


Against the Heart

by hamburgs11



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Best Friends, Drama, Enemies to Friends, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Multi, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-27
Updated: 2020-10-25
Packaged: 2021-01-04 18:41:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 67
Words: 126,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21202271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hamburgs11/pseuds/hamburgs11
Summary: Trapped down on a radiation soaked earth they have no where else to go. All they have is each other for survival.  Many stories start. Many end. Two leaders fight for the one position only to have an unexpected force drift them closer together. Two best friends who can't live without each other may have to. Two enemies may come together in a friendship or kill each other in an attempt to stop the friendship.They don't know what's going to happen to them. But they do know that it's gonna be a wild lifetime.If they make it to a lifetime.*Rights to characters go to Kass Morgan creator of the 100 book series*





	1. Shipped Off

**CLARKE**

You know that moment when everything is okay?

Well, that is this moment.

I am no longer stuck by the Ark's rules or stranded in space with nowhere to go. I am here, feeling the sun on my face and the trees around me as they create a fortress of quiet and solitude. There is a breeze, the smell of sweet wildflowers being significant as if they had taken over the Earth.

It has been 97 years since humans have been to the circle that they call the Earth. A nuclear apocalypse had killed everyone, leaving the planet soaked in a radiation of death. My people only survived because twelve nations had built operational space stations at the time of the bombs.

Now we only have the Ark, one station forged from many.

No one has been on Earth for so long since it needs another hundred years before being survivable again. Earth. The ground. 

Now that's the dream, while this is reality.

"Prisoner 319. Face the wall." A rough and violent voice strikes me out of my thoughts when one of the guards comes inside my room. I spin to face my white roomed cell door to see the average built guard standing in the way of what my only exit would be.

Juvenile offenders get put into these rooms, these white-walled and crazy feeling rooms to make you think about what you have done before being killed for your crimes. They're called Lockup. 

Reality is not a place anyone would want to be in right now.

"What are you doing here?" The guard moved closer, the helmet that was covering his face now rattling against his head slightly. 

"Be quiet and just hold out your right arm." He demanded, his tone not softening in the slightest. Instead of following his orders, I instead decided that taking a step back would be the right course of action.

It was a stupid action because I was the prisoner, but it was an action that I felt I needed to make.

"NO. It's not my time yet. I'm still under eighteen. I still have a month."

Every crime on the Ark, no matter how small, is punishable by death and only death. Unless the criminal is under eighteen. In which case, they have to wait until they're of age to be killed. It's a bit rough knowing that whatever you do, you'll still end up dying, but it's just always been a rule.

Being I'm only 17, it'll be another month until my execution. Not the best birthday celebration, but it's a day I'll finally be out of here for good.

I knew that with every inch of my fiber, I just wanted to fight him off. But I also knew that even if I did that, I would never be able to get out of here. They would just kill me either way, and the fight would be useless.

As the guard was staring at me with those deep hateful eyes, I finally held out my right arm to him. "Your watch. Take it off." My eyes darted towards the silver watch on my wrist.

It was the only thing that I had left of my father. 

If I wasn't going to fight for my life, I was going to fight for this. 

"No. It was my father's. I won't give it to you." I shielded my wrist with my arm, bringing it towards my chest. There is nothing I will fight for more than this watch. No matter what, I will fight for it.

"Take it off." He demanded again.

"NO." I spit at him.

He grabbed onto my wrist, trying to forcefully rip it off me, but I ended up kicking him in the leg to halt him for a second. With the sudden upper hand, I tried to go to punch him, but I was suddenly too late as he was already up again. 

A jolt of electricity coursed through my body, soon making everything that was once in front of me disappear.

\-----

I opened my eyes with a fuzzy feeling inside my head. My bones were aching as if they were roasted in a fire and then reassembled weakly inside me.

That douchebag must have zapped me with one of those taser things. All because I wouldn't give him something. And they say we're the criminals…

The watch.

I sat up in quite a hurry, holding out my arms in front of me. SHIT. The watch was gone just as I had feared. I shouldn't have had hope that he would let me keep it. I shouldn't have had hope in general.

Suddenly, the door was pushed open, and I looked up to see another guard. Good. That other guard better never show his face to me ever again. Or I'll take something of his he loves like his precious balls.

"Prisoner 319." I got up off the bed and stood up straight at the sound of my assigned number. He moved to the side of the door as if to let me through. 

But… that's impossible.

I cautiously walked to the edge of the room, stopping beside the guard. 

"Clarke, stop. Just wait there." A familiar voice stopped me from running right out the door. 

"Mom?" I saw her standing with two guards, built up with armor, behind her for protection. "Mom, what's going on? What is this?" 

Her face softened but with a guilty aroma surrounding her.

The guard that I thought was freeing me grabbed onto my arm with a tightness that I wouldn't be able to free myself out of. I knew it was too good to be true.

"Come on, let's go." He started to pull me opposite of where my mom was. "They're killing us, aren't they?" The question rushed out of me as I tried to slow down. "Reducing the prisoners' population to make more time for the rest of you?" I noticed how she tried to keep herself in authority mode. She gestured for the guard to stop.

"Clarke, they're not killing you. You're being sent to the ground, all one hundred of you." I felt my eyes widen.

"What?... but it's not safe down there. You and I both know that!" A fear I'd never felt before started to set in. "We get reviewed at 18. Not lower." 

"The rules have changed, sweetie. This opportunity gives you a chance to live."

"Live? Live in a radiation filled world?! 

"Clarke, your instincts will tell you to take care of everybody else first, just like your father." I felt my eyes burn at the thought of him. She walked closer, placing a hand on my cheek.

For a second, I saw my mom, not a leader.

"...but you have to be careful. I can't lose you like we did him." Tears started to fill her eyes. "I love you so much, Clarke." Her thumb rotated in circles on my skin, and then suddenly, there was a prick in my neck.

Everything started to become warped. My mom was swirling around my eyes, and as my body fell off its axis, I felt a pair of familiar arms surround me as they did when I was a kid.

"Earth, Clarke. You finally get to go to Earth." 

\------------

Noise surrounded me. 

Before I opened my eyes, before I could even imagine where I was or what was happening, I heard dozens of people talking all at once. No words were clear to my brain. 

A headache started to form.

A rumble that caused me to jump opened my eyes within a second. I glanced around with a blurry vision until it became clear enough that I could see. I knew where I was, what had happened, what was going to happen.

I saw dozens of people stuck in rows of seats, a band around their stomachs for protection. Protection from the shaking, not protection from what was most dangerous. The people, the prisoners.

"Welcome back." I heard a vaguely recognizable deep voice. A voice I hadn't heard for what felt like centuries. I turned my head to see him. 

His look hadn't changed from the last time I saw him. His black hair cut down to his scalp in a military cut, his eyes brown as mud, and his skin as dark as a chocolate bar.

The question was, what was he doing here?

"Look, Clarke. I-" 

I didn't care to hear another apology from him as I wrapped my arms around him the best I could, being placed right beside him in a cell-like chair with not much movement. 

He didn't hug back, probably felt too guilty.

He was the one who caused my dad to get floated on the Ark, but it was time to put that all behind me. It was Wells. He was my childhood friend, and now we will be going down to Earth together, where we'd be stuck together.

I'd say that makes for a time to start over.

I moved away, seeing a shocked expression plastered across his face.

"But… I thought you were mad at me." He looked down, showing how badly he truly felt. 

"I was. I actually still am. But we need to start over if we're going to survive." His eyes reached mine. "We need to be a team." He nodded, sitting up straight with a bit of determination.

"That I can do."

The uneasiness that radiated between us quickly disappeared, turning calmer. As calm as you can get when you're stuck in a ship that's crashing down to Earth with one hundred prisoners on board.

"Now, I want to know why the hell you're here with a bunch of prisoners." I felt my soft gaze turn into a hard stare. 

He smiled awkwardly, scratching the back of his neck. "Well... when I found out they were sending prisoners down to the ground. I got myself arrested." My brows furrowed in confusion.

"Why would anyone do that? You know we could die down there." His eyes softened. 

"I knew you were one of the 100. I couldn't let you go down there alone." 

For once, I saw a strength in Wells, one that he never showed while we were on the Ark. One I wish he had to help save my father from his fate when we were on the Ark.

Even if I was angry at him, for my father, for him getting himself into this mess, I couldn't help but feel a bit happy. He was my best friend, and he never forgot that even when I was so mad at him that I wouldn't let him visit me in Lockup.

Suddenly, a crash ruined the moment and sent people almost flying out of their seats. 

"What was that?" I grabbed onto Wells' arm for balance, quickly letting go once the rumble settled.

"That was the atmosphere." I raised an eyebrow. I wasn't expecting an answer, but glad I have smartie smarts over here. 

"WOO LET'S DO THAT AGAIN!" Some people started to cheer on for the crashes, while some looked like they were about to puke. The small remainder of the prisoners were either in sad silence or quiet in a murder stare.

We have quite the bunch here.

A static sound rang out towards a small box opening in the wall that revealed a TV, a small one at that. Most of the people turned quiet, while a tiny group was annoying enough to keep on chatting.

The person that everyone should hate appeared on the screen, the face of the person who sent half of these prisoners' families to be floated, including my dad.

"Prisoners of the Ark, you have been given a second chance at life. As Chancellor, I hope you see this as not just a chance for you but as a chance for all of us. Indeed, for mankind itself." I have to hand it to him. He must spend a lot of time on speeches.

Time he should be spending to save the people on his ship.

"We have no idea what is waiting for you on the ground. If the odds of survival were better, we would've sent others. Frankly, we're sending you because your crimes have made you expendable." A crowd starts to boo in unison. 

"FRANKLY, I THINK YOU NEED TO HAVE YOUR HEAD SHOT INTO SPACE!" One of the booers yells, causing many to follow in cheering. Seems like hating on the Chancellor is a good bonding experience.

"Your dad's a dick, Wells." I whispered so no one else could overhear. Not that they would, since everyone's focused on the screen. He lets out a sigh, taking a rest from glaring at his father's face.

"I know more than anyone." He seemed disappointed, which he should be. 

"Your crimes are to be forgiven, and your records wiped clean." 

I didn't feel as uplifted by his words as he seemed to want me to be. It's like he's telling us this because he knows or thinks we'll die.

His irritating voice disappeared, as did his face. The TV went into the wall once again, as if it had never been there.

\------------

It didn't take much time before someone decided to be reckless and got out of their seat. 

I didn't care much at first since it was only Finn, the spacewalker of legend. The guy who was a complete idiot then and still is now as he's floating in the air like he never left his job.

Prisoners in either direction started to cheer him on as if he was the most impressive thing ever. Even though all he did was unhook his belt. I rolled my eyes.

His eyes landed on Wells as he tried to gain his balance in the air. "Check it out. Your dad ended up floating me after all." A cheeky grin appeared on his face, one I'd like to slap right off. Wells just looked away, trying to ignore all the stares.

Not only is he at risk because of a radiation filled world, but now he's also screwed because a stupid little boy outed that he was the Chancellor's son. 

I just hope that Wells can protect himself from all these murderers.


	2. Dropship Dilemma

**CLARKE**

"You should strap in before the parachutes deploy, or you could get hurt." I warned him as he kicked his legs to turn upright. 

"Oh. Does the little princess care if I live or die?" He swims through gravity closer to me, in which I push him away, causing him to spin out of control. He stops himself as he grabs onto a chair in front of me.

Two more boys not too far away started to unfasten their belts themselves. "Hey, you two! If you want to stay alive, stay in your seats." I yelled towards them like a mother fearing for a child's safety. Even if they are stupid teenagers, they don't deserve to get hurt.

The Chancellor, Jaha, came on the screen once more from the TV that I didn't even notice was there. "Mount Weather is life. You must locate the supplies that we have dropped immediately." He disappeared as soon as he reappeared. 

The spacewalker, Finn, floated towards me once again, making me want to die. "Hey princess, you're the traitor who's been in lockup for a year." His smile wouldn't leave his face, no matter how long I glared at him.

“And you're the idiot who wasted a month of oxygen on an illegal spacewalk." I faked a smile. "Stop calling me princess." The smile fell as I tried to look away from him. 

"But it was a fun illegal spacewalk, princess.” He said like it was some kind of justification. “I'm Finn, by the way." Just as he was lending out his hand, he dropped to the ground right on his face.

"Told you. You should have stayed in your seat." I sighed as he moved onto his back.

The two teenagers that followed Finn out of their seats fell almost in unison. We're already off to a bad start.

"Retrorockets should have fired by now." I could hear in Wells' voice how worried he was. 

"Everything on this ship is one hundred years old. Just give it a second." I tried to calm his nerves along with mine. I ended up digging my nails into the metal chair arms. 

"Clarke, there's something I have to tell you." I glanced over at Wells as he gently grasped onto my arm. His eyes stared into mine with a seriousness that almost scared me, but he soon looked down. His hand moved back onto his leg as he took a deep breath. "Never mind, it's not important." 

I saw he was lying, but I knew pushing it out of him wouldn't help. When he was ready to tell me whatever he needed to, he would. 

"If it ever does become important, know you can talk to me." He gave me a smile, but I knew something didn't feel quite right. The smile that used to be so bright was now just a cover for something bigger, something I didn't understand.

Another crash rang through the metal of the ship.

At the sound of familiar voices, I looked to the two guys talking a few seats from our row. They were teens who talked quite often when they were in their cells near mine. They seemed like they were best friends. At least that’s what they became while they were in there.

I only knew their names because they always yelled for each other.

Monty was the weak-looking one with dark hair and of Asian origin, while his friend, Jasper, was Caucasian with rough black hair. Jasper was the skinniest of the two as if he hadn't eaten for days. 

They were an interracial friendship like me and Wells, which isn’t seen much on the Ark.

"Listen. No machine hum." Monty pointed out. 

"Whoa, that's a first." Jasper whispered, with a bit of shock in his voice. What could that mean? Is something wrong?

The last crash, which was a big one, signaled that we had landed.

Wells winced beside me, and I glanced over in a panic. "Are you okay?" 

He laughed a bit. "It's not like someone could shoot me Clarke. The crash just affected my leg a bit. I'm okay." 

I shook my head, sighing. "Don't scare me."

Everyone around us unbuckled their belts and got up as if they had somewhere to be. I saw Finn, whom I didn’t see get up before, in the corner leaning over two bodies as soon as I stood onto my feet.

I knew who it was without even thinking about it.

I quickly walked over, looking down at the two boys whom I told not to get out of their seats. "Are any of them breathing?" I held onto a bit of hope, but he looked up with a sad gleam in his eyes. He shook his head no.

For once, I saw darkness cover his face, which shook me to my core. We haven't even walked onto the ground yet and two people have already died.

This can not be a sign of good luck.

"I told you to get back in your seat, and you didn't listen to me. Look what happened because of it." He didn't move as he just stared down at the bodies. I shouldn't even try with him.

I turned around and started for the ladder, but I stopped once a deep, forceful voice echoed throughout the ship. "The door is at the lowest level. Let's go!" He sounded like a leader, a stupid one at that.

I gave one look to Wells before I started to climb down to the very last level, along with everyone else who was following the mysterious man.

"NO! We can't just open the doors!" As I climbed down the last ladder, I saw a strong-looking man by the door, but that didn’t stop me. I knew he was going to open it as he yelled for everyone to back up. 

I jumped onto the ground and ran through the load of people in front of me.

Finally, once I was up to him, I grabbed onto his shoulder.

He was dressed in a guards outfit, which meant he had to be the one to keep up safe, not to kill us. "Stop. The air could be toxic." I warned him, but he nudged my hand off him. 

I stared at the tall, mildly built up guard with dark brown wavy hair and brown eyes. He had a face that seemed like it would attract many women, and he probably used that to his advantage as many men would.

"If the air is toxic, we're dead anyway." His voice was low and attractive, but no way in hell was I going to let him kill us. No matter how nice his face or voice, he was being a terrible guard.

Give it to the Chancellor to give us the guy who wants to cause every prisoner’s death, even his sons.

I went to grab his arm again as I saw he was about to pull the lever that would open the dropship doors. 

"Bellamy?" A girl's voice echoed from the center of the crowd, and soon a brown-haired girl was standing in front of everyone. She had her big brown eyes widened as she stared intently at the guard.

I let my hand fall from his shoulder.

She ran into his arms that opened as soon as she came towards him. He had a hint of a smile on his face as he tightened his hold on her, keeping one hand to the back of her head.

It was like they hadn't seen each other for centuries. Maybe his girlfriend? 

"My God, look how big you've gotten." He slowly pulled himself away from her, keeping his hands grasped to her arms. That's not a thing you should say to your girlfriend. I sense a slap coming soon.

"Well, look at you- Wait. Is that a guards uniform?" She seemed confused as if she didn't know. Something doesn't seem right here. 

"I borrowed it to get on the dropship. Someone has to take care of you." 

Wait, he's not a guard? Now him trying to open the dropship doors without thinking makes sense.

I looked down at his attire, realizing something important was missing. Something any guard would have. "Where's your wristband?" I lifted my head back up as he suddenly caught my eyes.

"Does it really matter? Would you just back off? I haven't seen my brother for a year." The girl suddenly snapped at me as if I had stolen something from her. She turned back to her brother with a flip of her hair. 

As I take the time to compare them, I finally notice that they do look similar. There are some differences, such as the darker tint in his skin and her lighter hair, but anyone could see that they come from the same family because of their strong facial features. That or they just look strangely alike.

But that would mean… "No one has a brother..."

Whispers started to circle around the people.

"That's Octavia Blake, the girl they found hidden in the floor."

Now I remember. No one could have siblings even by mistake because of the ration amount and the oxygen running low, so they had to put her in the Lockbox.

Not much good it did.

I felt a dark aura surround her as she looked down at the ground listening to the group, but her brother soon lifted her chin with his hand. "Octavia, no. Let's give them something else to remember you by." He said, hoping to make her feel better.

"Yeah? Like what?" I could hear the grin in her voice. 

You could see that she looked up to him without even having to think about it.

"Like being the first person on the ground in one hundred years." 

Knowing that he was going to make another go at pulling the lever, I tried to grab him once again. But it was like he knew what I would do and quickly pulled down the lever without a second thought. 

I held whatever breath I could in a few seconds as the door opened with a sound similar to suction in reverse. All the air flowed out into the great beyond.

Light invaded the ship, causing me to squint my eyes almost to the point of closing them.

Once the door was fully opened, I let out a breath feeling the wind blow onto my skin like a caress by the gods. I couldn't help but inch towards the exit with the feeling of wonder taking over my mind.

Octavia didn't take a second to breathe before jumping down the stairs that blew out from the bottom of the dropship. She stood on a patch of dirt before letting out a yell that made bird-like creatures fly out of the trees.

"WE'RE BACK BITCHES!" Her arms flew up, and soon, everyone was passing me, almost pushing me onto the ground, as they ran out into the world. 

The new Earth.


	3. A New Earth

**CLARKE**

I took one more step towards the edge before jumping out onto the dirt. The dry brown particles flew up from the impact of my feet, and I couldn't help but feel a sense of calm, even with a bunch of monkeys running around me.

Here I was standing in a blank area of space with only trees surrounding me, beautiful green trees that seemed to almost touch the sky. Something I had never seen before, and here I was, finally seeing them with my very own eyes.

… and yet all I can think about is that I’m witnessing these beautiful things as a criminal, with a bunch of other criminals as my witnesses.

Sure Jaha said we would be pardoned for our crimes, but he only said that, so we would forgive the Ark for putting us in those hellholes in the first place. Then when he figured out it was safe down here, if it even is, he would kill us without a second thought.

"Why so serious, princess?" An obnoxious voice filled my hearing space, almost startling me. I glanced over to see Finn standing beside me with a smile. "It's not like we died in a fiery explosion." 

I sighed, looking away from him. "Try telling that to the two boys who followed you out of your seat." I snarled as I stood my ground, crossing my arms. 

"You don't like being called princess, do you, princess?" He took a second of hesitance before speaking back with yet again his voice that I'd rather not hear right now. Can I never just have a moment of peace?

"Not by you." I looked around for a moment before spotting the person I was looking for. He was staring at the trees, intently focused on something. Without another word to Finn, I ran towards him. 

He turned around as if he knew I was coming and widened his smile.

"We're finally on Earth, Wells!" I announced excitedly while still trying to keep a low profile to not draw attention to us. 

"I know. I can't believe it." He looked up at the bright blue sky with a face full of happiness. "All those moments of imaging how it would be as kids never prepared me for this. I could never regret coming down here now that I see how beautiful it is." I took a second to take in his words.

Taking a deep breath in, I peek at him from the corner of my eye. He’s staring at the trees once again in the same direction as before.

"So. What were you doing here in the middle of nowhere before I came over?" I ask with curiosity. 

"Everywhere is the middle of nowhere here, Clarke." He said back, trying to be humorous, but I raised an eyebrow. 

"You know what I mean." I wandered my eyes off to the direction he was looking towards.

"This guy. I noticed him on the dropship talking to some girl, and when she blew him off, he started to flirt with another girl on the other side of him. When that girl also blew him off, he started to flirt with the girl beside the girl he flirted with before. Better than TV." I saw a familiar-looking face over by the trees. The figure set an arm on the trunk to lean in towards the girl he was stopping from escaping. 

He continued. "Right now, he's trying to get to first base. I don't want to miss what happens next." I cleared my throat, making him draw his attention towards me. 

"Being a little creepy there, Wells." He rolled his eyes as he let out a breathy laugh. 

"There's not much down here yet. I've got to have something for entertainment if there's no television." Almost ignoring what Wells said, I squint my eyes towards the guy as I try to figure out why he looks so familiar.

"I think I know him. Oh, OH!" Finally, his face set a place to a name. "Murphy. I saw him once in the Lockbox. It was when I was first brought in, and he was trying to fight a guard to get out." 

Wells’ eyes wander towards me with a deep interest. "What happened? Did he knock out the guard and escape?" I can tell there's a whole action movie playing out in his head right now. Might as well have some fun with it.

I look around, making sure no one’s nearby.

"I'm not supposed to say this, but yes, he escaped, and when he got out, he murdered all these people. It took the guards to the point of bribing and threatening to keep all of it quiet." I kept my voice down to a whisper as Wells' eyes widened.

"Then one day they finally find him. Guess what he was doing." I gesture for him to come closer, and he does as ordered. "He was eating a dead body he had killed. That's when they realized he was a cannibal and put him back in jail to kill as many prisoners as he could. Like a guard dog but more vicious." He looks over to Murphy and has a traumatized expression on his face as if he's imagining it.

"Really? That's so...oh my god, and he's down here with us?!" He covers his mouth, pretending to gag. 

"Well, they had to put him somewhere."

After a few seconds, I can’t take it anymore.

I start to laugh hysterically, leaning over as I held my stomach. 

I can feel his eyes on me, his glare seeping through my body like a laser. "You THOUGHT! YOU ACTUALLY THOUGHT!" I come back up, wiping some tears away from my eyes. "You should have seen your face, oh my gosh!" I point at him as my laughter fades out.

"That's so mean. I actually thought my dad wanted to have us killed." I pat him on the back. "Well, he did send us down here. That's as close as you can get when you don't have a human cannibal dog." He sighs, and I can see a small smile on his face.

If I can get him to forget about all of this mess for even a second, then I would say that was a job well done.

"So, what really happened?" He must really need entertainment already. 

"It's not that interesting, but he got put into solitary confinement for a month." I shrug. His eyes narrow down. 

"That must have been terrible." He whispers under his breath. Is he seriously feeling bad for this guy?

"He was terrible in the first place. He deserved it."

"Not him. You."

I narrow my eyebrows. "It was treason. If I had gotten away with it, then my father would have been the only one to blame. I couldn't let that happen." He doesn't match my eyes. 

"You never deserved to be in there. Your father never deserved to die. He was only telling the truth." I can feel a hint of anger surrounding him.

"Is there something you need to tell me?" 

He finally looks up, shocked at himself. "No. No, I'm sorry. I was just... being down here brings up a lot of issues I want to resolve." He turns his body to face me.

"Clarke, I'm so sorry about how the truth came out." He seems hesitant as his eyes don't land on me. "I'm sorry I told my dad about you and your father telling people about how the Ark was losing oxygen." He takes a deep breath. "And I’m more than sorry that your father was floated." His deep brown eyes finally stare into mine.

I know how sorry he is just by looking into his eyes, but I detect there's more to the story that no one's telling me. "Wells, it's ok. It's all in the past now." I place my palm onto his warm cheek. "I forgive you." I say with all the sincerity I can.

He doesn't look to feel that much better, but that's all I can do for now.

I quickly reassemble myself as I look down to see something I didn't see before. "Is that the map?" I snatch the folded up paper out of his pocket, changing the subject with a swift motion. 

"Yeah, I grabbed one from the Ark just in case." 

I start to scan over it. Then I turn my focus to the mountains and lift the map to see what's around us. "It's so beautiful around here. Oh, there's...." I become confused and closely stare at the map and then at the mountain ahead of us. 

"What's wrong, Clarke?" I widen my eyes, realizing that we're super fucked. That's even worse than just fucked.

"You see that peak over there?" He turns his head to look over at the area I'm pointing at. He nods, I gulp. "That's Mount Weather." He takes a second to himself. 

"What is that... Oh my god. You can't mean." 

My heart starts to beat faster with fear.

"There's a radiation soaked forest between us and our next meal."

  
  



	4. Less Teamwork, More Problems

**CLARKE**

I lay out the map on a sleek metal table in the middle of the dropship’s first floor. No one else is in here, everyone in the oblivious air outside instead. Wells needed to be somewhere calm right now, so I sent him outside to check the dropship.

I can’t believe this, Chancellor Jaha, just had to go and make more problems for us. Being down in a world that wasn’t ready for humanity yet, just wasn’t good enough for him.

Placing a cup on each side of the map to keep it down, I get closer to it in the faintly lit room. How are we going to get out of this mess?

“Hey.” I look up with a sudden fear stricken into me. 

I let out a deep breath when I see it’s just Jasper wearing his very clear goggles. He must have come in really quietly while I was focusing on the map. 

He couldn’t have just flown in here… I raise an eyebrow for a second before naturally letting it go down.

“I was wondering if you wanted a drink? Monty, my friend, is making some mean ones out there. You wouldn’t believe how good they are, even if I put it into words. I swear to the goodness of the Earth they’re the best.” He places a hand on his chest, swearing to god.

He’s pretty excited for someone stuck in a death scenario. And talkative. Though he doesn’t know how much a mess we’re in yet, so I don’t want to ruin his moment.

“I bet they are good, but I think I’d rather keep a clear head.” 

He nods his head slowly and walks closer. “Is everything alright? You seem a bit on edge.” His hands grasp onto the edge of the other side of the table.

I shake my head pretty quickly. Clarke, act normal, jeez.

“Really, I’m good. Just picking the next spot for our...fishing trip…” I almost trip over my words. But fishing trip? Really? I stretch my mouth into a smile as if not to show off any warning signals to him. 

“Oh ok, well I hope you have fun with that. If you do want a drink, just call me over, and I’ll grab you one for those empty cups.” He points towards the metal containers keeping my map straight. “The names Jasper.” A brightness that’s been around him since he’s entered doesn’t fade even a tiny bit.

He seems too innocent for this world. I hope he can keep up.

“Clarke!” I turn my head to the loud voice calling me out and see my informer, Wells, enter. He stops as soon as he sees Jasper and clears his throat giving a tiny wave to him. “Sorry. Am I interrupting something?” Jasper gives him the same excited smile he gave me.

“Nope, I was just leaving. Clarke, I hope to see you at the party.” He gives me one last glance before running into the light of the forest, and yelling ‘Let’s party!’ with everyone behind him cheering.

“Weird kid.” 

I focus my attention back on the map. “You have no idea. He doesn’t seem to be all that tough right now. He’s bound to get injured if he doesn’t toughen up.” Wells walks closer to the other side of the table.

“I think he’ll be ok. We don’t know him, and he could be way tougher than we think. Now it’s his friend, Monty, I’m worried about. He was handing out drinks, but when Jasper left, he looked like a fish out of water.” I look at him from the corner of my eye. 

“Could you stop with your reality TV notes and tell me what you found out from your inspection of the dropship.”

“Okay fine. There are some problems you’re not going to be happy about.”

“What kind of problems Wells?” I stand back up, my attention focused on him with concern. 

“See, you’re already not happy, and I haven’t even told you what they are.” I widen my eyes, pressing him to tell me. “The communication system is dead, a dozen panels are missing…and heat fried the wires.” His expression turns serious.

I sigh as I rub my forehead. 

Just when I thought things couldn’t get worse.

“Well, we’ll have to figure that out later because all that matters right now is that we get to Mount Weather. At least if we want to survive.” 

He furrows his eyebrows. “ Who wouldn’t want to survive Clarke?” I know he’s not asking a serious question, but he should be.

“Look out there, they're celebrating, not even a question as to where the supplies are. All they care about is partying.” He tilts his head to the side a bit. 

“Clarke, they’ve been stuck in cells for years. It’s not bad to want to celebrate being free.” 

I smash my hands on the table. “But Wells, that’s the thing. We’re not free! We’re just in a bigger cage than before but with more monsters around us.” He doesn’t seem to have words as he looks away from me in thought. 

“Well, then let’s figure this thing out and save everyone.” He smiles as his eyes land on mine, and I feel a weight lifted off my chest. At least there’s one person with me.

“Now we just have to figure out how we’re going to get there.”

“Get where?” A deep, obnoxious voice echoes throughout the room as the body connected to the voice walks in, uninvited. 

Bellamy, the acting guard who is presumably not actually a guard. Just my luck.

“You’re supposed to be out partying, so why are you in here looking like a snooze fest?” 

I roll my eyes. “You’re supposed to be a guard, so why don’t you have a wristband on?” He looks down at his wrist but then up with a smirk.

“I guess both of our questions just won’t be answered then. Now go out and get some drinks.” His suggestion seems more like an order. 

He turns to leave, but I rush from behind the table and move towards him. 

“We’re supposed to just follow you when we don’t even know who you are? What will everyone do if they think you're not a guard? You think they’ll follow you?” His eyes narrow down to mine. “ Now, tell me where your wristband is.” I get closer to him, and his glare intensifies.

He’s taller than me as if I could be his prey, but even with the advantage he has over me, he doesn’t scare me.

“Not that you should know this, but I don’t like to be tied down.” He smiles as there is only a hint of a glare left. 

“No, I think everyone got that when they first saw you.” I move only a tiny bit closer. “Now, are you going to tell me, or should I just go out and tell everyone they can have some lying fresh meat.” 

To my surprise, he heads towards the exit.

He clears his throat as he turns around. “I’ve got a plan, and no one, not even the princess, is going to stand in my way. Also, the next time you try to threaten me, remember.” He touches the side of his pants where there’s a bulge. “A guard always carries a gun for protection.” 

I stare at him as he walks out with that godforsaken smirk on his face. For a while, all I can do is just stand there.

“So…” Wells’ voice clears the silence. “Is he a guard or not? Because if he’s not, we’re screwed.”

I sigh.

We’re already screwed.

\--------

“So Mount Weather is right here. We just need to figure out how to get through the radiation in the forest without dying.” I point at the grassy part detailed on the map. 

“You make it sound so easy.” I hear the sarcasm in his voice and decide to ignore it. “Clarke, we need to tell someone. We can’t figure this out on our own.” 

“And whom do you think we should tell? Who’s not going to freak out and tell everyone? Who will be able to get some good ideas on the table that we can’t figure out? Who, Wells, who?” He gives me the you know who look. 

“No.” I stand firm on my decision. 

“But Clarke, he’s the only choice we have. He was able to stand up to you when you scare so many other people, and if he isn’t a guard, then he had to have a plan for becoming one. You know how cautious my father is.” His eyes bore into my head, and I know he’s right. 

Oh, I hate how right he is.

I look away from him, hoping there’s another option. I’d much rather go on a date with that idiot Finn than ask Bellamy for help.

“Clarke, he knows how to keep secrets. He had his sister hide for years with no one finding out.” 

He’s right. If I’m going to save these people, I need to put my differences with Bellamy aside. At least for today.

\---------------------

I make my way slowly, trying not to cause any attention towards the fire that a party of people are surrounding. More specifically the one guy we need right now is around the fire drinking and chatting someone up.

“Bellamy, I need to talk to you.” He takes one glance at me away from one of the prisoners he was having a conversation with. Or should I say one of the girls he was flirting with? As he has been with numerous girls since we’ve landed.

And then he turns his head away from me again. 

“Sorry, princess. I’m busy. If you want to talk to me, you're going to have to make an appointment.” 

“This is serious. Can you just put away your problems with me for one second?”

“Your not important enough to have a problem with down here, princess. Oh, and about that appointment. I have no space for about... forever, actually.”

I knew he wasn’t going to talk to me out of the kindness of his heart if he even has one. I inch closer to his ear. The girl gives me a look as if to say back off, but he doesn’t seem to mind.

He doesn’t move an inch as if he’s actually trying to ignore my presence.

“I don’t want any drama right now. If you want any of your so-called followers to survive, you’ll meet me at the dropship.” I turn away, not taking any looks back as I walk back to the dropship to meet Wells. 

Hopefully, he’s behind me. But if I know anything about him so far, it’s that all he cares about is himself and no one else.

We’re so screwed.

\-------

“He’s not coming.” I pace back and forth, the metal floor clunking underneath my feet with every step.

“Clarke, you need to be patient. It’s only been a few minutes.” I stop and face Wells, who’s oddly calm. 

“Why did I let you talk me into this? We can just figure this out ourselves. I don’t need anyone's help, especially not his.” I say with a bit more confidence specifically because I don’t want to have to count on that self-absorbed asshole.

“All we have to do is figure out how to get through a forest that should be easy enough. We just need some self-made suits.” 

“And where do you expect us to find materials for said suits. Also, we have to have a way to breathe somehow. It is a whole forest to get to Mount Weather, and we can’t just hold our breaths for 30 or more minutes.” He says, trying to bring logic into my idea.

He makes some pretty good points, but it’s not like Bellamy can just whip up the materials we need. He can pull witty remarks out of his ass, but I’m pretty sure he can’t pull anything actually useful out. 

I can’t just give up. There has to be some way to make this plan work.

“So, you can’t just be comforted by the fact that we’re finally on the ground.” My eyes dart towards the body leaning against the entrance of the dropship. Wells turns around so quickly his body could have been twisted in half. “Is this not good enough for you guys?” Bellamy asks with his offense taken side showing.

“How long have you been standing there?” I ask, with a bit of anger seeping out. First, he’s late, and now he’s mad at us for wanting to get to safety. 

“Long enough to hear your idiotic plan of leaving this mountain.” He steps into the room, no longer acting like a creepy stalker. 

“We need to get to Mount Weather. You heard my father’s message. That has to be our priority.” I nodded, agreeing with Wells. 

“Screw your father. What? Do you think you’re in charge here? You and your little princess?” He asks, closing in space between him and Wells. Like he wanted to start a fight that a leader should not be starting. 

But he isn’t the definite leader quite yet, and won’t be on my watch. I might not care about being the leader, but if Bellamy is the next one in line, then there’s no other option but to stop that from happening. I will not let a liar be in charge of me or any of these unsuspecting criminals.

“Do you think we care about who's in charge? We need to leave to Mount Weather now and not just because the Chancellor said so, but because if we wait, we’ll just get hungrier, and it will get harder to survive.” I stepped closer, trying to make him back off Wells.

He can’t defend himself right now with that leg, and I know Bellamy knows that. 

He just stared at us for a while, his nose flaring, and the air growing more intense.

People outside must have noticed the possible upcoming fight because soon everyone was blowing inside the ship, blocking the exit like they were guards. Give it to the prisoners to be like bloodhounds. But instead of looking for items or people, they're looking for any chance of a fight.

“OH, great everyone's here. I’ve got an idea.” I kept my eyes on him as he gestured out to everyone with a giant smile on his smug face. “How about you two go and find it for us. Let the privileged do the hard work for a change!” He announced loudly.

Almost everyone started to cheer, but I saw a few faces who weren’t going along with it. Jasper and Monty were looking at each other, almost as if they were worried about us.

Well, if they knew us, they would know they don’t have to be.

“You’re not listening. We all need to go to survive.” Wells stood up for us, moving in front of me with a limp. He shouldn’t be egging them on, not with his injury.

Suddenly a familiar face from earlier stood out from the front of the crowd as he moved beside Bellamy. “Look at this everybody, Chancellor of Earth.” He waved his arms out towards Wells, and I could see Wells with a look of shock on his face.

Murphy, the Player, from his entertainment brain show, turned out to also be a dick.

“Think that’s funny?” Wells looked like he was about to punch the smile right off his face. And I’d usually be up for it, but I know right now it would just end up in disaster.

I touched his shoulder, telling him to stand down...but then, without even a warning, Murphy punched him right in the cheek. 

The sound echoed throughout the dropship with a sickening thud.

Wells didn’t go down as he quickly regained his posture and returned the favor with a revenge punch to Murphy’s face, who staggered. Blood dripped from his nose onto the floor as he returned from shielding his nose to continue the fight.

But before he could, a hand jerked him back.

The owner of the hand surprised me. It was Finn, the spacewalker.

“Kids got one leg. How about you wait until it’s a fair fight?” He’s trying to act like the good guy, but I don’t know if it’s actually an act or not. You’d think so with his record.

“Hey, spacewalker, rescue me next!” Octavia, from inside the crowd, shouts out. 

Murphy scoffs and roughly pulls his shoulder out from Finn’s grip. Murphy looks to Bellamy, but Bellamy’s just staring at Octavia with an overprotective brotherly face on.

“What? He’s cute.” She tries to defend herself with her weak excuse.

I can see Finn’s ego strengthen as he smirks to himself and then gives me a wink. 

Gross.

“He’s a criminal.” Bellamy’s gaze became more intense. He actually looks serious for once instead of flirty or smug.

“They’re all criminals.” She says, looking deeply annoyed.

“Look, O, I came here to protect you.” He was being overprotective, but she should be glad someone is protecting her. Not everyone has a human shield down here. 

“I don’t need protection.” She looks away from him, crossing her arms.

Seeing that the fight has been snuffed out, the crowd seeps into the forest once again. They’re soon back to the partying they had to put on hold for this wonderful event. 

“This isn’t over.” Murphy glares at Wells, wiping a bit of dry blood from under his nose with his thumb. Wells just shakes his head as Murphy goes to leave. He walks up to me with a weakened stance.

“I think my reality TV show has turned against me.” 

I can’t help but let out a small laugh. “That’s what you get for using people’s lives as your entertainment.” He sighs sadly. 

“I’m just going to go sit down for a while. Call me over if you need me.” I give him a salute, and he smiles, walking away to the ladder to go up to where the chairs are.

I take a deep breath, closing my eyes to take everything in. Voices interrupt my clear head.

“I can’t stay here with the 100 O. I did something bad to get on the dropship, something the Ark will kill me for...” I hear Bellamy whisper to Octavia not too far away from me. 

Something bad?

What did he do?


	5. Don't Swim in the Lake

** CLARKE **

Something makes me feel like it wasn't just stealing a guard suit.

"Yeah." She replies which I take as my cue to leave and go back to the table where the map is.

Time to act like I wasn't just listening in on their conversation. Totally wasn't eavesdropping.

I see Bellamy give me a glance from the corner of my eye before he turns back around.

As they left, a pair of feet came into the drop ship once again and I caught eyes with him. I groaned to myself as he walked closer with a drink in each hand. So that's what he went to get.

I wish he had just stayed away.

"Hey princess." He places one drink in front of me, while keeping the other in his hand. "I thought you could loosen up a little." I slide the drink closer to him. "No thanks I'm good." I look back at the map and he place his drink down.

"So when do we leave for Mount Weather princess?" I furrow my eyebrows in confusion as I focus up at him. "How do you know about that? Were you eavesdropping?" I act like he invaded my personal space. But I did just do the same thing a moment ago.

"I wouldn't call it eavesdropping. More like intensely listening to a conversation that wasn't my own." I don't change my expression as I look away for a moment only to look back at him again. "So eavesdropping." I say once again. He shrugs.

"Well right now we can't as you've 'heard' there's an obstacle. But we can go get food."

He places his hands on the table and leans closer to where I am like he's trying to close the space in between us. But there's literally a table keeping him from doing exactly that. He knows that right?

"So am I invited or not?"

I really don't want him to join us but I have to take what I can get.

"Sure. If your alright with going right now." I smiled sarcastically.

"Ok. But I have one question. Even if your friend the crippled is going with us how is that enough people to carry food for a hundred people." He moves away. Dang it. He's got a point.

We need a few more people... At least two.

A grin forms on my face as I see exactly two people walking in front of the drop ship.

Monty and Jasper.

The only people I can really stand in this group except Wells.

"HEY YOU TWO!" They both jump and Jasper, who was in front of Monty, looked like he was about to jump into Monty's arms.

They both look at me with a sudden fear and I can't help but feel slightly bad for scaring them. Their like tiny dogs. I should have been more respectful.

"U-us?" Monty stuttered, pointing to himself, as if he's never actually met a person. I give him a slight nod. "Why do you want us?" Jasper stepped forward, seeming a bit more confident than his buddy there.

If they even are buddies.

"Oh do you finally want that drink?" Jasper walks into the drop ship, with Monty slowly following behind. "No actually I need your guys's help. We need to go catch food but we can't carry it all with 3 people. Would you come along?" They looked at each other for a long while before Jasper took another step forward.

"We're in. We don't have much to do here anyways and it could be fun." He smiled while Monty looked at him like he was going looney.

At least we have a bit of positivity here.

He adjusted his goggles on his head from falling.

"Question. What's with the goggles?" He started to look around cautiously as if he had some big secret. "You see I brought these in case of radiation. Then my eyes wouldn't hurt while dying If I did." I squinted my eyes in even more confusion.

"But I just wore them once and everyone started calling me goggles. Better nickname than shrimp when I was in school." I nodded my head, trying to understand this new Jasper logic. But I'll probably never get it.

A snort is heard.

"Ok Jasper that is an idiotic reasoning. Come up with a better one." Monty says, raising his voice a little louder for once. Come up with a better reasoning?

"What do you mean?" I ask with complete interest. This is my entertainment right now. Glancing at Jasper, I see Jasper giving Monty a death stare as if to keep something quiet. Monty just looks away though.

"The reason he wears them is to look cool and he's trying to come up with a reason that's interesting to make himself even cooler. A kind of redemption from his school days of being a nerd." He said in annoyance towards Jasper and right after...Jasper hit him in the arm.

Like he ruined his so brilliant plan.

I watch as Monty winces from his weakish looking bones being harmed and with his healthy arm, punch Jasper in retaliation. Who then also winces and holds his arm like he didn't deserve it.

These guys really are something.

"Hey..." I hear a familiar sounding voice and turn my head. "Can I also come?" I let out an annoyed sigh seeing it's the overly confident girl herself. Octavia.

As much as I'd like to tell her no and throw her to the curb, I need as many people I can get as I said before.

"Yea I guess. But what's your reasoning. You don't seem like the type who just wants to freely help without getting something in return." I cross my arms, eyeing her. "Trust me I'm not." She says before looking outside to the growing party going on.

She looks back at me. "But I'd also be getting something out of this if I'm being honest." I raise an eyebrow. She sees my obvious expression and sighs adjusting herself.

"Look if you had a brother you'd understand why I'd want to get away from mine for even just a little while."

I didn't know how it was to have a brother that's true. But if I had a brother like Bellamy who actually cared then I don't think I would be pushing him away as much as this.

Believe me I hate Bellamy but he's just doing what he thinks is right.

"So that's six people now. Should be enough, don't you think?" I glanced over at Finn who was barely paying attention. I did a double take after seeing that he was plucking at his wristband with a paperclip looking piece of metal.

I quickly grabbed onto his wrist to stop him.

"Do you understand if you do that, the Ark will think your dead?" I loudly stated and he rolled his eyes. "Yea. Why do you think I'm trying to take it off?" He landed his eyes back on me and then down at my hand still on his wrist.

I could sense Octavia already having a fit.

"But now I think I'll take even longer to deactivate it. With the added bonus of you touching me, it just makes it even more fun." I promptly take my hand away as he smirks.

I hear Octavia breathe out a huff of air before looking away from us.

"I can't believe you're actually stupid enough to want to make them think your dead. To make them think that they can never come down here. To end civilization as we know it." He just stared at me with a rebellious glint in his eye like he didn't hear a single word I said.

"You'd make a good leader princess. That little speech just made me want to go jump off a mountain like everytime I listened to Chancellor Jaha." I shook my head with disbelief. "Look princess. If they think I'm dead I'm off their radar. I don't like being tracked." He was starting to sound like every other prisoner out there.

"We're leaving. None of you take your wristbands off." I made a point to look at each of them in the eyes and I got numerous reactions. Jasper and Monty were just like why would they and Octavia acted like she could care less about some stupid wristband.

I looked one last time at Finn and he dropped the metal sighing silently like a little kid who couldn't go out to play with his friends because he had to do chores.

I really do not want to babysit a grown ass man right now.

\--------------

After gathering up Wells and some hunting supplies we started out in our quest to find some food in the forest beyond us.

Bellamy didn't pay much attention to us since we practically snuck out so that he wouldn't see his sister running away. I'm starting to feel like I'm on a field trip. And not a good one where your the kid, one where your the adult who has to deal with every single kid.

By this point we've been walking for about 10 minutes and all that's been in our way were trees. Beautiful trees. But trees nonetheless.

It was like everything just ran away from this area.

Like there was a threat that they needed to escape.

I'm walking behind everyone with the excuse of protecting them while I'm just trying to get some peace and quiet for once.

I would be walking with Wells but he separated from the group when he heard some rustling closer to camp. Lucky Bastard. He told us to go on without him and we did eventually but not without me telling him if he got hurt, I'd kill him.

Now if I couldn't walk with my best friend, I would just want quiet. Which is what I had.

But then that had to be ruined of course. As everything.

Octavia started to slow down from Finn's speed and down to mine. I see she's had enough of flirting.

She looks over at me, as I keep my eyes forward.

"Before you get any ideas, Finn is mine." She said like she was trying to be in charge of his life. "Before you get any more ideas, I don't care." And to be honest I didn't. Finn can be nice at times yea, but he's also far off from being my type. Maybe I just don't have a type.

But if I did, he would be the opposite of it. I know that for sure.

Then as if the heavens heard my prayers, a body of water full of greenish liquid stood out from a small cliff. Finally a reason to stop her insistent controlling yapping.

I see why Bellamy would want time away from her, but not why she would want time away from him. Based on what I've seen, he's the lesser of two evils.

She didn't say another thing and before I could even stop her, she started taking off her clothes.

Shows what kind of women she is...

Monty tried to look away and Jasper looked like he was so in shock of seeing an actual half naked girl that he couldn't. Finn wasn't shocked at her sudden unclothing and instead smiled at her confidence.

Is no one going to stop her?

"Octavia don't go in there. Anything could be living in there. The water may be radiated." She groaned from my sudden protectiveness. "Stop being like my brother and have fun!" She flashed a smile towards Finn before running and jumping off the cliff into the water.

I ran towards the edge as a splash of water came towards us.

I can't go back to camp with the dead sister of Bellamy. Then he would actually have a reason to use that gun on me.

I held my breath as there were a few seconds of silence and barely any ripples in the water. But then she came up in an overdramatic whip of her hair like it was planned.

Water was dripping out of her hair and there was no sign of any immediate dangers... But something still didn't feel quite right.

"Lighten up princess. We could at least have some fun bef-" Suddenly Finn's voice was drowned out by a scream. A very girly and a very scared scream. We knew who it was right away.

"OCTAVIA!" I yelled as I saw Octavia struggling in the water like she was being dragged down. I was about to jump in, but an arm held me back.

I saw Finn flash me a determined look before going in after her like the hero he wanted to seem like.

I held my arm out in front of Monty and Jasper ,who were frozen in place, from falling in. Not like they would but this is the best I can do right now.

I didn't have to worry about them though as they slowly started to back up when they realized what was happening.

We all watched as Finn kicked something under the water while holding onto Octavia. Almost as soon as he started kicking, Octavia was free and they swam as fast as they could to a flat sandy area close to them.

I didn't hesitate before running down there to meet up with them.

I stood as close to the water as I could as I held out my hand. Octavia grabbed onto it and I helped Finn set her down on the dry ground. I saw a fair amount of blood seep in the beige sand as Octavia tried to cough out the water.

"What was that?" I kneeled down to look at Octavia's wound. It looked like a giant bite mark. This definitely wasn't just a fish.

"It had to have been a monster. I've never seen anything like that. We have to go back to warn the others." Finn was trying to catch his breath as he smoothed his soggy hair back.

I didn't want to give up on the hunt for food but Octavia's leg wasn't going to last any longer on foot and we couldn't just separate. I nodded at his statement and stood up.

"Let's go back." I ordered as Finn and Jasper were already by Octavia's side trying to help her up. I saw a glimpse of Monty to see him sadly staring at the boys holding Octavia.

Did he want Octavia all to himself or something?

What is with this girl and all these boys kneeling at her feet.

We started to walk back with me at the front, the three in the middle, and Monty in the back sulking.

Here we were heading back...

With no food.


	6. No Food. Another Trip.

** BELLAMY **

I opened my eyes to the sun pouring its beam on me. I slowly moved my legs to the side of the log I was sleeping on so that I could sit up. After rubbing my eyes, I see people coming out of the drop ship with the same sleepy and hangover feeling I have.

Maybe I should have slept in there. Not that this log wasn't super comfortable but it wasn't.

I scratch my head before spreading out my arms in a yawn.

Wait. Where's Octavia?

I quickly get up out of worry but the rush must have jump started my brain because I now remember where she would be. Where she should be.

I look over to the campfire close to me, seeing her sleeping. Her arms are under her like a pillow and a blanket is beside her. I can see goosebumps on her skin. She must be freezing.

She deserves it after the stunt she pulled yesterday.

==============

I was sitting by the fire, my leg jumping up and down out of anger and worry.

I hear a rustle and glance over, immediately getting up, as I see Clarke and Octavia coming out of the darkness in the forest. I rush over, feeling fumes coming out of my head.

"WHAT THE HELL CLARKE!" She sees me and just rolls her eyes. "What Bellamy?" I gesture over to my sister. "You took my sister without telling me?! Who do you think you are!" She takes a deep breath, like she's ready to start yelling.

Join the party.

"Bellamy it's not her fault. I-"

"OCTAVIA SHUT IT AND GO INTO THE DROP SHIP NOW. I'll get to you later."

Octavia stands there staring and then lets out an annoying sigh before she starts to walk away. No limp away. "Wait wait. What the hell happened Octavia." She looks at Clarke. "She got hurt which is why we came back. Bellamy there's something dangerous in the water." Clarke says but all I feel is anger towards her.

My logic to be a caring leader went out the window.

"Something dangerous? Who cares? There's always going to be something dangerous. She has a small sprain. She can walk."

"She couldn't before. She was bleeding. We couldn't move forward with her injured."

"Then why did you take her in the first place?"

"You think I wanted to? She didn't give me much of a choice. We needed the help."

"With the food? Which is where?" I look over to the three guys behind Clarke who are all hands free. Jasper and Monty are looking away while Finn is staring straight on acting all tough with his arms crossed.

How cute.

Clarke looked annoyed but she couldn't have been as much as me. "You think this is some game? We're out in the real world now and without food now thanks to you. You proud of killing us all?" I can see her trying to keep calm and not explode.

She didn't flinch. She just glared.

"Well we wouldn't be in this mess if we had started for Mount Weather. But you'd rather us die than get there." I was the one that felt like rolling my eyes this time. "You said there was a radiation soaked forest between us and Mount Weather. How do you suppose we get there safely." She clenched her jaw.

"We would have figured it out if you had stayed to help us yesterday. But you had your very important party to get back to." She finally looked like she was done. "You know what. I'm not gonna do this. If we had started coming up with a plan instead of partying we would have probably come up with an idea by now. But the so called leader doesn't want his people to get to safety does he?!" I didn't say anything as I just stared into her eyes.

I tried to find the words but none would come. I tried to stand strong and not let anyone see I was at a loss of words.

"I'm leaving..." She didn't take another second before walking past e to head towards the drop ship. "YOU GUYS ARE GOING HUNTING AND FOR FOOD THIS TIME! TOMORROW!" I yelled at her back and she just raised up a hand as she kept walking.

"CAN'T WAIT! She screamed before walking into the drop ship.

Ugh. She gets on my nerves.

I looked over to Octavia who was just standing next to me, watching the scene that played out.

"Your staying here tomorrow. Right in my sight. If you even try to run away I'll tell Finn all those embarrassing stories about you." She had a hint of fear on her face before groaning and walking over to the fire.

Sometimes I love being a sibling.

Other times...

===============

I groaned at how I reacted. I'm a bad guy aren't I?

I'm just trying to figure out this leader thing and be a brother at the same time and it's so hard. Especially with Clarke trying to undermine me.

I picked up the blanket and draped it over Octavia's body.

"Don't hate me please."

I took a deep breath as I straightened back up. Something caught my eye and I darted my eyes over to see Wells and Atom talking about a mile away from me.

Why didn't Wells on the hunting trip? He was the only one who actually caught something yesterday.

============

As I was peeking through the forest in search of any immediate danger to the camp, I saw Wells spear at something deeper in the woods.

Wasn't he with the group?

I walked closer and closer until I was close enough to see him hold up the spear with a good sized creature on the end of it. He seemed like he didn't want to touch the thing that was bleeding on the other end of it.

Royals...

"Hey Wells, right?" He looked up at me with wide eyes, almost dropping the animal that would probably be our dinner. "Didn't you go with the hunting group?" He nodded. "Yea. But I went off on my own. Needed some air away from Finn trying to flirt with Clarke an-" I raised my hand up.

"Don't need the gory details. You did better than them." I held my hand out as nicely as I could. "I'll take care of that." I tried to smile but he looked at me weird. "Thanks?" He handed me the spear and I nodded towards him.

"Don't you hate me? Why are you acting nice?" I shrugged. "I hate the way you lived. Everything done for you. I don't know you enough to hate you. But I have a little more respect for you now." I held up the spear.

"At least you're trying to help."

He still seemed a bit wary of me. But why shouldn't he be.

I have been an enemy of his best friend since we got down here.

==========

At least we got some food. Even if it was a small amount.

Getting closer I see Atom looking kind of aggressive. I might as well help Wells since he did something for us last night.

As I kept walking, I started to hear more of the conversation and saw Wells had some clothes in his hand.

"Hey where did you get those clothes?" Atom asked with a bit too much interest for my taste. Wells tried to back away as Atom took a step closer. "Buried the two kids who died during the landing." Wells glanced down at the clothes, pulling them closer to his chest.

"Smart." Atom nodded his head. "You know what? I'll take it from here." Atom tried to act like a nice guy but I knew it was just an act. Atom's hand headed towards the clothes but Wells twisted his body a bit so he couldn't get to them.

"There's always a market for-" Wells started but was interrupted.

"We share based on need. Just like back home. Remember?" Wells squinted his eyes in confusion. "You don't get it do you chancellor?" He said mockingly like he was trying to get Wells riled up.

"Your father's rules don't apply here. This is our home now." He spread his arms out, trying to show the world. Atom then in a quick swoop, took the stuff out of Wells hands.

"Hold up Atom." Wells tried to become a bit more aggressive but I could see it wasn't in his blood. "You want it back? Take it back." Atom teasingly smiled and held out the clothes.

"GET THOSE BOOTS!" A random crowd member yelled.

"Is this what you want? Chaos?" Wells was starting to look a bit more scared.

Murphy came up out of nowhere with some girl squirming in his arms. He came up to Atom and Wells with a smile. Ok now even I can tell things are going too far.

"What's wrong with a little chaos?" The girl was struggling to get out of his arms but Murphy's arm was squeezing at her neck, making it impossible for her escape. Wells had a look of shock on his face.

I need to do something.

He kicked her so that she would move and walked closer to me, finally seeing that I was standing there.

"Bellamy check it out. We want the Ark to think that we're dying down here right?" Wouldn't it be better if we suffered a bit first?" I felt a lump in my throat. I knew this was wrong. I really didn't want to hurt anyone. But we need the Ark to think we're dying so they won't come down here.

So that they won't catch me.

I know it's selfish. It makes me sick even to think this way.

** WELLS **

Don't do this Murphy. Come on. Even if you are a dick I know your better than this. You have to have some humanity left.

Show it so my brain show can live on.

"LET HER GO MURPHY! YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS! YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE THIS PERSON FOR THEM!" I yelled and Murphy was surprised by my outburst. I saw a look of confusion and then when I caught his eyes... I could tell he was lost. Trying to find his way.

This was the wrong way.

He looked down at the girl and I saw his arm start to loosen up as realization came to his face. She was starting to breathe better...

"Stop this? We're just getting started." Atom creepily smiled and at the sound of Atom's voice, Murphy tightened his hold on her again. Smiling.

Maybe there is no humanity left in him...

A human wouldn't do this.

**CLARKE**

Why is it that I'm always the one being tortured down here. First I have to reunite with an old friend which is great but he was the reason my dad was killed. Second I have to be next to Bellamy who is a huge pain in the ass. Don't even get me started on his sister.

Then the final hammer of the nail.

This guy.

"So Princess I was thinking we could go on a picnic some time. There's bound to be some beautiful cliffs around here." I try to ignore him. I look over to Jasper and Monty who are nerding out about the evolved flowers and different bugs their finding.

Their kind of cute to be honest. Like little kids who are too pure for this world.

Any kid is too pure for this world now.

"Oh maybe I could whip up some moonshine from Monty for us to make a toast. How about it Princess?" His voice is so excited I kind of want to stab him with this knife. "How about you do that with Octavia and never talk about it again." Wrong thing to say. I see his smirk already.

"Awww are you jealous? Don't worry I wouldn't even think about being with her. I'm a one woman type of guy." I rolled my eyes, wandering my sight away from him.

"You wish."

Suddenly there's rustling. Everyone stops.

And then a yell.


	7. A Trip Gone Wrong

**BELLAMY**

I felt disgusted at Atom's words.

Wells looked at me with a face saying I could stop this. And I could. But at what cost.

Suddenly the 100 started yelling for us to fight.

Fight who?

They just wanted a fight?

What is wrong with these people?

I know all of this is wrong. But if I want to be their leader and be respected by them I need to agree with them. They are prisoners after all... I knew what they did would be bad.

"Don't you see you can't control this?" Wells was looking around at the people yelling. I guess Atom didn't like that very much as he had a snarl forming on his face.

"Your dead!" His snarl turned into a smile as he started walking closer to Wells. Wells tried walking backwards and was still slightly limping from his sprained leg.

I have to agree with them.

But I can still help right? Can't have a rabid dog sent after an innocent bystander.

"WAIT!" I yelled and everyone stopped. All the yelling stopped. Atom stopped. Murphy even dropped the girl who then took her chance and ran away into the forest.

At least I know I have some leverage.

"Fair fight." I grabbed a weapon from nearby on the ground and walked up to Wells. Then as I handed him the weapon, I enclosed on his ear.

"Good luck." I whispered and moved away flashing a quick smile before he took the weapon.

He looked at me confused and then disappointed for not stopping the fight probably. I walked away from both of them, hoping this wouldn't turn into a blood bath.

In a flash, Atom ran up to Wells. "THIS IS FOR MY FATHER!" He yelled as he surprised everyone and punched Wells, causing Wells to drop onto the ground. The weapon falling from his hands on impact.

Fuck.

Wells, without a weapon, grabbed onto Atom and flipped him over with his upper body strength. It ended up being a wrestle as Atom wasn't going down without a fight. But then Wells eventually got on top, starting to punch the shit out of Atom.

I didn't like Atom anyways.

I wanted to cheer, but I had to remain neutral.

I was actually impressed Wells had it in him.

Then suddenly as if before I could even move, a blonde swish of hair ran into the fight and ruined everything. "WELLS LET HIM GO!" As Wells stopped and saw Atom with a bloody face and bruises, he got up doing exactly what the princess wanted.

She glared over at me as if it was my fault. Well I didn't stop it. Gotta let their energy out somehow.

He only had a few cuts and a bruised eye. Nothing too severe.

Atom was the one that really got the bad end of it.

I looked over at my sister who was standing alone. I rushed to her side. "Where's the food?" I scanned around hoping to god that the guys had it wherever the hell they were.

"They didn't make it to Mount Weather."

Of course...

"Why what happened? Did Clarke stop the mission again?" I groaned. That girl.

"No. They said they got attacked." I widened my eyes.

Where was the rest of the group?

"What were they attacked by? Did they say? A bear?" I saw her gulp as her face was pale. What did they say it was? "Not a what. A who." A voice interrupted and I looked over to see Finn.

"It turns out when the last man on the ground died on the Ark. He wasn't actually the last grounder." I narrowed my eyes, confused.

That's impossible.

"It's true." The girl of the hour finally appeared. "Everything we thought about the ground was wrong." She seemed a bit frightened which caught me off guard because I'd never seen her actually scared.

"Where's Monty?" She stared down. No not the moonshine creator. "Goggles?" She finally glanced up at me with pain. "Jasper was hit. The grounders took him. Monty's obviously not taking it well." I couldn't believe it. We weren't the only ones down here and now one of our people is probably dead.

"Wait..." Clarke gained my attention again. "Where's their wristbands?" I could see her staring around at the group behind me. She already looked stressed out and now she was gonna take it out on me.

"Ask him." I nodded towards Murphy who was now staring me down for putting him on the spot.

Sorry not sorry dude.

Clarke turned to Murphy as he smirked. He regained his posture."How many Murphy?" He kept his smile on for a while, pretending to think about it. He's trying to make her mad.

Madder than she already was.

"Well... Princess. Why fret on numbers when you could join in and stop being such a strict bitch." Her nose flared and I widened my eyes. He's getting too confident now. This was not a good idea for him.

He's gonna end up getting all of us in trouble.

"HOW MANY!?" Her voice deepened as it got louder. He achemed leaning in a bit towards her. She didn't move.

Everyone got silent.

"24 and counting." I could see her already fuming as he whispered.

She turned towards me but she was meaning to turn to the crowd that was behind me.

"YOU IDIOTS!" She yelled as loud as she could trying to look at everyone. I knew she was going to get mad but her sudden outburst surprised me. I would have jumped if I wasn't so ready for everything.

"Support on the Ark is failing. That's why we were sent down here to the ground. To know if it was survivable again. And we need their help against whoever is out there." As she started her lecture, I could hear some of the crowd whispering to each other.

"The Ark is failing?"

"Wait what?"

"If you take off your wristbands your not just killing them. Your killing us!" She stared us down and I looked away from her eyes. I knew she had a point. But if they come down, then I'll be executed and no one would be able to protect O.

Things were starting to get out of hand. They were actually listening to her. I had to stop her from ruining everything.

"WE'RE STRONGER THAN YOU THINK!" I yelled out as I turned my back to the princess. I faced the crowd who were having doubts. "Don't listen to her. She's one of the privileged. She's not to be trusted." I glanced back at her but before she could say anything, I continued.

"She'll have it good if they come down! How many of you can say the same?! We can take care of ourselves! That wristband on your arm makes you a prisoner. WE ARE NOT PRISONERS! THEY SAY THEY'LL FORGIVE YOU FOR YOUR CRIMES. I SAY YOUR NOT CRIMINALS. YOUR FIGHTERS!" They were now looking at each other. Some started to punch others in the arm in an attempt to get them riled up.

I did it.

Maybe this leader thing could be easier than I thought.

"SURVIVORS! THE GROUNDERS SHOULD WORRY ABOUT US!" I started to get carried away as my voice got louder until it could be heard from everywhere. Birds flew out of trees in terror.

As everyone started cheering, I smiled.

I did good.

There may be hope for me yet.

** CLARKE **

Bellamy. THAT ASS!

I groan as I see he as a smile on his face that would brighten up one of his followers days. It just fills me up with rage. Then he has the guts to glance at me and look down on me. Even smirk that flirtatious smile to spite me.

"What do we do now?" Finn asks as it seems like we're down on our luck. I look at Bellamy who's having the time of his life. Like he's ready to celebrate again after only one day.

Even if someone might be dead.

"Now. We go after Jasper." I say with determination. I peek over at Finn who doesn't say anything and just nods. Maybe he's not as bad as he seems. At least he listens and he has supported me.

I go over to Wells ,who's staring at the group, as he leans on the dropship. "Me and Finn are going to save Jasper." I know I'm about to get a disagreement out of him. "You two.. Alone? You'll get eaten alive out there!" Knowing he's worried, I let the fact that he yelled at me go.

"I'm going with you."

"No Wells. Your still injured and your the only other medic here. We can do this. So please don't fight me on this." I stare into his dark eyes which aren't backing down. If I could do a puppy dog face without breaking this would be the time.

"I'm not a good enough medic." I shake my head. "That's not true. Your the best here after me. Please Wells." I try to widen my eyes and give him my best sad face.

He finally sighs before looking away.

"What about Monty? He'll want to go. It's his best friend Clarke." He says, holding onto hope. "That's exactly why he can't know we're going. He's already broken down by seeing Jasper get shot and taken away. What if Jasper's dead? We can't risk Monty right now. He would definitely untangle." He sighs once again.

"Fine. But please be safe. And not the safe you think is safe. The safe I think is safe. Actual safe. And if there's any danger. Run." I smile, patting his shoulder. "I will." I pull him into a hug. I feel my smile drop as I close my eyes and tighten my hold on him for a quick second.

I know he knows I won't run. I've always been too determined for my own good.

I move away, putting a smile back on my face to make him feel better.

With Finn following me and one more smile towards Wells, I head over to Bellamy who has Octavia by his side. He has a drink in his hand. Was only a matter of time.

Probably from the leftover stash. Monty has no energy to make drinks right now, even if Bellamy ordered him to.

Which I doubt he would be that much of a terrible person to do.

But lately I don't know.

"Bellamy I have to go. I can't stay here doing nothing just because of a hurt ankle." Octavia says but before Bellamy can get mad and start a fight, I come up to them.

"I think it would be better if you didn't go Octavia. We can't risk it." He turns at the sound of my voice. He has a glare on his face but he quickly switches it to a smile.

"Oh Princess. Finally something we agree on comes out of your mouth." He's walking on very thin ice right now. I'm pretty sure he knows it. Which is making the ice even thinner.

But since I need him, I can't start a fight right now.

"Hey you don't call her princess. That's my thing." Bellamy just ignores Finns comment as do I. Bellamy could take Finn on honestly.

"I'm here for you." He raises up an eyebrow and I roll my eyes. "I hear you have a gun. As you so stupidly flaunted towards me." He lifts his shirt up a bit to show a gun between his skin and pants. Putting his shirt back down a few seconds later.

"Good. Follow me." I start walking away, hoping he'll follow. He's been in a rebellious mood lately though. I should have known better.

"Why would I do that princess?" I see Finn glare and Bellamy smile. He did that on purpose. Clever.

I turn to him.

Walking closer, He stares me down but doesn't move away. "Because you want them to follow you and right now. They're thinking only one of us is scared." I whisper towards his neck, being that I'm short.

He looks out at the group of people celebrating and holds out an arm for me to continue. Of course that would get him.

His one weakness is not wanting to seem weak.

"Murphy, come with me." As we walk by Atom and Murphy, Bellamy calls one of them out. More people more survival I guess. Just wish it wasn't Murphy coming. Being that Atom tried to kill Wells though, Murphy is the better choice.

"Atom watch my sister. She doesn't leave camp. Got it?" Bellamy puts on his oh so scary voice. He has a deadly look in his eyes. Atom nods, clearly scared.

He already got beat today. He doesn't need another reason to.

That's one way to have followers do your work.

I just don't know why everyone is so scared of him. He's just a guy.

** BELLAMY **

O suddenly appears in front of me. Her whole face is angry.

"I don't need a babysitter." She spits at me as if I'm the bad guy. I'm just trying to protect her and she might not like that but I don't care.

I turn to Atom. "Anybody who touches her goes through me." He nods, trying to avoid eye contact.

I follow the group I have been forced to join. Containing Clarke, the princess who annoys the shit out of me and Finn, the space walker who I could care less about. Murphy's just the guy I least hate in this whole ship full of people.

Even if he goes too far at times.

"Let's go." I say to the group as I quickly walk up to the front. I hear a mumble from Clarke. I stop and she does too as she's behind me. "What was that?" I try to be more dominant.

"I said your not the leader. Even in this tiny group." She stands straighter. I'm a bit taken aback as no one except her has tried to stand up to me. Even when I have the whole macho look going on she won't quit saying what she really things.

She's weird.

"Whatever. Let's just go." I let her words slide off my back as I don't know how to respond.

Not like I can fight her.


	8. Broken

** MONTY **

I feel empty.

What do I do.

A part of me's missing and I can't get it back.

I just keep hearing his screams. The blood. The spear.

============

"Oh my Jasper look at this one. It looks like a caterpillar. You know those furry things in the book?" Jasper kneels down next to me. As I hold up the animal in my hand, it crawls across my fingers. The legs feel like tiny tickles.

"It's so cute. It doesn't look mutated. That's strange." I see his smile widen as he touches the tiny fluff on it's back. He seems so happy to have the distraction. I know how upset he's been about all the fights.

"You know. Maybe we could bring it back to camp and it could be like our little pet." He looks up at me with hope in his eyes. "Yeah? You think we could?" I look around trying to be secret. Clarke is busy rejecting Finn's advances.

"Not like they can stop us." I slide him into my coat pocket. "You guys ready to continue? We've got to find food before night." Clarke announces to us. Jasper gives me a smile before standing up.

We walk behind the two.

"You know I read that it should cocoon in a few days. Wouldn't that be so cool. Maybe it'll mutate into a really cool butterfly." Jasper starts getting excited and I let out a tiny laugh. "MULTIPLE WINGS AND HEADS!" He suddenly yells out, causing Clarke and Finn to look back at us with suspicion.

We snicker to ourselves.

"We should give him a name." I glance at Jasper with his thinking face on. "How about something funny? Like godzilla. OOOO OO MOTHRA. Please can we name him Mothra." He slaps his hands together and tries his hardest to kneel without putting his knees on the ground to beg.

"He's not a moth though." Jasper waves his hand. "Whatever. It's a cool name. Come on." I pretend to think it over, looking away. "Please please please please." He keeps pleading and I look at him again.

"Fine." Jasper jumps up in the air saying yes over and over again.

"Now we're parents." He keeps staring forward with a skip in his step.

"Parents." I like the sound of that.

Suddenly we all stop as rustling appears around us. Bushes are everywhere and nothing is seen in sight. Wait. I think I see a shadow.

"MONTY WATCH OUT!" It's too late before I see the spear coming towards me. I close my eyes ready for impact.

A thud.

A group of people start coming towards us and Clarke and Finn push me to leave. I start to go thinking Jasper's right beside me but something doesn't feel right. We're already away from the clear space when I see his body on the ground.

A spear is lodged in his chest. His eyes are tightly shut. Blood is seeping from his back down into the dirt.

"JASPER!" Is all I can yell before being dragged away frozen in fear.

But not for myself.

============

I feel my body being shaken and I open my eyes to see Wells staring at me.

"Monty are you ok?" I look at him for a moment before eyeing the ground, answering his question. "I'm sorry Monty. I didn't mean to-" I glance back up quickly.

"When are we going to save him? Clarke said we were going to find him." He keeps his eyes on me but he can't seem to get any words out. He suddenly looks away and sits down next to me.

"Look Monty. Your very close to Jasper and-"

"Yes I am. You better not be telling me you believe he's dead. I know he's not. I can feel he's not. So don't." I see him eye my hands that are grasping onto the edge of my seat. I loosen my grip, realizing.

"No. I would never say that." He pauses for a moment. "I might as well just tell you. Monty they left." I sprint up out of my seat. "What?! Without me?!" I try to rush out of the drop ship, hoping to catch up with them, but Wells grabs onto my wrist.

"Clarke thought this would be best. Their already minutes away. I'm really sorry Monty I told her to take you." I pull my hand away from his grip.

"You would have most likely gotten yourself killed. You had to stay here."

I furrow my eyebrows in confusion and anger.

"I don't care. I should have died. He should be here not me."

"What are you talking about?"

I look away.

"Nothing. Can you just leave me alone. I need to think."

** BELLAMY **

We've been walking for about 20 minutes with Clarke and Finn in the front. Like their the leaders. I'm in the back with Murphy.

"Since when are we in the rescuing business?" Murphy kicks some dirt up, interrupting the silence. I give him a smirk.

"The Ark thinks the prince is dead. Once they think the princess is too, they'll never come down." He looks at me like what I'm saying is baloney. "She'll never trust you." I glance at her up in the front. He is right.

She hates me so much it could make her sick.

"I'm getting her wristband off even if I have to cut off her hand to do it." I whispered and I saw a smirk form on his lips. Have to appeal to my audience even if I have to tell complete lies.

I stopped and she must have noticed because she turned around. "Why did you stop?" She sighed annoyed like I was about to spew out some nonsense.

"Once you take off the wristband. We can go." I put on a smile and she scoffed as she started to walk closer.

Close enough to kiss me if she wanted. Which she probably does.

I held my head up a bit more, not wanting that horrifying scene to happen.

"The only way the Ark is going to think I'm dead if if I'm dead. Got it?" She whispered. I leaned down a bit more, making sure I was far enough away not to kiss her but close enough to seem confident.

"Brave Princess." The smirk on my face got wider. Finn didn't hear this one. I like to annoy him but I love to annoy her even more. She rolled her eyes, whipping back around to continue walking.

"Told you." Murphy says with a cocky tone as he starts walking past me.

Just wait.

** MONTY **

The caterpillar, newly named Mothra, walks across my skin as I flip my hand around to suit his balance.

"How are you going to grow up without a dad?" I pet his back slowly with my finger as Jasper had done before. "He has to be alive." I feel tears grow at my eyes as I remember the brightness of Jasper's smile.

The smile that could be the last I've ever seen.

I let my head fall lower.

"He has to be alive..."

=============

"THE CELLS ARE BEING INVESTIGATED! EVERYONE OUT INTO THE COMMONS!" A guard yells as another rough one pushes me out of my cell. I follow his lead unwillingly as he grabs onto my handcuffs and just starts pulling.

Getting arrested for stealing herbs. Stupidest reason ever.

And now we're being forced out for some stupid roach getting out of the lab.

The crowds start to grow in the commons as more and more prisoners are pushed into each other. I get bounced from my spot as a big guy bumps into me and I'm pushed into someone else. Who almost falls over.

"Ack I'm so sor-"

"I'm sorr-"

We both stop as see each other faces.

"JASPER!"

"MONTY!"

"QUIET DOWN NO TALKING ALLOWED OR YOU GET TASED!"

We stare at each other and achem.

Well I don't want to get tased.

I try to go in for a hug but our chains knock against each other.

"Chest bump." He whispers. I nod in agreement.

"Chest bump."

We back up as far as we can which isn't alot and then rush into each other. It ends up going bad somehow because we both end up almost toppling over. The crowd saves us from falling onto the ground and being trampled over.

We start laughing and I hit him in the arm signaling him to quiet down.

One week is too damn long to be apart.

Sooner than we thought, we're forced to separate again as they've finished their searching. Must have found nothing because their being more violent than usual.

"HIT YOU LATER!" Jasper yells as he gets dragged away. I flash him a smile. I willingly leave this time, watching Jasper to see where his cell is. I won't lose him again.

I start to count the cells and he enters cell 5 on the other side of my row.

WE WERE SO CLOSE ALL THIS TIME!

I enter cell 6 in my row.

Once the guard is out of my sight, I pick up a tiny pebble and throw it at cell 5 from my tiny open window. I hope I didn't count wrong.

I don't see him come up. I sigh and go to sit down but a head pops up out of nowhere.

I start waving my hand and poke my finger out.

He catches my eyes.

He gestures hey you nerd in our secret hand language.

I knew making our own language when we were younger would come in handy.

Something tells me this is gonna be fun.

================

I never did lose him again after that...

Until now.

** BELLAMY **

It's been an hour and still no sign of Jasper.

I hate walking.

All of a sudden I hear a low moan in the silence. I look at Clarke stopping and she looks at me with equal interest. It doesn't take her long until she starts running to the noise up ahead deeper in the woods.

We reach an open space with no trees and brown dry grass surrounding us in a circle.

My eyes stop on the one tree in the middle of the area that has no leaves whatsoever on it but there is one branch. With a bloody Jasper tied to it.

I freeze at the horrific scene.

He has green stuff covering the hole that I'm guessing the spear went through.

"JASPER!" Clarke doesn't take another moment before jumping into acting and running to our group member.

But suddenly she disappears as if she was never there.

A dread spreads over my body.

** CLARKE **

I'm running to Jasper when I feel the ground under me fall.

All I can do is wait for my death but as if instantaneously I feel hands grab onto my wrist.

I open my eyes, seeing Bellamy above me breathing heavily. He's holding onto my wrist as tightly as he can.

He had to have ran to save me... But why?

I feel my wrist start to grow hotter as we stare deeply into each others eyes. Both scared just the same.

I don't know if he was scared of my close call with death but I couldn't deny he was scared.

I've never seen this side of him before. This vulnerability.

This was the real Bellamy, the caring Bellamy.

I feel as if the world has stopped.

But a voice pushes us back to reality.

"PULL HER UP!" An angry Finn yells, running over.

Did he think Bellamy was going to drop me? What if he was going to?

In a rush, I feel my whole body colliding with the air and soon I'm back on the ground. Safe.

I can hear Bellamy breathing beside me in deep breaths and not looking at me as I sit up. He's on his knees, his eyes showing how much his brain is spinning as he stares at the ground.

"Are you alright?" Finn kneels next to me with worry on his face. "Yeah..." I can feel myself being distracted but I quickly regain myself.

"Yeah I'm fine." I achem and I take his hand before he pulls me up.

I dust off my pants and take a deep breath.

I almost died...

I glance over at Bellamy.

And that ass saved me.

Jasper...

I snap back to the mission.

"JASPER!" I see him barely conscious up on the tree. Dry blood is all over him but the only thing that's oozing out of him is some green stuff covering his wound.

How can he be alive? I had hope but in all reality I thought he would be dead.

A spear went right through this chest.

"Finn. Use your knife to cut him down." Finn nods flipping a switch blade out of his pocket. He quickly starts to climb up the tree.

At least it's not a long climb.

Then a distant growling comes out from inside the jungle surrounding us. I dart my eyes over to Bellamy, who gets up from the noise.

We all make sure to stay still and quiet.

A black object suddenly pounces onto the ground in front of me, staring at me with yellow eyes of warning. A panther. It's about as big, if not bigger, than I am as it starts to growl at my presence.

My breaths start to grow shallower.

I know my hands won't save me but I hold them up, trying to protect myself. I slowly start to walk backward but a vicious growl as if it's about to pounce again stops me.

Everything begins to move in a fast paced motion as the black panther jumps up and comes right towards me. I close my eyes, waiting to succumb to death once again.

A shot rings out.

My ears are vibrating as I open my eyes and see that I'm still alive. I pat my body down. How?

The panther is still in front of me, but this time it's on the ground bleeding out with a hole it's chest.

I look over towards the source of the shot and see Bellamy. He's still aiming his gun up but he's shaking a little bit.

He saved me yet again.

Once he sees me staring, he puts his gun into his back pocket.

\---------------

As we start walking back I can't help but stare at how happy Bellamy is as he holds the panther up with the help of Murphy. They finally got their big dinner they've always wanted.

Now they can eat like kings their probably thinking.

And they call me royal.

Then I glance over and Finn and my eyes stop on Jasper across his shoulder. He hasn't moved at all since we saved him and honestly I'm becoming scared.

If he dies, Monty will have to see him die anyways and there would be no point in not bringing him.

If he dies, who will make me laugh with terrible jokes?

He can't die.

Not on my watch.

He's one of us.

** MONTY **

I stare blankly at a wall, feeling Mothra crawling over my shoulder.

The only thing I feel except guilt.

I hear clacking and soon there's a head peeping out of the hole in the ground. "Hey." I see Well's trying to put on his happiest smile for me. It doesn't work.

He sits beside me on the metal bench and goes to put his hand on my shoulder but moves away with a shock. "You know there's some type of bug on you right?" I glance at Mothra and smile.

"His names Mothra. I found him in the woods with..." My stomach suddenly drops and I can't even make out his name.

"He's cute. I always liked the Godzilla franchise. Probably one of the best movies from the time on Earth."

"Yeah he thought so too."

I can feel the air grow tense as Wells tries to choose his words carefully.

"Look Monty. I know you probably think this whole thing is your fault-"

"It is. I was supposed to get shot with that spear. And now he's probably dead because I didn't." A sliver of water drops down my cheek and I quickly wipe it away. I sniffle before taking a deep breath, trying to calm down.

"He was the one who decided to save you Monty and regretting that won't help anything. He wouldn't want this. If he did die and you regretted living then that would just be a giant slap to his sacrifice." He put a hand on my back.

I slumped over, knowing he was right.

But it was so much easier to feel guilt. Then I wouldn't have to feel the pain of losing my best friend as much.

"He was a hero, Monty."

I felt my lip quiver.

"Now we just have to hope he's still alive so that you can tell him that."

I nodded, trying not to look at him.

"I will."


	9. Unexpected Allies

** CLARKE **

We finally made it back to camp and multiple people started swarming up around us once they saw Jasper.

He made quite an impact.

"Is he...?" One of the boys asked and I shook my head. "He's alive. For now."

I saw Octavia staring at the scene and the depressed look on her face as she stared at Jasper's wound.

"Octavia I need you to get me boiled water and strips of cloth right now."

She didn't put up a fight and instead ran off to get the supplies.

"JASPER!" I suddenly heard the voice I'd dreaded hearing all the way back here. Monty comes out of the dropship with worry masking his face. Wells is behind him, obviously shaken up by seeing the state Jaspers in.

Monty rushes over to Jasper as Finn holds up Jasper with his arm under Jasper's shoulder.

He stares at Jasper and goes to touch him but moves away at the last second.

"Monty?"

I go to touch his shoulder but he moves away. "You went without me." I can hear the anger in his voice. Something I didn't think I'd ever hear from him. I go to speak but I close my mouth just as quick as I opened it.

He finally turns to face me.

"He could have died on the way and you left without me!" A side of him I'd never seen before comes out and I stare at him with wide eyes.

"I'm sorry Monty. I just didn't want you to hurt any worse." I soften my eyes but Monty just stares at Jasper's still face.

"How about we just have some space between you two right now. Monty you can come with me to put Jasper in the drop ship." Monty nods almost instantly once Finn suggests the idea.

I close my eyes for a quick second, feeling terrible.

I had good intentions. But I should have brought him.

As if on cue I hear excited cheering over at the fire as Bellamy shows off his prized kill.

I try to hate him. I try to see the arrogant Bellamy I grew to hate but all I can see now is the look of fear on his face when I almost died.

"Your safe." Wells comes up to me with a sigh of relief. I run into his arms.

"Yeah I'm safe." I whisper as he wraps his arms around me. The chill wind seems to warm up as he hugs me.

At least one person's happy to see me.

"Let's go get some food. I even saw the kill." I said with a hint of proudness. Trying to not let him in on the fact that I almost died. He doesn't need more to worry about right now.

"Oh really? Well you must be a big shot now having seen the kill and not actually killing it." I glare at him, hearing his sarcasm.

  
"But no. I'm good for now. Maybe later."

"Are you sure?"

"There's someone else that needs your attention right now."

I glance over at the top floor of the drop ship and nod.

"I know."

\---------------

I sneak some food away without Bellamy noticing and calling me out. Which was hard because it seems like that's his only hobby.

I got one for me and one for Monty. He might not like me so much right now but he must be hungry. He needs to eat even if the foods coming from me.

I climb up the ladder inside the drop ship trying not to drop any of the metallic bowls, that were given to us from the ark, I'm carrying. The struggle is real as I put one bowl inside the nook of my arm and the other still in my hand.

Eventually I make it up to the top and put the food on the floor as I jump up.

I see Monty not caring I'm there as he stares at Jasper. As if he'll die if he doesn't.

I pick up the food and walk over before placing the bowls on a metal table near Jasper's medical bed.

"I brought you some food." He nods, not looking towards me at all. I sigh as I place to fingers on the pulse of his wrist. It's a bit slow but now too slow that it should be worrying quite yet.

"Where's Finn?" I look around and see no sign of the spacewalker but I'm sure that's a good thing.

"He needed to help Bellamy with some wood tents or whatever." Monty is varel paying attention to me.

I touch the green gunk on his chest and touch it, feeling the hardness of it.

It's stopping the blood from pouring out of his chest.

But who put it on him? Who made it? It couldn't have been the grounders since they were the ones that speared him in the first place.

"He seems stable for now." I gesture towards the green gunk. "Must be because of this stuff. I'm just confused as to who would save his life."

"It doesn't matter who did it. I'm just grateful that he's alive. So I don't care if it was the grounders or some other force. He's here." He touches Jasper's shoulder and sighs sadly before looking up to me.

"Look Clarke..."

"It's no problem." I look at Jasper. His pale face and skinny exterior. "It's no problem. You had every right to be there. I should have told you." I stare right into Monty's eyes.

"I'm so sorry."

He nods and there's a small smile that comes to his lips.

"Thank you."

But I can still see the sadness in his eyes. The pain in his smile. No amount of acting like everything was okay could make this any better.

"Is there any kind of medicine that you could make to help him somehow?"

"I do know a recipe that could ease his pain one he wakes up. But he got hit by a spear it won't help much."

"Well it can't be any worse than no medicine and feeling it all at once. So why don't you try making it with stuff around camp. I'll help if you want." I offer but he just plasters on a smile as he walks over to the ladder.

"It's just a few things. I should be able to find everything easily." I could see he was far from happy even as his smile got wider. It was like the wider it got, the sadder he became.

"Hey wait Monty."

He turned around and I rushed over. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders.

He didn't hug back for a second.

What did I expect. I'm a stranger and we practically just met.

But I thought he needed the comfort.

He slowly slid his arms from his sides and around me lifelessly. I could feel him start to shake and his skin that was sliding against mine felt cold. Almost freezing.

I could feel his sadness start to radiate into me and It was too much to handle. How can such a physically weak person deal with this. He must have to be pretty strong on the inside.

"Monty. Jasper's gonna be alright. I promise you."

The shaking slowed down after a minute but I knew I didn't make it much better.

"Your not going to lose him."

He gripped onto my shirt a bit more.

Maybe I should just shut up. I can't be making this any better putting those images in his head.

He moves away and starts to rub his arm. His eyes are dry which surprises me. I would be crying my eyes out if I lost my best friend like this. And saw it.

"I want to believe that. I do. But what if he did die?" He averted his eyes and I almost gaped at the question.

"We would be there for you. But I know he will make it. Even though I haven't known him for long I know he's going to pull through. He seems like the determined type."

A slight grin forms and disappears soon after.

"Thanks Clarke. But sometimes I think it would be better if he did just die." I narrow my eyebrows in confusion. This doesn't sound like him.

"Then he wouldn't have to go through all this pain. This world. I would rather be sad for my entire life about losing him than to have him stay here and continue fighting even though he knows the outcome is gonna be death." I stare at him as he moves towards the ladder once again.

He does have a point. But I don't think I could deal with the sadness of losing the one person I have down here for the rest of my life.

I glance over at Jasper and see a black object slithering on him.

"OH MY GO-!" I jump and Monty appears by me.

"What? What's wrong?" I point at the object or creature laying right on Jaspers neck. Monty quickly checks his pocket. "Dammit." He whispers.

"What is that? Don't tell me you got some voodoo crap somewhere."

"No. No. That's my pet. I didn't know how to tell you but." He gestures his hand to the black creature with skinny blue lines across its body.

"His name is Mothra."

"Monty. A pet? We don't know anything about this world and you bring back a pet? What if it has some radiation that we can't handle. We can't handle any radiation!" He looks down, rubbing his arm.

"Please. If something happens to Jasper... He's all I have left of him." His eyes seem to get bigger as he stares at me. I can't handle this level of desperation. I thought Finn was bad.

"Fine." I sigh. "Fine but you have to be careful and if you notice any symptoms. You have to tell us."

He nods quickly.

"Why is he so attached to Jasper anyways?" The tiny creature swirls around on Jaspers neck until it's in a circle on his neck. All comfy.

"He wants to make sure his dad gets better." I hear a whisper come from Monty and turn my head quickly.

"What?"

"What? I don't know it's a caterpillar they're unpredictable. I need to go get those supplies." He seems frazzled as he jumbles down the ladder in a hurry.

Okay then.

** MONTY **

That was a close one. She probably would have thought of me as crazy.

I start to walk towards the light outside but suddenly my chest begins to feel heavy as if in an instant. My heart starts to ache and my eyesight begins to blur. Something slides down my cheek.

I keep in the dark corner as I feel like falling to the ground.

More tears start to fall down my cheeks and some even drop onto the floor into a miniature puddle.

I couldn't break down up there.

I don't feel that comfortable yet. Even if Clarke has been a great person so far if we forget about the part about leaving me behind.

I tried to act tough but. What if he does die?

I don't think I could live on without him.

** CLARKE **

I lightly touch the caterpillars fur and it twitches. I move my hand away.

"I'll win you over." It settles back into its spot on Jasper.

I must be crazy. I'm talking to an animal.

Suddenly screaming. I rush upwards and look at Jasper to see he's not awake but he's sure as hell yelling his lungs out. His eyes are twitching like crazy.

I shake him slightly but there's no answer except the yell.

"Jasper? Jasper... please be quiet." I get closer to his face, hoping a quiet whisper will work more than a louder voice. I don't like to yell unless it's at Bellamy.

How can he yell when he's not even awake?

I rush to Monty's side and grab a rag from the bucket beside Jasper's bed. I wring it out and then fold it a few times before dabbing Jasper's head with it. "Shh.." I wipe the sweat off his forehead and cool it off but he won't stop screaming.

"SHUT HIM UP OR I'LL SHUT HIM UP FOR YOU!" People start to yell all around the drop ship. I didn't know he was that loud. I can't shut him up without suffocating and killing him. I won't even ponder on that option.

Everyone supposedly liked him but now I know they were just fake friends.

This is gonna be a long night.

** BELLAMY **

As soon as I wake up I turn my body over with a groan.

A rock must have been digging into my back all night. I can still feel it. It probably even made an indent.

Just my luck.

We've been down here for two days and we've barely gotten any work done with the tents made out of wood. It was my idea but I didn't think it would be so hard. We had to take some of the drop ship and thick sticks to make axes to even start.

That took a whole day. And since we partied the whole first day that's all we've gotten done.

Since their scared of me it's easy to get them to work but some can be rebellious at times. Just a stern talking to and we're back to work though.

That's not the only thing that's bothering me though.

The constant yelling from the drop ship upstairs doesn't help.

I even had to leave last night since it was keeping me up. But It wasn't much quieter out here with Murphy slurping on some girls neck all night.

I get up quickly and start for the drop ship.

Once I enter everyone is talking and screaming upstairs. Some are clasping their ears shut and trying to keep on sleeping.

I've had enough of this. And obviously so has everyone else. If I have to kill him then it would be way better than having to go through my ears bleeding.

I can feel the anger inside me sizzling up to the top as I climb up the ladder, hearing the screams like I've never heard before. A chill begins to slide down my spine.

Can't she just shut him up.

I should have just dropped her that day if this was the thanks I was going to get. It would have been in everyone's best interest if she had just died. Then we might actually be happy down here.

I know I would be.

As I reach for the last bar to make it up. A thought runs through my head.

If I kill him. She'll hate me. She'll hate me forever.

Why the hell should I care if the princess hates me? Shouldn't I want that?

I jumped up onto the ground and lifted my body up. Immediately I saw Clarke and Monty on different sides of where Jasper was laying. They were trying to comfort him and Monty was holding onto his wrist obviously worried for his friend.

Clarke was wiping the sweat off Jasper's forehead with a wet cloth as slow as she could.

To be honest I had never been up here. I looked around to the medical bed and my eyes wandered over to the counters nearing the corner with a sink poking out of one of them. Such a small space.

I was surprised they hadn't seen or heard me yet but I still started over to them. Then stopped.

"Jasper.. Please..." Clarke desperately whispered to him.

Another yell. This one more painful than the last.

Monty lowered his head to Jasper's ear and his lips moved for a whisper. He had a exhausted and saddening look on his face.

I started to feel a weight in my chest.

"What are you doing up here?" Wells who I didn't see sitting on the floor by the counters got up from the wall, obviously just woken up. Monty sprinted up and Clarke spun around.

I felt my throat start to tighten up.

Clarke came closer, not dropping the rag that had water falling from it in drops. I could see the look of pleading in her eyes that I never thought I would see from her. She tries to put on a tough face by turning her eyes in a glare.

"Have you come to shut him up like all the others want to? They had the fearless leader come do it?" Her hands clench around the rag more, causing it to drop a large amount of water.

"I won't let you."

I know I should do it for appearances but I can't bring the will to fight her.

I glance at Jasper whose face is paler than usual and the light he used to have has vanished.

"No. I came to help."

I feel myself stop for a second, shocked by my own words. She stares with even more shock.

"Can I?" Might as well roll with it.

I can see she doesn't know what to do or say. I mean this is a change. I do hate her and Jasper's screaming makes me want to kill someone...

But I can't.

For some reason I can't.


	10. Path to Forgiveness

** CLARKE **

I can feel the tension in the air. I don't know what to say.

He can't be serious.

But I look at his face to see he's completely serious. No sign of any tricks up his sleeve. No sign of a laugh coming any time soon.

I shouldn't trust him right.

"Seriously? Obviously not." There was Wells with the sense. I needed a sign to turn him away and there it was.

People can't just change like that so I know he can't be doing this out of the kindness of his heart.

If he even has a heart.

Flashes of him grabbing my hand fill my hand just as I'm about to fall fill my head.

I shake my head.

"No. Wells is right. You've done enough."

"What? Help you? Save you?"

He steps a few feet closer.

"No. Threaten me. Almost drop me."

I step closer just as he had done.

I want to believe he can be better. One less enemy. But how can I when it's him.

"I'll just keep guard outside. No funny business. The worst I can do is leave my post."

"Why do you even want to help?"

I see him look behind me.

"Because he's a good guy. I'm not doing this to annoy you or enact my revenge or whatever. He deserves better than to be killed by some annoyed former prisoner." I can see a truth in his eyes. The same pureness I saw when he saved me.

"Plus Monty needs inspiration for his moonshine and if Jasper's dead then we're all screwed." He makes a joke and smiles but I don't feel like laughing right now. He senses that and lowers his smile.

This has to be Monty's decision.

I turn to Monty and he doesn't even seem to be listening as he takes the extra rag from the bucket and tends to Jasper. "Hey Monty. What do you think?" He looks up and around at the room.

"I know this might not be a popular opinion to someone in the room. But we need all the help we can get. So I say yes but it's your final decision Clarke." He flashes a grin and then goes back to serious mode.

"Fine. You can guard."

Bellamy beams. I'm giving him a chance. If he messes up. That's it.

He gets straight to work and climbs down the ladder as quick as you could say stop. Which I'm guessing Wells is about to say.

"WHAT?!"

Ok Maybe I was wrong.

Wells rushes up to me with a steaming expression on. I can feel the heat from here. "Seriously? After everything your letting him protect Jasper." I shake my head.

"I'm letting him guard. He's apparently really good at that." Wells scoffs.

"Faking being a guard doesn't mean he actually knows anything about being a guard. What reason does he even have to protect Jasper. He's just going to let them gather up here to trap us."

I look over to Monty to see he's not listening. We can't have people freaking out about Bellamy not being a guard. That would cause chaos.

"Maybe cool it with the guard stuff and don't worry I'm keeping my guard up." He looks away stressed and I grab onto each side of his arm.

"Your overthinking too much. Think of it like a test. Plus he seemed genuinely concerned for Jasper."

"Of course he has all the girls under his spell."

"Ok I am under no ones spell. "

"Mhm." He gives me that eye and I roll my eyes at him.

"Hey guys if Bellamy turns out to be good that would be even better for us having a strong guy like him on our side. Protect Jasper better." Wells almost looks offended at Monty's suggestion.

"I'm strong."

Monty looks Wells up and down and gives him a fake smile.

I can't help but chuckle.

"Fine. Do whatever you guys want." Wells leaves as fast as he can with his limp. "Wells no your strong. Come on he was just joking." But Wells' head is nowhere to be seen.

"Bulky is not the same as strong."

"You might want to shut that mouth of yours before he comes back and punches you out."

** WELLS **

Has everyone around here gone crazy?

Once I jump down onto the ground I see Bellamy turn his head.

"Hey."

I try not to stare at him too long. I know I have my angry face on.

"Look. I know I said some things up there. But you have to know that I'm just protective over this because I know how much Monty cares about Jasper. And They're both good guys. So I have nothing against you. I just-"

"I know. Don't worry. It's all business."

I nod.

"But if you try anything. Or let anyone in. I'll kill you myself."

He smirked. I let a small smile come out.

"I wouldn't have it any other way."

"Good."

** CLARKE **

I think back to Bellamy's face as he told me he wanted to help. That shock. That desperation to be helpful to a possible friend.

The air starts to feel warm and fuzzy. I don't even feel the freezing cold water in the rag I'm holding. I shake my head and go back over to Jasper.

I drop the rag into the water.

"Are you getting sick?" Monty squints at me.

"Why?"

"Your face is all red." I press the back of my hand to my cheek and feel a high temperature coming off of it.

"I might be. Hm. Weird."

"Well if you are, keep a little bit away from Jasper. He doesn't need any more health problems."

"JUST KILL HIM ALREADY!" A yell is heard from down below. I run over to the hole in the ground and get on my knees to peer down it. I see Bellamy pushing away one of the prisoners who looks agitated.

When the prisoner won't stop struggling. Bellamy knocks him out with one punch.

I almost gape at the scene.

Not bad for the first day. Maybe we can actually trust him for once.

I daze out while staring at him wipe blood off his hand.

"I thought I would feel better with Bellamy protecting Jasper. But whenever I hear those yells to kill him. No one can protect him from that. Or me from that image."

Monty snaps me out of it and I get up to walk back over.

"Don't listen to them. He's gonna be ok." His adams apple moves up and down. "You can't promise that..." His voice starts to sound strained like he's trying to hold back tears.

"The medicines working. Your medicine is working. He is going to be ok. I can't promise but I feel like I'm right." I try to reassure him. But until Jasper's up and walking again I don't think He'll feel better.

No amount of words can top seeing his best friend open his eyes again.

"Clarke. You don't understand. I've known him for a long time. Ever since we were kids."

He moves a piece of hair from Jasper's face.

"He's like a brother to me. Even if we couldn't have siblings on the Ark. He was my brother." He presses his hands into the table as he slugs over a bit and takes a deep breath.

I've never never seen anyone feel so much pain for one person before. I've been through it before with my dad but mom never even cried. She always tried to keep everything in and not show weakness. I felt respect towards her for that but at the same time I felt so mad.

It was like she felt nothing for his death.

Like she wanted it to happen.

Monty's not crying on the outside but I can see he wants to and is on the inside.

As Monty's closing his eyes, trying to regain himself I realize there hasn't been any screaming for a few minutes. Then a gasp fills the room.

I see Monty sprint back up as his eyes fill with a relief that makes me want to smile.

And I do.

** MONTY **

Once I hear a clear gasp of air filling his lungs, I can't help but stand back.

Open your eyes. Open your eyes.

I stare at his face and then see him slowly start to blink.

Jasper looks around in a rush and tries to catch his breath as if he wasn't breathing before. I move closer to him again and once his eyes land on me they stop.

"Hey hey I'm here. Just breathe." I grab onto his hand and bring it up to grasp with both hands. His breathing starts to slow down as his eyes stop moving at a fast pace around me.

Then he shocks me as he clasps his eyes shut and lets out a scream.

He must be feeling the injury now.

His hold tightens around my hands. He starts to jerk around. "Jasper you need to stop freaking out. If you keep doing that you may injure yourself more." I free one hand and start to caress his hair.

"It hurts so much." He lets out in one yell. I caress slower through his sweaty hair. "Look at me. Hey look at me." Through the pain he somehow lands his eyes on me and tries to keep them on me.

"Breathe. Breathe. Breathe with me." I gesture up and then down like an airflow and he starts to do the same with hard breaths. "Your doing great. Just keep breathing." His breaths begin to regulate and become smoother.

"I know it hurts. But I'm here. I wish I could take the pain."

His gaze softens.

"You...don't want to feel this. I don't want you to feel this." I can hear his pain through his clenched teeth as he tries to fight thought it. He always has been the strong willed one out of both of us.

I move my head closer, slouching.

"I thought I lost you."

"Never."

He tries to smile. I feel my eyes heat up with tears.

I never thought I would see that smile again. Or anything close to that smile.

I rest my head on his shoulder in relief.

I can finally breathe again.

It's never felt so good to breathe.

** CLARKE **

I feel like a third wheel as I just stare at their reunion. But a good third wheel.

It's like I'm not even here. I might as well not be.

"Are you crying?" Jasper says through closed eyes, obviously weak and in pain.

His voice is almost inaudible.

"Crybaby." As Monty doesn't answer, Jasper tries to raise his hand to Monty's head but it falls down quickly from weakness. I can hear a small laugh from monty as he seems happy from the insult.

To be insulted at all from Jasper again.

I decide not to ruin their moment and quietly start down the ladder.

Once I'm down Bellamy turns around, interested.

"What's going on? I heard lots of talking up there."

"He woke up." I try not to show my happiness too much, trying to stay professional. "Really? Thank goodness." He lets out a sigh of relief and I stare at him a bit confused.

"I mean.. It's good he's awake but I would be lying if I didn't think about wanting to shut him up." I raise an eyebrow at his statement.

"Then why did you even help? And don't say it's for the moonshine."

He lets out a small huff of laughter.

"Jasper's a good guy. He always seems to smile the brightest here and everyone else might be fake friends and actually hurt him but I could never do that to someone who doesn't deserve it."

I stare for a second, surprised by his response.

"Your full of surprises."

He smirks.

"Good ones I hope."

I shake my head, seeing the flirty Bellamy once again. Some things don't change.

I exit through the white sheets that are acting like a door to the drop ship. As soon as I get outside, I see Wells pacing around like he's thinking. Uh oh. That's never good.

I start for him.

"Look Wells I hope your not still mad over Bellamy. He did a great job and Jasper even woke up." Wells stops and smiles for a moment.

"That's good. I'm happy for Monty." His smile suddenly drops.

"But we need to talk."

He gestures for me to sit on the log next to him and I do as instructed. He seems serious.

"Why have you been acting weird around me?"

I don't expect the question and just stare.

"What do you mean? Are you mad we haven't been talking as much? Because being on a death trap kind of ruins fun." Wells looks straight into my eyes, obviously not having it.

"No. You haven't been acting like a real friend lately."

I stand up at the accusation.

"Haven't been acting like a friend? What are you talking about?"

"Look at Jasper and Monty and then look at us. It's different with us."

"Yeah Wells. Friendships come differently with everyone."

"No. When we were younger we were similar to them. Always side by side. Protecting each other. If we were the same as we were before you wouldn't have let me go off on my own without hesitation like you did. You wouldn't have let me get into a fight. You would have been more worried about my leg and tried to treat it with some handmade splint."

I look down seeing his point. Something inside me feels like it's cracking. Like a window that's about to break and once it's broken nothing would be the same.

"We were kids. Everything was different then."

"Why? Why was it different Clarke?" He gets closer. Another crack.

"I don't know." I try to walk farther away.

"WHAT'S WRONG CLARKE?!"

It all shatters. The window isn't there anymore.

"YOU KILLED MY DAD!"

He stares wide eyed at the outburst. I start to remember all those feelings again. The ones when I saw my dad floated and knowing Wells was the reason behind his death. That betrayal.

That pain.

I started to realize again how much it affected me. And that I was just pushing everything to the back of my head. Like it wasn't important. But I knew it would all come out again.

Looks like today's that day.

"I know I said I forgave you. I thought I did. But he was my dad." I rubbed my forehead. "He was the only other one that understood me apart from you. You knew that. And you still risked his life." I can't even look him in the eyes.

"And now he's dead. Because he wanted to save people. I just wish I had died with him."

"Clarke..."

"Look what you did. I'm supposed to be strong. So stop bringing this up or just stop talking to me altogether because it's too hard."

I turn away and before he can shout for me to come back I run farther towards the forest.


	11. Dying is Never Easy

** WELLS **

I sit at the bar, grabbing the last cup of moonshine from the rack.

I can't believe the first thing they built was a bar. I guess we all have our priorities. No need for shelter or anything else. Just need the room for the booze.

I would fight it, but right now I need it.

I'm just glad no one's around to protest about me drinking the last cup.

As I lift the metallic container up to my lips, I stop when I see Murphy the ass flirting up some girl by the fire. I set the cup down and rest my head on my hand as I stare at the scene.

Slap him. Hit him. Do something to him.

She leans in forward and he starts to kiss her cheek and then lowers down to her neck with a swift lick.

Anything but that.

I almost puke at the scene.

I'll just have to make up my own scene then.

I imagine Murphy being stabbed by the girl in a twist of emotions. She was mad at him for flirting with her sister and now it was time to enact her revenge. He tries to get away but then she brings out another knife and kicks him down before stabbing him in the neck.

Oh but he's still alive. Going through the pain as he wishes he were dead.

Then a piano falls on him and scene.

This is actually pretty fun.

I'm disappointed when reality comes back. I see her bring him up to her lips and they start to slurp on each other's faces. Great. Their about to have sex right in public.

I didn't know the kinks were going to start showing so early.

I chug down the drink in one gulp and get up from the stool to go find another place to relax.

I need to get away from whatever that is.

** CLARKE **

I stop in my tracks when I hear a girl scream and I don't realize how out of breath I really am until I do. I instantly look to the sound to see the source.

A girl is sleeping under a tree, shaking close by as if she's having a nightmare.

I had never seen her before. Wouldn't a little girl be noticeable?

I rush towards her and get on my knees. I put my hand on her shoulder and gently start to shake her.

"Hey. Wake up." I silently whisper. She suddenly opens her eyes and widnes them, almost falling over from moving farther away.

"It's ok. My name's Clarke." She sits up, pushing some hair behind her ear shyly. Her heavy breathing from shock begins to slow down and I notice the sweat dripping off her face.

"Did you have a nightmare?" I scoot a bit closer to her, resting my back against the tree as she is. She seems to be putting up a guard as she stares me down and doesn't answer.

"You don't have to be scared. I'm not like these other prisoners." She nods, sitting more comfortable. "Charlotte. My name." I give her a smile. She tries to give me one back.

"What was your nightmare about?" I make sure not to stare at her as it's hard to open up with eyes on you. I see her in the corner of my eye intertwine her fingers nervously.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. Just whenever I have nightmares I like to tell people." I try to soften my smile, hoping she'll talk to me.

"You've had nightmares?"

"Yeah. Many. More on the Ark."

===========

I wake up to my body being shaken by an unusual force. I sprint up and see Wells with a worried stricken face.

"I think you were having a nightmare." He removes his hand from my shoulder and sits down on his sleeping bag next to mine.

"Yeah. I think so." I wipe my forehead and feel sweat running down. "Do you want to talk about it?" He sits, interested.

"Why? What good would that do?"

"Maybe I could make the nightmare into a good dream."

I smile at his optimism.

"Well there was this clown and he had a knife. Running after me and then I got stuck in a bouncy house with him jumping right beside me trying to slash me." He widens his eyes and gapes.

"Wow. That sounds so scary."

"It felt so real."

"I bet. Clowns sound scary. Those children books we read probably started the nightmare." He points at the books beside me. "Books are bad. Now I know." He makes a yuck sound and I laugh.

"Maybe you could imagine the clown but instead of a knife it has a balloon. Oh and he can make any balloon at the wave of his hand. MAYBE EVEN A BUNNY!"

I can't stop laughing.

"Your the best Wells."

"I know."

I scoff.

"How about we talk until you fall asleep. I'll go get some snacks. You get comfortable."

He ran off in an energetic speed of lightning and I let out a sigh as I layed back down, waiting.

Good clown. Not bad.

============

I never did have the same nightmare after that.

My heart starts to ache at the memory.

"How did you get rid of them?" I snapped back to Charlotte. "Well I always changed the dream into something positive. Like a clown chasing you with a knife into a clown with magical balloons." She makes a confused face.

"Just an example."

I feel bad that she has to be down here while so young and now she's having nightmares.

"My parents were floated."

She said out of the blue. Something I was not expecting.

Her eyes wander to the ground.

"I see them in my dreams."

I know how she feels. The loss of a parent is truly horrible but both... I can't even imagine. No one to rely on. Especially not a sibling since we couldn't have those.

"My father got floated too."

Most people know but I doubt anyone cares. Everyone has their own problems.

She looks up, giving me a sympathetic smile.

"The ground is our second chance. Whatever happened up there. I think we can move past that now." She stares at me. A neutral expression is on her face.

"Do you really believe that?"

I can see hope start to appear in her eyes.

"I'm trying to..." I smile. "Now sorry to leave you but I have to go check on a friend who was wounded. I truly hope you don't have nightmares anymore. I know how it feels to have haunting nightmares of my dad and I would never wish that on anyone. Especially a little girl."

I get up, flashing her a smile again.

"Thanks."

\------------

I get back up the ladder and walk towards Monty. Who looks like he's trying to sleep as he almost drops his head when his hand moves from under him.

He sees me and stands up.

I notice something and look over by the counters to see Wells sitting down. We catch eyes for a quick second and then I turn back to Monty when I see my dad in my head. His motionless body.

"How is he?" I look over to see Jasper asleep like a baby.

"He was still hurting so I gave him some more of the medicine and he fell right asleep. Passed out actually. The wound seems fine to me but we need a real expertise opinion."

"You could have asked Wells."

"He's a bit hungover." I look back to see Wells passed out too. I hope I didn't drive him to drink. I don't want this friendship to end either but I think I just need some time.

Or a lot of time.

"Ok. I'll check."

** BELLAMY **

As soon as Clarke gave Jasper the all clear on an infection free wound I went out hunting with Atom and Murphy. We needed the food and they didn't need my protection anymore.

I'm in the back walking as Atom searches for tracks. Murphy is beside me, holding one of the spears he made for the hunting trip as he searched for animals to throw it at. I'm keeping guard for both of them.

A rustle.

I turn to see a boar not too far away. The two of them look at me and smile. I gesture for them to pause and wait.

"Finally something to kill."

Atom states and I ignore his comment as I signal Murphy to throw his spear. He's been practicing throwing all day and now's his moment. I just hope he wasn't practicing on real people like Atom could and probably would.

It seems like Murphy has been trying to take after Atom. I don't feel very good about the pairing. But I can't really stop it.

I hear a twig snap behind me and thinking it's another boar, I take one of the extra spears off my back to aim. But when I turn around I don't see an animal like I thought.

It's a little girl.

I sigh in annoyance and lower the spear.

"Who the hell are you?" I can hear the anger grow in my voice. "Charlotte." She announces to me but looks at the other two behind me shyly. I turn to them.

"Atom go after the boar and meet us back at camp. Murphy stay with me. We'll probably need to take her back." Atom grows excited. "Any chance to kill something!" He takes a spear and runs off into the woods.

Murphy comes closer. "Bellamy we're not in the babysitting service. This is like the princess all over again. She found her way here. She can find her way back." He whispers obviously peeved.

"Murphy she's a little girl."

"And she's here for a reason."

I shake him off and look back towards the girl.

"I almost killed you. Why aren't you back at camp? There's dangerous things out here." She looks around but didn't seem scared. "It's too dangerous out here for a little girl." I lower my voice as I get on my knee.

"I'm not little." Her eyebrows furrow angrily. She starts to show a bit more confidence apart form before. I feel my face soften and I let out a smile. I reach into my back pocket and take out a pocket knife.

I hold it out to her and she stares at it for a little bit before taking it.

Then as if right on cue with her grip a horn blows and I turn to the source of the noise to see a cloud of yellow smoke. I don't know what that is. But I'm smart enough to realize that's not normal smoke.

I smell a particular smell and realize...

It's acid fog. It has to be.

"RUN RUN GO GO!" I yell towards Murphy as I grab the girls arm and pull her to run with me to the opposite way of the smoke that's ganging up on us.

"I SAW SOME CAVES EARLY ON COME ONE THIS WAY! HURRY!"

I start to smell the smoke closer, a sickening feeling overcoming me even form a whiff.

I keep running with the scared girl beside me.

We're not dying today. Not like this.

I see the caves as my legs start to give out and use my last ounce of strength to get into the cave. We make it just in the nick of time. As we both try to catch out breaths I look around the dark and wet cave.

I look around in a panic as I let go of Charlotte.

Where's Murphy?!

I must have been so panicked I didn't hear his footsteps stop following us.

FUCK!

I hit one of the walls with my fist.

I can't believe I lost a member of my group. He could be dead for all I know. And what about Atom? He went hunting deeper in the woods but I have no idea if that was towards the smoke or away from it.

I need to calm down. I need to think of this little girl that did survive.

I sit on a big rock next to her.

"I sometimes hear you screaming in the morning. Do you have nightmares?" I try to keep her mind off the smoke but I might have come off a bit creepy.

"Yeah. I have them of my parents who were floated." She looks down. I want to ask why they were floated but I also don't want her to think of it more. It's bad enough losing her parents but then having a random guy add onto that by pressuring her into talking won't make anything better.

"Fears are fears. Slay your demons while your awake and they won't be there when you sleep." She smiled at my words as if they had actually helped. Me? Helping? Who have I become?

It's just something I thought of. I always had nightmares of O dying down here so I came down with her. So I guess I could slay that dragon of fear.

Knowing she would be safe made me feel even better.

**CLARKE**  
I go out to get some air and end up walking farther than I hoped to.

I stop by a swamp and peer out at the crystal green water. How can such a dirty and mucky area seem so beautiful?

A horn interrupts my thoughts and it doesn't take long before I see a sort of fog start to come closer. Yellow fog. As it nears I start to feel burning sensation.

Acid fog.

I start to run the opposite way.

Suddenly the ground sweeps from under and I trip onto the ground.

I look around in a panic and see the thing that tripped me. A handle. I see the fog racing up to me. Before I can think of a reason not to I pull on the handle.

Doesn't budge.

I pull with all my strength and it starts to loosen.

Then with one more pull it opens with a pop.

As the smell of burning starts to near, I jump in not caring if there's something inside and grab onto the ladder bar with one hand as I close the lid with the other hand.

It creaks down and once its shut I turn the hand to the side to lock it.

I breathe heavily as I climb down the ladder and fall on the ground. My beating heart the only noise in the room.

I look around and realize from pictures in school on the Ark, I'm in a submarine.

I just sit and wait for the fog to pass.

\------------

A little while later I feel like it should have passed by now. The air around me feels a bit freer.

I quickly rush up the ladder, opening the lid with as much caution as I could have. Once it's open I see the air is clear and everything looks like it had before.

Then I hear a familiar scream and jump out.

Charlotte.

I start running towards the direction of the scream which isn't far away.

She better not be hurt!

\-----------

I make it a few minutes later to see Charlotte. Staring at Bellamy. Who's kneeling beside a body.

I grab onto Charlotte gently and she flinches but sees me and calms down. "Go wait by that tree." I whisper and she does as told. With no hesitation.

"That wasn't you screaming was it?" I try to joke but he just jumps as he hears me. I regret my choice as soon as I see the body he's by. I widen my eyes, grasping my mouth in shock.

"Charlotte found him."

I walk to the other side of the body, kneeling down like Bellamy.

He takes a deep breath.

He cared about atom that much? I mean a leader should care about all his members. Not that I'm calling him the leader but he thinks as much.

I look down at Atom with a bubbly face full of blisters. He looks like a monster as he gurgles trying to speak.

I didn't know acid fog could be this bad.

I feel a little bad for him. No one should have to go through this. Not even the guy that loved killing.

I see a glisten and glance at Bellamy to see he has a knife in his hand. That he's doing nothing with. I slowly reach my hand over and grab the handle of the knife.

He looks at me with surprise and regret.

No fight necessary this time.

I don't want him to be a killer and I know I shouldn't care. But no one should become a killer. I'll take one for the team this time.

I pull Atom's head into my lap. I start to hum a calming song I heard a lot on the Ark.

I caress what he has left of hair on his head as his mouth bubbles with spit. I feel my eyes grow hot at the pain I'm seeing.

No one. No one should have to go through this. Especially not alone.

But I guess he's not alone anymore.

I take a deep breath and slowly pierce the knife into his neck as I close my eyes. The humming of my song starts to become a bit warbled as I feel my body shake from keeping from crying.

I open my eyes soon after to see blood spilling out from his neck.

And then right after he stops moving.

I close his eyes with a slide of my hand.

I know Bellamy's eyes are on me but I don't want to look at him as blood spills onto my hands. I'm just glad he didn't have to do this.

He would have been a mess. Even if he acts all tough I know that's not him really.

"Bellamy... I'm sorry." He rubs his nose and looks down at the ground.

I don't know if it's the fact someone just died or that he couldn't put his so called friend out of his misery but I see Bellamy's eyes glisten a bit.

In one swift move, I wipe my eyes with my sleeve and stand up.

"There was nothing you could do."

"I know. But it's still my fault."

"It was not your fault, Bell."

I expect him to call me out on calling him by his sister's nickname to comfort him but after a while of waiting he just doesn't say anything.

He gets up.

"We can't save everybody. We just have to live with that." He doesn't look my way. "Ok?" I try to get some confirmation.

"I know Clarke. I'm not some kid."

He ruins the moment , going back to his stubborn annoying self.

Can I ever win with this guy.

He kneels down and picks up Atom with a gentle hold.

We don't say a word as we start back to camp.

Not a single sound.

\------------

Entering camp, all eyes drop on us as they stop what they were doing.

Everyone just stops for a moment and then gets back to work. Some going back to making the tents. Some just eating and others trying to get in their sleep from the time they lost to the screaming.

Totally different from the time with Jasper. And he wasn't even dead.

I glance at Bellamy, who's obviously bothered but he just sets Atom down on the ground close to the drop ship. He makes sure not to damage his body any more as he sets him down by each body part slowly.

Once Atom's down, Bellamy enters the drop ship.

I make a split second decision and enter in behind him.

I stare at him sitting far away against a wall as he holds his head. No one else is in here. Just him and his thoughts. And me.

I sit beside him quietly.

"I-" He looks at me, stopping my words.

"Can we just not talk?"

I nod as he turns his head away.

I rest my head on the wall as the silence starts to wrap around us in a comfortable blanket. It starts to feel normal. Not awkward or weird. Just normal.

I feel a certain safety I haven't had since we made it down here.

A safety I actually hadn't had since my dad died.

** WELLS **

Day started to turn to night and I was still on watch. Waiting for someone else to take over. But being out here kind of gives you time to think.

I should tell Clarke the truth. I just made it so tense.

But I had to get it out, I couldn't just have that sinking feeling every time I saw her any more.

The feeling of thinking I was a stranger to her half the time.

Once I hear rustling in the woods, I pull my spear out from the ground I'd been digging it into, and aim at the noise. My heart starts to race at all the threats that could come out.

I put it down when I see that it's just a little girl that I'd seen around camp.

"Couldn't sleep?"

I could see the small dark circles under her eyes which stood out from her pale face. She doesn't say anything as she sits next to me on the log and I give her a small smile.

I haven't seen or been anywhere near a little girl or any kids since we got down here. Which makes sense but you'd think there'd be some population of people over a hundred years.

Kids give you hope.

Probably because they haven't had that hope ripped away from them yet.

"I never can. I always have nightmares."

Her voice sends shivers down my spine. I adjust my position on the log as something's telling me to get away. It's like a dark energy is coming from her.

But she's just a little girl.

She wouldn't do anything.

I know how it feels to have nightmares but mine are not like any other. Since my dad's the Chancellor and in control of who gets floated and the one to pull the lever... I always had nightmares of him putting me on the list and floating me for any bad thing I did.

Even just being a teenager. So I never became rebellious or anything out of the fact that I was scared of his power.

I wasn't really scared of him. Just he never tried very hard to bond with me so I felt like I was living in the same place as an executioner.

But this isn't about me.

"I have them every night." I start to hear the anger in her voice. "...But I found a way to get rid of them." I look out at the forest.

That's good. I need to get her secret.

"I'm sorry."

"For wh-"

Something sharp glides into my chest. I grab onto it, seeing a handle sticking out of my body. I look at the little girl, who just stares at me with an intense hate.

I try to pull it out, but instead fall down to the ground.

I wheeze for air as the coughing starts and blood flies out of my mouth. I try to grab at the handle again, failing as all the blood on my hands slides it from my grip.

I can't die now.

"Every night. I see your father killing my parents. And I see his face."

There's no emotion except pure hate in her tone.

"Then I see your face every morning. And the nightmare ends only to start anew but in real life. I had to slay my dragon."

I can't scream for help or anything as the taste of iron fills my mouth.

Everything starts to go numb as my vision blurs.

"Only a little bit longer now."

\---------

"Don't worry. It's only a bit longer now."

Clarke brings the cotton ball to my arm before pushing it onto my cut. I wince in pain, gripping my hands into fists.

"Clarke really. I'm ok. You don't need to worry so much. It's just a paper cut."

She removes the cotton ball and gets a bandage from her small med kit.

"Now what kind of friend would I be if I didn't worry? It could get Infected Wells." I rolled my eyes and she caught me as she hit me on my wound. "Don't you dare roll your eyes at me." I wince as she smiles.

As she starts to wrap it around my cut, I smile at her determination.

You can see how much she really loves the idea of being a doctor. The way she focuses so much on the area your hurt and that look in her eyes of pureness and happiness from helping people.

I'm glad she's my friend.

\---------

Clarke...


	12. No One is Safe

** JASPER **

Monty helps me put on my shirt as I try not to move from the pain and miss the arm hole. We've had to try this whole shirt thing for a ten minutes now.

Why are there so many holes in the first place?

He successfully pulls it down my torso. I almost wave my hands up in celebration but midway I bend over in pain.

It's gonna take some getting used to not being able to be as energetic as I want.

"You ok?" He holds my arm as I climb back up onto the bed. "Yeah just hurts like hell." He lets go as he sits down on a stool next to me.

"It's gonna take a while. Even with the medicine."

"I know. Hey isn't that stool from outside?"

He makes a guilty face. I laugh, trying not to shake my body.

"You've become such a badass Monty." I lay my head down on the pillow, turning my head to him. He shakes his head.

"Their not gonna have moonshine for a while so I doubt they need it."

"Don't stop making it on my account. Everyone needs to be buzzed right now. Especially me." He smiles. I can't help but smile also. I never thought I'd see him again after the kidnapping.

Memories start to fill my head again, making me grunt with displeasure.

"Hey. Hey Jasper what happened?" I open my eyes to him.

"Nothing. How is Mothra?" Worry falls over his face. I grab onto his hand not too far away. "I'm fine Monty. I just have some headaches from the wound. Can you distract me?" He doesn't take his eyes off me for a moment.

He removes his hand from mine as he reaches into his shirt pocket and brings out the caterpillar of my dreams. I raise my hand and he lets Mothra crawl onto my finger.

"I feel stronger already."

There's a nice silence for a few seconds as we stare at Mothra.

"I was actually thinking. Maybe we could build him a home. And when we get the tents built up we can get him on certain days."

"Monty that's a great idea. I'm already getting excited." I let out a big smile, genuinely happy in this moment. Monty always knows how to cheer me up.

I set Mothra down and he starts crawling across my chest.

"Hey."

I look up to Monty who has a distressed expression on as he rubs his hands together. I wait for him to start.

"Your a hero. You know that?"

"I'm really not."

"You are. That spear was meant for me. You should have just let it hit me."

"Hey hey. No. I could never. Plus your weaker than I am." Monty glares for a second and I give him an over silly smile.

"Heroes have done more than me. I'm just a normal guy who got himself harmed so my best friend wouldn't be."

"Your not normal. And you are a hero. Just my hero."

I can't help but stare deeper into Monty's eyes.

He really is the best.

** BELLAMY **

Thinking, I stay awake as Clarke looks like she's fallen asleep. On my shoulder.

But I don't want to move her or she'll become annoying all over again.

I should have been able to put him out of his misery. I didn't like him all that much but he was more my friend than Clarke's. But that's probably why it was so easy for her.

I'm supposed to hate her but for some reason I feel an ounce of respect for what she did.

Murphy hasn't made it back yet and now I'm starting to think he really is dead. It's dark out and I want to go look for him in case he came to the same fate as Atom but it's probably too dangerous.

The fog could still be out there.

But I still want to wait. Because if he is still alive, he'll want to be there when I bury Atom. They were getting pretty close.

A shadow looms towards the drop ship and I lightly shut my eyes. I squint one slightly open to see Charlotte sneak in with some stuff on her hands she's trying to wipe on her pants.

She looks slightly scared but... a little happy?

What was she doing out there?

Oh I almost forgot. The shift for watch. Wells must be tired as hell.

She lays down on the ground and I wait a few minutes after she falls asleep before I get up. I softly lay Clarke's head on the spot where I was sitting.

Sleep tight princess.

I rush outside to the small clearing right outside of camp.

"Hey!"

I stop and look to see the princess crossing her arms. "What Clarke?" She walks closer.

"I thought I would be taking the shift tonight."

"Well you were asleep and Wells is waiting to go to sleep."

She widens her eyes.

"Wells is on watch?" I nod, confused. "You take it tonight. I'm gonna go before he comes back in." She starting to act suspicious. She turns to walk away.

"Hey aren't you guys like best friends? Why are you acting so weird?"

"Why does everyone keep asking that?"

I sigh.

"Not like I care anyways. Go on your way."

"Thank you."

Once there's silence again, I hear a gurgling noise.

I look back at Clarke and she stops to look towards me too. She runs towards the noise and I follow close by. "WELLS?! WELLS?!" She screams his name and once we're in the clearing I glance around.

My eyes stop right near the log.

Oh my god.

Clarke gasps and rushes to his side as he's barely opening his eyes. Blood is rushing down his mouth and out of a wound near his heart. "What do we do?" I ask and she starts to look frazzled.

"CLARKE! HE'S DYING WHAT DO WE DO?!"

She rushes up. "Carry him to the camp. I'll go get some supplies just get him nearby." I can sense how scared she is but she tries to keep it together. "Ok hurry. I'll get him." She runs back to the drop ship in a dead sprint.

"Don't die now dude. There's no other respectable strong guys here."

\-----------

I place him down on the ground as Clarke rushes out with a bucket and a med kit.

"Maybe we should get him in the drop ship. Come on. Monty and Jasper could help." I stop her, grabbing her arm. "That's not a good idea. Let's just stay out here. I'll help." Clarke stares at me with confusion and a hint of anger.

"Clarke there's no time."

She comes back to realization and gets on the ground next to Wells. She tears the shirt around the knife, trying not to push against it. "This isn't a papercut Wells..." I hear her whisper as she tries to straighten her slightly shaking hands.

She grabs the handle of the knife. "When I take it out. Put pressure on the wound." I hover over his body, ready.

She takes a deep breath and in one move pulls it out.

I quickly push my hands into his chest, making sure not to push too hard.

"Don't die Wells..."

Her voice becomes shaky. Almost as if she's about to cry.

"I never got to talk to him. Never got to say how much I loved him. How much I would have missed him." Her voice trembles as she focuses on his face.

She grabs the rag from the water and starts to clean the blood around the wound. Dipping it back in the water, when it fills in with too much blood.

"I don't know what happened with you guys. But let's save him now so you can tell him those things."

She doesn't even glance at me as she continues to work and takes a bandage out of the med kit.

She looks to the side and goes to yell but looks back at Wells and stops herself.

"What's wrong?"

"He.. He was the one I would yell for when I needed help." She rubs her forehead, a little blood wiping against her skin. I can see the tears starting to form in her eyes as she starts to overthink what's happening.

I can already tell she's preparing for him dying.

"I'm here. To help until he can again. Which he will."

She widens her eyes. No tricks. No manipulating feelings. Not this time.

She nods, flashing me a slight smile.

"Ok let go."

I do as told for once and lift my hands. The blood comes out slower. "Lift his body up so I can wrap this around him." I lift him up slightly and Clarke takes the start of the roll to lay on his side. She then quickly starts wrapping it around his body, looking like a pro while doing it.

She did have training after all.

Once it's around him he looks like a mummy who only remembered to wrap his torso.

"That's all I can do for now. It his fight to fight." She touches his head and combs a few fingers through his short hair. She regulates her breathing, closing her eyes.

"So. Why didn't you want to bring Wells to the drop ship?" She peers up at me. Right into my soul.

I take a few seconds.

"I can't say for sure. But I saw Charlotte come in a few minutes before I left."

"So? She could have been wanting a walk. She has nightmares." She starts to sound defensive.

"The thing is... she didn't look innocent at all. She wiped blood onto her pants." She looks away. I know she knows that Charlotte has to be a suspect. I don't want to suggest a little girl either... But.

But...

I realize how pale Wells' face is. Like a dark tone of white paper.

Someone has to take blame for this.

My eyes drop on the knife, still covered with his blood.

How could a little girl do this?

** CLARKE **

I decide to wait out here. Wait until he wakes up. Bellamy doesn't leave me and instead goes to sit against a log as he watches Wells.

I thought Bellamy was just some guy who cared about no one but himself. But I've realized time and time again how wrong I was. How he cares about his group mates. His sister. Even Wells who lived a completely different life than him on the Ark.

I couldn't have been more wrong.

It's been at least an hour and he hasn't left me. But Wells also hasn't woken up. I don't want him to leave me either.

We have had a rough patch lately but I would never wish for him to die. I still care about him.

\-----------

"Clarke? Clarke..." I wake up to the sound of a deep smooth voice. I open my eyes to Bellamy. What is he doing?

"What?"

"We need to get Wells in the drop ship upstairs before Charlotte sees. Just in case."

Oh god he's right. I thought Wells would wake up and be able to move himself but that was just wishful thinking.

"Ok. "

What else could I say? A little girl might of tried to murder my best friend.

I still felt numb at the thought.

\-----------

Once we miraculously get him up the ladder, I see Jasper and Monty still awake.

"Why are you guys still up?" Bellamy lifts up Wells and follows behind me. "Jasper was having pains and couldn't get to sleep so we were just talking." Monty sees Wells and furrows his eyebrows.

"Why is Bellamy holding a shirtless Wells?"

I didn't realize how weird it was until just now.

"He doesn't look good. Is he gonna be ok?" Jasper lifts himself up. He winces the whole way up.

"He can have the bed. He looks way worse than me."

"Jasper no. But if I tell you guys. You can't tell anyone."

They glance at each other and nod.

"We promise. You seem serious. What's wrong?"

I take a second to breathe.

"Wells was stabbed." They widen their eyes. "What? Was it the people outside the camp again?" Monty rushes in front of Jasper's bed. I shake my head. I take a look back at Bellamy.

He nods.

"We think it was Charlotte."

"WHAT?! But she seemed so innocent." Jasper blurts out and I bring a finger up to mouth to shush him.

"She's downstairs. But she had blood all over her hands minutes before we found him."

"I can't believe this." Monty rubs a hand through his hair in disbelief.

"What are we going to do?"

The question I still had no answer to. What were we going to do?

"Monty help me up." Monty rushes to Jasper's side as he sees him climbing over the table. "What are you doing?" He gets on his feet and Monty holds him up, making sure he doesn't fall.

"Wells needs it more than me. He was just stabbed."

"You were too!" I whisperly yell. "Yeah Jasper you should get back in bed." Bellamy is right behind me.

So he **can** agree with me.

"Guys. I was stabbed days ago. That's yesterday's news. Plus with all the help I'm getting from Monty I'll be better in no time." I can see the pain in his face. He's not hiding it too well.

"Where will you sleep then?"

"I was thinking on the ground with Monty. I think he needs his buddy anyways." Monty glows red for a second.

"I DO NOT!"

Jasper pokes his nose and chuckles to himself.

"First be glad I'm not dropping you. Second... are you sure?" Monty gives him the look saying he can still back out. Which he still can. He's going through just as much pain as Wells will.

"Yes. I'm sure. Monty told me how Wells was there for him during his tough time. So I want to help Wells through his." Jasper peeks at Monty and Monty just smiles.

"Thank you Jasper." I gesture for Bellamy to sit Wells down. He does and sets him gently onto the metal resting place. I hear a groan as Bellamy moves away and I walk to his side.

"Wells?"


	13. Surprising Guilt Party

** CLARKE **

My heart pounds slightly.

Wells slowly opens his eyes, landing on me. He gives me a look of guilt and then closes his eyes in pain.

I grab onto his shoulder gently.

"Are you ok?"

He tries to sit up, but I stop him with a slight push down.

"You were stabbed Wells. You need to rest."

He doesn't push on me and just lays back down.

"Ok."

His voice is raspy, as if he hasn't had water for days. His face is paler than I have ever seen it. And he seems too weak to even fight back. Let alone move anymore.

I hate seeing him like this.

Maybe I could have prevented this? Maybe if we hasn't gotten into a fight... Maybe if I hadn't still blamed him for my father's death.

I don't want to. I want to be like we used to be. I want to be able to forget the past.

I thought if he survived this I could forgive him. But there's still that sinking feeling in my heart that's making it impossible.

But I do know that I would never want him to die.

He was my positivity.

"It must hurt like hell huh?"

Bellamy speaks up, trying to clear the tension in the air.

Wells lets out an air that's supposed to be a laugh. A weak one at that.

"Now we're stabbed buddies Jasper. We should start a group."

Jasper smiles. But then Wells starts to cough. No moisture coming out.

"Let's go get Wells some water." Bellamy gestures for them to come with.

"You need us to go get water?" Jasper raises an eyebrow and Monty achems. Monty nods his head towards us and Jasper mouths oh.

"Just come on."

Bellamy comes over and helps Monty with Jasper.

Before he's ready to take Jasper down, he shoots a motivating look at me.

Then he's gone.

I said I would say so many things when he woke up. But suddenly I can't seem to say any of it.

"So. I can see you still hate me."

I dart my eyes towards him, finally able to just look at him and not at what I've lost because of him. His eyes are glistening. Either form the pain or the fact that we're not talking.

Even though it's only been a day...

Something feels missing when we're not together.

"I could never hate you. I just... It hurts to see you when he can't be here."

His eyes wander away and his face becomes dark with thought.

"So do you want to end this friendship? Or is it even a friendship anymore? Maybe it's been done for a while now and I just haven't been able to see it."

I sit on the stool next to his bedside.

"I thought I could live without you by my side. For just a second. But then that thought became a nightmare when I saw you bleeding out. No matter what Wells..." He looks up.

"I could never want to destroy what we had. I could never live without you."

I wipe at my eyes.

He doesn't say anything. But I can feel him listening. Like he always does.

"It's just hard. Him not being here. And lately all I've been seeing when I look at you is his face. Frozen in space."

"You should know the truth then."

I narrow my eyebrows in confusion.

"The truth?"

"I didn't want to tell you because I didn't want you to hate her but... Clarke I didn't tell anyone about your dad. I could never. He was important to me too. Like a dad I never had."

I stare at him.

Everything I ever knew was disappearing as if in a second.

"Then. Who was it?"

In my heart I already knew before he said it. I just didn't want to believe she could ever do something like this.

"It... it was your mom."

I take a deep breath in, letting the information absorb into me as I slouch over.

"I know it may be hard to believe me. But you already despised me so I had nothing to lose telling you this. I'm so sorry Clarke. I hope one day you can forgive me."

"No. I knew."

He stared at me in surprise.

"I didn't want to know. But she wasn't there for the funeral. And they had been fighting for months before he was found out. I should be the one that's sorry."

My watery eyes started to drip as I gripped onto my mouth.

"I let you take the blame. And I almost lost you because I was too stupid to put facts together. I'm so sorry Wells. I'm so sorry."

My mind was becoming a mess as my face was and years of repression just came out in that instant. All that anger towards Wells wasn't justified at all and he could have died thinking I hated him.

I could have been alone down here.

I could have lost my best friend.

"Come here."

I didn't take a moment to hesitate and got up to gently wrap my arms around him. With any ounce of strength he had left, he wrapped one arm around my back.

"You don't have to be sorry. You didn't want to believe your mother was more loyal to the Ark than to your family. I get it."

I closed my eyes.

How could my mother do this. She said she loved him. So how could she do this. How could she kill the love of her life?

There's no good reason.

Loyalty is nothing if you don't have family.

** MONTY **

"Come on Jasper."

Bellamy tried to help lift him up to climb but he just attached himself to me, his head on my shoulder.

"I can't. My body feels like a ton of weights."

His words started to slur as his eyes slowly closed.

"It's okay Bellamy. I'll stay down here with him. You bring the water up to Wells."

He sighs, looking around.

"Ok. But make sure not to interact with Charlotte."

He whispered and I nodded.

Like I would ever let her near Jasper after what she did to Wells.

Sure I'm not super close to Wells but he did help me before so I know he's a good guy who didn't deserve this. Bellamy is the one who surprised me.

He seems genuine but to be caring and nice out of nowhere. He had to have been hiding it for a reason. Maybe to seem tougher than he actually is?

I don't know. But I do know that he's not gonna be showing this side as much with the whole group. Especially since their all prisoners.

"Bed. Bed. Bed." Jasper slightly knocked on my head.

"I'm gonna toss you on the floor."

** CLARKE **

I'm finally calm.

I just sit in silence as I let Wells gets a few seconds of nap time. I think he really needed it because he drifted off seconds in.

I quickly felt like everything went back to normal after he told me the truth. After I let myself believe the fact. I had no more anger towards him.

When I looked at him, I saw him and not my father.

But there was still a dark feeling in my chest. Not for him. But for my mom.

I don't think I can forgive her.

I trusted her for so long... and she betrayed me. She betrayed us.

I hate her.

I'm just glad she's up there and I'm down here or I might have a reason to do something.

I heard footsteps and looked to see Bellamy was back. I sent one more glance back at Wells and then headed for Bellamy.

"How is he?"

I shake my head.

"He's fine. Just hurts but he's strong enough physically and mentally to endure it. I just can't believe this happened." I faced him, making sure to keep quiet as not to wake up Wells. "We're supposed to protect these people. And we didn't even notice a kid was blood lust."

"We? You mean me."

I stare at him for a long second.

"Come on Bellamy. Don't act like you can do this by yourself. We may not like each other but we can endure each other for the sake of our group."

He sighs, exhausted.

"I don't have any power to fight back right now. But your right. We should have noticed. Even if she was a kid. Murphy did. We should have."

I start to remember Murphy being out there alone. Bellamy can't feel too good about having to leave him out there.

"Who knew Murphy would be right for once."

"Not me."

"We should go after him in the morning though."

He looks up, surprised.

"Don't look so surprised. He is apart of our group even if he's a dick. I still don't forgive him for what he did to Wells but he doesn't deserve to die like Atom."

He nods.

"But now we need to figure out what to do with Charlotte. Did you ask Wells if it was her?"

"Yeah. He told me once he remembered."

"So?"

I look away.

"It was her."

"Shit."

Bellamy rubs his forehead for a second.

"What do we do now?"

"She's a little girl. I don't know what we can do."

"A little girl who almost killed your best friend."

"How about... We just try to get some rest tonight. We'll talk to her in the morning and make our decision then. She doesn't seem to be much of a threat to anyone except Wells."

"I gave up sleep so that I could deal with this stuff."

How are we supposed to take care of other people when we can barely take care of ourselves?

** MONTY **

I hear birds chirping as light shines through the sheet blocking the entrance.

I stare, dumbfounded and tired.

I couldn't sleep. I glance over at Charlotte sleeping like a baby without a hint of stress on her face. I guess those nightmares stopped.

My eyes wander to the blood across her pants leg.

I couldn't sleep knowing she was there.

My hand tightens around Jasper's limp wrist as she shuffles in her sleep.

All I see is a demon now. Not a child.

**CLARKE**

I stare at Wells sleeping face, seeing a bit more of his color coming back to his face.

I don't want to go down there. If I go down there and see Charlotte then it'll be too real.

We have to kick her out. There's no other option. I could never kill someone.

I feel a shiver run down my spine as I think of tossing out a little girl.

This is the right thing to do. She's too much of a threat.

"You ok Clarke?"

I put on a smile as I see Wells has awoken.

"Yeah. Just thinking. How do you feel?"

He sits up and radiates me with a smile.

"I feel fine."

"Wells..."

"Clarke if I feel fine then maybe everything will turn out fine."

I feel my smile fade.

"We're not that lucky."

I take in a deep breath of air and it starts to smell worse than when we first got here. Not sweet or pure anymore. Full of death and betrayal.

"I wish we didn't have to throw her out. That what we have to do right?"

I nod, hesitantly.

"She tried to kill you. You should hate her."

"I could never. She's just a lost girl who couldn't deal with her parent's death. We all know what that's like one way or another." That hits me right in the heart.

"Yeah. We do. But she risked someone else's life to make herself feel better. That could never feel right. She meant to kill you. I could never live with myself if she had."

He grasps onto my hand, for comfort. I tighten for a second back.

Everything is spinning out of control. We've only been here for a few days and it's already too much to handle. If I don't hold onto something with all my strength, I might as well be swept away.

Emotions are already fizzling to a boiling point.

A familiar smell of musk and liquor invades my nose as a presence walks up to us.

"Good to have you back in one piece."

Wells gives Bellamy a weak smile as he tries to shift his position.

"Good to be back."

Seems like they've been getting along lately. I don't know if I should be scared or not.

Sure Bellamy isn't as much of a dick as I thought but I wouldn't be surprised if he took a total turn and swayed Wells to his side to gang up on me.

"Clarke. Are you ready?"

Suddenly his eyes are on me and I feel my chest get tighter.

"I don't know if I can be. She's just a little girl Bellamy."

I raise my hand up to my hair, obviously frustrated.

All I keep thinking about is finding her stuck in a trap or mauled by some wild animal.

"Clarke..."

His hands grip onto my wrist as he pulls it down.

"We can deal with this. We have to. This group needs protection and I hate it just as much as you do but we can't risk everyone else's life. I need you with me on this."

I stare at him. He let's go of my wrist and I feel a bit more determined and less weak.

We have to do this for the camp.


	14. Death and Healing

** CHARLOTTE **

The air feels sweeter this morning.

I walk outside as everything feels right for once.

Those nightmares disappeared without a trace.Now I can just live my life without any more disturbances.

I close my eyes, taking in the great world.

Nothing could go wrong now.

** WELLS **

"I need to get up Clarke."

I send my legs flying over the edge as I take in the pain with a few deep breaths.

"No. Wells. We need to do this alone. You can't come with. What if she tried to hurt you again."

I can see the fear on her face. The fear I had waited for ever since we got down here. The fear that showed me she still cared. But I had to go down with her.

"I'm not like Jasper. I can take more pain. Clarke I have to see her face. See if she's even sorry."

Clarke looks over at Bellamy.

"He's got a point."

Clarke groans.

"Fine. But if you feel like falling over or too much pain, we're instantly coming back up here."

"Ok."

"Promise."

"I promise."

"Ok let's go before I change my mind."

** CHARLOTTE **

I grab some firewood from beside a big log and toss it into the fire. It makes a big explosion of fire and I smile with the heat hitting my face.

So warm.

I hear the curtain open and hoping for Bellamy and Clarke, I look over.

But stop once I see him.

Wells.

Am I seeing ghosts?

I rub my eyes quickly and dart my eyes to the figure again.

He's still there...

"I made sure you were dead..."

I announce to myself without thinking and two more figures walk out of the drop ship as he looks at me with shock.

I see Bellamy and Clarke widen their eyes as they see me.

No... No... NO!

This can't be happening!

I feel my chest start to pound and beat louder as Clarke slowly walks up to me with her arms in front of her. Telling me to calm down.

I thought I found a family.

I thought I'd finally be able to fit in.

HE RUINED EVERYTHING!

I ignore Clarke and start running into the woods, their footsteps running after me.

"DON'T KILL ME! PLEASE!"

I can already feel the tears starting to rush down my face as my legs move faster and faster to escape them.

\------------

I skid to a stop as I see a cliff right beyond me. Below is great darkness even in the sunlight and there's no hint at a bottom.

A rock falls in and after a few minutes I don't hear anything.

I turn around to see Clarke and Bellamy breathing heavily as they try to regain their composure.

Don't do this...

Please.

** CLARKE **

"We're not going to hurt you."

I hold my hands in front of me as I try to shuffle closer to her. My body starts to shake with fear as I see her moving closer to the edge of the cliff.

"W-we just want to know why you did it."

I try to keep a positive tone on, to not scare her.

Tears stream down her face as she looks down at the cliff and then back at me.

I feel ready to rush after her if she even takes a step farther back.

"H-he was my fears. His dad killed my parents..." I nod my head, understanding. "Bellamy told me to slay my demons in real life." I glance over at Bellamy.

"I never meant it in that way."

"I can see him everyday." I hear the solemn in her voice. "I can't see him everyday anymore..."

I see her inching more to the edge as she closes her eyes.

"NO!"

I yell, rushing towards the cliff to her but I'm too late as she falls off.

I drop to my knees, looking into the vast darkness.

I don't feel anything. I'm just numb.

I grasp at the rubble.

A hand grips onto my shoulder and I can tell it's Bellamy.

She was just a little girl...

Why wasn't I fast enough?

\----------

As we start to walk back to camp, the silence becomes deafening.

"If I was just a little faster..."

My voice comes out a bit croaky.

"No."

I don't have the willpower to look up at him.

"We couldn't save her even if you were faster. She was already gone. And if anyone should feel guilty it should be me. I told her to slay her demons... I was so stupid."

He's already beating himself up.

"No. You tried to help. Don't blame yourself. No one's to blame."

I take in a deep breath.

I know no one's at fault. I just wish this never happened... another group member dead.

Even through all this bad though. One good thing came out of it.

Me and Bellamy worked together.

Something I never thought possible.

** BELLAMY **

Clarke sits next to me with the same drowned out face as the day before.

It's been a few days since Charlotte jumped to her death and I guess we still haven't recovered. It just reminds us of how fucked up this world has been.

I have nightmares here and there. All the same. Of her coming after me because of my advice.

Me and Clarke have learned to get used to each other after what happened. It wasn't the best bonding experience but now we don't want to punch each other at the sight of the other.

\-------------

"I feel even worse because when she fell off and it sunk in. I felt relieved. That she couldn't hurt Wells anymore. Isn't that terrible."

She must know how I'd tell the truth.

"Not really. She tried to kill your best friend. I would feel the same way if it had been my sister."

She glanced at me for a second.

\------------

"I want my wristband off."

I widen my eyes at her.

"What do you mean?" My eyes squint in confusion as I couldn't have heard her right. She just keeps staring forward with determination.

"You said you wouldn't let the Ark think you were dead unless you were dead."

"I lost the most important thing to me on the Ark. I was there when my dad got floated and my mom was nowhere to be found. I blamed my best friend when It was her fault."

She looks down at her hands.

"I had to see my dad drift into space and feel my heart break into a million pieces all the while my mom was nowhere to be found. She wasn't there. Not even for me." She finally looks at me with her determination showing stronger in her eyes.

"I want her to feel the sadness I felt."

** WELLS **

Day by day my wounds been getting better.

I can't say I can jump up and down but I can move now. I have to move now. Or otherwise I'd just be a nuisance. Clarke doesn't need that right now.

I walk the edge of the forest, making sure not to be caught by Clarke.

She'll just tell me to get back into bed.

I missed how protective she was but now I see how it could have been a bit much.

I stop at the sight of a body standing over a recently made up grave.

Murphy.

===========

"WHAT THE FUCK GUYS?!" Murphy comes rushing into camp about an hour after Bellamy and Clarke get back from the cliff.

Bellamy hides his guilt for Charlotte for a second, seeing Murphy.

"Your alive."

"No shit. No thanks to you. I had to hide for hours and I never knew when to come out or when you would come after me. Turns out. Never."

"We were going to. But some stuff got in the way."

"Fuck your stuff. I could have died!" Murphy pushes into Bellamy's chest but he doesn't budge.

"Murphy you need to calm down."

"WHY?! I was left for dead by my own group."

"You can be mad at me. After I show you something."

Murphy stops for a moment.

"What? What could be so important that I can't beat you up right now."

\--------

I watch as Bellamy brings Murphy to Atom's body beside the drop ship.

Murphy just stares for a moment before getting on his knees next to the body. I can see no sign of feeling on his face. But I do see a hint of anger in his eyes.

"Who did it?"

"We don't know yet. The toxic fog killed him."

"We have to figure out who sent out that fog. We need to avenge him."

Murphy stands up with a sudden determination.

"I actually agree with him for once."

Clarke comes up.

"But what if their more dangerous in person. What if our group is affected?"

Bellamy is obviously against the idea. I can see both their points but my eyes are stuck on Murphy. The way he stops listening. Even though he started the conversation.

The way he stares down at the body.

It's interesting.

"What happened to if we need to fight. We fight?"

"Someone died. Two people died."

Clarke looks away, affected by his words.

"There will be a small funeral for Atom in the woods. Spread the word. If anyone wants to come they can."

\----------

Hours pass and I hear the digging of dirt behind me as I stand watch.

Must be the funeral.

I go with my curiosity and walk towards the noise, hiding behind a tree nearby.

"I'm sorry Murphy. That no one came."

Bellamy starts to dig up the soft dirt, stacking it in front of Murphy's feet.

"I don't care. He wouldn't have. He didn't want to be liked he wanted to be powerful."

Bellamy looks up at Murphy for a second, but then continues digging in silence.

I can see the anger on Murphy's face now. The anger I could only see in his eyes before has spread. And something tells me as long as it keeps spreading, the more he'll succumb to the evil inside of him.

I mean he was bad before, but seeing him evil. He'll probably get himself killed with revenge.

But... why should I care?

He's a dick.

Once Bellamy drops the body into the hole, Murphy begins to push the dirt into the hole once again. He does so quickly and gets farther on his knees as he pats the dirt down.

"I'll find who did this to you."

==========

I feel a bit bad for him.

But not enough to feel sorry for him.

I don't take another second to stare at him and keep walking along the edge.


	15. The Death of Clarke Griffin

** BELLAMY **

I stare at her for a moment, before giving in.

"Ok."

I respect her decision. The fact that she could be so brave after everything that's happened.

All this talk about floating, I start to remember how it felt when my mom was floated. The fact that she didn't deserve it. But that's what the Ark was.

Unfair.

I knew how it felt to lose someone important to me just as Clarke had. And that's why I tried so hard to protect Octavia. To the point of coming down here.

"Are you sure you want your wristband off? A hundred percent sure?"

She stares at me for a while. Then she nods.

I pick up one of the clamps under a log near the fire where Murphy hid it.

He won't be able to get mad at me, because he's not here. Now that I think about it, no one's out here. Good.

Don't want them to see me being all buddy buddy with Clarke.

She stares at the metal with sharp inside.

"Don't back out now."

I tried to tease but she glared at me.

"No way I'd back out. She deserves this."

She holds out her wrist, and I can't lie I'm a bit shocked that she's actually going through with this.

The princess is being rebellious.

I grab onto her wrist before picking up the bolt cutter tool and hooking it into the middle of the metal. "It won't hurt. So don't worry about that." She nods, keeping her eyes on the wristband.

I stare at her as she closes her eyes, waiting for me to cut.

I smirk to myself, not being able to stop myself as I inch closer to her.

I peck her cheek.

She moves back, widening her eyes open.

"W-what was that for?"

I almost want to laugh at the death ridden look on her face.

"Well, if your going to die, then you would obviously want a kiss goodbye from the one and only Bellamy Blake."

My smirk grows longer and she glares at me. I feel a smack coming on.

"Your an ass."

She rolls her eyes.

I keep my eyes on her for a long moment, taking in her more relaxed face. Even if it came at hate for me.

I quickly regain myself, focusing on the cut.

And with a hard push....

There's a hard snap.

The metal is quickly cut and falls to the ground with a small thump. I throw the cutters back down, close to where they laid before.

I pick up the broken wristband, and throw it easily into the fire.

"Now your dead. Enjoy it."

** CLARKE **

Bellamy stares at the ground for a moment before getting up to walk to the drop ship.

He was actually tolerable for a little bit. But he quickly changed as if his whole exterior was iced.

Like he won't let anyone in.

I look off to where he left and my eyes spot Finn.

Who I haven't seen for what feels like a long while.

He's leaning against the drop ship, with a thoughtful look on his face.

He doesn't seem to notice me staring.

========

"Listen Clarke, I may not like it but I can't do this all by myself. I can't lead this camp alone."

I sit up, paying attention.

"So what are you saying? You want me to be a leader?"

I stare at him and he sighs.

"How about Co-leaders. Just don't brag about it."

"Deal."

Finally, something kind of good comes out of this night.

========

I ignore Finn for a moment, thinking back to that night.

We agreed to be leaders together, knowing we couldn't deal with all the decisions and death alone but he won't even try to let me in.

I know I should probably just give him space.

I need a distraction from my work life.

FInn finally lands his eyes on me and tries to put a flirtatious smile on his face. I can tell he's acting. But I smile back at him and get up to walk over.

He flips his hair a bit.

He has this whole bad boy vibe about him which is probably why every girl loves him so much. Especially Octavia and I don't want to deal with her. But why should I care right now.

I achem once I'm close enough for him to hear me.

"Hey princess."

"Wanna go for a walk?"

I don't waste any time and he nods.

\-----------

As we walk, I stare at the grass that pours over the land. It took about an hour of walking but it was absolutely worth it to see this. Something so beautiful needs to be seen.

Flowers peek out of the tall grass just enough to see how colorful and pretty they are.

We walk up to the cliff and I quickly remember her.

I know it's terrible to say her and not her name but her name has become full of bad memories and feelings.

I wish it didn't. But it did.

I sit on the grass, my knees hanging over the edge as I stare at the mountains on the other side. All gray and barely any patches of grass but a little snow can be seen if you look close enough.

Looking down, I see trees all over that I can barely see the ground.

"Beautiful."

I feel Finn next to me, taking in the same sights.

"It really is. Makes me almost forget about everything that's happened over the past few days."

I start to blank out, as I look down.

"I'm sorry. About what happened. If we need to leave this cliff.."

"No. I'm fine. I can't just forget everything that happened."

I see him fidget as he tries to regain his composure.

"How about you? Something seems to have been bothering you. I haven't seen you for a while."

He doesn't look over at me and instead his face darkens.

"I've been thinking alot. About those boys. About death. How I should have just stayed in my seat and maybe everything would have been better. How they would be able to live lives."

I stare at him, seeing a side of him I haven't ever seen.

"To be honest I kind of envy them."

He finally looks at me.

"They got to die thinking everything would be ok. Having hope. Having fun. While we're down here. Faced with death and having our hope slip away."

I take a deep breath, taking in the scenery once again.

"I know you blame yourself and you might for a long time. But it's not all your fault. Those belts should have been reinforced."

I try to joke, and he slightly smiles trying to lighten up.

"Your a good guy. Just made mistakes. Now it's up to you to move on and start a new life down here. Don't think of what could have been. Think of what you can make happen to make up for it."

He looks away.

"You know it is beautiful."

"You said that."

"Let me finish. Don't be impatient."

He chuckles to himself, the darkness lifting slightly.

I wait for him to go on.

"It's beautiful. But not as beautiful as you."

I almost want to slap him for that bad pick up line.

"So cheesy..."

His hand raises up to my cheek and stops there. I turn to face him and he starts to lean in.

"Hey.. cheesy works.."

Feeling connected to him in this moment, I don't back away and let him kiss me. It feels unusual and I can't say I have much experience with romance, but it feels... weird.

It's not that I don't feel anything for him, it's just what I do feel for him is more a friend like feeling.

But I ignore that feeling and just kiss him.

He scooches back a bit as I climb on top of him. I start to pull up his shirt.

Not before long both our shirts are off and even though it's cold outside, the heat and sweat radiating off our bodies keeps us warm. All these thoughts fill my head as I grab his hair.

The same color as Bellamy's.

I shake off the thought and caress my hands through his greasy hair.

\---------

I open my eyes to see the sun still out and beaming onto my face.

I glance over at Finn and see him still sleeping.

I take my hand off his chest as I slip on my nearby shirt before clothing myself fully.

It's freezing out.

Once I'm up and ready I stare down at Finn.

Wow. So I slept with Finn. Interesting.

I said Octavia could have him yet I was the one who ended up sleeping with him.

I shake off my thoughts as I head back to camp.

It was a split second decision. A terrible one, but I can't go back now.

He can get himself back to camp.

\---------

I sort out my hair situation, combing my hands down through my hair as I stand behind a tree.

Hair. Check.

Clothes. I look down. Check.

"Hey Clarke."

I jump up at the sound and see Wells behind me. Up.

I quickly regain my composure.

"Wait. Your supposed to be resting."

He achems.

"Wells! You were stabbed!"

"You make it sound worse than it was."

"YOU WERE STABBED!"

"I'm fine Clarke. I need to walk around to fully heal. You know that's true."

I go to speak or yell but quickly bite my tongue as he looks at me like he needs to do this.

"...If I see you lifting anything heavy I'll slap you."

He holds up his hands in defense.

"I know you will."

I have no idea why he's so happy to be working.

I guess it's better to be on watch than to be building tents under Bellamy's order.

He raises an eyebrow and I know I've been caught.

"Now it's my turn to be the parent. Where were you?"

I open my mouth, hoping an excuse will just come out. But no such luck.

"Uhh.. You see..."

Nothing.

"I saw you leave with Finn." A smirk grows on his face and I can tell he already knows. I want to decline whatever he's thinking, but it's too true.

All I can do is sigh in defeat.

"I needed a distraction."

"Oh and humping spacewalker was the only way."

"Ew. Never say hump and spacewalker in the same sentence again."

He lets his judgmental expression down.

"Distraction from Charlotte?"

At the sound of her name, I wander off with my eyes.

"She was just so young. And I hate that she hurt you but at the same time... We could have just kicked her out. I know Bellamy already said she was gone, but..."

I lean against a tree.

"To see her die that way... Not being able to even bury her."

I feel his arms wrap around me.

"It's alright Clarke. Everything's supposed to happen in the way it's meant to. She's in a better place."

I remove myself from him in a second of anger.

"How can anyone know that? How can anyone have faith after what's happened so far? We're probably gonna die and we can't do anything about it."

The rage lowers as soon as it came.

He grabs onto my shoulders, making me stare him right in the eyes.

"Look, if we didn't end up here we wouldn't have learned to survive on our own. And we probably wouldn't have become friends again. So yes. I have faith. Not because I know. But because I have hope."

"At least one of us does."

I take in a deep breath, suddenly feeling tired.

"I don't know if I'll ever truly have faith again. But thanks for trying to help. I couldn't do this without you."

I try to make a smile form across my lips.

"There's nothing you have to worry about. We're all here. All safe. Try to relax for once."

I shake my head.

"I wish that were true. But not all of us are here. And there's so much more to worry about now. There are new threats and stuff trying to kill us back and forth."

I look up.

"I have to be strong. Bellamy has to strong. We all have to be strong and can't let our guard down."

I tear his hands off my shoulders gently and he looks at me with solemn.

"Your right. I just wish you weren't."

\---------

As it starts to run into night, I walk outside and see people making some finishing touches on tents already made.

Bellamy has been busying himself lately with making these tents for everybody. He's only gotten 10 down but that's way more than we had before. And with all the hard work you have to go through to make even one...

I'm starting to worry for him.

Totally as just a co leader type way. I can't deal with everything by myself so he better not go and die from overworking.

I see Bellamy letting everyone else work for once as he sips something from a cup in his hands.

I see Monty has gotten back to making drinks.

We all have ways of dealing with grief.

Once I see him look over at me, I flash him a small smile and walk back into the drop ship. The smile faltering.

My way of dealing is pretending it's not there.

Pretending I'm fine.

** BELLAMY **

I'm warming up by the fire with my moonshine, Monty gave me the recipe since he wouldn't be leaving Jaspers side any time soon, when I feel eyes on me. I look and see Clarke staring at me but then give me a small smile.

Almost as if the smiles not there before she walks back in.

Hmm.

** CLARKE **

I see Finn enter as he looks around and then drops his eyes on me.

"Hey babe. Thanks for leaving me out there all alone."

As he comes over to kiss me on the cheek, I move away.

"Are you ok?"

I give him the most regretful look I can.

"Look Finn. What we did was fun. But it was just a distraction for me. I'm sorry if you thought it was more. I think we should just stay friends."

He stares for a moment and the looks away letting out a small chuckle. A sad small chuckle.

"Right. Of course. If that's what you want."

He puts on a smile.

"Thank you."

"But If you ever want something more, I'm here."

I nod, trying to be friendly.

But I know I won't want something more.

** BELLAMY **

I look up at the sky, the clouds slightly visible as the stars start to shine out.

Life is so fucked up, but the sky still stays beautiful.

Suddenly, I see something zooming down in the sky. I squint my eyes in confusion. There shouldn't be any drop ships.

I took care of that.

They should be scared shitless and never come down here.

There's a large explosion heard throughout camp.

I swear I can feel the rumble even from over here. I stand up, slightly frazzled by these turn of events.

"EVERYONE STAY BACK! I'LL GO CHECK IT OUT!"


	16. Revelations

** BELLAMY **

Everyone around me starts to whisper, but I ignore it as I start for the explosion. I don't even get Clarke. She can't see what I'm about to do.

I start for the source of the smoke erupting through the trees.

I just hope Clarke didn't notice. But from what I heard, I doubt that's likely.

I just need to hurry before it gets too dark and before they come after the noise.

\----------

I stop once I see a greyish blackish space pod in the middle of a clearing. Dead grass is all around it and the pod is fuming from the crash.

Large amounts of smoke puff into the air.

My heart race starts to quicken as I close in.

It's not big enough for a drop ship.

I wipe the dust off the window with my sleeve to see a lady stuck inside. No more than 25 years old. She's in the only seat of the pod and she looks like she's unconscious.

It doesn't take even a second for me to notice a radio right next to her.

If she contacts the Ark everyone will figure out what I did.

I can't let that happen.

If that happens, then they'll kill me and take me away from O.

I grab onto the bottom of the glass lid of the pod and start to pull it up. I grunt and use all my might. And after a few seconds of hardcore pulling up, I hear a sizzling noise.

I pull it up further.

I stare at the girl for a moment. I need to do this. I know I should make sure she's ok but I need to do this first.

I pull out the radio with a swift motion and pull it close to my chest.

I look around, making sure no ones around before darting for the river close by.

\---------

Staring at the river and then at the radio, I pull back my arm ready to throw it in with all my strength. Hoping to break it in the process.

Here goes nothing.

With a last thought, and with no hesitation, I heave the radio into the crashing water.

A splash and then a thunk is all I hear as I turn to go back to camp.

Mission Accomplished.

\------------

Once I'm back at camp, I see Clarke and Finn talking near the drop ship in a secretive way. Also now that I see them, in a really close way.

I quickly march on over and lean on the ship near them.

Both of them stare at me with weird looks.

"So what's going on here?"

I achem.

Clarke raises an eyebrow.

"Well, Finn says he heard a crash and thinks it might be another ship. I don't know if we should go check it out because what if it's a trap. What do you think."

I nod my head, pretending to think like I don't know what's going on.

"I thought I heard a crash too. I think we should go check it out in case of supplies. If it is a trap, we can handle it."

I see the doubt still in her face. But I also see that she's thinking about what I said instead of just contradicting it.

Maybe this whole co leaders thing could work out.

Maybe.

"Ok. get a group together and We'll meet by the fire."

I raise an eyebrow this time as she acts like she's the only one in charge.

"I mean... How does that sound Bellamy?"

I put a smile on.

"Sounds great. Meet there in 10." I pat her shoulder before heading around camp to put together a group.

** CLARKE **

Better go see if Monty wants to come along, even though I know it's gonna be a no with Jasper still injured.

I just don't want there to be anymore problems.

I climb up.

"Hey guys there's a group forming and we were-"

I stop myself as I see Jasper on the edge of the table with his feet dangling. And Monty over by the counter, preparing something.

I can feel a sort of tension in the air.

"What's up guys?"

Monty stops preparing whatever it is he's preparing and Jasper sighs.

"Let me guess.... You got into a fight."

I make my own assumptions as no one speaks.

"He wants to go out when he's still injured."

I can hear the frustration in Monty's voice as he drops the knife he was holding and turns around to face us. His hands clasp onto the counter behind him.

"It's my choice Monty. I'm fine. I can handle this."

Jasper pleads with Monty and I can tell that I shouldn't be in the middle of this.

I duck out silently.

** MONTY **

"Look, I'm not against it to make you feel like less of a man or something. I just don't want you to get even more hurt while your still fragile."

I ease up a bit as I take a deep breath.

"Monty. I said i'm fine."

He raises his voice a bit more.

"Well I'm not Jasper! YOU ALMOST DIED!"

I turn around again as I slam one of my fists into the metal of the counter. I feel the pain course through my fingers but I ignore it for a moment.

The knife somehow juggles up and I realize I hit it with my fist.

"MONTY!"

I hear Jasper and then footsteps before I feel something ram into me.

We tumble to the ground as I hear the knife fall with a clatter.

I open my eyes to see Jasper lift himself off me and groan. He falls back down to the ground on his back.

"Fuck.. That hurts..."

I breathe heavily and whatever just happened replays back in my head.

I see the knife where I was standing.

I could have been seriously injured.

"I guess you're right. I'm sorry Monty."

Jasper lets out a small chuckle and i can't stop myself from laughing with him. The room quickly fills with our laughter. I don't know if it was from almost being stabbed or what...

But all I know is there's been too much stabbing around here lately and laughing feels good.

Especially with Jasper by my side again.

"I think I'm just gonna lay here for a while."

"Yeah me too."

Good thing Mothra was in his little case next to Jaspers bed.

At least we know he's ok too.

** BELLAMY **

"Where's Monty?"

"Yeah. Their not coming out anytime soon."

Clarke gathers her little group and I gather my big one up.

I try not to rub it in that I have more people.

"Ready?"

She rolls her eyes, knowing what I'm thinking.

"If your ready, I'm ready princess."

She scoffs. Finn ignores my comment as he walks ahead with Clarke.

Why should they be in front?

Why is he even in front?

I feel like they've gotten too close lately. I just hope they don't show any PDA. Or else I'll have to throw up.

I'm already starting to feel sick.

\--------

Soon we're all at the pod and I look around, making sure nothing is out of the ordinary from when I was last here.

"Why is this open?"

Clarke draws near the pod, touching the glass looking exterior.

"Maybe it opened when it crashed princess... ever thought of that?"

I try not to act suspicious.

"Maybe your right."

She peeks into the open space.

"Someone's in here! Help me get them out."

I rush to her side, hearing mumbling from inside the pod. I help Clarke push the pod door up further.

The girl inside, with black hair and tannish skin starts to cough from the ash that must have entered her lungs in the crash. Clarke unbuckles her seatbelt as she starts to help her up out of the pod.

Being the strength of the group, I help out by throwing her arm over my shoulders.

Me and Clarke look at each other and then nod our heads as we pull her out and set her feet onto the ground. We wait until she stops standing like she's about to pass out before letting her go.

She wobbles once more but before we can help she stands up by herself.

"Raven?"

A voice is heard from the crowd.

Finn comes out and stares at the girl with wide eyes.

She smiles ecstatic, like she's been waiting to see him for years.

"Finn."

So I guess they know each other.

I look at Clarke who's confused just as much as me as she stares at the scene. Raven jumps into Finn's arms and plants a big kiss on him before anyone can say anything.

I peek at Clarke who tries to play it off like she doesn't care but she has to care at least a little bit.

She came back to camp after hours and then Finn came back with the biggest grin on his face as if he was on top of the world.

I knew they slept together.

The kiss goes on for a long while as we all just stare. Clarke instead stops watching like she's done and starts searching through the pod like shes on a mission to find something.

Sure as hell hope it wasn't the radio.

Raven moves away, her smile not fading.

Clarke looking shocked, goes up to Raven as if she's gonna ask about something. But Finn beats her to the punch.

I see time to run away and slowly back towards the woods.

If they don't see me after figuring out the radio is gone...Maybe they won't blame me. But Clarke already knows my circumstances on coming down here aren't all straightforward.

But maybe I can play that off.

But wouldn't it be weird for the leader to be gone? I stop myself.

Maybe I went hunting? I start again.

Hunting? Right now? With all this drama? I stop.

"Oh and Raven this is Clarke. She was on the drop ship with me. She's my...friend."

I can almost feel the smile on his face and the glare on Ravens. Catfight?

"Wait... Clarke?"

Raven turns to Clarke and looks almost excited. The other percentage of her expression being surprised.

"Your mom sent me."

Clarke looks interested but I also know how mad she was at her mother.

"It doesn't matter right now. What matters is finding the radio."

She starts to sound like a leader.

As I see them going to the pod again I start to panic. Realizing their only way out of this is to talk to the Ark. I see it's my cue to leave...

"I didn't want to believe this before. But some people said they saw Bellamy head to the pod before anyone else. And remember he didn't want the Ark to come down."

I don't have a choice anymore.

I hear quick footsteps behind me. I zig zag through the forest, hoping they can't catch up to me. It's not the whole group following but I hear at least three people.

Finally, knowing I'm not gonna get out of the without looking suspicious I start walking slower. I hear one set of footsteps get close enough.

"Where is it Bellamy?"

I hear the sting in her voice.

I pretend like I don't hear the question but then turn around and widen my eyes playfully.

"Hey princess, you taking a walk in the woods? I didn't see you there."

She glares at me with razor sharp eye contact.

"Stop playing around Bellamy."

I see the anger in her eyes. Maybe it was having to chase after me or maybe it's because I'm guilty. Maybe even both.

"Their getting ready to kill to save oxygen so if you know where the radio is, tell us."

Raven interrupts our glares back and forth. I sigh and my eyes wander from theirs.

"Bellamy, I guarantee you it won't be council members they'll be killing. It will be your people."

She softens her eyes as if she knows that will work on me.

She knows nothing about me.

Those people up there aren't my people. These people down with me are.

"Where's the radio?"

Clarke's eyes start to bore into mine. Her greenish eyes that remind me of the very lake I threw the radio into.

I want to answer, but even if I do, it will be no use.

It's in the water.

I can't leave my sister. Not now.

"I have no idea what your talking about."

I feel somewhat sorry. She had just started to at least endure me and I had to throw that all away for some stupid radio.

"Wait. Before... Did you say Bellamy? Like Bellamy Blake?"

I look up wide eyed to Raven.

How does she know my whole name?

"Their looking for you everywhere."

I start to walk closer with my hands turning into fists. Clarke puts her hand on my chest before I can move any further.

"Shut up. If you want to live you'll shut your mouth."

I can see her rebellious side showing with her expression.

Fuck.. fuck...

What do I do?

"Why are they looking for him?"

Clarke looks over at Raven with confusion all over her face. I want it to stay that way. I want Clarke to stay in the dark about what I did.

I keep staring into Raven's eyes as my anger turns into a kind of pleading.

Please don't tell her. I can't have her hating me.

I can't believe things have changed only in a few days. I used to want her to only hate me. But if she hates me..

"He shot Chancellor Jaha"

The silence envelopes everyone. Time feels like it's stopped. Her hand slides off my chest.

I don't want to see her face right now now. I don't want to see how she'll act.

But I look anyways. And see her piecing it all together.

Everything's falling apart.

**CLARKE**  
I feel like I can't move as my hand falls off Bellamy's chest.

I can't believe it at first. But then it all starts to make sense. Why he couldn't have the Ark come down.

"That's why you took the wristbands off."

I whisper, feeling betrayed.

"... And all that whatever the hell we want speech? You just cared about saving your own skin! You didn't care about anyone but yourself and your sister!"

I don't know if it was because I felt betrayed but I couldn't contain my feelings.

I took a few steps away from him and towards Raven.

"Ok. Yes. It started out that way but then I got down here. Everything changed."

I look away as Raven takes out her gun from her back pocket and points it at Bellamy.

I can't even look him in the eyes.

He shot my best friends father and then talked about what was best for this group when he didn't even know what was best. He was just some scared guy.

A guy I had actually admired.

"Where is my radio?"

Raven threatens him and all I can do is look at the leaves.

Bellamy then said something I never thought I'd hear him say. Something I never wanted to hear him say.

"Jaha deserved to die. You all know that."

How can he say someone deserved to die? I thought I had started to know him...

"He isn't my most favorite person either but that doesn't mean he deserved to die. He had a family. Wells. He had Wells."

I come out and yell, looking into his dark brown eyes. His eyes are filled with a certain sadness and regret as he looks at me.

"I had a family too..."

I feel guilt. I know I shouldn't. But I do.

His mom had to be sent off into space also for having a kid which wasn't even her fault. I get that. But...

"Charlotte tried to kill Wells because of that same reasoning. And your saying its ok now?"

"No. Clarke.. I didn't mean it like that."

"Guys...he isn't dead."

Raven comes out. We both widen our eyes and dart them towards her.

"What?"

I hear the surprise in Bellamy's voice.

"You're a lousy shot."

I still feel a bit angry at Bellamy for even taking the shot, but I walk up to him and grab his wrist. He looks into my eyes as he's still processing everything.

"Bellamy. Don't you see what this means? Your not a murderer."

I can see a bit of relief escape through his eyes.

"I know you always did what you did to protect your sister. That's just who you are."

"...And you can do it again. By protecting your people. Where is the radio?"

A darkness looms over him as his relief turns into guilt.

"It's too late..."


	17. Explosions and Shooting Stars

** CLARKE **

We follow behind Bellamy as we close in on a river.

Bellamy points to the middle of the river where a black box is seen stuck between two rocks.

Fuck.

Finn hurries into the water, soaking half of his body in the water. He grabs the box and heads back towards us as quickly as he can. He places the box on the grass next to us.

It looks absolutely useless as it drips with water.

Raven picks up the object as she turns it up and over, examining it.

"I actually think I can fix this."

It's not repaired yet but if it can be, then maybe Bellamy can have some solace in that fact. Don't be tricked. I'm still mad.

But I know he's trying.

If he could have tried not to throw the radio into the river though, that would have been way better.

\----------

As we walk back, I hear a chuckle.

I see Finn as the source.

"Why the hell are you laughing? At a time like this?"

Bellamy furrows his eyebrows.

"I was just thinking since we don't have the radio yet how funny it would be to send up flares to space and write letters with the fire. It's impossible but hilarious depending on the writing."

He has some weird sense of humor.

Ok that idea was dumb. But maybe there's a not so dumb idea somewhere in there.

"We have rockets from the drop ship."

We all stop. I think we can do this.

"We could use the rockets to show them we're alive. It might not be the best plan but it's a start until the radios fixed."

I look over at Raven, the technician, waiting to see if she thinks it would work.

"It might just work. We should get back to your camp and start the plans right away."

\---------

Once I was back, I rushed up the ladder and over to Monty who was finishing cleaning up Monty's wound.

"Hey Monty."

"Hey Clarke,"

He place the bandage over Jasper's wound as I close in on his ear.

"We need your help down here. I'm whispering in your ear so Jasper doesn't feel left out but maybe he'll have some fun and think it's some top secret mission in Jasper imagination land."

Monty moves away and smiles.

"What? What is it Monty."

Monty just flashes a smile towards Jasper as I start to pull him over with me.

"Jasper, I'm taking Monty. Hope you don't get too lonely."

I wink at him.

He looks at us with suspicious eyes but we don't break.

\--------

We made the plans fairly quickly within a few hours. We just had to figure out how to get them up into space but we needed to have some launchers so Raven got to work on that boring stuff.

We're almost ready to launch.

It didn't take as long as I thought launching rockets into the air would be.

"I'll be right back."

Monty zoomed back into the drop ship as we were nearing launch time.

** MONTY **

I went upstairs and lifted Mothra's cage.

"Where are you taking my baby? What is going on?"

I reluctantly looked up at Jasper.

"Jasper. I didn't think you should get up."

He bores his eyes into mine.

"Monty. You can't keep things from me. And if you take Mothra without telling me why I will pounce on you. And we'll both get hurt."

"OK Ok. We're laughing rockets into the air OK BYE!"

I start to run off once I have Mothra in my hands.

"HEY HEY HEY!!"

I stop.

"Your gonna take Mothra but not me? It would be like fireworks. Montyyyy..."

"Jasper don't be like that. You've seen fireworks before."

"Yeah on a tape. And it wasn't even that cool. Come on. I can't not be there for my baby's first firework show."

I stared at him for a second. And then another second as he widened his eyes into puppy dog eyes.

"Fine. Jasper. But once it's over your back to resting."

"YES YES YES!"

I put Mothra in my pocket and wrapped an arm under Jasper's to help him up.

** CLARKE **

As I wait inside the drop ship for launch time, I start to pace.

Wells is on a chair next to me.

"I know he did it to protect his sister. But he tried to kill your dad Wells."

He sighed.

"I don't even know why you care that much about this. But Clarke like you said he needed to protect his sister so he had to come down here. Just like I had to come down here to protect you."

I stopped in front of him.

"But that's the point. You didn't try to kill anyone to come down here."

"I didn't have to. I'm under 18. If he tried to get arrested he would have been floated with no hesitation. He had more riding on this. He's older than twenty Clarke."

I looked away.

"And Clarke his sole purpose wasn't to kill my dad. If it had been, my dad would be dead."

"You make a good point... He is a good shot."

Wells gets up and puts his hands on my shoulders.

"He's proven himself just like anyone else here. Just like you. He would protect this group with his life. He made mistakes. But we all have."

I hear someone enter behind us.

"It's time."

I see Bellamy give me a heads up. He stares at me for a second, his eyes still full of guilt.

"Bellamy. By the way I don't blame you for shooting my dad. I've wanted to multiple times."

Wells speaks up and Bellamy's shoulders unstiff a bit.

He leaves without another word.

I look over to Wells.

"What? We have to give him a chance Clarke. He's not that bad. He even helped you save my life."

I look outside to where he left.

I don't know why it's so hard for me to accept he's a good person.

Maybe because he's lied to us ever since we got down here.

\----------

We all gather outside.

Bellamy finishes helping put a rocket on a launcher and Raven takes a wire from the end of the launchers. She takes a stick with some fire on it and gestures for everyone to be ready.

Bellamy backs up and ends up beside me.

I'm still on my guard around him but I understand why he did what he did. And if Wells the overprotective brother type can give him a chance after all of this. I should be able to too.

I wander my eyes to look around the giant group. Multiple missing but a lot still here. I see Monty and Jasper standing next to each other all giddy as they put Mothra on Jasper's shoulder.

They look up with lights in their eyes waiting for the show.

I smile.

My eyes wander back up to the sky as Raven starts to count down.

"3..."

"2..."

"1..."

The rockets set off with a hiss once Raven places the stick against the wire. She moves back and the fire spreads through the wires to each of the rockets.

Their soon launching into space as red and orange envelopes the sky.

The darkness isn't seen for once as all there is are colors.

"Do you think they can see it from up there?"

His voice is the only one I hear through the hissing and explosions. Almost like shooting stars.

I shrug.

"My only question is... can you wish on this kind of shooting star?"

I feel his eyes on me. I try to smile.

"Forget it. I wouldn't even know what to wish for."

I roll my eyes. I'm guessing he would wish for beer, parties, and girls.

But... lately maybe not.

"What about you?"

I raise an eyebrow.

"Oh so Bellamy Blake actually cares about what I want now? Could have taken that radio..."

He looks away.

"Look. Clarke I really am sorry... I just-"

"I know. You needed to be near your sister."

"Yeah."

"And. Actually I think I can forgive you. I would have done the same thing for Wells if I was in your shoes. Oldie."

He scoffs, rolling his eyes and I let a smile crawl up my lips.

"Your forgiveness is all I could wish for."

My smile fades, every molecule in my body stopping.

"I mean. If you didn't forgive me I would have had to deal with you hating me. And all those annoying lectures..."

I shake my head, chuckling to myself.

"Of course."

The colors were still in the sky, brightening all our faces.

"Too bad my wish was to be able to give you more lectures."

"You didn't."

"Mmmm."

I'm the one smirking for once.

** BELLAMY **

I see her whole tough guy exterior lighten up.

But even so I keep seeping that look of betrayal on her face only a few hours ago.

It worked out in the end. But what if it hadn't?

Would we even be beside each other right now?

"I should go check on Octavia"

** MURPHY **

Sitting under one of the trees near Atom's grave, I stare out at the crowd.

Gathering up for some stupid light show while the real problems still out there. Those threats. Idiots. They killed Atom. They killed the one guy I actually respected.

Bellamy could never live up to his name.

He cares too much and that's what's going to get him killed. He can try to act all emotionless and tough but he'll never actually be those things. Atom should have been the leader.

Then maybe we might actually get some work done.

But like I said.

Idiots.


	18. Grounder Sighting

** WELLS **

Walking around, I see Murphy staring out at the crowd looking at everyone like their simpletons.

I guess in his mind everyone is.

In little old Murphyville.

I wander over to him.

Once he sees me, he rolls his eyes and groans in annoyance.

"Why the hell are you here? Want to resume that fight?"

I scoff.

"I don't think you could be ready to fight right now. Moonshine?"

I lean down my drink for him to take.

"I'm always ready to fight and no. I don't want you to think I could ever want to be friends with you."

"I'm offering you a drink after you lost someone. It's not like I'm giving you a friendship bracelet. Come on. Take it."

"No!"

He knocks the drink out of my hand and quickly raises his body up like a scared squirrel.

"What is wrong with you?!"

I stare down at the drink, soaking into the grass.

A total waste of moonshine.

He doesn't answer and just keeps walking deeper and deeper into the forest.

I don't even know why I tried.

** BELLAMY **

I wander around, searching.

"Octavia? OCTAVIA?!"

I've been yelling for minutes and still no answer back.

I start to feel a twinge of worry. Okay more than a twinge.

I climb up the ladder, the cold metal warming my skin with each grab.

No sign of her.

I jump down, a slight pain coursing from my feet.

The more than a twinge starts to grow bigger.

I rush back outside and scan the faces hoping she's hiding in the crowd.

No.

I run back to Clarke.

"Have you seen Octavia?"

My voice is rushing and my heart is racing.

"No. What's wrong?"

I zoom one glance around me before landing my eyes back on her.

"I can't find her."

My head is racing.

She was the one person I came down here for. To protect and now I don't even know where the fuck she is.

"Bellamy calm down."

She grabs onto my wrist, causing my eyes to land on her.

"She's probably just taking a walk. If you freak out, that will make everything worse."

The chatter around us dials down.

"I'll help you find her."

She lets go of my wrist and we start to walk towards the woods.

"Thank you."

"Hey. I'm only doing this so Jaha's gunshot wound wasn't worth nothing. You came down for her."

She grabs two seperate wrists and pulls them gently over to our small group.

"What are you doing Clarke?"

Jasper asks with concern as she lets go of his wrist once he winces.

"We need your help. Octavia's missing."

Jasper and Monty look at each other.

"I WOULD LOVE TO GET OUT OF HERE!"

Jasper yells in excitement. But stops and achems as Monty stares at him.

"If Monty's alright with it. Of course."

Monty doesn't speak.

"Monty. Octavia's missing. Worst that can happen is we find her in a ditch. No offence Bellamy."

"Offence taken."

I'm already freaking out.

Monty's eyes turn to Clarke, completely ignoring Jasper's pleading eyes.

"This mission won't end in death right? Because I won't let Jasper go in that case."

"It should be fine. I wouldn't even ask him to come if I thought it would hurt him."

Monty glances at Jasper.

"Ok. We'll go."

\-------------

We've been walking for at least thirty minutes and there has been no sign of her. I start to feel that worry again.

What if something bad happened to her?

Now I'm feeling a bit scared.

"Can we sit down or something? I'm dyinnnnggggg..."

Jasper is leaning on Monty for dear life.

"You wanted to get out of camp and now you complaining about getting out of camp. What's wrong with you?"

Monty tries to remove the glued Jasper off of him but Jasper wraps his arms around Monty's neck tighter.

"Nooooo! Your the only thing keeping me alive!"

He snuggles his head into Monty's shoulder as Monty continues to drag Jasper in front of us.

"Your such a baby."

I can see a small smile from Monty, like he's trying to keep it inside.

"We should check that cave."

I look back at Clarke who points at a dark bunch of rocks.

"We can see if she's in there and let Jasper rest."

I nod, rushing over as Monty quickens behind me. I hear the dragging of Jasper's feet intensify.

"Thank god."

I hear mumbling as we get closer to the cave.

I hope we find her in there. If she's not I don't know what I'm gonna do. She could get herself killed.

If something's happened to her then what was the use of even coming down here.

It would have been for nothing.

Once we make it to the inside, I gasp as I see O.

I almost smile, ready to pinch her for making me come all the way out here, but I stop when I see a bulky dude next to her of brown coloring. He has rags on for clothes and black paint all over face in lines.

He looks as if he's been here for a long time.

Almost as if...

He's one of the enemies down here.

"GET AWAY FROM MY SISTER!"

I rush over, ready to grab O but she gets up too quick and stops me with a hand to my chest.

I furrow my eyebrows in confusion as she pushes me a bit away.

"Bell. It's alright."

What is going on here?

** MONTY **

I jump in front of Jasper, seeing the built up guy in front of us.

He's not one our ours.

"How is it ok?! He's a grounder! His kind tried to kill Jasper!"

I widen my eyes, yelling with obvious anger.

I hear Jasper's breath shorten as he sees who we're talking to.

"HOW DO WE KNOW HE WASN'T THE ONE WHO SPEARED HIM?!"

I tighten my fists.

Something grips onto my shirt.

"One second Jasper..."

He tugs on my shirt harder.

"Monty... my chest."

I turn around and see Jasper clutching where he got speared as he slouches over. His whole face has become pale and he looks as if he's about to hyperventilate.

"I need air."

I wrap an arm around him and help him to get outside which is only a few feet away.

I set him down on the ground with a few rocks sitting him up.

"Are you ok?"

His breathing begins to regulate.

"I didn't tell you something."

** BELLAMY **

I watch as they leave.

Monty's usually logical but when it comes to someone he truly cares about I know he's like everyone else and would do anything to make sure they made it and keep safe.

I go to follow, but O grabs me.

"I'll go check on them."

Clarke rushes out with a nod from me.

I hope Jasper's okay.

"Listen Bell. I was walking and I got hurt-"

"You shouldn't have been out in the first place. Your supposed to stay in camp."

"I'm not a dog Bell."

"No. Your my sister and I'm supposed to be able to keep you safe. I was worried sick."

"Bell that's not the point. This grounder, which their called, helped me. His name is Lincoln."

This so called Lincoln started to walk closer, but on instinct I pulled my sister closer.

"If he was really as savage as you say his kind was. Then don't you think he would have killed me when I was down."

I look him up and down, wanting to see from my sister's perspective...

But I can't help but want to slit his throat where he stands.

"Bell.. Please... Don't hurt him."


	19. Unity Day

** JASPER **

"How is everything out here?"

Clarke comes out, making sure we're ok.

"We're okay. Just go inside to help Bellamy. Jasper was just shocked."

She nods at Monty's update, hesitating for a second before wandering back into the cave.

"What's wrong Jasper?"

His eyes stare into mine and I close my eyes.

"I started to remember what happened. When I was there. I said there was nothing wrong when you asked but..."

I feel his hands tighten around my wrist.

"You can tell me anything Jasper."

I feel the wound in my chest ache as if it had just been stabbed through. Just like that day.

"I was stabbed and I was lucky to have quickly passed out. But I woke up about halfway through... and they were dragging me by this rope attached to the spear."

I feel my eyelids tighten.

"I was dragged like that for miles... Through water...rocks... and my own blood."

His hand loosens but I continue.

"I lost track of time. Passing in and out every so often. And then I was at their camp. I saw them as they treated my wound." I take a breath. "They looked just like that guy in there. Women and Men. Girls and Boys."

"And then I passed out again and I was on a branch. Waiting to die... Wanting to die."

I open my eyes, watching as Monty looks away with pain in his.

"Why didn't you tell me Jasper?"

He can't look at me.

"Because I didn't want you to be disappointed in how weak I was to the point I was ready to give up."

"I could never. But... why didn't you give up?"

He finally catches my eyes.

"I couldn't. I kept hearing this annoying voice telling me to keep going. And then in that bed I heard the same voice whispering for me to wake up."

I tried to smile. He blushed slightly.

"You heard that?"

I nodded.

"But Jasper if I had known what you went through. We could have went after them. If I heard that I would have followed Murphy's advice."

"Ok first. Never follow Murphy's advice. Second. I didn't want you to hate them."

"But I do anyways for them hurting you."

"Don't Monty."

"Why?"

"Because their trying to survive just like us." I continued. "And you shouldn't have that hate in your heart."

I didn't have any say as he wrapped his arms around me and tightened his hold.

"See. I could never have lived on without you. You were my forgiving side."

I hugged back.

** BELLAMY **

"I'll go back if you don't hurt him. Please Bell."

I stare at the both of them.

I don't like this.

"Bellamy you should agree."

I turn my head to see Monty back with Jasper wrapped around his shoulder. Jasper is avoiding eye contact with the grounder but he seems to be doing better and less like death.

"Why? We could kill him now. Fou- three against one."

Monty looks straight at the grounder.

"I don't like what your kind did to my best friend. But if he can forgive you guys after you stabbed him through the chest. I should be able to too. We are a team after all."

Looks like he's made up his mind.

Plus if we had killed him O would just go on hating me forever.

"Fine. But we're going back to camp. NOW."

She smiles in relief.

She goes over to Lincoln and wraps her arms around him.

He closes his eyes, slightly hugging back.

I still don't understand this. And I'll never like it.

"Come on."

I grab her wrist and pull her away from him.

I kind of wished we could have seen some Monty Grounder action.

"Murphy's not going to like that we kept a Grounder alive."

Clarke sighs at my remark.

"Then he just can't find out. Now let's get back before Wells starts killing."

\----------

It's been a few days since the Grounder interaction. But would you really call it an interaction if the only person he talks to is Octavia?

He's snuck in a few times with the help of Octavia.

None of the group likes it. And Monty still brings Jasper upstairs to avoid him. But the real person I'm worried about is Murphy. He's not usually near the camp since he's mostly out at Atom's grave but words bound to spread sometimes.

I'm just surprised he hasn't heard yet.

But we would know if he had.

Very loudly.

Unless he knows and is keeping quiet to sneak attack. I don't know what's scarier.

But it would be a really bad time for him to do that.

It is Unity Day after all.

I never thought I would be celebrating Unity Day down here.

But Monty is making all the Moonshine he can with the supplies we have and he can find and everyone's preparing for the night of their lives.

My eyes wander to Clarke at the edge of the woods speaking with Lincoln before he leaves.

So we met with the Grounder Princess today, hoping to make a treaty...

But it didn't go so well.

========

"So do we have a deal? We work together with the terms of not killing anyone in your group or mine?"

The grounder princess smirks.

I see her hand head to her belt. I touch the gun in my back pocket, prepared.

"I sort of had other plans. Like I'd sell out to wannabe Grounders."

In a sudden rush, she pulls out a knife ready to stab it into Clarke. But I don't hesitate as I jump towards the threat.

I aim for her arm and shoot near her wrist, making her scream out as the knife drops to the ground.

Clarke stares in disbelief before looking back at me.

She nods.

Just doing my job.

"We don't want to be one of you. If it means killing innocents, I would rather start a war."

=========

It's still kind of up in the air about what's going to happen but I do know that we had to rush out of there.

Lincoln huffs as he leaves.

He was the one who got us the meeting, so it's his ass also on line.

Clarke starts to walk towards the bar where the moonshine is.

"CLARKE!"

She starts heading for me after hearing me call out.

She tries to put on a smile, but I know that smile is bullshit.

"Didn't go so well with the other princess, did it princess?"

She scoffs.

"Obviously not. We might have just started a war and it's only our first month here. Not even a month."

She sighs, looking more exhausted than I've seen her.

She has been staying up a lot lately, trying to figure out how to move forward.

"Better to get into the badness sooner than later. We just have to show how badass we are and they won't even want to come near us."

"If it were only that easy."

"So since it didn't work out with the princess. I think we should meet with the queen. Or whatever you call her."

She looks away.

"The problem is if the princess won't join us, then what makes us think that the queen wi-"

She cuts short, staring up at the sky.

I hear sizzling and turn my head up to see a drop ship just like ours falling down towards us. Orange and red hot flames are under it.

"That has to be my mom. Raven said they would be coming. But she's early..."

I hear the confusion in her voice.

"Where's the parachute?"

I look towards the drop ship again. I see nothing arise from the top of the ship as it comes too close to.

"There isn't one."

Before we know it, there's a violent crash that rumbles the ground and shakes everyone almost off their feet.

It lasts for a while.

I shield my eyes, a hot gust of wind coming towards us.

I look back up, staring in shock as smoke fills the air quickly. Even more than when Raven crashed.

No one could have survived that.

I saw the shock on Clarke's face as she stood frozen in place.

I didn't know where she still stood on her mother, but I knew it wasn't a good place.

We're going to have to check if there are survivors. But if there aren't...

She'll have lost two parents.

Why did this have to happen?

...And on Unity Day?


	20. A Month Later

** CLARKE **

It's been a month.

A month full of too much crap.

Like for one..

My mom.

========

We raced up to the drop ship that suddenly crashed through our atmosphere and into the ground.

No one says anything as we just stare at the scene in front of us.

Fire is coming out of the ship as small sections explode. And then there's the smoke that's wavering everywhere around us, almost making it hard to see.

I hear our group coughing.

I have mixed emotions running through me as I realize my mom was in there. At one point I'm so mad at her it consumes me, but at the other she's my mother and she's dead.

Dead just like my father is.

Which was her fault.

I feel a hand grasp onto my shoulder. I sense Wells trying to comfort me.

"Should we try to search the ship? It's your call Clarke."

Bellamy gives me the choice and I don't know what to do. We could search the ship and have the group be in danger from the explosions over possible survivors which is very unlikely... or should we just let it be?

I don't know what to do.

But then something starts to move from under a pack of rubble near the crash site.

Then there's a head that peeks out and nasty coughs erupt from them.

I see that they have visible cuts and bruises but the ash covering their face makes it impossible to make out who it is. The smoke from the ship has dialed back enough that I can see them crawling out.

"We have to help them."

I order and Bellamy runs towards the ash without a second thought.

My breaths become shallow as I see him struggling to get their leg out from the floor of the ship. The person's hair blows in the wind which causes me to come to the conclusion that the person is female.

Bellamy finally gets her out and starts to bring her over to us with an arm under her shoulders.

As she nears us, I stare at her face with a deep interest.

Then it hits me.

Well's hand leaves my shoulder.

"Mom?"

It can't be.

But she looks up at the sound of my voice and a smile forms on her face as she sees me.

Alive and well.

She limps towards me as Bell removes his hold on her.

I stare in shock and amazement before she wraps her arms around my neck. I don't hug back as every single feeling I had tried to keep buried down came rising up to the surface.

She was down here. She was alive. And I still had all this anger inside of me.

Maybe it would have been different if she did die. Maybe I would have been able to forgive her then and there. But no.

Here she was alive. Escaping death like she did on the Ark when she turned in my father.

Nothing could change that fact.

=========

It's been a whole month and I still haven't forgiven her but I did let her join my group. More like Bellamy made me but she's here.

I try to keep my distance from her. Even after Wells' advice to just talk to her and get everything out in the open.

I don't think I can deal with it all right now.

Especially with the grounders still being a problem.

** FINN **

I wake up with Raven snuggling into my shoulder.

I let out a small smile, but something still feels missing.

I thought being with her would help me move on.

=======

It's been a few days since Raven came back and kissed me in front of Clarke.

I still can't tell if Clarke was bothered or not.

But her and Bell have been on slightly thin ice ever since he came out and said how he shot Chancellor Jaha.

I thought I could slide in and have Clarke all for myself by being by her side and comforting her but then it was like gears switched and they were back to their co leader selves.

I didn't even have time to get a word in.

So I decided to give me and Raven another chance. The only reason it didn't work the first time was that I got arrested and there was this guy on the Ark Raven spent all her time with since they worked together.

Wick.

Made me jealous but she's down here and he's not.

And what made me comforted is the fact that Raven was so excited to see me instead of looking regretful. So I know their relationship didn't go anywhere.

So maybe this could work out.

=========

I thought I could move on.

But I can't stop thinking of Clarke. Especially when her and Bellamy are together.

They say their just leaders together and that's it but they hated each other so if that was it how could they even become leaders. How could they go from hating to being able to stand each other.

Anyone could see that Bellamy has ulterior motives. He has to. He has to want to just get in her pants. It's not like he could ever love someone.

Except his sister.

Clarke needs someone that will be there for her and love only her.

She needs someone like me.

** CLARKE **

I started walking through the forest, finally taking the time to just soak in the sun. It was getting so suffocated at camp and I felt like I could barely breathe. With the problems with my mom adding to my stress I definitely couldn't breathe.

But now I feel like I can think with the calm earth around me.

I heard a rustle in the bushes and turned around to see a stranger. A guy I see around camp barely. A strange feeling of caution coursed through my veins.

"Your supposed to be back at camp."

He put his pockets in his hands as he rolled his eyes.

"Yeah and where are you supposed to be? Out here alone in the woods where anything can hurt you?"

I scoff.

"I can protect myself. So you should stop acting like a stalker or I may have to beat you up."

I don't know him. At all. He usually keeps to himself.

He starts to walk closer to me.

"I followed you to keep an eye on you. Since Bellamy should be busy with other things."

I raise my eyebrows.

"Oh? So being a stalker means protecting someone who doesn't want to be protected? I never knew."

He walks a couple steps closer, making me back up with each step.

"Stop being a smartass."

He closes in and I keep stepping back but suddenly a rough and hard surface stops me.

A tree.

I felt my jaw clench. I looked around, trying to find at least one person around.

No one.

I came here for a reason.

To be alone.

I try to slide to the side, but his hand slams hard onto the bark beside my head.

"Running off, are you? But I just got here."

The smile on his face, causes a ball to form in my stomach.

"Let me go."

I demand but he just put his other hand on my neck.

He trickles his finger down the side. Each inch I feel a shiver from his touch.

I react to nothing he does, standing my ground.

All my warning radars went off once. In a quick motion I kicked up my knee to his balls and he slouched over in pain as a groan escaped his lips.

I tried to move, but he grabbed my leg quick as if he knew what I was about to do.

I kick him again, but he dodges it and rises up to lower his lips down to my neck.

I push him in the chest and he budges slightly, but not enough to stop.

"Your mine now, princess."

My eyes widen.

I want Bell here. I want him to come help me. I need him to.

For some reason he makes me feel safe like no one else can.

No...

Why am I being a little bitch?

I don't need Bell to help me like a scared little princess.

Because I'm not.

I snap out of it and quickly kick him in his shin which makes him move more than the time before. I take the chance to escape and start running towards camp.

The leaves crinkle under my feet as I run.

Suddenly something grabs onto my wrist and he jumps onto me, causing both of us to fall to the ground with him on top of me.

I try to struggle but he's too mad and strong to loosen his grip.

I'm right back where I started.

** MURPHY **

I need to do something.

No one has done anything to give justice to Atom's death. Not even after all I did to insert myself into the meetings.

Somehow that just made things worse.

========

I enter the drop ship where Clarke and Bellamy are going over plans to meet with the Grounder Queen.

Once I enter, I see Wells standing nearby ready for assist.

"What are you doing here?"

Bellamy comes forward and I stand my ground, ready to come back.

"I'm going to be in on this mission. You have to let me go with you guys."

"What are you talking about? This is serious Murphy."

"I know. And I'll be serious. I just need to be there. To see them. To see if they are good people. Then maybe I can forgive them for what they did to Atom."

Bellamy looks back at Clarke who just stares at him with a warning look.

"Come on Bellamy. This has been wrecking me ever since he died. I need closure."

Bellamy's eyes finally fall on me and he lets out a sigh.

"Ok. Fine."

The acting worked.

No way in hell I could forgive them for what they did to Atom.

\-----------

We entered the camp in our small group. Me, Wells, Bellamy, and Clarke.

Their camp was way bigger than ours as they opened their gates to reveal tents everywhere, a big campfire roasting what looked like a giant bird, and people walking around looking like they had a mission.

Well I have a mission too.

It didn't take long before we entered a giant sheet tent and stood in front of the Grounder Queen. Her features were exquisite. Her hair came down beyond her shoulders in a wavy mess that somehow looked elegant.

She sat on a throne made of wood beyond us, staring down at us like we were her peasants.

"So you must be the new visitors I have been hearing so much about. Made quite the commotion over at the Grounder Princess's camp."

Bellamy steps up, Clarke letting him.

"We were very sorry to have had to do that. But she tried to stab Clarke. My co leader."

The queen smiles.

"No. It's more than okay. She was getting too cocky."

She stands up, stepping down to us.

"Now I hear you would like a treaty?"

"Yes your highness."

Clarke glances at Bellamy and he shrugs, not knowing what to call her.

"Well it will take much hard work. We need your loyalty before a treaty can come into order."

This was my time.

"How are we supposed to give you our loyalty when you killed one of our own?"

"Murphy."

Bellamy warns me. But I ignore his signals.

"And you are?"

"None of your concern. You killed the only person I liked at our camp and you have to pay for that."

I start for the knife in my back pocket but before I can even pull it out, there's a sling that snaps and I fall over in pain. My leg courses with tiny tingles of pain. But then when it comes to my realization I've been shot with an arrow...

The pain becomes almost unbearable.

"Murphy!" Bellamy comes to my side but I wave him off.

"You'll pay for this you fuckers!"

I yell at them, but I can't even see them through all blood that's seeping out of my leg.

"Leave now. Or you all die."

Bellamy picks me up with a very forceful pull and drags me out of the camp.

I can see Wells and Clarke behind us with very angry expressions on their faces.

\-----------

Back at our own camp, Clarke starts to clean out my wound.

"I can't believe you did that Murphy!"

Wells is pacing back and forth as Bellamy lectures me on my bad choices.

"Now what are we going to do?"

Wells comes out with.

"Their going to kill us. Thanks to you."

I stare at Wells for a moment as he stares back with complete and utter hate.

Not like I'm in love with this group.

Well except all the girls.

"We'll have to handle it. Make another meeting. One where Murphy is definitely not involved."

I stay silent as Bellamy starts making up plans once again.

My attention focuses back on my wound as Clarke pushes in a bunch of alcohol on purpose. I bite my tongue, trying not to yell at the fact she's trying to make me feel more pain.

I wish I could kill this group myself.

She patches me up with a bandage sloppily, obviously not caring if I live or die.

Like I care.

==========

I'm done with pushing back my feelings.

After what Bellamy did to me. He deserves this.

** BELLAMY **

Where the hell is Clarke?

I search all the faces, around the fire but can't seem to land on hers.

I looked practically everywhere and she's nowhere to be found. I even looked on the outskirts of the forest and no luck.

She needs to tell me when she's leaving.

Suddenly I hear a familiar scream.

Jasper?

I should know that scream by now. He was screaming the same scream only weeks ago.

I look over at the drop ship to see a crowd of people I didn't see before.

I must have been too focused on finding Clarke.

Seeing Monty being held back by Wells in the front of the crowd, I push my way through to make it to them. Monty tries to push through his arm but Wells won't let him through at all.

I can see Monty is on the verge of breaking down.

Wells has to hug Monty to stop him from falling as he suddenly loses his balance.

"What's going on?"

Once I'm close enough Wells looks towards me as Monty slouches over in emotional pain.

"Murphy has Jasper."

I hear Monty's heavy breathing come to a halt as he turns silent and has no more noise to make.

"He's going to kill him..."

Monty makes out, even though he's not very loud.

Wells finally lets go of Monty as he tries to tear away and wobbles a bit once he's out. All the strength seems to have been sucked out of him from all the fighting with Wells.

"He won't let me go in... I have to help him. Bellamy he's still not fully recovered. He needs help." Monty pleads and it hurts to see him like this. Over the past few weeks I've been seeing him and Jasper having so much fun and laughing. Taking care of Mothra who I only just met.

And love already.

"HE WON'T LET ME GO SAVE MY BEST FRIEND! NO ONE WILL DO ANYTHING!"

I see all the mixed emotions cover his face. Sadness, guilt, anger...

"Monty nothing's going to happen to Jasper."

I put my hands on his shoulder, so he can face me but he grasps his hands over his face.

"Just calm down and tell me why Jasper is in there. When he did nothing wrong."

He looks like he's about to start ripping his face off.

"He's doing it to get your attention."

Wells speaks up and I narrow my eyebrows in confusion.

But then I remember what I did to him a little bit back ago.

But why would he hurt Jasper? Out of everyone the most person to be affected by him hurting Jasper would be Monty.

...But he does know how I can't let one of my group members be harmed if I can help it.

"This is your fault."

Suddenly as if in an instant, Monty pushes my chest with both of his hands. Only anger is on his face.

"Monty..."

I see pure hate on his face and he goes for a punch.

I duck.

I've never seen his react this way to me.

He starts to punch at my chest, each impact a little less than before and soon he's slouches over like he was before.

"Are you gonna calm down? If I'm dead, I can't go save Jasper."

His eyes dart up at me.

"I'm sorry. Help him please."

I nod.

"Of course. I would have done it even if I were dead."

I know that right now Monty would make a deal with the devil if it meant that Jasper stayed safe. And I guess I would too as over this past month I've gotten to know them a bit more.

Their pretty cool.

I walk up to the entrance of the drop ship.

Go time.


	21. Murphy's Revenge

** WELLS **

Monty stares at Bellamy's back as he enters the drop ship and I can't help but feel a bit guilty. More than a bit actually.

But I knew Murphy wouldn't stop unless it was Bellamy.

I should have known this would happen though. After what Bellamy did to Murphy.

========

I stare at the scene unfolding and I can't stop it.

Someone was just murdered and no one knows who did it. But Bellamy thinks he has a pretty good idea to who did it as he stares at Murphy and everyone else in the group follows in suit.

"You murdered him Murphy. You have to be punished."

Murphy glances over at the wooden fixture in front of us. A rope hangs from it with an O shape where the heads supposed to go.

"I didn't do it. I've been too busy with figuring out how to get justice for Atom."

"It had to be you Murphy. Your the only one who could have done it. You have been trying to ruin our plans ever since we got down here. Ruin our chances at survival. Like with the Grounder Queen when you tried to kill her."

"For Atom."

"STOP Murphy. Atom is dead. He is never coming back so stop blaming things on him."

Murphy stares silently, with fear hidden inside his eyes.

A fear you could only see if you actually looked for it.

I knew he didn't do it.

I had been watching him for a while for my entertainment show. He couldn't have done it because that night he was trying to hook up with some girl and we found the body the next day.

But I couldn't just come out and say that. I would be stared at for being the creepy stalker even though this is the only entertainment down here.

It's not like I can watch Tv all day.

"What about Charlotte? She tried to kill Wells and you never hung her."

Clarke comes up.

"She was just a kid."

Murphy looks at Bellamy again.

"I told you she was here for a reason Bellamy."

"You need to learn a lesson Murphy."

"For what? For being killed for something I didn't do?!"

"How are we supposed to believe you? You are just like Atom. You would kill."

"But I never have. I beat people up but I would never kill them. I have more morals than that."

Bellamy doesn't believe him. I can see that. But I do.

I see Murphy staring Bellamy down but he suddenly looks away, trying to cover up his feelings. His voice comes out tough and full of darkness.

"It looks like you've made up your mind."

Bellamy stands still for a moment. But then steps forward to Murphy.

This isn't right.

"BELLAMY!"

He stops right as he grabs Murphy's wrist and stares back at me. Murphy's eyes also land on me with confusion invested in them. I know I hate him. I know everyone hates him.

But he doesn't deserve this.

No one does.

"You can't do this. He didn't do this. He couldn't have."

Bellamy is just as shocked as everyone else, especially Murphy.

"How do you know Wells?"

All eyes are on me. Pressure begins to build up.

"Do you really think Murphy would have the guts to murder someone in cold blood? Don't think I like you at all Murphy. Your still a dick. But this isn't right."

I quickly come out with.

"Unless you have proof Wells... Someone has to pay for this."

I open my mouth to speak, but nothing comes out.

"Come on Murphy."

Murphy stares at me for an extra moment, but then looks down as his head is pushed through the ropes opening. I have to look away as they start to lift up the rope from the other side of the wood.

This can't be happening.

========

The noises that came from his mouth. The gurgles. The gasping for air are all too clear in my mind.

I could have stopped it. I should have stopped it but I was too worried about my image.

Now I can't go back.

** BELLAMY **

As I tug back the curtain, another scream interrupts the tense silence.

I take on last look at Monty, who plugs his ears and closes his eyes tightly as if it will stop what's happening, before I enter the drop ship fully.

I wish it was that easy to stop all the bad things in the world.

I see Jasper stuck in a chair, cuts visible across his bare chest and blood oozing out of said cuts. He has his head down weakly as sweat glazes over his body.

The black hair that was one soft looking, now looks like a greasy mess.

"STOP MURPHY!"

Just as Murphy goes to cut another section of Jasper's chest with his back facing me, I yell out. Jasper looks up with squinting eyes and slow panting whereas Murphy looks over at me with a smirk.

I hold out my arms.

"You wanted me? You get me! But only if you let Jasper go!"

I slap my arms back to my side as my voice grows deeper with authority.

He chuckles to himself.

"Or... I could just keep torturing him."

I keep staring at him almost in a glare and his smile fades. He puts the bloody knife in his hands down as he lets out a sigh.

"It was getting boring anyways. I already heard enough of his screaming that night he should have died."

I warn him to be careful with his words with my eyes.

He walks over behind Jasper and gets on his knees to untie the rope.

Once he's free, he doesn't hesitate to get up but as he does, he tilts to the side and I rush over to catch him. His arms are surprisingly muscly.

"Monty's waiting outside for you."

I whisper, which makes Jasper slightly smile.

"Be... careful."

His voice comes out roughly as he tries to regain his composure.

"Enough flirting you two. Get going meat bag."

Jasper almost glares, but he doesn't give Murphy the satisfaction as I nod at Jasper. And he goes limping out.

As the curtain wavers once he passes through it, I catch a glimpse of Monty gasping with relief and running up to Jasper. I feel a smile come across my lips but then I feel an arm on my shoulder.

"Aren't they just the cutest? I bet they'll be together by the end of this. But then again you'll have to kill them since they won't be able to repopulate the earth."

I push his arm off of me and turn to him.

"Your problem is with me. Not them so leave them both alone."

Murphy turns around as he walks up to a rope hung up like a noose. Just like the one outside we almost killed him with.

"Well at least it'll probably be Clarke doing the killing. If your dead."

He grabs a stool from beside a table and pulls it under the noose with a skidding sound.

"Why don't you get up on the chair Bellamy?"

I take a deep breath before following orders and climbing up the stool. He walks in front of me, looking around like he could care less about me.

"Now put your head in the noose like a good little prince."

I stare at him then at the noose.

I've never showed fear towards him. I can't start now.

As he looks at me with a smile, I put my head inside the noose before he can say a snarky comment.

"Promise you won't hurt anyone else."

I hold onto the inside of the rope where my neck is. So that if he tries to kick the stool from under me without a word, I'll be able to fight back.

"Of course."

He says with a smirk, but I believe him.

His beef's with me. No one else.

He stares at the chair for a second, getting ready. I stare at him for a second, confused as to why he's hesitating.

Then he kicks the chair from under me, while I try to hold up my neck with my hands around the rope.

"Hey. No cheating."

I take one last breath before he pulls my arms down and they drop next to my legs.

I stay okay for a few seconds but then the gasping comes as the rope collapses in on my neck.

"Feel the way there's no air left in your lungs? How the rope crushes your neck like a juice box? That's how I felt."

I hear the anger in his voice, which is justified.

"But the difference between my experience and yours. Is that I didn't deserve mine."

I close my eyes, as they feel like their starting to bulge out of my head. Everything starts to become darker and all the light flashes through my eyelids start to disappear.

I started to zone out so much I couldn't even hear my own choking.

Suddenly footsteps envelope the silence as they start to come into the drop ship. I hear Murphy sigh in annoyance.

"See you later hotshot. Looks like my luck's run out."

I hear his footsteps run out the opposite way the first steps are coming in.

I don't hear anything more as my ears start to buzz with silence. But just then something slips underneath me and I can't help but stand up. To the point the noose stops crushing down on me.

I gasp for air. And soon I have it.

It takes a few seconds for me to realize how to breath air again and as I do, I throw the noose off my neck and fall to the ground as I'm not able to support myself.

I put crawl on all fours as I start coughing.

I cough until I can't breathe and then heave some air in only to start coughing again.

"Are you ok?"

I hear Monty's voice as he gets on his knees next to me. I cough once more before turning and sitting down.

"Yeah. Now I am."

I make out even though my voice is hoarse and I can barely hear my own words.

"I'm so sorry Bellamy. I didn't mean to start a fight. It's just Jasper... he-"

I nod.

"I know. I don't blame you."

I cough again as he breath in more air. I look around the room.

"But where's Murphy?"

I look at the back way.

"I'm guessing he didn't want to get caught."

"So... How did you even get in here? Wells wasn't letting you go."

Monty scoffs. He leans in.

"While Wells was patching Jasper up, I made a run for it. I knew Jasper would be ok and I couldn't let you get hurt."

He pats my back but I stare at him with disbelief.

"Ok. Fine that's not what happened. I was still pretty mad but Jasper made me come or he said he would go himself. Since he was hurt already I would never risk it."

I pat his back this time, making him raise his head.

"Thank you. You still came and that's all that matters. I'm sorry I put you both through this."

He smiles and gets up with a quick breath.

He holds his hand out and I take it as he pulls me up.

I zip up my jacket so that no one can see the rope burn on my neck. If they knew Murphy a follower got to me, then they might think they can overthrow the leader.

"My neck hurts like hell."

I try not to move my neck as it feels like a charlie horse in my neck.

"Well let's get you to lay down."

Monty leads the way as he walks through the curtain but he's cut short as Wells is right outside waiting for us. And he doesn't look happy.

"You dumbass you could have gotten hurt!"

Monty takes a deep breath, his nose flaring.

"Don't you think I know that? But I couldn't let Bellamy die like you almost let Jasper die!"

I see how much Wells is taken aback.

"I didn't want anyone else in the group to get hurt."

Wells softens his eyes as he tries to explain.

"So Jasper's not part of the group?"

Monty shakes his head in anger, before passing Wells but not before he can hit Wells arm on the way out.

"Monty! I didn't mean it that way..."

He tries to yell but Monty won't listen as he keeps walking to the medical tent.

"Just let him cool off."

I walk up to Wells and pat his shoulder.

"You know what I meant right? I didn't want you or Jasper to get hurt... You know that right?"

I see the pleading in his eyes and I nod.

I do.

But I can see he's still guilt tripping himself.

** WELLS **

I was just trying to help everyone...

But now I've got bigger problems than Monty hating me.

========

As I finish mending Jasper and walk out of the tent, I look for Monty. I come to the conclusion he went back into the drop ship. I sigh.

This kids gonna get himself killed.

I start for the drop ship, but then I see a familiar figure running through the woods close by.

Murphy?

I quickly get distracted and start running for the quick figure and it doesn't take me long before I'm behind him. He stops for a second to get some air and that's when I take my chance.

I pounce on him and we both tumble to the ground.

"WHAT THE HELL?!"

He yells out as he tries to struggle but I grab onto his wrists and push them down into the dirt with all my strength.

"Why do you have to act like such a dick when I'm just trying to help you?"

"Because I am a dick. Now let me go. Or kill me."

He won't stop struggling so I throw a punch at him, causing him to start bleeding from his lip.

I stare at him and as he stops struggling, he does the same.

"I'm gonna get them to let you back in. At least not kill you on sight."

He widens his eyes. First time I've seen him surprised. Except when I tried to stop him from getting hanged.

"Why would you do that?"

"Because no one deserves to rot out there. Not even a self centered dick like you."

He doesn't say anything for a second, then his eyes look away.

"What if I don't want to come back?"

"Then you'll die."

His eyes catch back onto mine.

"Think about it. Has anyone made it out there? No. It's because we have groups that we survive."

"They won't let me back in."

"We'll see about that. Just come back tomorrow and I'll figure it out today."

I loosen my grip and get off of him. He takes the chance to get up.

He wipes his mouth.

"I'm not going to say thank you."

"And I'm not going to say your welcome."

I get up.

"If you don't come. Then I'll know you really want nothing to do with this group. Go."

He scrunches up his eyebrows but then starts running away again.

"Don't get murdered out there..."

What am I doing?

Well if he dies, I won't have any entertainment so.

==========

I guess I did it because I still felt guilty over how I didn't help him when I could.

I don't regret it.

I don't regret giving him another chance. But now I have to get everyone else on board and that's gonna go really badly.

"You don't know where Clarke is, do you?"

I look up at Bellamy.

I shake my head.


	22. More Hate for Murphy

** BELLAMY **

I sigh with exhaustion.

"I never get a break with this girl."

I whisper to myself.

"Don't worry. It's Clarke. I'm sure she's fine."

I pat him on the back a few more times for reassurance but he just stares at me. Obviously still worried.

"I'll ask Raven about it."

I start for Raven's tent and once I get in, I see her sitting at her desk as she looks bored.

"Hey Raven. You seen Clarke?"

She turns around in a rush, almost knocking pieces of metal off her wooden desk.

"Not since this morning... But I think I saw her go into the woods while I was getting water. But I may have just been seeing things."

She relaxes as she starts to place the pieces of metal back where they were.

"Raven?"

She turns around again, but more smoothly this time.

"I was wondering since we might be at war with the Grounders. Maybe you could find some way to kill them before they can kill us? Like some kind of device?"

She looks off thoughtfully.

"I'll get right on that. I think there was something in the Ark books about an explosion that could disintegrate everything outside but not inside. But let me do some more research."

"That'd be great thanks."

She gets back to her desk as she starts whispering to herself and then scribbles some stuff down.

Glad I could help someone's problem. Even if it was just of being bored.

Now I've got to look for the lost princess.

\----------

I start to search around the forest yelling out Clarkes name.

"CLARKE!"

I run through the woods, looking for any sign of her.

Blonde hair... Blonde hair...

"Clarke!"

I start to run faster but then stop suddenly as I see indents in the leaves.

I start following them like a path and then hear rustling.

I look up and see Clarke with a guy on top of her.

Not Finn.

My heart suddenly stops.

If it were Finn at least I would know he wouldn't hurt her, knowing how in love with her he was. And even if I didn't like him I wouldn't have to worry that much. Just a little bit.

"GET OFF ME YOU ASS!"

She screams out and I realize she's not doing this out of her own free will. I rush towards them, jumping over a fallen tree before walking over so he can't hear me.

Once she sees me, I put my finger up to my mouth to shush her. She stops struggling.

In a leap faith that he doesn't have a knife on him, I pull on his collar and he tumbles to the ground. Mud splashes all over his face.

I lean down as he stares at me surprised. I grab onto the collar of his shirt again before I start punching my fist into his face. His nose quickly starts to bleed as his eyes close and his body goes limp.

I let his body fall with a thump.

I get up, going over to Clarke who looks fear stricken.

But the fact that she was almost forced on, it's more than understandable.

"Thank god I was here. Why didn't you tell me you were leaving camp?"

She stares off for a moment and then finally looks up at me.

"Sorry. I should have I just thought I could get some time alone."

I look back down at the body.

"We have to kick him out. This kind of behavior cannot be tolerated."

"...I agree."

She seems a bit out of it.

"We'll leave him out here. If he wakes up he better have the decency to not come back and if he does, we'll just have to make sure he doesn't ever again."

"Bell..."

"I'm joking."

She stares at me and I push her shoulder a bit.

"Let's get out of here princess."

** CLARKE **

As we were walking, Bellamy told me that Raven was working on a device to kill the Grounders.

I didn't want to kill anyone but I know that we can't lose anymore people.

I guess it could always just be our backup plan.

All thanks to Raven being with us. I just wish that Finn could realize how she was important to us and stop flirting with me. If she sees, she might leave and we need her right now.

Once we get back, he goes to leave but I see a red streak across his neck and grab his wrist.

"What's that Bell?"

I point at his neck and he looks away. He raises his coat collar up a bit more.

"Nothing. It's nothing."

I avoid his comment and pull his zipper down quickly, quickly seeing the dark red bruise around his whole neck.

"What is this? You can't hide anything from me. What happened?"

I widen my eyes.

He couldn't be trying to kill himself right?

I continue to stare into his eyes but he keep them away from mine. He looks like he's given up.

"Murphy wanted revenge on what happened to him a while ago. He wanted me to suffer like he did."

Of course Murphy.

I knew we should have kicked him out the first chance we got.

"Where is that son of a bitch?"

"Clarke. He's gone."

Suddenly Wells comes in like he's on a mission.

"Oh."

He looks at me and then back at Bellamy to his neck.

"So I see you found out about what Murphy did. And I see your angry Clarke but we need to let him stay in the group."

I furrow my eyebrows in confusion.

"What are you talking about? If he was here right now he probably wouldn't be alive."

"Clarke. I know your angry. I see that. I was too but he was just trying to make Bellamy feel how he did. The hanging that happened to Murphy was totally unjustified."

I can't do this right now.

I can't fight with him.

"Wells why do you even want him here? Not too long ago you were calling him a dick and how you wish he was gone."

"Yeah. Sometimes I still feel that way but..."

He shifts his position.

"I think we should give him another chance. If he does anything again then we'll kick him out."

"Wells we've given him plenty of chances."

** WELLS **

"Clarke. He's right. If this were anyone else then you would agree that we should give him another chance."

Bellamy backs me up and I give him a nod.

"Ok. Ok. Fine. But if he ever goes too far again he's dead. I agree but I'm not the one you have to persuade."

I give her a small smile.

"Thank you guys. I'll go talk to Monty now."

"Your too good for your own good."

I hear Clarke whisper.

I just feel like he deserves another chance. I wouldn't try so hard if I didn't think he could be better. But if I'm wrong.

Then I'm wrong.

Now the hard part.

Monty and Jasper.

\--------

"Hey guys." I walk into the medic where Jasper is laying and Monty is sitting next to him. Mothra is on Monty's shoulder. I walk over to Monty's side, who's purposely trying to ignore me.

Jasper stares at both of us.

"I really wish I could leave..."

"Monty. I need to talk to you."

Monty looks up and then back over at Mothra who crawls to his other shoulder next to me.

"Looks like Mothra thinks you should talk to Wells Monty."

Jasper points out and Monty sighs.

"What? Come to put us in more danger?"

"Monty. That's not fair. I was just trying to help everyone and I would never want any of you to get hurt. I'm sorry."

Monty stares at me for a few more seconds with a hard core expression.

Mothra gets on his hind legs as he rises up, wanting to come over to me.

Monty sees Mothra forgive me even though his father's mad at me.

"Please Monty. I can't lose you. Your a really good friend."

He looks away and sighs.

"I wasn't really mad at you anyways. I was just mad I wasn't strong enough to get out of your arms. I knew you were doing what you thought was right."

He looks up at me.

"I'm sorry too."

I smile.

"Now. There's another matter I'd like to discuss."

"Yeah. Anything, what?"

I achem.

\--------

"No."

Monty comes right out and stands up.

"I can't believe you would ask that of me, right after what he did to Jasper."

"But he was never going to kill Jasper. He just wanted Bellamy's attention."

"No. That's my final answer."

Jasper achems.

We both look at him.

"Do I get a say in this?"

"Of course. How do you feel about this Jasper?"

I ask him but Monty shakes his head.

"Obviously no. Right Jasper?"

Jasper smiles nervously.

"Well Monty. Your super important to me and I value that you care so much about me but even then you do go with your feelings too much."

Monty stares.

"And while I hate Murphy for everything he's done while he's been down here. Especially cutting me. I think we should give him a chance to redeem himself."

Monty gapes.

"But... why? After everything?"

"Because Wells wouldn't ask us something like this knowing how much it would affect us unless he had hope in Murphy. I think we should trust Wells. I'm sure he knows what he's doing."

Monty groans.

I hope I know what I'm doing.

"I do trust you Wells. But I need more than just trust. I need to know why you have so much hope in him. Then maybe I can get on board. Maybe."

Ok. Why. Why?

"I mean. You have every reason to hate him. All those fights. All the bruises over the past two months..."

Just say the first thing that comes to your head Wells.

"You remember Atom?"

I sit on a close by table.

"Who could forget?"

Monty groans at the name.

"Yeah. Of course you do. He tried to start a revolution that didn't go very far. Well he gave me a feeling like he was too far gone. There was no hope and in the end he died and no one cared."

I feel my eyebrows furrow as I stare at the ground.

"No one cared not even after all the trouble he caused.They just acted like his death was normal. Then Murphy tried to step into Atom's shoes and it seemed like those shoes were too small for him to fill. Atom was a selfish and ruthless idiot. Murphy just always felt lost to me. And like all those bad things he did were to prove himself."

After a breath, I continue.

"I don't know. Maybe it's stupid. But I just think about him being out there. Dying. And I don't feel like how I did with Atom's death. I feel Murphy's death would be a waste. Like he's more important than we think."

I look up at them, as they just stare at me with a weird interest.

"And I know he hurt Jasper. And I hate him for that too. I hate him for practically everything he's done. But Monty. If he can change, wouldn't it be better to have him on our side? He's scared. Even though he doesn't want to admit it or show it. And he's alone. He has no friends and the one friend he did have betrayed him. Bellamy betrayed him by hanging him. Jasper was just bait. He doesn't want to hurt Jasper he was just unfortunately the one he could grab first."

Monty stares me down.

"Good speech."

I wait for his answer as he glances over at Jasper.

"You better know what your doing. Because if he steps out of line. That's it."

I for some reason feel like smiling and pumping my fist in the air but I subtle for jumping up from my seat.

"Thank you. You won't regret this."

I say my last words and then rush out before he can change his mind.

\-------

I wait outside the next morning, for Murphy.

Seconds turn to minutes and minutes soon turn to hours.

I sit beside the tree.

\-------

I wake up, but not to the sight of Murphy.

It's already dark out.

I go inside, seeing he's made his choice.

\-------

"Maybe it's good he didn't come back."

Clarke tries to act disappointed for me, but I know how happy she is.

"How's Raven with the contraption?"

"Actually she's almost done and is almost ready to attach it to the drop ship. One push of the button she puts inside and bam. Toxic gas all outside."

"Where did the toxic gas come from?"

"That's the cool part. Turns out we had some chemicals hidden in the floorboards for emergency. But of course only the higher ups would know about that."

I drop a piece of wood onto the fire and the wood engulfs in flames.

"I know you're bummed about Murphy not coming. He was your project. But we both knew Murphy was an ass."

I nod my head, staring into the fire.

"I think I'm gonna go to my tent."

\--------

The next day, I can't help but wander over to the same sight I went when I pounced onto Murphy.

Raven's busy setting up the contraption and I didn't have anything to do anyways.

I sit down again.

\-------

It's dark when I wake up and I feel all that hope I had for Murphy just fade away slowly.

I sit there for a few more minutes, staring into the dark woods.

What if he's hurt?

\-------

Raven's finished with the set up and I start to walk across the outskirts of the forest, catching my eyes on Atom's grave.

Memories start to fill my head.

=======

It's been two weeks since Clarke's mom came down and they still haven't talked. If I have to deal with this tension between them for the rest of my life, I may have to jump off a bridge.

But it's supposed to be their problem.

I stop walking when I see Atom's grave.

I see a stick coming out of it. Is that supposed to be marker?

This is sad.

When did everything start to become so hopeless?

"Stop moving."

I hear a voice say with annoyance and I slowly start to make my way over.

I see the back of Murphy's head as he slouches over something on his knees.

What is he doing?

"What are you doing?"

I grow closer and I see his back stiffen.

"Killing bugs. Go away."

I don't though as I move my head to look from the side.

I see something big move. Soon I realize it's a bird with two heads and he's holding it's wing. Which looks twisted.

"That looks like a big bug."

I can see the bird relying on him to help it.

Murphy looks over at me with a serious expression.

"I was going to cook it."

I nod my head, understanding.

"Ok. You get right on that then."

I go to leave.

But instead of actually leaving, I hide behind a nearby tree and watch him from afar.

Close enough.

Murphy picks up a rock and hangs it over the birds head and gets ready to pound the rock down. I didn't actually think he was going to kill it. I wince to myself as I have to look away.

But there's no thump.

I look again to see him throw the rock down after an exhausted sigh.

"I don't have to act around you. Do I?"

He picks up the bird as gently as he can and brings it over to a tree. He places the bird down and starts to pick up sticks around him and the bird. Then he twists them under each other, making sure not to break them.

Is he making a nest?

"I had to take this stupid class in elementary school where we had to make wood things. But it was real wood that they had saved from earth. They said don't break it or you get punished. But I ended up breaking it anyways. I had to stay after school for weeks to glue all of the sticks back together."

He quickly finishes.

"But... I guess it's come in handy now."

I can't help but just stare at him. Talking to a bird. Making a nest.

Maybe he's crazier than I thought.

The bird pecks at the nest for a second and then jumps inside, cozying into the hole inside.

Murphy lifts up the nest onto a branch. A low one just in case.

"Ok. Take care of yourself. Maybe I'll come by later."

He pats the bird on the head, which nudges against his hand lovingly, and looks around before heading back.

\------

I adjust the backpack on my back and start running quicker into the forest where Murphy left the bird.

I peek into the nest to see the bird just relaxing but once it sees me it starts squawking at me with both heads.

I throw my hands up in the air in defense.

"Wait."

I unzip the backpack and bring out a piece of rabbit from hunting. I make sure the piece is not too big and go back up to the bird.

"Your just like Murphy... But if you're anything like the Murphy I saw yesterday..."

I lean the food down to the bird.

It stares at me for a few seconds and grows closer to the food, pecking at it as if to check it and then it quickly gobbles it up.

It makes a small squawking sound but not for alarm. For more.

I happily oblige and smile.

I set some more food down and then go back through my backpack to bring out my project I worked on all yesterday. At least the rest of yesterday.

I fit the homemade wing splint around the birds broken wing and it moves from pain a bit but then lets me put it on.

"There you go. Soon you'll be all new again."

I hear rustling and pat the bird before zipping up my backpack and running deeper into the forest only to hide behind a tree again.

Why am I such a stalker?

I see Murphy sneak up to the birds nest.

"Hey-"

He stops and touches inside the nest.

"Who gave you this splint? It couldn't have been Clarke. She's been by Bellamy's side ever since they started to become close."

The bird squawks as if to call me out.

"It couldn't have been..."

Murphy slightly looks off but then a tinge of a smile comes across his lips.

=======

That's why I have hope.

Because he's good on the inside, he just won't let anyone else see.

Don't get me wrong I still hate his guts. But he does deserve to prove himself.

But I may never get to see him again so.

I guess that answers the question.

Somehow unconsciously I ended up at the same site I keep meeting at while walking around.

Running.

I hear someone running.

I look up and see Murphy running towards me and once he reaches me, he stops with a huff. He leans against the tree and I am so confused I have to rub my eyes.

"Yes. I'm actually here."

"Why? You didn't show up yesterday or the day before."

"I don't have to explain myself to you."

I stare at him.

"The question is why did you keep coming here? I thought if I wasn't there the first day you knew my answer?"

He smirks and stands up straighter.

"It doesn't matter. What were you running from?"

He looks behind him.

"Murphy if something is going to threaten the group..."

"Acid fog. I had to hide. Then I heard a group of Grounders coming as I made my way here."

I widen my eyes.

Yells fill the air.

But not scared yells. Fighting yells.

"Their here."


	23. Another Loss

** CLARKE **

"Clarke..."

Me and Bellamy catch eyes as we know exactly what's started.

"Raven finished setting it up but we need to gather the whole group and get them inside. Safely."

I order.

"I'll go get Raven."

He starts outside the drop ship on his mission, I grab his wrist.

"You can't go out there. We both know their armed."

Bell quickly picks up a wrench off the table.

"So am I. I have to go out there Clarke. Our people are out there."

He slowly slides out of my hand and outside of the curtain with one look back to me.

I see a glimpse of the fire from the Grounders torches as they start to drop them on the ground.

It's now or never.

I shake off whatever panic is inside of me and run outside.

I see Grounders and our group both running but in different ways. The Grounders are after our group and our group is just running away.

"FIGHT BACK! IT'S THE ONLY WAY WE'LL SURVIVE!"

I yell out as I run up to a grounder beating up a boy no younger than me.

I pull the grounder back from his fur hood as he aims an arrow at the boy's heart. He gets pulled back just in time but he doesn't fall over. The grounder turns to me, letting the boy get away with on look towards me.

I stare into the grounders eyes, seeing pure evil.

They will kill anyone that they can find. But I won't let that happen.

I make the first move as I run into chest and he seems a bit taken aback as I steal away his spear that was on the ground and ram it into his arm.

He doesn't yell out as he smiles and pulls it out, ready to use it on me like he was gonna use it on the boy. He throws it towards my body, but I rush out of the way and end up falling onto my side on the ground.

I groan in pain, trying to get up, but all I can do is slide as my arm won't hold me up.

As the Grounder gets up, walking towards me like he's about to kill me with his bare hands. Hoping I can find a weapon, I search around with my eyes and hands.

But there's not even rocks.

I stare up at the Grounder.

I can't die like this.

A spear suddenly hurls into his chest right where is heart is located.

I widen my eyes as the Grounder who was just seconds ago strong as a bull and ready to kill me, falls to the ground with a loud thud.

I can't look away for a few seconds but then I look up as I see Murphy staring at the body.

"You. You came back?"

I quickly get up, a bit of anger in my voice.

"Yeah. Me. I came back. The person who could have left and let you all die came back. The only guy who can actually fight for himself around here. Well, except Bellamy."

He holds a hand out to me.

I glare at him.

"You know some other Grounder could come and kill both of us right?"

I glance around at the fighting and fires.

Some people are spread around the ground with blood oozing out of various wounds on their bodies.

"I still don't forgive you for what you did to Bellamy."

I grab onto his hand and he pulls me up.

"And I still don't forgive him for what he did to me. Now come on. Wells is waiting for you in the drop ship with everyone else that made it inside."

I see him start to run towards the drop ship but I stand my ground.

"What are you doing?"

He actually looks a bit concerned for once.

"I can't go until Raven gets in the drop ship safety. She's the only one that can save us from this."

He looks over at the drop ship.

"I respect the determination. Good luck. Wells will kill me if your not in there in time."

I widen my eyes.

"Yeah. He'll kill me too."

He rushes to the drop ship again.

I did not see that coming. He respects me?

Ok, back to the task at hand.

"EVERYONE RUN TO THE DROP SHIP! DROP EVERYTHING AND JUST RUN!"

Some members finish their fights or knock the Grounder to the ground before running to the ship. The Grounders start to run for the drop ship also but people near the front fend them off, including Wells and Murphy.

For once, I'm actually proud of this group.

"MONTY!"

I turn in a flash as I see Jasper on the back of a Grounder that looks like he tried to hurt Monty.

"MONTY STAB HIM!"

Monty looks down at the spear in his hands, like he's frozen.

The Grounder throws off Jasper, making him crash to the ground and I start to run over as I see Jasper wincing. But something stops me.

A fire burns in Monty's eyes as the Grounder looms over Jasper, ready to pick up Jasper's body. Monty stands the Grounder in the back with all his might.

Monty back away, looking terrified as he leaves the spear inside of the Grounder that falls over.

Woah.

A second thing I did not see coming.

Battle brings lots of surprises.

But no time to be amazed!

I continue over, wasting no time as I help Jasper up.

"MONTY! A little help here!"

Monty stares at the dead Grounder with wide eyes, realizing he just killed someone. How could he not realize he killed someone? As he was killing them?

"Monty! Jasper's gonna die in this mess if you don't help!"

That gets his attention, just like I knew it would and he rushes over as he helps Jasper up on the other side.

If he lets anyone see how his weakness is his best friend. There may be some problems.

I wish he knew what he was doing, but does anyone really know what their doing anymore?

As we help Jasper over to the drop ship, I see Bellamy following Raven. She's holding a medium sized tin box that looks like a bunch of metal pieces put together.

Let's hope this works.

I let Jasper go and Monty helps him the rest of the way.

Letting raven go inside, I stop Bellamy as he's about to go back out there.

"What if you don't make it back?"

He doesn't turn around as I see his head fall a bit.

"It won't be Clarke."

I hear the unknown in his voice like he's lying to me.

"Bellamy look at me."

The fighting war cries start to fade out as he slowly turns around and I see sadness in his eyes.

"I want you to know if we never see each other again, that I actually likes being co-leaders with you. I'm sorry I was such a pain in the ass but you were one also."

He chuckles, looking away.

"It wasn't easy with your pain in the ass temptations."

I smile.

I pull him into a hug, tightening my hold for a second more as he hugs back.

"...and if we do see each other again, forget everything I said."

I nuzzle my cold face into his neck, closing my eyes for a small second.

I finally pull away, feeling heat grow around my eyes.

"Good luck out there."

"Good luck in there."

His low voice makes me feel more comforted. I watch as he takes one last look at me before running off into the ongoing fight.

I go over to Wells who's next to some wounded members they could make into the drop ship in time.

I glance back at the war.

Make it back to me Bell.

\----------

It's time to close the door and Bell still hasn't come in.

"Bell come on!"

I yell as he dodges a big Grounders spear. He smiles for a second at me before running into the Grounder.

"RAVEN CLOSE THE DOOR!"

He yells out as loud as he can as he flips over just as the Grounder goes to stab him.

I almost don't comprehend the words.

No...

I hear a loud thunk and I look over to see Raven has pulled the lever to close the door.

"No...NO!"

I try to stop the door as it closes, slipping my hands underneath it and pulling it up, but it doesn't stop.

"BELLAMY! YOU CAN'T DO THIS!"

I yell out almost angry as I fall onto my knees just as the door makes a thudding sound. I scramble back up to my feet, trying to compose myself as I stare out the window.

Bellamy has the spear now and stabs the Grounder in the chest, twisting it into him before letting go and looking at me through the window. Then suddenly as if out of nowhere more grounders run onto the battlefield that was once just a camp.

Fog fills the window, making it so I can't see anything except figures fighting. I try to wipe the window, but as It's on the other side none of the fog disappears.

I see one of the figures get stabbed and I can't even move as I let my head fall.

I feel a hand on my shoulder as I close my eyes.

"He's a hero. He fought for us. I know it'll be hard to be a leader by yourself but you have us."

I shake my head as Wells tries to comfort me.

He thinks I'm scared of becoming the only leader?

I keep my hands plastered on the door as I don't want to move even an inch.

"Wells. He was our friend. She's sad because he was our friend. Aren't you sad?"

Monty talks for me.

Wells' hand falls from my shoulder as he turns around.

"More than anything. He was my drinking buddy. I just feel like if I pretend it's not happening... Maybe... It won't feel as bad."

I fall to my knees, pressing my head against the metal door.

"Clarke. We're here for you. Your not the only one who lost a friend."

I spin around as Wells sits down next to me.

Wells holds up his hand to reveal Mothra.

"Someone wants to say hi."

I look away.

"You mean bite me again? I can't deal with that right now Wells."

"Come on."

He gives Mothra to me, who curls up in my hand and doesn't bite me.

I feel a certain type of comfort. But it doesn't stop the hurting.

I never wanted to admit it, but he was my friend. My co leader and my friend.

How am I going to lead without him by my side?

"Clarke..."

I look over at Raven holding the button towards me.

"Do you want me to? Or..."

I slide Mothra back into Wells' hand as I crawl up from my feet.

I take a breath before taking the metal box and turning back to the window.

I stare into the fog, seeing figures running up to the door as they begin to bang on it.

I know I'll lose Bellamy forever if I press this button...But...

I look back at Wells, Jasper, and Monty. They give me the best sympathetic smiles that they can.

Jasper, trying to put on a smile pumps his fist in the air motivating me that I can do it. Monty pulls it back down.

I know I can do this. For them. And for Bellamy.

He would have wanted me to do his even if it meant him dying, because he was that good of a guy.

My eyes grow hotter.

I can't believe I won't see him again.

All the times we had were mostly fighting, but they were still our times. And I would never take back any of it. And I would most definitely never want to forget any of it.

"For Bellamy."

I whisper but I guess everyone hears as most people start chanting 'For Bellamy'.

I feel the strength pour into me from their chanting and with one more breath of air, I push the button.

I hear the Grounders outside start to scream and all I can start to think about is how Bellamy must be screaming. I close my eyes, dropping the button.

I can't believe he's really gone.


	24. Abducted

** WELLS **

It's been a good amount of time and we haven't opened the doors yet. But I'm kind of glad because in this moment we don't know for sure Bellamy is dead.

But if we leave... and see where he was standing...

I walk over to where Murphy is sitting in the corner and sit next to him.

He glares at me for a moment, and goes back to staring at the ground.

"Thanks for going out to save Clarke."

He shrugs.

"She needed the help."

I stare at him.

"But no one asked you to go help her."

He avoids eye contact.

"Don't think I'm some good person. I'm not. I just wanted to kill a Grounder. And the fact that I came back here wasn't to help you guys. It was because you guys have all the weapons. So stop looking at me with hopeful eyes."

I sigh. Still have so far to go.

"I can look at you with anger instead if you would like. How I really feel about you. Like how I want to rip your head off."

He looks up.

"That would be way better."

"Well..."

I take a deep breath.

"When have I ever given you what you wanted? I'm not starting now."

I sigh and get up.

Plus his annoyance is my amusement now.

** CLARKE **

It's been almost an hour since I just started sitting here.

All the screaming has stopped fully.

I sit with my back against the wall as I just stare off into space, thinking of all the times me and Bell have shared.

How they would be the last of our memories...

"Clarke, I think it's time."

I look up at Wells and nod, my eyes wandering to the ground as I slowly get up.

"Raven open the door."

She nods once before following orders and pulling the lever up.

The door that was once closer shut, opens with a slow grinding noise.

Once it's fully opened, my eyes dart to the spot where I last saw Bellamy smiling at me.

I slowly walk into the mulch of bones and dust all around us.

I'm not gonna say it's not disgusting, because it was, but the bad smell and horrible sight weren't my main priority.

The crunch of bones were the only sound I heard as we walked across. I looked down at the spot where Bell's body was and for some reason it didn't feel right.

It didn't feel like he was here.

But he had to have been, there was no way out.

All I start to feel is dread and guilt.

Sadness...

"MOUNTAIN MEN!"

Suddenly a yell interrupts the silence, making me look up to a red smoke that begins to cover the ground.

"GET OUT! RUN!"

I yell to everyone but just as soon as I do, I feel the air start to get thicker.

I feel like I'm falling, drifting, into a deep sleep.

Then, everything goes black.

\--------

My head feels dizzy as my eyes flash open.

All I see is white.

I sit up, realizing i'm on a bed.

A bed?

Yes. A bed. A plain white bed with one pillow that was under my head.

Where am I?

I throw my legs over the edge of the bed and that I'm wearing white clothes also. I touch my new clothes, confused as to how I got them. I feel clean, but also a bit weird since someone would have had to clean me.

I stand up, looking around only with my eyes to see everything around me looks a bit high tech. The walls. Even the door looks electronic.

I walk up to it, twisting the handle but it doesn't turn as it must be locked.

I look outside the circle window in front of me and near another door to see a sign that says 'Mount Weather Quarantine Ward.'

I widen my eyes.

Mount Weather?

How did we get to Mount Weather?

They found us...

Suddenly, a figure appears in the other doors window.

Monty?

MONTY!

"Are you ok?"

I mouth and he nods, clearly scared.

"Have you seen Jasper?"

He mouths back and I shake my head no.

I start to cough as it feels like the air is getting thicker like when that smoke came near us. I look near the vents above my head and try to cover my nose with my sleeve, but the gas seeps into my nose just as easily.

Everything goes black again...


	25. Mount Weather

** BELLAMY **

I hide behind a tree, peeking out to make sure there aren't anymore Grounder out.

I sigh in relief as it's all clear.

It's been a few weeks since the whole Grounder killing business. It didn't kill all of them but it did with the majority.

I still remember the day like it was yesterday.

======

As the giant Grounder tries to stab me, I duck at the last second and he ends up stabbing one of his own people. I widen my eyes as I see my chance to escape.

I take it as I start running to the woods, not looking back.

I hear screaming and see smoke coming out of the various place me and Raven set the launchers up at. Knowing the gas could kill me even far away, I keep running.

Don't stop now Bellamy...

Or you'll never get to see Clarke again.

I feel a gain of speed.

\--------

I stop and gasp for air as I crouch over, smacking my hands on the ground like it will give me more air. It doesn't of course, but I feel my breathing start to regain to normal.

I look around, and then back the way I came from.

Now, I have to go back to meet up with them. It's good I didn't take any turns and just ran in a straight line.

I try to stand up, but feel an ache in my leg that makes me fall back down.

Ok, Maybe I'll rest a little bit.

\------

As I run back, not as fast, but fast enough I see Clarke and the others come out of the drop ship with faces like someone died. I guess in their eyes someone did.

Me.

I just didn't know it would affect them this much.

I see Clarke walk over to the spot I was last. Her face says her feelings with such a clear expression. Did she actually care that much?

I thought she just endured me half the time.

Time to make my entrance...

"MOUNTAIN MEN!"

A yell stops me just as I take a step forward. I leap back behind a tree and peek as I see red smoke fill the air from canisters that were thrown from dark figures of men scattered in the woods.

I see Clarke's eyes slowly close before she falls and I have a yearning to help, but if I also end up getting caught I won't be able to save them at all. I'll just have to follow these creepy guys that are trying to steal my friends.

As soon as the canisters were thrown, everyone fell asleep like they suddenly died.

They could have never made it out with those canisters surrounding them.

Once they were all asleep, bulky men in brownish uniforms headed out and started to collect them, each with two people.

Monty and Jasper only needed one person to pick them up though.

I saw Murphy among the many and widened my eyes in surprise.

He actually came back?

\--------

I tried to follow them, but somehow the men just disappeared without a trace.

Even while carrying loads of people.

I keep wondering if I should have just shown myself and been taken with them.

At least then I would be with Clarke.

But no. They would have no chance then.

I'll just have to figure out where they are somehow.

Suddenly, I see something shooting down from the atmosphere. Something huge.

The Ark.

I'm not as scared as I used to be, because when Raven got a way for us to speak to Jana Clarke ended up defending me.

I'll never forget that moment.

When I realized she was on my side.

=======

"He's part of the hundred now and he deserves to live. No matter what. He's one of us."

I look over at Clarke as she keeps the determined look on her face. Even after everything I've done, she still wants to save me?

Why me?

Why do I deserve it?

"Fine. Even though I don't like it, he will serve his time with your group... But Bellamy. If you do anything like this again, someone standing up for you won't work another time."

I smile as if it's the first time in my life I feel apart of something.

A group that will stand up for me.

"No worries Chancellor. I'll never do anything like that again and I hope one day you can forgive me."

Clarke smiled over at me.

I get to stay. With my sister.

With Clarke.

When we were done with our talk, it was silent for a few seconds.

"You get to stay. Good job."

She tries to hide her excitement.

"It was all you. Thank you."

==========

Now look at us...

I hear a crash. Smoke erupts from the crash site. It looks like a rough landing but not as rough as Clarke's mom's pod had.

I guess it's time to meet the Ark's people again.

\--------

I stop running as I reach the site and see the ark a little underground from the crash, but it looks more intact than I thought it would be.

The door near the bottom blows off and I slowly back away as I wait for someone to come out.

It feels like if aliens came to earth and I'm waiting for them to try to take over our world.

I don't know if you would call us the aliens. We are human like the Grounders but we have been gone for a long time.

I hear coughing as a familiar figure is the first to wander out of the smoke like I expected. He jumped on the ground, making dirt particles flow from the air underneath him.

I wait for his expression as his eyes land on me and surprisingly, he gives me a smile.

He walks up to me, no injures to be seen from the crash. He looks around, almost judging it. I mean it is probably different from what he thought it could be.

"You look so much more different from when you shot me."

He brings up the unspeakable act and I achem not knowing how to react or respond.

"Don't worry. It's a good thing. I like this dirty armor style you got going on."

I chuckle.

"Where's the rest of the hundred?"

He finally asks and my smile falters.

"They've been taken by the Mountain Men."

I respond and he looks away, thoughtful.

"I need to ask you a question."

I nod as I stand a bit straighter like a soldier would to the captain. I sort of feel like I'm on trial.

He was the Chancellor.

"On the Ark, We have these monitors that show us if people die or not down here. From the wristbands that you were assigned to. I saw my son's stats sho-"

I already know what he's going to ask.

"He's alive..."

I see his face release the tension as he sighs in relief.

"At least the last time I saw him he was. But like I said he's with the hunder who are with the Mountain Men. So we should build up camp and go after them as soon as we can."

He nods.

"Sounds like a plan."

He brings his hand up to pat me on the back.

"You did good."

I nod this time.

His hand that's on my shoulder gently turns me around as he pushes me to walk alongside him.

"So, who are these Mountain Men? Are they dangerous?"

We walk to the Ark.

We don't know anything about them except that their on the mountain. If they are dangerous, then our people could be in real danger."

He stops.

"Our people? Bellamy, I only care about my son and Clarke. And that's only since I know her mother. Those prisoners aren't apart of our people. They deserve to be banned from the society that we'll make."

I stop this time.

I know he sent them down here but I didn't actually want to believe he sent the ones he didn't like down he to die.

"Sir, I probably did worse than them. You shouldn't ban them when you've let me stay."

I know I've went a bit far when he looks away.

"Bellamy. I almost didn't let you stay... but since Clarke liked you so much, I couldn't say no."

I knew that would be the reason he let me stay. Not because I deserved it or because he forgave me... but because of Clarke.

Someone he knew.

If he didn't, would I even still be here?

** CLARKE **

I opened my eyes to see the white ceiling I saw before and I couldn't help but stare as my vision was blurry still.

Why do they keep knocking me out?

With a groan, I swing my legs over the bed.

I rubbed my head as something shiny caught my eye. I slowly got up to go towards the white corner where the object had been hiding. Kneeling down, I realized it was a paper clip.

Why was a paperclip in here while nothing else was?

Picking it up, I twiddled it with my fingers. I walk over to the door again as I look through the window, searching for Monty in the other room.

Where is he?

I move my head a bit to see further into the room but still no Monty.

I look down, trying to figure out what's going on and my eyes catch onto the lock inside the handle. I get on my knees in front of the lock and twist the paper clip before inserting it inside of the tiny metal lock.

I turn the paper clip, trying to figure out this whole lock picking thing. As I try, the paper clip keeps making a tiny skidding noise which I hope no one can hear outside the door.

It's totally silent out there.

Finally, the lock make a clicking sound and I jump up, slowly turning the handle.

I feel my eyes close from the risk of getting caught as the door creaks open. I try to move it slower but it creams the same noise level. I slip through the small opening and take a deep breath as I look down both halls seeing no one.

I'm free.

At least at this point.

I hear footsteps from around the corner and I run to the other corner. I tightly squeeze my back onto the wall as I close my mouth, silently breathing out of my nose.

I peek over the corner and see a girl with dark hair under a helmet with yellow fabric around the glass that's keeping her from breathing the same air I am. She looks through my door confused.

I slowly start to tip toe towards her as she enters my room, trying to find me.

She looks innocent, but not innocent enough as she might have been the one ot lock us up in here.

Once I make it beside her, I pull her towards me by the collar. I hold onto her by the neck through the fabric as she struggles to get out of my hold. Seeing a knife in her waistband, I quickly pull it out.

Holding it by her neck to the fabric, I see her stop frozen.

She must be wearing the suit because she's not used to the radiation outside. This must be how it is for the other Mountain Men.

"What's your name?"

I see her start to shake.

"Maya."

Her voice comes out a bit echoey from the suit.

"Where am I?"

I push the glass closer to her neck, making sure she has no way out.

"In an underground complex inside Mount Weather."

She answers quickly as if she knows I'm not afraid to slit her throat here and now.

If she answers this next question wrong, I might have to.

"Where are my friends?"

Her breath quickens.

"Upstairs eating lunch. You were sleeping so we didn't take you with them."

I nod, loosening my hold on her a bit.

"Take me to them."

She scrambles to stand up as I let her go.

"Follow me."

I keep an eye on her as she leads the way to an elevator around the corner.

As we enter the elevator, all that can be heard in the silence is the jingle of the keys in her pocket.

I hold the knife close to my side.

\-------------

Finally we make it to a cafeteria looking room and I instantly see Monty and Jasper sitting at a table with their back facing me. I would recognize them anywhere.

I put the knife on a table that's empty and rush over to them, hugging them both from behind.

I feel them jump a bit.

"Miss me?"

I can't help but smile as they realize it's me.

"CLARKE!"

They both yell eve though we're close enough and they turn around to hug me with each half hugs.

How can two scrawny people be so strong at hugs?

"Took you long enough. You still sleep like a bear in hibernation."

I turn around at the sound of his voice.

I glare at him.

"And your still as rude as ever."

Wells smiles at me and I ease my face as I wrap my arms around him.

He hugs me by the waist.

Removing myself from him, I take a breath of relief as my friends are safe.

Everyone except Bell.

I feel my throat tighten a bit at the memory of him being stabbed by that grounder.

"You guys sure love each other."

My eyes dart to Maya who acts like she knows us.

"You have no idea."

I furrow my eyebrows in confusion as Jasper walks up to her and gives her a peck on the cheek.

I look over at Monty, who smiles but still looks away.

"What the hell's going on?"

I can't keep the question inside any longer as the girl I just threatened looks super cosy with one of my closest friends. Also Monty looks like he's slightly dying inside.

Does he also like this girl?

"Oh right. You don't know."

Jasper rubs the back of his neck nervously.

"Clarke, this is Maya. My girlfriend." I widen my eyes, not knowing how to respond.

"We've met."

She answers, acheming and wandering her eyes.

"Hi, Clarke. I've heard so much about you."

She holds out her hand, trying to be nice but I just stare at it until she finally moves it away.

"Woah. Okay. When did you have time to get a girlfriend?!"

I yell out and I feel everyone in the room staring at me.

"Clarke, we've been awake for weeks. How long have you been asleep?"

They all look around at each other and I sit next to Monty as everything starts to become confusing all over again.

How long have I been asleep?

"I just woke up."

I'm out of the loop on this one.

"I mean, we haven't seen you for a while so that would make sense. We just thought you were mourning Bellamy. It's weird it took you so long to wake up."

No duh Monty.

They've probably been able to mourn Bellamy while it feels like just yesterday he died for me.

"We honestly thought you were dead."

Wells speaks up with worry.

"Well it's good I'm not then."

I stand up, still trying to wrap my head around all of this.


	26. Remembering the Lost

** MONTY **

I kind of envy her. I wish I could have slept through all these weeks.

Especially during the time Jasper was getting to know Maya.

======

It's been a week since we've been down here and no one has brought up Bellamy. We just keep staring off into space here and there and talk just as much as we can. Which is really only at meals and rec time.

Jasper has been talking to this girl named Maya for a while now. Ever since she walked us from our cells to our first meal.

I don't really know what to think of that.

We usually spent all our time together but now i'm lucky to even get a conversation in with him.

Wells has been distracting me by playing checkers with me.

"Red to black."

He take off one of my pieces and I groan in defeat.

"Dang it. I suck at this game."

"Not as much as I sucked at our chess phase."

I laugh at the memory.

He would lose in practically seconds.

"How is Murphy?"

Wells take another one of my pieces as his eyes glaze over.

"Haven't seen him. He's been holed up in his room ever since we got here."

"Are you actually worried about him?"

"What?"

He looks up in surprise at my comment.

"No. It was just fun to annoy him. Which was easy. I have a feeling he still blames himself for what he's done to our group."

"Well he should blame himself. He did do it."

"Monty..."

"I know. I know. I said I would give him a chance and I will."

It's silent for a few seconds.

"Do you think Clarke would still be in her room if Bellamy were here?"

"No. No doubt she'd be down here."

I rub my forehead.

"I still miss him."

"Me too."

"...But it seems like Jaspers moved on."

I look over at Jasper, who's laughing along with Maya in their own little worlds across from our table.

"I'm sure he's just hiding it. And I know you miss him, but I'm here."

"Thanks."

I smile up at him.

=========

It would have been easier to move on with Jasper there by my side. Maybe it wouldn't have, but at least he would have been there.

Wells was great and we became way closer, but I feel empty without Jasper.

A hole that can't be filled.

At least Mothra was in my pocket the whole time, keeping me company.

** WELLS **

It's good to have Clarke back.. I've missed her. But I can see that look in her eyes.

The grief.

I know how it feels.

========

Couldn't there be alcohol down here?

That's probably a good thing though.

Alcohol would just make me remember him more.

=======

"Hey."

Bellamy sits next to me on a stool and pours himself a cup of moonshine alongside me. He tops me off too.

"Hey. Why do you need a drink?"

"Why don't I need a drink?"

I smile.

"So how's the whole co leader thing going with Clarke?"

"Fine. But she still annoys the hell out of me."

I scoff.

"How is it that you respect me but not her? I learned everything from her."

He stares off but then holds up his drink.

"Now is not the time for talking. Especially about Clarke. Now is the time for drinking!"

He waves up his drink but then gulps it down.

I shake my head, smiling.

========

=======

Another day. Another drinking day.

I stare at Murphy who's taken up to some brunette haired spider of a girl.

"Staring at the love getter?"

Bellamy sits next to me just as he has been for the past month.

This seems to be our bonding place.

I actually don't find his niceness so surprising anymore.

"I don't understand. How does he get so many girls when he looks like such a troll."

"I think you've been drinking too much buddy. Even I have to admit that Murphy's attractive."

I sigh.

"Say it ain't so Bell."

"Sorry. Can't."

He pats my back a few times.

"Have you heard about that girl? She can twist like no other."

I glance at him with a judgmental look.

"I wonder how you know that. No I know. That's why I call her a spider. A pest that crawls everywhere."

He laughs.

"Well she has crawled into my bed a few times if you know what I mean."

"I think the whole world knows what you mean."

I stare at him for a moment.

"How did we become friends?"

He thinks for a moment and then smiles at me.

"Lost of drinking and then when the drinking started to lessen, we could actually bear each other. And then when there was no drinking. We still talked."

I wave my hand.

"The story of a great friendship."

"I'd say so."

We both start to laugh.

========

I'd never made a guy friend before and then suddenly I had. A person I would have never expected either.

But I was so glad...

And now he's gone.

=========

I wish I could go back.

Save him. Stop Raven from pulling that lever.

But I should stay optimistic for Clarke.

** CLARKE **

As we're getting acquainted again, a white haired guy walks in like he owns the place.

Everyone goes silent as he walks up to me with only his loud footsteps on the stone floor making any noise.

"Hello. I am the president of Mount Weather."

He states as nicely as he can, but for some reason I don't trust him at all. Maybe since i've lived on earth for longer. Actual earth and not inside hiding.

"Your friends here have been invited to stay and they accepted.

I look around the guys and they look down as if they betrayed me.

They did agree to this without me.

"I was wondering since your their leader, if you want to stay. As a friend."

He held out his hand as a giant smile slid on his face like a snake.

He would seem trustworthy.

I go to shake it, unlike with Maya, but then when he least expects it I start running out the way he came from.

"Clarke?!"

They voice of my group or so called friends stopped me as I reached the door.

I turn around slowly, shaking my head.

I can't believe this.

I walk back to them.

"You really want to stay? These people kidnapped us and you want to stay?"

I stare in disbelief at Wells.

He would be the one to think logically in these situations. Monty too. Since he seems to be so depressed down here.

"We so called kidnapped you to save you."

I turn to the president as I narrow my eyes to glare at him.

"We would have went without all the knockout gas if you had told us."

His calm exterior doesn't fade as he straightens his tie.

"So sorry about that, we didn't know how you'd react to a bunch of guys surrounding you."

I look back at the guys.

"Fine. You can think he saved us. But do you guys seriously trust them?"

Jasper grabs onto Maya's hand.

"Clarke I know they people can be trusted. Please stand by us and stay. Bellamy would have wanted this for you."

My nose fares at Bell's name.

He has no idea what Bell would want.

He would be suspicious too.

But Jasper's sleeping with the enemy. They've brainwashed him with a girl.

I get it.

I'll play this game.

"Count me in then."

I twist on my heel to turn back to the president as I put a smile on my face.

What they didn't know was that I wasn't going to trust them as easily as my group did.

I'm finding a way to escape this prison.

\--------

It's been three days and I've definitely done some digging.

I've found they've been using us to suck marrow out of our bones so that they could use it for their people. They tried to keep it locked up tight but it's good I became good at lockpicking and I have ears like a hound.

Especially through closed doors.

I get that their trying to save their people, but it's wrong how their choosing to do it. Through secrets and lying.

How do they know we wouldn't volunteer to help if they just asked?

Now it's too late.

Their hurting my people.

I even saw them to a demonstration in their 'Secret Room' which they had a warning sign on. Saying Radiation Don't Come Inside. I don't think they'd suspect me, since I've been the perfect prisoner so far.

I found out I'm pretty sneaky.

Plus all of this has been distracting me from he who shall not be named.

No one believes me except Wells. I knew Jasper would be a hard case since he's dating one of them, but Monty? It seems like he's totally given up. It's like since being here he's totally shut down.

Makes me hate this place even more.

I need someone like Murphy right now.

But Wells says he hasn't seen him coming down here.

What if he was one of the subjects?

I'm searching for an exit so that me and Wells can get out of here. We need to find the Ark and have them help us save our friends before these Mountain Men kill them.

I can't let that happen.

When I became a leader, I agreed to save these people no matter what they did before. I can't let them die.

As I saw a red door that looks awfully like an escape route. I gestured at Wells to follow me.

Time to get out of the hell.

\---------

We escaped pretty easily and we've been walking for what feels like a day.

But I don't know. It's not dark yet so it's probably only been a few hours.

A rustle escape the bushes. I wave a hand in front of Wells and he stops. He nods and grabs out a knife he stole from one of the kitchens.

"1..."

I start whispering as we slowly walk towards the bushes.

"2..3!"

I yell out and we run into the green leaves almost yelling but then we stop as a rabbit jumps away.

Really?

I sigh in exhaustion.

"What are you doing so far away from your group?"

Me and Wells both yell out as we jump and turn around.

I see Anya, who's apart of the Grounders group.

She stares at us with seriousness like she could get us executed with a snap of her fingers.

"What are you doing out here? Aren't you supposed to be with the Grounder princess or whatever?"

That place really made me jumpy.

"She's fine. Especially after many of our people were killed."

"Our people were too."

"Let's just be civil then. Now why are you out here all alone?"

She places her hand on her waist.

"If you must know. Our group is stuck in Mount Weather and we want to get them out. So we're going to get help."

She glares at us for a moment.

Her hand slides down her side.

"I may hate you guys after what you did. But there's no person I hate more than the Mountain Men."

I stare for a second, almost relieved.

"Would you help us?"

She raises an eyebrow.

"If you kill them after you get your people out, then I would agree. I might even be able to get some of mine out."

She looks away, as if a painful memory has resurfaced.

"You have people in there?"

"Did you think you were the only people they stole marrow from? We were the only people for centuries."

Wow. That must have sucked.

But now she has a reason to help us.

"I'll help in any way I can if we can kill those so called people."

She says in disgust.

I hold out my hand and she takes a second before shaking it.

"Deal."


	27. Trying to Live

** CLARKE **

Once Anya separated from us and we went off on our own, Reapers soon started to chase after us.

We try to run faster and faster to escape them.

But then we have to stop at the edge of the cliff.

I hear chatter coming from the trees as I see the Mount Weather agents coming for us also. They must have figured out we left. How?

Their white suits are visible in the trees.

I look down the cliff, seeing a waterfall zooming down it.

There's a giant lake down there.

There is no other way.

The Mountain Men reach us but before they can get close enough, Anya appears behind them with her Katana.

She slices their backs, stabbing them once their down for extra assurance.

Anya runs towards us but she doesn't look like she's going to stop anytime soon.

Me and Wells rush out of the way just in time as she jumps off the cliff. I peer down in shock as her body thuds through the water.

...But she soon floats back up with a flip of her body.

"Ready?"

Wells asks and I close my eyes.

Once I open them I remember Charlotte jumping off a similar cliff. I slowly start to walk back, as everything starts to move in twists and turns and I begin to feel dizzy.

"Clarke.."

I feel his hand grasp onto mine as he pulls me towards the edge of the cliff.

I focus on him.

"We'll do this together. Like everything else. Just close your eyes and hold your breath."

I follow order and close my eyes.

I inhale a breath in keep it inside.

Suddenly, I feel my body moving through the air, down as if to my sudden doom.

I tighten my hold onto Wells' hand.

Then just when I think it can't get any worse, my body hits the liquid and I can't feel the strength to start swimming.

Everything goes black once I start to inhale the water in like it's air.

\----------

A voice starts yelling my name. It starts getting closer and louder.

"CLARKE!"

I pounce up, spitting out the water that had been sitting in my lungs.

Gasping for air, I look around remembering what happened.

I didn't die.

I feel Wells's muscly arms wrap around me as I just breathe and not speak.

I don't hug back as I look over at the water.

Why couldn't I have just died?

I grasp at my heart as Wells moves away.

It hurts too much with Bell gone. I don't have a reason to live if he couldn't.

"Are you ok?"

Wells' voice snaps me out of it and I push myself up.

I do have a reason to live.

So that I can save my friends. Which is what Bell would have wanted.

I glance over into the woods, seeing Anya talking to some Grounders. I narrow my eyes as she gives me a smirk before leading the group of Grounders more into the woods.

I shake my head.

Of course. She just used us as bait to kill those Mountain Men. Last time I trust a fucking Grounder.

"What are we going to do now?

He shivers a bit, still frozen from the water.

"You trust me right? You don't regret following me?"

"No. Never. This is the right thing to do and I always trust you."

I nod, turning my attention to the sky.

"Then we keep walking and find the Ark."

** BELLAMY **

Night starts to loom over the sky as we finish making the tents from supplies they had stored in the drop ship. Lots of blankets and sheets. Nothing our ship had.

Well it is the Ark and the leaders had more than enough blankets in their rooms.

I met a woman named Mel in the Ark as we were searching for people and she seems pretty cool. Not as annoying as Clarke. But who could ever been more annoying than Clarke?

** CLARKE **

We walk, getting tired after hours but I notice that mud is all over Wells face.

I touch my face, feeling a sort of rough crust peel off.

We were sort of unrecognizable.

I hear something from afar and hold a hand out, Wells hitting against it as he stops.

Laughing.

I glance over at Wells, smiling as we might have just found the Ark.

Or at least people from the Ark.

Unless... It's not.

And we are just captured by another group...

I grasp onto his hand, pulling him towards me behind a tree near the camp.

I close in the space between our shoulder and peek out from the side, but I end up sliding on the slippery wood. Pain shoots through my hand.

I look down to see a piece of bark stuck in my hand.

I clench my teeth, slowly pulling it out as I try not to attract attention.

Backing up to the tree again, I look down at my hand in the moonlight.

Blood can be seen seeping out of the giant cut across my palm.

I press my hand against my chest, making sure Wells can't see.

"Hey Clarke. I think it is our people."

He looks over at me as I try to smile but he just walks in front of me

I know he detected something was off already.

I bite my tongue as I stuff my hand deeper into the inside of my coat.

"Clarke?"

He snags his hand onto my wrist like barbed wire and pulls it out. I feel sweat start to dip down my forehead and down my face.

What's going on? What was in that wood?

I start to see black dots everywhere no matter where I look and suddenly my body falls into Wells.

"Clarke!"

** MONTY **

This is bullshit.

I raise my hand up to my cheek, resting on it as I poke my food with the spoon in my other hand.

The brownish glob of food seems better than the situation i'm in, even if it does taste like feet sometimes.

Life is feet smell right now.

I glance up at Jasper feeding Maya the brown paste over at the table in front of mine. Soon their laughing as if their on the top of the world. Even if nothing funny happened.

Your supposed to laugh at funny stuff.

Maybe even at almost dying by a knife...

I stare back down at y food again before stabbing the spoon into the metal bowl. A loud clang interrupts the room. I feel eyes on me, but I don't care as I stand up and walk over the metal seat.

I start to walk over to the cafeteria exit, leaving my food where it was.

I saved Jasper all those times and he was thankful before but now that he thinks we're safe I feel like he doesn't need me anymore. It feels like I wasn't his friend for all those years.

Ever since we were kids.

I thought I was important to him.

But now he just acts like he barely knows me.

Why did I even stay?

** CLARKE **

As I flutter my eyes open, I feel at peace for some strange reason.

Am I dead?

".. What happened?"

I pick myself up, pressing my hand underneath me against the cold metal. I feel eyes on me. I look over.

That's when I see her.

"Mom?"

I feel a sort of anger fill up inside me as I look away from her. I can smell her mom scent from here. The smell of mint tea and peaches.

"I thought you were dead."

She takes a breath.

"Clarke I've had time to think and I've figure out why your mad at me."

I look up.

"Your dad. You figured out from Wells didn't you? I tried to get Wells to talk to you for me but he said to just speak to you."

I look back down, seeing that my hand had been patched up. I move my fingers, feeling a bit tingly. The stitches are perfect just as her stitches has always been.

I learned everything I know from her.

"I'm sorry Clarke. I know that what I did was unforgivable but you have to understand that I was doing what was best for the Ark. I didn't know what would happen."

I dart my eyes to her, furrowing my eyebrows.

"Didn't know what would happen? He was trying to tell secrets that weren't supposed to be told. YOU HAD TO KNOW WHAT WOULD HAPPEN!"

"Yes. For normal people but Jaha had been such friends with him that I thought that he would give him another chance."

I shake my head, in disbelief.

"You were supposed to stand by your family. Help us. Not them. That may sound selfish to you having been a loyal servant but that's what family does. This is not Jahas fault. He was doing what he had to do. You willingly told him."

She looks down, grasping her hands together.

"Clarke. I'm so sorry. I miss him too and I regret I did but now we're all the family we have left. Please forgive me."

I stare at her. Seeing that she does truly look sorry.

She is right that she is my only biological family but.. Not my only family.

"I can try.. That's all I can promise right now."

She tries to put on a smile.

"That's all I need right now."


	28. Treaty

** WELLS **

I stare at my dad as he sits on the other side of the room.

It's like how we were on the Ark.

He was always working and so he never had any time for me. Maybe that's why I ended up in jail. To get away from this.

I wanted to be with Clarke that's why I mainly came down here. But I also wanted to get back at him.

Finally he stands up, making my mind go blank as he walks over.

I wait for him to spout some lecture about taking off my wristband or whatever.

Why can't he just be in the moment and realize I'm here.. And alive...

My body goes stiff as I feel his arms tightly wrap around my shoulders.

What?

My dad's hugging me.

He's actually hugging me and not to just look like a good dad. He's hugging me because he wants to.

"I've never been good at expressing my feeling and I'm sorry about that. But I'll try better now."

I take a moment, letting what's happening sink in.

I slowly slide my arms up to wrap around his waist as I close my eyes.

"Thank you."

This is all that I wanted.

I've never felt this loved.

Not since mom died.

** CLARKE **

The morning sun starts to seep into the Ark's exposed layer as I get some water from the bucket in front of me and splash my face with it.

I decided to sleep in here, as to not be in anyone's way.

But really.. maybe I just wanted to be alone.

I haven't had a single free minutes to just think about what happened to Bell. I've been trying to distract myself for so long that when I finally have time to think it over..

I don't know what to do.

Everything's happened in such a short matter of time. At least for me.

Maybe it's best I didn't have time to think about it.

If I did, I probably would have broke.

I shake off my body as I walk outside.

No time for weakness right now.

I place a smile on my face to passer byers as I head over to Ravens tent.

I saw her yesterday, but I didn't have time to talk with the reunions.

"Hey Raven."

She was one of the people that didn't get taken by the Mountain Men. Mostly the only one. The other's died soon after.

I put on my cheery voice as I push aside her tent's sheet and walk inside.

She stops scribbling as she looks up.

"Hey Clarke. How are you?"

I glance around at the ground as I rub my arm, feeling uneasy.

"Not very good. If I'm being honest."

She pats the spot next to her bed, gesturing for me to sit down.

I do as suggested.

"I know it must be hard with your people in Mount Weather."

I look at her with confusion.

"How did you know that? Did Wells tell you?"

She shakes her head, looking puzzled.

"You don't know?"

I shake my head. I have no idea what she's talking about.

"I just thought since you've been here for a day, you'd know."

I'm getting a bit mad at the suspense.

"Know what Raven?"

Suddenly, I hear the gates unlock.

She doesn't speak.

I get up, running outside.

What could she have meant?

As footsteps enter the camp, I look over seeing a familiar moppy style of hair.

I stand frozen as he stands by Octavia.

It can't be...

"Bellamy?"

I whisper, my voice trembling as my eyes begin to feel watery.

The memory of him being stabbed enters my mind like it has been randomly ever since the moment I saw it.

I have no control over my body as I see him smile that smile he used to give everyone at camp, which is aimed at his sister.

I start running as fast as I can, thinking this all might just be a dream.

That he'll move farther away and I'll never reach him.

But I get closer...

** BELLAMY **

I enter camp, along with Mel but she just wanders off.

Where does she think she's going?

I sigh in exhaustion as I walk over to O who's near the gate.

"So is she like your new girlfriend?"

Her smirk makes me roll my eyes.

"You think any girl I talk to means I like them? I just met her."

She shakes her head, looking away.

"Wouldn't be the first time you just met a girl and she ended up in your bed."

I hear the attitude in her voice.

Before I can get another word in, I'm taken aback from a force that runs into my arm almost making me fall.

I glance down to see a blonde haired figure. She's hugging me like her life depended on it. I take in her scent and instantly remember that smell of strawberries.

Clarke?

I freeze for a second, not believing that she's actually here.

But she is.. She has to be, I'd know that scent anywhere.

"Princess."

I whisper in realization.

I turn my body to her and hug her tighter than she did me.

I smile like a fool as I grasp onto her head, caressing her hair as I close my eyes.

I don't want to let go.

A happiness I never thought I could feel fills up inside me as I pull her up in the hug to feel closer to her.

"Now there's something I never thought I'd see."

I let out a breathy laugh.

\--------

I stare at Octavia asleep against a log.

Clarke is also asleep but with a cheaply made blanket over her as she lays on the ground near the fire.

I adjust my seating on the log.

My eyes wander to Clarke.

I still can't believe she's here.

I feel a smile spread to my lips again.

Snapping my head forward, I plaster a neutral face on as I see her head move.

I hear her groan with sleep as her eyes open.

She sits herself up against the log behind her. She looks up and stares at me.

It's been weeks.

"Last time I saw you, Raven was closing the drop ship."

She looks down.

"It had to be done. You know that right?"

"Did it?"

Her green eyes peer into mine.

"I didn't want you to get hurt."

"The only thing that hurt me was when I thought you were dead."

I hear a sliver of anger in her voice.

It's a very small sliver but very noticeable.

I had to do it.

No matter what, even if she hates me, I won't regret what I did.

I had to save her.

"The only reason I didn't break was because of Jasper, Monty and Wells. Now two of those three are in Mount Weather probably getting the bone marrow sucked out of them."

I can see the frustration in her face as she rubs her temple.

"You don't know that. Their probably fine and you shouldn't blame yourself. It's not your fault."

She aims her glossy eyes at me.

"Not my fault? I left them. We were supposed to be a group and I left them."

She glances down again.

"That's not how a leader is supposed to act."

I slide closer to her.

"A leader is supposed to help their people. That's what your doing. If you didn't come here then you'd probably be killed trying to get them out."

I don't know if she believes me. She has always been stubborn.

"Get some sleep."

Do I need to hit her upside the head so that she can realize that nothing a leader does is going to be perfect?

\----------

It's been a few days since I entered the Ark's camp.

The council, me, and Bellamy have been trying to figure out a way to get our friends out of Mount Weather for days.

"Look, you can't say it's as easy as running in there and getting them out. Just because your the council doesn't mean you have the right to half ass these kind of things because you don't care about them!"

I slam my hands on the metal table.

They try to stare at me like their better than me.

I feel Bell's hand grasp onto my shoulder, telling me to calm down but I shrug it off.

They need to hear this.

"Your all just a weak, immature people. Don't act like you have any more authority down here than me. Your not as much in power as you think you are. You haven't had to deal with what we have. You've been on a perch compared to us."

I gesture at me and Bell.

"If it wasn't because of us. You would all be dead."

I scoff as they just look at each other.

"They are my people. You aren't anymore. If you can't deal with that and accept them then we'll just leave. Because we've been doing good so far without you."

I stop for a second and then rush outside.

I raise my hand up to my head as I close my eyes.

So many thoughts are running through my mind.

We're never going to get them out of here if things keep going at this pace.

We need a proper plan.

"Clarke, Someone's asking for a leader outside the gate."

One of the new recruits from the Ark announces.

"It looks important. She looks like one of the Grounders you described."

I head over to the gate, gesturing for them to open it with a wave of my hand.

Once it's open I see Lexa.

One of the most important Grounders with multiple Grounders around her for protection.

"What could be so important that I have the pleasure of seeing you?"

I ask sarcastically.

I walk up closer.

"Lincoln said you have something to offer us for a truce?"

I think back to when we helped Lincoln.

======

"Your not dying on me Lincoln!"

Octavia punches her firsts into his motionless chest.

After we gave him a potion to kill him after he became a Reaper, he wouldn't wake up no matter how much Octavia wanted him to.

We had no idea how to bring him back.

Now all we have to have is hope.

He gasps for air as his eyes quickly open.

If he died it would have been our faults.

Octavia gasps with relief as she buries her face into his chest and wraps her arms around him.

He looks over at me.

"Thank you Clarke. If it wasn't for you, I'd still be on that drug. I owe you."

"Don't worry about it. Monty was the one to make the potion."

I aim my thumb back to Monty.

"Actually, if you could. I have a favor to ask you."

=======

Turns out Monty wanted a truce.

Now that we might finally have it, he's not here.

I feel a tightness in my throat. But I achem to get rid of it.

"Yes. I have a way to bring Reapers back into grounders. But you are a bit late on the truce idea."

She rolls her eyes with that sass of hers.

"Would you rather me not be here? It's truce now or truce never."

She tried to demand me around like one of her Grounders.

Might seem scary to her Grounders, but it just seems annoying to me.

"Let's get this thing written up and signed then."

I turn around, gesturing for her to follow me.

The sooner we get this thing done, the sooner they'll leave.

Then we can just leave each other alone.


	29. Running out of Time

** CLARKE **

Once everything was agreed upon, it had turned to night time.

We signed the done deal and they left as if they were never here. Good thing we have proof they were.

I look around for Bell as he wasn't in the meeting like he was supposed to be.

As soon as I leave the council tent, I stop in my tracks once I see two figures over by the Ark.

Bell is with a girl and it seems like a normal conversation but I see her slowly moving closer.

And then she pushes herself on him, kissing him.

I turn around, shocked.

I thought he had actually changed.

Walking away, I realize I shouldn't care about something as stupid as that.

Just then, someone wraps their arms around my waist and picks me up in the air.

"WE DID IT! WE GOT THE TRUCE!"

I start to laugh as Wells yells out in excitement.

Putting me down, I turn to him and hit his arm.

"A little warning before you do that please."

I can't help but smile as he has the stupidest grin on his face.

My eyes wander over to Bell again as I see him glance in my direction. I look away quickly again.

I see him from the corner of my eye as he looks down in thought before turning back to the girl and saying something to her.

Then he turns in my direction as he starts walking over.

"Hey buddy. Got a drink for me?"

Wells turns around at the voice and I smile wider as Wells spins around with such extreme quickness.

"No... You can't be...!"

Wells yells out and then turns to me.

"Do you see this?!"

I'm surprised they haven't seen each other. But Wells has been in his own little world ever since we left Mount Weather.

Been hanging out with his father I hear.

Wells hugs Bellamy and pats his back extremely hard as Bellamy does the same.

"It's good to see you."

"You too. We need to get a drink soon."

"Yes. I will be looking forward to it when Monty gets back."

There's a silence for a second as Bellamy looks at me.

Wells looks between the two of us.

"I'm gonna go get some.. food. You guys talk."

He starts walking backwards and then turns around to leave.

I shake my head at him before he leaves with the click of his tongue.

Sometimes I hate him.

"A bit busy? Sleeping with every new girl that came down in the Ark? Or maybe did you do that before I got here and now your just going a second round."

I bring a smile up to my lips, like a mask.

"I didn't know you cared what I did."

"I care when your not at meetings."

"Mel needed to talk to me."

I scoff.

"Mel? So that's the girl you were kissing over there?"

He tilts his head a bit with a curious look on his face.

"Are you jealous?"

"Jealous? Me? No."

I cross my arms.

"Well don't worry. She kissed me. I pushed her away. She said she wanted us to be more, but she's not the one that's been on my mind over these past few weeks."

I stare at him.

"Sorry I wasn't at the meeting though. I just didn't want things to be awkward. With you hating me and all..."

He sniffs, his nose red and cold from the chill in the air.

"I don't hate you, I just wish you didn't risk yourself. I would have had to figure out how to take care of the camp all by myself. Without you. If we weren't taken by Mountain Men."

I can see how he still blames himself a bit for leaving me alone.

"Well now. I can make up for how I messed up. I want to be the inside man for Mount Weather."

My chest clenches.

"Bell, you want to make up for almost killing yourself by risking yourself again? I can't let you do that."

He sighs.

"Clarke. I'm not taking no for an answer. I need to do this. I need to help save them."

I notice the pleading in his voice.

I just can't help but think what if something goes wrong?

======

"Love is weakness."

Lexa stares into my eyes as I can't look away.

"There will be times where it will try to bring you down and stop you from doing what you need to do. But you need to do it anyways. To succeed."

========

But... What needs to be done, needs to be done.

"Ok. Let's go save our friends."

I try not to show much I regret this decision.

He nods.

"Let's do this."

** MONTY **

W-what?

I touch my head as pressure fills up in one section. Something starts to drip down my face. I pull my hand back down and stare in shock at the red covering my hand.

I look around on my knees and see that I'm in a metal box like container. There are bars where the light is seeping in through.

Feeling claustrophobic, I grab onto the bars tightly.

"Jasper!? MAYA?!"

I start yelling out into the silence. I push and pull on the bars, making them shake but there's no way to tell if I'm actually budging them.

Which I doubt with my strength.

Pressing my forehead on the cold metal bars, I glance around the room to see blue flickering lights outside the cage. There are more small prison boxes connected to each other on the other side of me.

I press my hands into my pockets, panicking when their empty.

"MOTHRA?!"

I try to search more but he's gone... where?

"Will you shut up?"

I hear a guy below me say. I slide my hands from the bars onto the bottom of the container as I look down.

"Who is that?"

The fear starts to get to me, as my body shakes slightly.

There are people inside here except me?

Why aren't they talking?

"It doesn't matter. All that matters is that you won't be seeing your friends again. You won't be seeing anything again really except this room."

The air starts to become thicker as I fall down onto my bottom.

I bring my knees up to my chest as I hold onto them.

How did I get in here?

There has to be a way out.

This guy has to be lying...

"Your probably telling yourself this can't be happening. That I'm lying right?"

I look out the bars as he speaks up again.

"But you believe me deep down because why else would these people kidnap you?"

I close my eyes, pressing my hands up to my ears as I don't want to hear anymore.

Think. Think.

I quickly open my eyes again as I remember what happened.

I was trying to figure out how to get the radio working so that I could contact Clarke. So that I could find out if she was alright. If she was coming to get us...

Then I needed to get in the control room, so I pretended I was doing a routine check up as I got one of the hazmat suits I stole from the storage room. But then once I got the signal unjammed for the radio tower...

I came out... And...

=======

I sigh in relief as I unjam the tower and get the message out.

I never want to do anything this criminal ever again.

Way too risky for a guy like me.

I'm the type of guy that should be cowering in fear and just going along with everything going on here since I wouldn't want this safe life to end.

Oh wait..

No that's Jasper.

I open the door and close it as I give the guard outside the all clear sign.

He nods at me as I start to walk the opposite way, on my way back to the storage closet to change.

"Hey wait. You."

I stop, but don't turn around.

"I just need you to fill out the log book."

Hoping my face is blurred out by the hazmat mask, I turn around to see Emerson holding out a pen and clipboard.

My body begins to feel warmer as I take the pen and stare at the paper on the clipboard.

My hand starts to shake as all of this info looks confusing.

A name.

I didn't think of a name.

I swallow from the pressure of him staring at me.

I shake out my hand and fill in the time before writing down a random name. He smiles at me as I give him back the pen and continue on my way, wishing to god he doesn't stop me again.

But suddenly as if out of nowhere I get pulled down. My head knocks against the stone floor as Emerson climbs on top of me. He grips his hands around my neck as I try to breathe but it every breath comes out in an achy cough as his grip gets tighter.

All I see before everything goes black is his intense face.

========

I touch my neck as I'm reminded of his hands around it.

My eyes dart around and my heart starts to race as I hear a door cracking open not too far away.

Am I actually going to die?


	30. Protecting Ourselves

** BELLAMY **

I walk alongside Lincoln as we walk to the Mount Weather mines, dressed up as Reapers so that we don't get stopped my Reapers. We were entering their territory and it was better to be safe than sorry.

I can't believe Clarke acted like that before we left.

I thought at least she would care about me after everything.

But maybe that was just hopeful thinking.

========

"Clarke we're leaving."

I look over at Lincoln by the gate as he says goodbye to my sister.

"Ok. Have fun."

She sarcastically states as she continues walking to the council tent.

Playing hard to get are we?

I rush after her, walking her pace but she doesn't seem to notice me.

"You know I might die."

I joke and I see nothing on her face except a tiny second of freeze.

"Then don't die."

I stop as we reach the tent. She tries to enter but I hold out my arm, blocking her way in.

"Move your arm, Bellamy."

She strictly orders. She won't even look at me.

"Do you even care?"

I stare at her face, hoping to see at least an ounce of something.

...but nothing.

She sighs, looking annoyed.

"I said move your arm."

Grabbing onto my arm and pulling it down, I don't even push back as she enters the tent.

I can't believe this.

=========

I look at the trees in front of us as Lincoln starts to talk about the intake process and how each person is tagged for either Cerberus Project like he was, or for harvest where they take your blood for their machine.

"Soon all the people we came down with here, that survived, are probably gonna die?"

I hear him say nothing but I can see the answer on his face.

"Only if it reaches that point. As long as they have our people, they might not even touch our people."

I know I should be relieved by that... but I also know it's his people that are on the chopping block.

He's pretty much in the situation that I thought I was in.

"We're going to help them. I promise you."

He knows I can't truly promise that.

I just thought it might help that I would try.

**JASPER**

As I walk hand in hand with Maya, we head towards the cafeteria. I stop as we reach the entrance.

"What's wrong?"

She brings a smile up to her face, concerned. She even squeezes my hand a bit.

"Everyone's supposed to come down here at this time right? No exceptions?"

I look around the room.

"The people that aren't in the punishment room. But why?"

"Where's Monty?"

I ask and right as I do, she sighs in annoyance.

"What?"

I detach my hand from hers, listening intently.

"It's nothing. Really."

I hear the attitude in her voice start to set in. She crosses her arms, putting her weight all on one side of her body.

"No. Do you have a problem with Monty?"

I hear the sudden anger in my voice, even if it shocks me.

Why should I be mad?

"Look, it's just every time we're together. It's Monty this. Monty that. People would think you were gay if you talked about him as much with them as you did with me."

I narrow my eyes in confusion.

"So because I talk about my best friend a lot, that makes you think I'm gay?"

She raises her eyebrows as if I'm right on point but she just doesn't want to say it.

"I thought you would understand that I think I think of him like a brother and yes, we have a lot of stories so I want to share them with you... but if you really think that way then I'll just search for him myself."

I turn around angrily before walking down the corridor we just came from.

If she really wanted to make up for the accusation, she would follow me.

But I hear no footsteps behind me.

\----------

I finally find President Wallace in an empty room with only a desk inside.

"Jasper? You should be at lunch. What are you doing here?"

"Do you know where Monty is? I've been looking everywhere for him. Even his room but it was locked and he wasn't in there."

Wallace looks around confused.

"I don't know where he is.."

He answers but I feel my heart start to chase. Something bad may have happened to him. Not even the president knows what happened to him.

Or does he?

I didn't want to believe that Clarke was right. But..

This is my best friend we're talking about.

"Your not lying to me, are you?"

I raise an eyebrow and he shakes his head.

"Now, why would I lie to you? I have nothing to hide."

Feeling something rise up inside me as he smiles, I eye a sword over his desk on a wall.

I have no other choice.

Gonna have to pull an emotional Monty.

I run over to his desk, pulling the sword up from the pedestal.

If he's not going to tell me willingly, I'll have to get it out of him some other way.

"Jasper..."

He tries to calm me down as I look down at the sword in my hands.

I know I probably have to threaten him, but I can't seem to find the will to actually swing it. I might hurt him.

"Where's Monty?"

My voice comes out a bit shaky as I move closer to him, letting the sword drag across the floor.

"Jasper, If I knew I would tell you."

I feel mixed emotions as I try to pull the sword up to his neck, but I stare at it glistening in the light.

Then suddenly as if it was never there, it's gone.

I look up with wide eyes to see Wallace took it.

I bring my hands up to the sides of my head.

"I just want to know where my best friend is. I'm going crazy knowing he's somewhere that I can't find him."

I hear the clanging of the sword as it drops to the ground.

I look up to see Wallace with soft eyes staring down at me.

"We'll find him."

** MONTY **

A doctor looking person in a lab coat comes in. I don't see much of her as I try to keep out of her eye view but in a quick glance I get the feeling that she's not someone I'd want to mess with.

I hide in the back more towards the darkness of my cage, hoping she won't see me.

I close my eyes as she closes in on my spot.

"Still sleeping are we?"

My body begins to tremble like a scared puppy. I bite my tongue to focus on the hurt and not how scared I am right now.

She unlocks one of the cages around me.

"No..NO!"

I hear the yells of the taunting guy from beneath me. His whole badass personality takes a total 180 degrees as he's dragged out by the doctor. The doctor doesn't stop from his screams and instead smiles.

I quietly move closer to the bars as I look over at the doctor placing a stubborn Grounder looking guy in the ropes on the table.

"This won't hurt a bit..."

She whispers as he leans in on the guys face and it echoes throughout the whole room.

"It'll hurt a lot."

I barely hear as the doctor goes to grab a syringe off one of the metal trays around her. Stuffing a wad of fabric in the grounders mouth, so that his yells will stop.

But they don't.

They almost seem louder.

I cover my mouth as the doctor pushes the syringe into the guys leg, so deep I can see blood start to ooze out.

This is what's going to happen to me?

I close my eyes tightly.

...Jasper....

I know I was mad at you and in some way I still am. But for some reason I want you here right now with me. It might be because your my best friend.

Or at least were.

But I don't want to die without seeing you one more time.

So please.

Even if I'm ungrateful and shoot daggers at you.

Please.

Find me.

"MONTY!"

** MONTY **

A familiar voice yells out and I grab onto the bars again. Every molecule in my body is jumping for joy as I know who it is. And he's here to save me.

"I'm over here!"

I quietly whisper.

I smile once I see Wallace with a key in his hand.

"You don't know how glad I am to see you."

He gives me a smile.

"What are you doing?"

The doctor stops with the syringe still in the guys leg as she turns around, blood all over her gloves.

"What your doing is wrong. It's inhumane."

Wallace gives the key to a figure behind him that I can't see. Once Wallace steps up to the doctor, I stop as I see Jasper step in front of me.

A giant smile spreads across his face.

He shakily places the key into the lock and it turns it as if he's too excited.

Why would he be excited to see me?

He's been ignoring me since we got here.

He finally opens it, grabbing my arm to help me out.

I push it off as I slip out from my stomach to the metal. I jump onto the ground.

"What's wrong? I'm trying to help you."

I look away as he tries to put himself in front of my eyes.

"Yeah?"

He widens his eyes once I finally look up at him.

"Why are you helping me? Are you getting something out of it? Like the satisfaction of being a hero in Maya's eyes?"

"What are you talking about?"

I shake my head.

"Guys, go now. Tell everyone to get packed up. Your all going home."

Wallace's voice fills the room as he yells out to us.

I glance over to see him staring at the doctor with his back to us.

"GO!"

He orders loudly and I don't even look at Jasper before following his orders.

Just follow orders. Don't look back at him.

I hear Jasper's slow footsteps behind me as I quickly walk.

Why do I want to disobey myself so badly?

** BELLAMY **

I feel my body getting another shot as I slowly open my eyes and I see I'm upside down as tables are on the ceiling.

"Don't worry. I'm not going to hurt you."

I hear a girl's voice.

What did she give me?

I start to feel a little more energetic. Things sparking up inside of me.

But only a little.

My body tumbles down as I hear a snap. I wince from the fall as I try to pick myself up.

"Sorry. But we need to move now if you want to get out of here."

I glance up to see a dark haired girl, with a determined look on her face.

Where am I?

==========

As we went through the reaper tunnels, I stopped once Lincoln's face looked strained.

"What's wrong?"

He grunts a little before placing a hand on his bald head.

"Bellamy I don't think I can continue. The red drug..."

I can see he's struggling as his face starts to become more and more sweaty.

We can't go back now through, we're too close.

He's gonna have to not succumb to his addiction.

I hear footsteps coming down the tunnels. Reapers.

I look over at Lincoln.

This may be bad.

\-------

He ended up keeping it together long enough to say I was his prisoner and he was talking me to the Mountain men.

Now, we're walking behind them hoping they don't sense a threat.

Us.

\--------

As we reach the entrance to the underground, I look over at Lincoln. The Mountain Men come out of an opening.

A couple of Mountain Men come out with the red drug in their hands and I widen my eyes. I know Lincoln's not ready for this.

Lincoln stares at the drug, trying to stop himself.

But then he takes it.

I struggle against one of the Mountain Men as they grab onto me. One of them decides to knock me over upside the head.

As things turn black, the last thing I see is Lincoln stick the needle into his arm as if he's not guilty.

\---------

I wake up.

Boiling water sprays all over me, making me scream out in agony.

I can't see anything, I can't feel anything except warm numbness, and I have no idea what's going on.

Once the spraying stops, I finally have the strength to open my eyes and see a tube over me. Liquid starts to seep out from little droplets. I struggle, remembering what Lincoln said about the process.

He said it would hurt more than anything.

The liquid bursts out in a matter of seconds, nothing I can do to stop it.

My body feels as if it's on fire.

"STOP!"

Is all I can yell before the room fills up with screams.

========

I can still feel the heat against my skin.

The girl helps me up by her hand and wraps her arm around my waist to keep me up.

"My names Maya. What's yours?"

I eye her, my throat feeling dry.

"Bellamy."

It comes out rough like fingernails against metal.

"Oh. I've heard a lot about you from Monty and Jasper. Even Clarke, when she was here. I kind of wonder where she went. "

She keeps me up as she tries to help me move forward.

"Well Bellamy. I'm getting you out of here."

** CLARKE **

We have Lexa on our side now since we agreed to get her people out of Mount Weather along with your people.

But now we just have to make sure she keeps her end of the bargain.

She still doesn't seem happy with us which could make it hard to trust each other.

** BELLAMY **

Maya stares at the guard I just shot as if she had never seen a dead body before.

I placed his gun into my back pocket.

I had no other choice, he had shocked me and I had to make a split second decision to make sure we weren't caught. I wish I could have just knocked him out.

But it was too late.

"Are you o-"

Her eyes dart up to mine, stopping me.

"I'm fine."

I can see that she's not really fine. But we continue walking.

I take off the guards overcoat, along with his patch, and his hat before we leave.

\-----------

After we leave the elevator, Maya leads the way but I stop as I notice kids walking into a room which must be their school. I remember having school. But we were too down on the radar to have prestigious schooling like Clarke or Wells.

I stop once I see the name Lovejoy, which was the guards name, on the kids backpacks. I feel my heart tighten.

There are actual civilians in here? Kids?

I swallow as a big lump develops in my throat.

I ruined that kids life. He'll never get to see his dad again. I took his father from him...

The alarms start to ring as Maya and me reach a large entrance to a room.

My thoughts stop once the doors slam where the entrance used to be.

I glance inside the window seeing Jasper and the rest of our group inside.

Jasper catches my eyes.

I'm going to get you guys out.

"You have to get me to a radio."

**JASPER**

"Everyone get weapons. We don't know what they could pull."

I announce as I pick up a large piece of wood that had been broken off by accident when everyone was scrambling.

"No shit, sherlock."

I groan as I turn to Monty.

"OK! Monty what is wrong?"

My arms gesture out, trying to keep in a vertical motion.

How could he be acting like this? He's always been the cheery one.

"How can you be acting like this after I saved you?!"

I see him about to blow, as he tries to take my words but just can't.

"After you saved me?! How about after all the times I saved you?!"

I stand, silent.

"When we got here you were acting like I was a piece of meat on the ground. Useless. No help. You didn't even try to hang out with me anymore."

He finally airs out all his dirty laundry in one big breath. He breathes heavily, as he tries to gain the air back.

I feel all eyes on us.

"I didn't even notice."

I look away, realizing I was in the wrong.

"Of course you didn't notice. You had a girlfriend. You didn't need your best friend anymore."

I can tell how sad he is from his voice.

"I need you. I'll always need you. I'm so sorry. I guess in a way I thought I was helping you. Finally I thought. You could stop stressing out from worrying about me because I was here, I was safe."

His eyes wander to mine.

"It just made me more stressed. I thought you would never talk to me again. I thought we were done."

His forehead wrinkles up.

"Monty. I was the one who went after you when you went missing. I was the one who realized you weren't there. Right when I didn't see you I felt like... like..."

He finally looks back over at me as my voice starts to tremble.

"Like I lost a part of myself."

I finally get out. I see a familiar comforting smile rise to his lips.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have kept this inside."

We both start to walk up to each other.

We meet halfway as I wrap my arms around his neck and he does so to my torso.

"I'm more sorry."

I tighten my hold on him.

I never want to lose him again.

** CLARKE **

"Raven? Any sign?"

I try to calm down my nerves but Raven shakes her head.

I walk back and forth.

Why do I keep asking if I know what the answers going to be?

Why did I act like that? I know it was supposed to make it easier but it feels harder.

What if he doesn't make it?

Static comes from where Raven's sitting, making me rush over.

I grab onto the radio com and push the button on the side.

"BELLAMY?!"

I keep my mouth to the com as I take my finger off the button.

I wait...

And wait.

The silence feels like a century.

"Clarke? What are you doing there?"

I hear his voice and I sigh in relief.

Even if it's just his voice, it's more than enough.

I hear the static still, waiting for him to continue.

"You didn't seem like you cared whether I lived or died. What are you there?"

I feel something rise up.

"Why wouldn't I be helping? I am the leader that's still here after all!"

I instantly regret those words.

"How are you a leader when you don't even care about your co leader?!"

I scoff.

He did not just say that.

I press the button, going to yell again but Raven intervenes.

"Look, I get your both mad but Bellamy what's going on? This can wait!"

I achem, releasing the button.

"Ok. Well the delinquents have been locked up by some shut down. Things look like their about to get really ugly but we need another plan that doesn't kill everyone because there are kids and civilians in here."

Another plan on such short notice?

Especially when Lexa wants to kill every single Mountain Men?

"Just turn off the acid fog and free the imprisoned Grounders for now. We'll figure out a plan."

I respond.

"Roger that."

I comb a hand through my hair, walking a bit away.

"Why are you fighting with him when you obviously care about him?"

I look over to Raven.

"It's because I care about him that I fight with him. It's difficult for anyone to understand."

She stares at me.

"Try me."

I shake my head.

"We need to get this done."


	31. Fighting for Freedom

** JASPER **

The door starts to open with three sets of legs showing from the other side of the door.

I aim my weapon up.

"Everyone on guard!"

Everyone does as commanded as they pull up the best weapons they could scrounge out.

We might not have great weapons, but at least we won't go down without a fight.

Two Mountain Men enter with the doctor that tried to hurt Monty behind them.

My teeth clench.

They stare at us for a moment before smiling.

"You all are incredibly special, I hope you know that."

The doctor announces as one of the Mountain Men try to walk up to one of our people. The rest of us are ready.

I hit him in the head with my stick which makes him go off balance at least for a second. He steadies soon after.

He turns to me instead now and gives me a grin.

I try to hit him again but in the stomach this time. He catches the stick mid air and pulls it away from me, scraping my hand in the process.

I wince as he grabs onto my hand, putting more pressure on the wound.

Suddenly, a giant stick collides with his face and his grip loosens. I take the chance to slide my foot under his and he trips with a thud.

The other Mountain Man that was protecting the doctor, runs towards us with excel speed as he grabs onto Monty's stick that hurt one of his fellow teammates.

Once he gets a hold of it, he breaks it in half with his leg.

The man grabs onto me. I widen my eyes, no weapon to fend him off with.

Before anyone can come help, about two more Mountain Men run into the room and begin to help the man that has me..

One of the giant men stay back to hold the others from helping me out.

"Jasper!"

Monty yells out as I try to struggle.

They keep on dragging me, no sign of stopping.

Instead they grip onto my wrists tighter, making me struggle even harder.

I stop moving for a second as I see Monty push away the man, running over to me.

"MONTY!"

I cry out in warning as the man regains himself and grabs onto Monty's shirt pulling him back. He punches him into the face.

I feel something inside me snap as Monty crashes to the floor, blood dripping out of his nose.

NO!

With one more ounce left of strength, I stop my feet onto the ground which slows them down.

Turning my hands to the side, I twist their own hand and their grip loosens making the perfect chance to get out.

I take the chance, running over to Monty

But before I can, I see the other man ready to fight me off.

It now or never.

"STOP!"

Everything pauses as a voice yells out from behind me.

I hear clapping as I slowly turn around to see the doctor.

"I didn't think you'd put up such a fight. But your just full of surprises."

She smiles, turning her head a bit to the side as if to gesture to someone.

I glance over, seeing the big man grab onto a blonde girl I didn't recognize.

"We won't take you precious...best friend."

I see the girl struggle against his hand but it's no use. The man slowly moves the girl over to where the other Mountain Men are.

"...We'll come back though."

I just watch as they leave. As she leaves with a smile.

They were always going to take someone.

** BELLAMY **

With the earpiece that Maya gave me in, I slowly started to climb through the vents.

It's my own contact with Clarke right now even though I'm still a bit mad at how she acted before.

I just need to focus on the mission at hand.

I stop once I see a vent window.

I catch my mouth almost gagging as I see a doctor looking person drill into a blonde girl's head.

Hair almost like Clarke's... What if she were done here still?

Would this be her?

Would I still want to be in this fight?

"Here. Take the bone marrow."

She gives a vial filled with the stuff she extracted to a dark haired guy. A figure I could never forget then comes up.

Cage.

He has a smile on his face.

"We're supposed to release the delinquents."

His smile fades.

"It doesn't matter right now. We're sending a bomb on Tondc where all the leaders are meeting."

Clarke...

"Clarke did you hear that?"

I whisper, with my hand acting as a barrier to the people below me.

"I'm leaving now. Stay safe Bell."

I smile at the warning.

** CLARKE **

I run into Tondc, seeing Octavia.

"Octavia you need to leave."

She looks at me with confusion.

"Don't worry about it. I just need you to go look for Lincoln.

She nods, not taking another second to run out into the woods.

I needed to get her out.

Bell would want that.

Now to find Lexa.

\---------

"Lexa!"

After a few minutes, I finally find her in the war tent. She turns around at the sound of my call.

"We need to warn everybody. A bomb is coming down on Tondc and I have no idea when."

She looks away from a second.

"No. We need to keep it a secret for now. Or they'll know we were warned."

I take a step back.

"What? This is your people your talking about and you want to risk their lives?"

She doesn't answer.

"Of course you do. Because you want to save only yourself. Love is weakness right?"

I shake my head, walking out of the tent.

I can't keep this a secret.

\--------

I stand near the tree with my mom beside me.

I do still have some resentment towards her, but I said I'd try.

And I would.

"EVERYONE I NEED YOUR ATTENTI-"

My speech is cut very short as a giant explosion sends me flying with the dirt.

** BELLAMY **

I get back on the ground and run into the cafeteria area with Maya.

Stopping, I see Jasper on the ground next to a body.

"Bellamy!"

Someone yells and everyone turns to us but I ignore them as I walk up towards Jasper.

"We still have a long way to go before we're out for sure."

I crouch down.

"Is he going to be ok?"

Jasper finally looks up at me. He nods.

"He should be. Thankfully he was just knocked out."

I pat him on the shoulder as he wipes Monty's nose with his own sleeve.

I get up as Maya gets on her knees on the other side of Monty's body.

Right. I heard about the sudden romance from Clarke.

======

"It was outrageous. I can't believe he would trust them. I almost felt like slapping him to get him back into his own right mind."

=====

"I'm sorry Jasper. I shouldn't have accused you of being.. that."

He glances at her, for a second.

"Yeah. You shouldn't have. You should know the whole story before you accuse."

She looks down, guilty.

I don't know what their fighting about.

But I can feel the tension filling in the air around them.

Static.

The black box overhead send sout static.

"Alert. Alert. Radiation leak. All transfusion subjects escape from the emergency exit."

A robotic voice stops me from moving.

Me and Maya catch eyes.

She hasn't had the transfusion yet.

I see her look down again, accepting her death.

I can't do that.

There has to be some leftover bone marrow from the bodies. Something. When I became a leader I vowed to help everyone I could.

She helped me. So I have to do the same.

I rush over to Maya, grabbing her wrist.

"What are you doing Bellamy? You can't do anything!"

She yells at me with tears entering her eyes.

"No. You saved me I can't just not help."

She doesn't pull back now as I drag her away from the rest of the group.

Her body feels heavy as I drag her along.

I can sense she's given up all hope.

We have to hurry.

** JASPER **

I look behind me as Bellamy drags Maya away.

Looking away, I feel a bit guilty.

Shouldn't I feel like helping? I'm her boyfriend...

"Mmm..."

Hearing a groan, I look down at Monty to see him head move to the side. His face scrunches up as his eyes flutter open. They stare at me for a second in a squint before they open more and look around.

"I got the shit beaten out of me, didn't I?"

He touches his head and his face, where a bruise has started to form.

"Well I hope not. That would be another problem."

I joke and he starts chuckling before he winces.

"My face..."

I start laughing quietly to myself as he tries not to put pressure on his cheek.

"One punch. All it took was one punch."

I shake my head, as if disappointed.

I try to hide my smile.

"ONE PUNCH MAN!"

He whisper yells as if drugged up, raising his fist up and then dropping it back down to his side.

He's always so stupid.

A good kind of stupid though.

Maybe even better than my stupid.

I place my hand on his head, before rustling up his dark soft hair.

What was I thinking about again?


	32. Maya's Problems

** BELLAMY **

We finally reach the lab after getting off the elevator. I rush up to the metal counters covering the walls around a silver bed in the middle of the whole room.

"You won't find anything. They would have used it on themselves."

I grumble at her very cheery response as I continue rummaging through the containers on the counters.

"Maybe instead of speaking your optimistic comments, you could help me try to save your life."

I jerk my head towards her as she shakes her head.

She rolls her eyes and crosses her arms.

"Why should I even be alive? The only reason we met was because Jasper knew me. And now I'm pretty sure he hates me."

I hear her footsteps walk across the marble floor, before jumping onto the bed.

"He doesn't hate you. Your his girlfriend. He can't hate you. He's not that type of person. Unless..."

I stop my hands as she continues.

"Unless I hurt Monty. Or in this case, talked bad about him."

I slowly open a drawer, listening.

There's a small click.

I look inside, seeing a caterpillar with a light blue lines across its body.

That looks like...

MOTHRA?!

=====

"This is Mothra. Don't be mad Bell. Yes me and Jasper let a strange creature into camp, but I swear he's harmless."

Monty holds out his hand with a caterpillar on it.

I stare for a second.

"Please don't be mad."

Jasper repeats for Monty.

"Mad? He's adorable."

I reach my finger over to the tiny creature, letting my pinkie brush across his fur.

Mothra doesn't bite or show any signs of danger.

Jasper and Monty sigh in relief.

"WHAT?! HE LIKES YOU?"

Clarke is not so keen on it.

I smirk.

"I guess I just have a way with living creatures. You on the other hand-"

"Don't finish that sentence Bellamy."

=======

I pick him up, letting him crawl along my fingers.

"So good to see you buddy."

I whisper.

He gets up on his hind legs and I realize it's really him.

"What?"

I slide him into my pocket.

"No. Nothing... what did you say about Monty?"

"I said he was annoying. I implied more like he was gay. That they both were. It's just all Jasper does is talk about Monty and I just feel so much more distanced from him lately. All Monty does is get his attention."

Feeling around in the drawer, I feel a plastic overcoat and pull it out to see one full syringe.

Bingo.

"All it is, is Monty this. Monty that. Jasper says it's just that he wants to share his stories.. But how can all his stories involve Monty?"

I stare at the syringe, looking over my shoulder to see Maya with pained expression on her face.

She won't be a threat to Monty right?

I have to think of my group.

"Jasper loves him."

She stops pounding her feet on the exterior of the table.

Her face turns a shade like a blank piece of paper. I slowly walk up, puing the cap off of the syringe as I close in on her.

"As a brother."

I finish as I stab the sharp needle into her leg. I hit a hard part, which I guess is her bone.

"Oww!"

She winces as I push in the top part and the liquid slowly moves into her body.

"He loves him. But not like that. "

She stares at me.

"So if you ever try to hurt Monty. You'll have to answer to me."

I quickly pull the syringe out, throwing it behind me.

"I'm giving you a chance. Jasper will give you another one but I might not. Got it?"

She swallows.

My main group always comes first.

I will not let anyone hurt them.

"Got it."

\---------

As we make it back to the cafeteria where everyone still is, I look over to Maya one more time as she holds the hole I made in her yellow suit.

I guess we need to wait a while before the serum kicks in.

If someone had told me sooner. I would have found a way without damaging her only vessel.

No time for that now though.

"The Grounders are coming. The war has started. We need to be ready."

I announce loudly and everyone looks at each other nervously.

Until..

"DOWN WITH THE MOUNTAIN MEN!"

Jasper yells out in an excited way as he nudges Monty beside him.

Everyone soon joins in on the cheer.

** CLARKE **

I still feel guilty for not telling them about the attack sooner but now I need to save my people.

We're near the Mount Weather entrance and waiting for a sign from our people. Wells is beside me. I look over near the trees behind all the Grounders and the Ark group as I see Lexa talking to a man in a suit. In secret.

Is that... a Mountain Man?

Before I can even walk over, he walks away.

Maybe it's nothing.

\---------

The door finally opens and I straighten my position as the Grounders group starts to walk out with slow movements. They walk back to where their group is. I wait for my people to make their appearance.

...But just as all the Grounders make it out, the door suddenly closes.

I widen my eyes as I feel my heart sink in my chest.

"LEXA!"

I yell out as I see her walking behind her big group of Grounders that are making their way out. The smile on her face decimates as she turns to face me.

"Don't tell me..."

"I'm sorry Clarke. I trust you, but your people are weak. They would never survive in this world."

I almost gape, but keep my position strong.

"I had to make the deal so that my people could make it out safely. You would have done the same thing."

"But I didn't!"

"You would have. Had you had the same chance as me."

With a final glance, she turns around and starts walking away again.

I wouldn't have done the same. I would have found another way.

She calls herself a leader?

My breath is almost sucked out of me as I comb a hand through my hair. I walk over to Raven who has the radio with her.

I should have seen it coming.

I bring the com up to my mouth.

"...Bellamy?"

I quietly whisper.

I slip my finger off the button as static surrounds us.

"Clarke! Are they coming? I have everyone ready and I'm in the control room."

I hear the excitement in his voice which makes my throat go dry.

I press the button again.

"Bellamy... their gone. I don't have the army anymore. They left."

I hear static again.

"I will get you out. No matter what. I will get you out, Bell."

There's only one thing I can do now.

I have to get him out, no matter the cost.

Even if that cost is my life.

"I'm going in."

Before he can say anything else, I head for the tunnels Octavia went into.

** BELLAMY **

I stand frozen, staring at everyone in the room.

"Clarke? CLARKE DON'T COME DOWN HERE!"

I try to yell into the earpiece.

"She's gone Bellamy."

Raven speaks up.

I can't help but tear the piece out of my ear and throw it down to the ground in a fit of rage.

If she comes down here, she could get killed.

Knowing they'll come through the tunnels, I head for the door.

"Make sure everyone safe and keep the room guarded. If you can, get everything set up."

Monty looks at me with a worried expression.

You can do this Monty.


	33. Saving Him

** BELLAMY **

As I walk into the tunnels, I hear footsteps walking towards my direction.

I stop in my tracks as I see a familiar dark haired girl. I start to walk over with a big smile but slow down as I see Clarke with Wells behind O.

Stealing a glance to her, I hug my sister.

I'm even more mad at her because she came down here.

Does she not get how risky it is?

At least O has trained for this. Become stronger and less emotional. I don't even want her down here but I trust her to protect herself.

Clarke knows how to be a leader, but she barely knows how to fight.

"We need to do this now."

I state, pulling away.

"Lead the way."

Clarke starts walking first. Wells follows close by. I catch up to him.

"Why did you let her come down here?"

"I couldn't stop her Bell. She was determined."

I sigh.

"Well at least you talked her into letting you come."

He nods.

"That was even hard."

\---------

Soon we make it back to the control room.

I see Monty sitting down at the console as he presses some things.

I quickly walk up to him, hearing him mumble to himself.

"Ok... now the outside air will go through the vents of Mount Weather so that everyone still in here will be eradicated."

He looks up at me with a nervous look in his eyes.

"Just pull this lever and its all done."

He moves back the chair and gets up, walking over to Jasper.

I stare at the lever.

"We need to wait for someone to get back."

Clarke looks around.

"Where... is Wells."

"He needed to take care of some business."

=======

"Have you gotten everyone out of their cells?"

Wells asks with some underlying worry.

"No. I've been a bit busy. Why?"

He looks away.

"Nothing. Just don't want to leave anyone behind. Wait for me when you get back."

"Do you know how to unlock all the rooms?"

"Don't worry. Bell. I've got this."

=========

Get back soon buddy.

** MURPHY **

Laying on my bed, I stare up at the ceiling.

The white almost makes me dizzy. Not a speck of dirt anywhere to be seen.

This is what I've been doing most of my time here.

All I could do.

Why haven't they come in yet?

Did they get tired of the beatings?

======

A large guy comes into my room.

"Where am I?"

I start to rub my head from the sudden hazy feeling.

The guy grabs onto my wrist.

"It's time for lunch."

I struggle against his hold, trying to get out.

"No. I'm not going anywhere. Where am I?"

He doesn't answer.

I keep struggling until I feel a bit more power. I knock my head against his and run for the door. I'm pulled from under in a matter of seconds like the floor just disappeared from under me.

"STOP IT LET ME GO YOU BIG BITCH!"

He knocks my head into the floor, causing my nose to crack.

He doesn't seem to ease up.

I try to struggle but he keeps pushing my head into the ground. I see blood remnants drip onto the ground as I'm pushed in yet again.

Everything becomes hazy again.

The pain seems to subside as things turn dark.

\---------

I sit, waiting for them to come in.

It's been multiple mornings of beatings and struggle because I wouldn't go with them.

I have no idea what's going on but all I know is that I cannot give up.

The door opens as if on cue and a white haired guy comes in.

Different...

Weak...

"Are you going to come out today?"

I look away.

"You know. We don't want to hurt you. Your friends are down there waiting for you."

"I have no friends."

He sets the food tray next to the door.

"I'll come back later if you change your mind."

He stands there for a few more seconds but I say nothing.

He goes to leave and I dash up with the strength i've been trying to save up.

Suddenly two big brutes come out from outside the door and stand in front of the white haired guy. Including my daily abuser.

I sigh.

"Let's just get this over with."

\----------

It seems I've been taken away the only freedom I had.

They tied me to the bed.

Now they try to feed me by spoon feeding but I just spit it back at them, causing me to get punched yet again.

It's been weeks of this.

I don't know how much more I can take.

=======

I just want to sleep,

And not wake up ever again.

** WELLS **

With the keys in my hands, I unlock every door on my way to the end of the hall.

It's good only one key is used for each door.

Bad for them. Good for me.

Once I reach the last door, I take a deep breath ready for anything.

I unlock it and then throw the key over my shoulder as I push the door open.

"Murphy?"

I walk in, stopping as I see him on the bed.

I instantly notice the ropes around his hands and legs so that he can't get up from the bed.

Rushing over, I grab onto one of the ropes trying to untangle it.

I was not ready for this. I thought he would fight me on leaving since he loved it so much here. That's why I thought he stayed in his room. Peace from us.

But he just looks like death.

"What are you doing here?"

His voice comes out rough as if he has no strength anymore. I notice the bruises along his wrists, the ropes digging into his flesh like a hook inside a fish's mouth. There is dry blood all over the ropes and his hands.

I try to pull them hard towards me to loosen them.

"We have to kill the Mountain Men. We started a war and everything is going to crap."

There's silence for a moment as he stares at the ceiling.

I keep pulling the ropes taking moments to look towards him.

"Leave me."

I stop.

"What?"

He turns his head to look at me.

Any light he had in his eyes is gone. Like he's ready to stop fighting. There are light bruises along his eyes. Deeper and darker ones on the side of his cheek.

"I'm just useless garbage by this point. Leave me. Go."

I don't even humor the idea as I finally get one of the ropes free and start on his other wrist.

"Are you an idiot? Go. I'll just hold everyone back."

Anger fills up inside me as his image of himself depletes in his voice.

I pull the other rope out.

His arm falls limp onto the bed.

"There's no use. Just leave me."

I start on the ankles ropes.

"No."

I use my strength. All the strength I can to pull it out.

Come on. Come on.

It snaps loose and I go to the last rope.

"WILL YOU JUST LISTEN TO ME?! I DON'T WANT TO GO!"

He yells, wincing as he falls back down.

I pull the last rope out and grab onto his wrists.

"Yes your a pain in the ass and the group hates you. Yes I wish I could leave you here and let you die. But I can't. Because I can't let anyone else die."

He looks away, trying to clench his teeth from the pain.

But it seems like his teeth hurt just as much as his body.

"What did they do to you?"

I try to help him up, but his body begins to grow heavy as I lift him up from under his arms

"What I deserved."

With every movement I make to him, it just seems to cause him more pain.

"You can want to die later. Right now we need to get out of here. So bear with me."

He keeps silent as his eyes start to close.

"Don't give up now Murphy. Please. We've lost too many people."

"....Just.... move."

He makes out, through half closed eyes.

I start to move.


	34. Pulling the Lever

**BELLAMY**

Wells better get back soon.

I see Jasper place a hand on Monty's shoulder, telling him everything will be ok.

I don't want to kill anyone. Innocent people are down here.

Wells suddenly rushes into the room with a beaten up Murphy wincing around his arms.

He sets Murphy against the wall and then rushes back up against the door, keeping it closed with his strength.

"We need to do this now. Their coming."

Banging starts to make its way in from behind the door. Wells body shakes as he pushes back the door.

"What is he doing here? You wasted your time getting him?"

"NO TIME CLARKE!"

"I said the same thing princess."

Clarke glares as Murphy who looks pale and deathly.

We need to do this now.

Clarke walks up to me, right in front of the lever.

I widen my eyes.

"What do you think your doing?"

I rush to grab her wrist as she puts her hand on the lever.

She just stares at the lever.

"I need to do this Bell. It's my fault we're in a risky situation. I lost our army."

I tighten my hold on her for a second.

"...You can't do this alone. Your not perfect, but it was not your fault Lexa betrayed us. I'll carry this weight with you."

I slide my hand on top of hers that's on the lever.

"Together."

She finally looks up at me with those big eyes that would make anyone crumble to defeat.

I give a small smile in agreement.

"Together."

With one breath, we both push down the lever with all our strength.

The pounding on the door soon stops.

It's replaced with screams.

Screams everywhere.

I glance up at the camera screens over by us.

I regret it.

People sizzle like on a fire.

I want to look away, but for some reason I can't.

....Then the screams finally all stop. All that's left are burnt up skeletons.

Trying to be strong, I look away from the camera's.

Everyone's silent.

\-------

After minutes, I look to Maya.

I see her staring at Jasper and Monty. Jasper is holding Monty in his chest as if to shield him away from the gruesome sight. They both look traumatized.

Jasper has his chin on Monty's head as he closes his eyes sadly.

His eyes wander to Maya and he gives her a small smile. An apologetic smile.

She smiles back but I can see the sadness in her eyes as she glances at them again. They seperate from the hug but Jasper's hand is now on Monty's shoulder.

"I should go gather the food I can from the storage closet before we go. We're gonna need it."

Jasper takes his hand off Monty's shoulder as he starts walking towards the door.

"I'll go with you."

Monty soon follows in suit.

Maya rubs her arm, looking down at the ground.

Why do I feel such a need to help?

"Actually Monty how about I go? I can gather more stuff. No offense."

I quickly suggest as Jasper opens the door.

Monty and Jasper look at each other.

"Yeah. That's probably be for the best."

Monty backs away into a wall nearby.

Jasper glances over at me before leaving through the door. I follow him out, shutting the door behind me.

"You seemed in a bit of a rush to come with me. I'm not gonna believe what you told Monty. You seemed to eager."

He stops right outside the door.

He doesn't look at me as he glides his hand along the wall.

"This is about Maya isn't it? I saw how you were looking at her."

I continue to walk beside him.

I don't know why I care so much. Probably because I can't have more problems in the group. It'll just create more problems and we all need to be able to rely on each other.

I know Maya still has her suspicious about them.

"Do you like him? As more than a friend?"

His hand stops as he lays his palm down.

He obviously knows who I'm talking about.

His head turns down to the ground.

"Why do you guys keep assuming this about us? First Maya, which I could understand. But now you Bell? You've known us longer."

His hand balls up into a fist as he takes a deep breath.

He turns around in a sudden twist, arms dropping to his sides as his eyes bore into mine.

"No."

I stare.

"I don't like him in that way you guys keep thinking. Me and him have been best friends since we were kids and maybe it's weird for you guys that me and him are so close... but we just are."

His voice comes out deeper and his eyes are in a glaring stare.

"Then why are you acting like that to her?"

He shakes his head as if I've got it all wrong.

"It's not just me. She got all mad because I wouldn't talk to her about anything except Monty. We had nothing else to talk about except food and then she called me gay pretty much."

He looks away, obviously hurt.

"Well you and Monty aren't making it seem like you aren't. You can say that's just because your close friends but it doesn't really seem like that sometimes."

He furrows his eyebrows.

"I DON'T LIKE MONTY IN THAT WAY!"

He takes a deep breath as he turns around.

"He's the only person I've had for so long. Even in prison we weren't apart for very long. He was there for me when my parents died and I was there for him in the same situation. I seriously tried to distance myself from him when we got here and I got a girlfriend. But I guess even being away from him physically...I had never gotten away from him mentally."

He sigh.

They really are like brothers aren't they?

Even for a second, how couldn't I believe him?

I lay my hand on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry I asked. I should have known. I knew your relationship and I went too far."

I feel like a super ass right now.

"...But you should tell Maya this. Now that we're out of this place maybe you could grow closer to her and have more to talk about? Show her around? You can have both your brother and your girlfriend. You just have to make time for both of them."

He nods.

"Maybe your right."

He turns around, putting on a smile.

"Now let's go get some food. We should get out of this place as soon as we can."

"I agree."


	35. Moving On?

** MONTY **

Jasper and Bell get back with backpacks.

As we start to leave, I stop.

"Wait. We still need to find-"

"Mothra?"

Bell asks, interrupting me.

"How did you know?"

He digs into his pocket, cupping his hand as he takes it out.

I widen my eyes and gently pick up the adventurous caterpillar from the center of his hand.

"I missed you."

I whisper as I bring him closer to my face.

"Thank you Bellamy."

I can't believe that I almost forgot to go find him. I can't believe I lost him in the first place. If I didn't put him in danger...

Jasper speeds over, adjusting the backpack full of food on his shoulders.

"I didn't even realize he was missing. I thought he had been in your pocket."

I glance away as Jasper slides a finger against Mothra's back.

"It's my fault. If I didn't go looking places I shouldn't have..."

"Monty."

I wander my eyes up to his as a forceful tone pulls me in.

"It's not your fault. He's fine. And if you hadn't gone looking, then we might not have stopped this. Most of us wouldn't be ready and even more would have been stabbed for bone marrow."

His eyes show me a positive path. His smile radiates my body. And even as I feel all these good things, I can't help but feel guilty.

"Maybe you should carry him."

I push my hand to him but Mothra doesn't move.

"No Monty. He knows you love him. He doesn't want to leave you. Your a great father and even I could have made the mistake. I was preoccupied."

I glance over at Maya.

I nod.

"Ok. Now let's get out of here before someone stops us."

Smiling, we start to leave. I know I shouldn't be smiling after all that's happened. But it feels good to. That even after all this crap I can still smile.

Wells helps Murphy up, but Murphy looks heavy and he won't move at all.

I swoop in and take Murphy's other arm.

Wells notices and gives me a thankful nod.

We keep walking, trying to lift him up with all our strength but he already feels like he's given up. Like a giant stone.

Like he's already dead.

Now he's just a limp body that can't do anything except stay still because he has no other choice.

But Wells is trying. So I will too.

** CLARKE **

We quickly start to head to camp, no one talking and the only noise being the mutated birds along with the swampy water's tiny waves.

I can't look at Bell. I feel too guilty about what I did.

I don't know if I can ever look at this group the same way ever again.

\---------

We reach the gate not too long after. I stare at the wooden structure that spans across the camp. Our home.

Their home.

I stand outside of the gate, everyone heading inside as soon as it opens.

Bell notices something off and stays outside with me.

"I think we deserve a drink. Don't you?"

He smiles, walking closer as if we didn't just kill innocents a little while ago.

I glance over at the camp behind him. I see everyone inside start to celebrate with Monty mixing up some drinks. People crowd around him with their cups ready.

Wells heads a limp looking Murphy to the medical tent.

Jasper talks pretty closely with Maya.

They seem like they'll do just fine.

My eyes land back on Bellamy.

"Have one for me."

I can't go back in there. Not after what I did to get them where they are now.

His optimistic facade fades away as a frantic expression escapes onto his face.

"Hey. We can get through this."

His tone turns serious.

He places a hand onto my shoulder, trying to comfort me.

I turn away, not being able to look him in the eyes.

Speaking of eyes, mine are starting to heat up.

"I'm not going in, Bell."

The tension in the air grows thicker.

"Look, if you need forgiveness, I'll give you that. You're forgiven."

The tears start to fight against my eyelids.

I remember the moment I had said those very words to him. How could I turn against him now?

But I had to...

His grip tightens on my shoulder as if I'm going to fly away.

"Please come inside."

The pleading is so clear in his voice. It almost makes me want to throw away all my morals and just go inside. Almost.

"Take care of them for me."

I breathe in, trying to pull back the tears as I finally look up at his deep brown eyes.

Instant mistake.

I probably won't ever see these eyes again.

I stare at the way they glisten from the sun shining onto his tears.

"Clarke..."

His voice makes me want to comply.

I pull his arm off of my shoulder, which is harder than I thought. Physically and mentally.

I can't go inside.

I wish he could just understand that.

I know that it can't be easy, but it's for the best.

** JASPER **

I stand in front of Maya, seeing that she's a total fish out of water.

She glances from place to pace, not sure on where to look.

My attention turns to Monty in an unconscious moment as I see him hopped up on everyone else's energy and take a shot of the moonshine he just made.

He better not get sick. He knows he has a weak tolerance.

I stop myself.

I think I see why Bellamy and Maya were so suspicious of me and Monty. I need to stop focusing on him so much. I need to take a chance on something new.

"Hey."

I greet, causing her to look up at me.

She catches my eyes. Obviously nervous from her smile as if we've never met.

I guess we never did get to know each other very well.

"Look, I'm really sorry about what happened. I didn't mean to focus on Monty so much. I guess after being friends with him so long it's easy to lose myself in talking about him."

She nods, before sighing.

"No. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have assumed anything. I guess I was just jealous."

I almost laugh at her being jealous of a guy. But I get it.

"How about we just agree to both of us being the problem and start over?"

She takes a second before smiling.

"I'd love that."

"Let me show you around."

I gesture my hand out to the camp. She smiles wider, almost laughing.

I give her a smile, grabbing onto her hand.

But I don't intertwine my fingers with hers.

I just hold it. Like how I did in Mount Weather.

Now to show off my girlfriend to people.

** CLARKE **

"Clarke..."

I try to ignore his pleading whispers.

"No Bell. Seeing their faces everyday... it's just going to remind me of what I did to get them here."

"What we did."

I know he did it too. I know. And I want to stay, to have him by my side. I just don't think I should.

"You don't have to do this alone."

His hand grabs onto my wrist slowly.

I shake my head, biting onto my lip as I try to not the tears fall.

"Where are you gonna go?"

His grip loosens as if he finally realizes what's happening.

"I don't know. But I'll be fine. I promise."

"Yeah that's so uplifting."

His eyes wander to the ground.

I quickly wrap my arms around him, making sure to touch every inch of him as I can.

My heart almost breaking, I move away. I only take one more second to kiss him on the cheek.

I didn't want to move away, but I know if I didn't... I'd probably just end up staying.

"May we meet again"

I whisper in his ear before turning away.

I start walking towards the woods.

My lip quivers slightly, with tears falling down my cheeks. I wipe them away, trying to stay strong.

"May we meet ag-"

He stops whispering to himself suddenly. I swear if he tells me to go back I will. But he doesn't speak up.

I keep walking but I want to go back so badly.

I won't be able to see him every day. To hear his bossy demands, only to shut them down. To work with him and be by his side. I won't be able to do any of that.

I'll just end up being a stranger.

A stranger wanting to go back to her family.

"CLARKE!"


	36. Together

** CLARKE **

My whole body stops to a half, turning around at the sound of his footsteps running behind me.

"Bell?"

I have so much hope he'll tell me to stay.

Just say something.

Everything started to move in a fast pace and as if they had always been there, his lips were on mine. I couldn't help but be frozen as I saw his face in front of mine.

I close them, moving my lips to be in sync with his.

I raise my hand up to move through his hair as the emotions I tried to bottle up come out.

Tears trickle down my face with no hesitation.

I feel like he's home. Like he's earth.

I can't leave now.

I deepen the kiss, wrapping my arms around his neck.

As long as he's by my side, I can survive anything and everything with him.

This didn't feel like a goodbye kiss. It felt like we were beginning something that had been waiting for a while now. Like this was the beginning of us.

I can't leave him. I can't leave my people.

I don't know how I ever thought I could.

** BELLAMY **

I saw her walking away. I couldn't just let her leave.

I couldn't stop my body as I ran towards her and kissed her.

I realized in this moment I didn't like her as a friend. Not as a co leader. But as so much more.

It took almost leaving her, to awaken these feelings that had been festering for a while now.

Once my lips were on hers I realized love wasn't weakness. It was a strength stronger than anything else. It was stronger than the forces that would try to break us apart.

I move away, keeping my hands on the sides of her arms.

I stare at the smile on her face.

"I know I might be going too far with this. But Clarke Griffin. I want you to stay. I want to be selfish this once and make you stay. I love you."

There's a silence for a few seconds as the tears on her face start to dry.

I wipe them away with my thumb.

"I love you too."

The blush becomes clear on her cheeks.

"So does that mean you'll come in?"

I slide my hands down to hers and grab onto both of them.

She nods.

"Of course. How could I not now?"

I feel the grin crawl onto my face. And I know it won't be coming off anytime soon.

I remove one of my hands from hers as I begin to pull her into camp so that she can't change her mind.

She takes a deep breath as we close in.

I squeeze her hand, telling her she can do this.

We can do this.

As we enter through the gates, I feel her intertwine her fingers in between mine.

I look around, seeing everyone smiling and celebrating.

I see Jasper holding hands with Maya.

Even their fingers are intertwined.

I'm glad that I helped them get through their problem.

"Finally!"

Wells and Monty run up to us almost instantaneously.

They stare at our hands like the shock is hypnotizing them.

Eyes all over start to wander to us.

I guess it's official.

We're together.


	37. Waking Up Safe

** CLARKE **

I stare up at the ceiling of the tent, noticing the work of Bell and everyone who helped. I see the nails connecting each wood piece together but it doesn't look crooked. It looks neat and planned.

I can feel the sunlight shining in from the door like frame as it glows on my skin with a single touch.

I'm the happiest I have ever been in this moment.

I have my friends, my family, and now my boyfriend. Everyone's safe.

There's shuffling beside me, causing me to look over.

Speak of the devil...

He turns on his side to face me and I see the his curly bangs plop down near his eye. He opens his eyes as they catch onto mine and I can't help but smile as he tiredly tries to show his happiness.

HIs hand raises up to my own hair as he moves it to the side of my face with his finger grazing my skin.

"What are you doing up?"

His low voice catches me off guard after all the silence.

I look up again.

"It's called thinking Bell you should try it sometime."

A smirk comes across my lips and I hear him scoff.

"Ha. Ha. Good one Princess."

He sarcastically replies as I can sense him roll his eyes.

"I know. I try."

I flip the blanket off of me in a way it won't be removed from Bell also. I move my legs slowly over the bed as I sit up. He grips onto the back of my shirt as I start to get up which pulls me back.

I end up on his chest.

"Now what are you doing? Trying to ditch me?"

He's fully awake now as I stare into his eyes from the side which are analyzing me.

"Remember? You guys got a big catch last night so we had extras for breakfast. Monty and the rest are waiting for me."

He raises and eyebrow as he lets go.

"Do you want to join?"

I ask but I know he's just gonna end up coming with anyways. He's still cautious of Finn even after he got a girlfriend. I can't blame him though, Finn has been staring a lot still.

He has a right to worry also after that mishap in the woods.

He drops his head on the blanket as I take my chance to get up.

"Fine. I want to see the guys but also I want to make sure your safe."

Knew it.

He raises himself up, starting for the exit but I grab onto his bare arm to pull him back.

He gives me the what look as he turns back around. I look up and down his body with a really expression. I cross my arms.

"You think your missing anything?"

He looks around the room, obviously confused, which makes me sigh in annoyance.

"Your shirt Bell! Are you gonna put on a shirt?"

He eyes down to his body and his abs and puts on a smirk as he glances back up at me.

"I'm good. I want to show the ladies just what their missing."

I glare with intensity.

I pick up the closest shirt near me from his floor and throw it at him with as much force as I can.

"Well if you do your gonna be the one missing a girlfriend."

I move past him, bumping him on the way.

"Ass..."

I whisper under my breath and I hear him laughing behind me as I head for the drop ship.

I push aside the curtain for a door and see Jasper and Monty sitting in chairs beside each other. Their at a friendly distance from each other as they sip the mugs in their hands.

I glance around the room as I walk up to them.

"Hey. Where's Wells?"

I pull a third chair from one of the tables and set it in front of them.

"Probably still sleeping. Murphy practically tried to beat him up when Wells tried to help so he must be really tired."

Jasper states and I look away.

That guy...

I don't even know why he tries so much with Murphy. He's just gonna end up disappointing him like always.

I stand behind the chair.

"I'll go wake him up but first Jasper. How's Maya?"

He sets his mug down in his lap as he looks at what's inside with a saddish sigh.

"It's been a bit hard. She's still processing all that happened down there and it hasn't been easy. But we're getting through it."

I small smile escapes his face.

"It'll all end up okay Jasper. It always does."

Monty sets a hand on Jasper's shoulder and Jasper nods.

"I know. All in due time right."

Monty smiles at his response but Jasper doesn't look up.

Such best friends.

Speaking of best friends.

"Be right back."

I head out and towards Well's tent.

I open the curtain over his frame as I walk right inside without even a warning. I see him in bed, mouth open as he snores mildly.

Just like on the Ark.

I pick up one of his shirt off the ground and push it into a ball before throwing it at his head, which is almost sliding off the bed.

"Rise and shine bestie!"

I yell in a girlish tone before he bounces up with an almost yell. I widen my eyes in shock as he breathes heavily for a few seconds.

He falls back into bed as he pulls one of his pillows over his head.

"Can't I just have one more hour of sleep?"

He groans like a child as he swats his hand at mine trying to grab his wrist to pull him out of bed.

"No. Not allowed. I need you to go hunting with Bellamy today. He says he won't go with anyone since he's so strong but I know he'll let you go since your best friends."

I finally grab onto his wrist and try to pull back with all my strength.

"Whyyyy?"

He groans again as his pillow falls off his face. His eyes are closed as he tries to go back to sleep.

"So we have food and also so Bell doesn't die. I know he can do it but I'd feel less worried with you there."

He opens his eyes as he glares at me with tired eyes.

"I love that your dating and all. But I need sleep and Bell can do everything by himself."

He dramatically brings a free arm up to his forehead.

"Do you need help?"

He sighs before nodding.

I start to pull on his arm again.

Finally once he got out of bed he put on a shirt and followed to the drop ship with a bit of a slump in his posture. I think he was barely awake still. But I don't care because he's not getting out of this.

He can pass out and I'll still put him out there. If I need to make a wagon, I will.

"We're back."

I hear mumbles come from Wells as I reach Bellamy who's now in my chair. Wells sits in a free chair as his eyes are half closed. He's slumping over like a zombie.

"What did he say?"

I put my hands on Bellamy's shoulder as we all look at Wells, who looks as if he's about to fall over.

"Luckily I speak Wells sleepy talk. He said good morning."

They all say ohhh as I give them a sarcastic smile.

"Should I slap him?"

I eye the guys as Wells is starting to tumble to each side like one of those punching bags that once hit the ground, come back up.

"Your could try... but I doubt that'll wake him up."

Monty grudgingly suggests.

I go to stand in front of Wells. His eyes aren't even open anymore.

I pull my arm back, purposely going farther back and with a wave of the air I collide my hand with his cheek.

A bright pink figure stands on his face for a few seconds before it disappears. His chair quickly topples over as he falls backwards onto the floor.

"I'M UP!"

He screams as he throws both hands up in the air, still sitting in the chair.

"Then get up idiot."

I hear Bell trying to keep his laughs in. The snickering from Jasper and Monty is barely hearable.

As he wobbles side to side like a turtle trying to get up, we all can't contain it anymore as the room bursts into laughter. Even from Wells.

\----------

As everyone gets settled, I sit on Bell's lap with my arm over his shoulders.

The room starts to fill with chatter of random stories from the Ark.

"Remember when the Ark tried to recreate pizza?"

Jasper asks as he leans forwards in his chair.

"I remember that they added too much salt and I couldn't get that taste out of my mouth for weeks. Everything tasted like salt."

Monty intervenes.

"I brought a whole ton of that pizza with me so that we could try it while watching movies. As soon as me and Wells took a bite we spit it right out and tried to eat all the junk food we could, but nothing could get it out. We thought we would die."

I comment as Wells laughs.

"I almost licked the floor because it was so bad."

"Actually there is one particular story that comes to mind..."

A smirk forms on my face as I catch eyes with Wells. He glances at me confused but then widens his eyes.

"No Clarke no. Too embarrassing."

He points his finger at me, as if that will stop me.

"Now I want to hear."

Bell jumps up a bit, adjusting my position on his lap to be more comfortable. Wells hits Bell's arm.

"Yea tell tell!"

Jasper and Monty start quietly yelling and I hold a hand out for them to stop.

"Ok."

I quietly start as if I'm about to tell them a horror story.

"So we were in his quarters watching a horror movie..."


	38. Pizza Pizza

** CLARKE **

=======

I push the pizza box into Well's arm asking if he wants some but he doesn't stop staring at the Tv. It's like he's hypnotized by the horror as he holds a fluffy pillow close to his chest.

He's on the edge of his seat, waiting for something to happen in the movie as the woman moves deeper into her house.

I shrug to myself as I put the box back in my lap.

I stare at the pizza as I open the top.

They said they improved it but now I won't know. Well's was my taste tester after that disaster of a pizza last time.

A creak was heard in the dark room we were in, making me feel uneasy. Telling myself it was just the movie, I keep on staring at it. She was now moving into the basement yelling for an answer.

I still felt like something was out there in the darkness. Just waiting to grab us.

Something moved slowly next to me towards Wells and as I looked over it was too late.

The pair of hands grabbed his shoulders, and he started screaming at the top of his lungs before grabbing the pizza from the box in my lap and throwing it behind him with his eyes closed.

"BEGONE MONSTER!"

It all went so fast. I don't know if I was shocked or scared or both.

...But I do know that it wasn't a monster he threw that pizza at.

Wells finally opened his eyes as he saw the person. I shut my mouth, biting it closed as I tried not to laugh.

His dad had pizza sauce all over his face and a pepperoni on his eye. Made him look like a pirate. A pirate that was about to kill his son.

After a long silence...

"Oh hey dad."

========

All the guys start to laugh at the thought of the scene.

I look over at Wells to see him trying not to laugh as he looks away.

"Come on dude, you know it was pretty funny."

He shakes his head, smiling.

"I'm lucky I didn't get floated."

It takes a while before everyone calms down and I look towards Jasper.

"So where is your little girlfriend?"

Jasper catches eyes with me.

"Yeah where is the lucky lady? Or should I say unlucky?"

Monty whispers the last part under his breath which makes Jasper look towards him.

"Says the guy without a girlfriend."

Jasper raises an eyebrow.

"Hey I'm just such a catch that everyone just wants me for my body and face. I have to be more careful than you. You wouldn't know how it is to be beautiful."

Jasper scoffs at Monty's confident reply.

"I suffer too brother."

Wells places a hand on his chest, acting like he's in pain.

"Yeah well anyways. I think she's resting. She finally gets to sleep for once."

He clasps his hands together as he sets them in his lap.

"I get it. If I wasn't a leader and I didn't have to look out for this guy kissing some girl I would also sleep in."

I send a thumb towards Bell behind me as I see him smirk from the corner of my eyes.

"Just means that I can't get another girl while she can't get another guy."

I sigh playfully as I move closer to him by placing my back into his chest and my head on his shoulder.

"You'd be a mess without me. Look how you were before we met."

He leans in, pressing his lips against my head before moving away.

"Get a room you grossies."

I place my head back on Bell's shoulder as I look at Monty.

"Grossies? That's the best you could come up with?"

Jasper looks at Monty with disappointment.

"Have I taught you nothing?"

Monty sighs, rolling his eyes.

"Don't act like someone who should be teaching people anything. You wore goggles because you wanted to look cool. Goggles..."

Monty comes back with.

Jasper glares a bit like he wants to say something but doesn't have a clue what to say.

Suddenly the air shifts when footsteps appear to come into the drop ship.

I look over to see Finn.

"What's up guys?"

I take a quick scan around the room as Finn smiles. Monty and Jasper try to be nice and smile back. Wells looks like he's about to fall asleep, barely paying attention anymore.

And I don't even want to get started on Bell.

But he pulls me tighter around the waist.

"Clarke. Can I talk to you?"

Bell tightens again, making it harder to move as Finn directs his attention to me.

"She doesn't want to talk to you spacewalker."

Bell interrupts the silence as he takes me off his lap and gets up to walk towards Finn.

His back is faced towards me but I can feel his glare.

"You've got quite the protector don't you princess?"

Finn smirks, almost as if to annoy Bell.

I pull on Bell's shirt causing him to fall back down on the chair beside me in shock.

"It's alright Bell. I can take care of myself. Plus he hasn't done anything wrong."

Bell looks at Finn behind me.

"I can see he wants to in his eyes."

I stare him down.

After a few seconds, Bell looks away.

I turn to face Finn.

"Make this quick please. I don't want to be standing here all day."

I gesture him to lead the way.

He does so and as I leave, I feel the guys' eyes on me the whole way out.

This was probably a mistake.

\----------

Soon we're in a part of the woods just outside of camp.

Finn stops and turns to face me, for the first time since we started walking.

** BELLAMY **

As the past lovers move out of the room, I bounce up from my seat.

"And what are you doing?"

Jasper's voice cuts my path and I stop. I'm a few inches from the drop ship exit.

Busted.

I turn around, crossing my arms.

"What do you think I'm doing?"

Jasper sighs, seeming disappointed.

"She said she could protect herself. We both know that's true. Plus if you go, it'll seem like you don't trust her."

It's like he suddenly thought he was a love expert.

"Jasper. They've slept together. He's been eyeing her since she got back. What would you do if it were you and your girlfriend in this situation?"

He looks away, thoughtfully.

"If your going, I'm going."

Wells stands up with confidence, only to shift from standing up too fast.

I'm surprised he was even listening.

"Yeah ok. Why not?"

Monty shrugs, getting up.

Wells pats his shoulder in approval.

"Finally one of you becomes a man."

Wells peeks back at Jasper, who looks up at him with a glare.

"Fine. But if I die from Clarke, none of you get Maya. Got it?"

He stands up finally. Wells tilts his head to the side with an eyebrow raised and a smirk.

"Eh. Maybe. We'll see how things go. I can be very charming."

Jasper darts at him with a death stare which makes Wells laugh out loud.

"Just kidding dude. Come on I'm only into blondes."

This time I stare at him.

He catches my eyes, confused and then pretends to yack.

"Gross. Not that blonde."

Wells pulls Jasper on the side of him and then pushes both of them into me.

"Let's go then."


	39. Stalking?

BELLAMY

We start following them through the woods and they stop at a clearing in the middle of the trees. I kneel down by a bush and the rest of my entourage follows suit.

“Isn’t this called stalking?”

Monty disrupts as I stare at Clarke and Finn talking a safe distance apart.

“Technically it’s stalking for good. Now shhh…”

I whisper, not moving my eyes from their bodies for even a second.

“That totally makes sense…” 

Wells remarks sarcastically and I crouch down lower to avoid being caught. It’s bound to happen with these loud people near me.

Spacewalker better not try anything if he knows what’s good for him.

CLARKE

“Things have really been tense between us ever since that night and I just thought we should talk.”

I nod.

“That’s actually a really good idea. I think we need to set ground rules. Like no staring.”

He smiles nervously, rubbing his neck.

“You noticed? I’m sorry. I just. I thought I could get over you and once I got in a relationship with Raven I thought everything would be fine. But… it’s not.”

“Honestly it’s fine. I get it. But you need to realize that I’m with Bellamy. And even if I wasn’t-”

“...You’d still be in love with him.”

“I’m sorry.”

He catches my eyes again as he tries to actually smile.

“No. This is good. If I know there’s no chance straight on. I think I’ll be able to move on now. Thanks.”

I give him a smile.

“And for the record. I really do care about you as a friend. And I hope we can continue as just friends.”

“Me too.”

BELLAMY

I guess I was just overreacting. 

They talked. Just talked. And no one died.

I say it’s a good talk then.

She pats his shoulder and gives him a bright smile before they both begin to leave back to camp.

“And that’s why everyone should listen to me. Jasper the knowing.”


	40. An Unexpected Proposal

** CLARKE **

"Hey Bell."

A smile comes across my lips as I walk towards him.

"Hey Princess. Where do you think your going?"

His eyes glance down at my bag which I have stocked with the bare essentials of food and some water.

"I was about to tell you that I was going for a walk."

"That's never a good thing when your alone."

I roll my eyes.

"Hey. I could have just left. Instead I came to tell you so that you wouldn't lose your mind with me gone."

He playfully smirks giving me an eye roll back.

But then he turns serious again like in a blink of an eye.

Oh no. Here comes the lecture.

"Clarke. The Grounders could still be right out there waiting for us. What if you got hurt?"

I can see that he's clearly worried.

"I know Bell. But I've got my knife and I've been training with Octavia here and there."

He looks away thoughtfully.

At least he's considering it. We might have made progress yet.

"I'd just be so lost without you."

I smile at the teasing remark.

"Shut up. Come on Bell. I need air."

As he starts to comeback with a clever remark I continue.

"Out of camp."

He sighs defeated knowing we've been stuck in here for weeks fearing the worst of what's out there.

"Fine. Fine. But at least bring someone with you. I'm busy right now. Do that much for me."

He pleads with his eyes, trying to be tough in front of Jaha who's close by.

"Ok. I'll do that much. Thank you my rebel prince."

I turn around to leave but once I'm a few seconds away and he's already started talking to Jaha again, I run back.

I pull his collar down, pressing my lips to his.

He smiles against my lips.

I move back slightly, not letting go of his leather jacket just yet.

"I love you."

He smirks.

"I love you too, Princess."

I peck him on the lips once more before I finally leave him to his business.

\---------

Walking into Wells' tent I widen my eyes in confusion once I see he's not in his bed.

Then I look down to see his face down on the ground.

"Wells? You good?"

I crouch down next to his still body.

Pushing his body a bit, he nods into the ground roughly.

"You want to go on a walk with me?"

He groans, obviously comfortable where he is.

"Fine..."

He sounds so excited.

He never sleeps in this late. Something's off.

"What's wrong?"

With another groan, he flips himself onto his back so he can see me.

"I've been on hunting duty at night and it takes so long to find something. I'm sooo tired."

He rubs his eyes.

"Well maybe you should get better at catching things."

He glares at me before throwing his arm over his eyes.

"That's so hard though."

"How about... I make a case for your shifts to switch to the afternoon. Would that make you more energetic?"

"YES YES PLEASE!"

He sprints up into a begging stand on his knees and his hands together which causes me to jump up to my feet.

"You have to come with me though."

I set my terms and he stares at me for a second before getting up.

"WHERE IS MY JACKET?!"

He looks under his bed in a freaky frenzy.

I immediately eye the black jacket on his chair behind him.

"Not that I don't love you getting down and dirty, which I don't, but your jacket is on your chair."

He rushingly pulls his head up, causing it to hit under his bed.

All I can do is watch and wince for him. He soon cradles his head in his hands.

It takes him a few seconds to stop swearing.

"Do we need to go to the medic tent?"

He waves his hand.

"No. No. I need to stay far away from there."

"Why? Isn't Murphy there?"

He stands up as straight as he can and grabs his coat.

"I'll tell you on the way. Let's go."

\--------

The doors have opened for us and I look out at the trees.

Such a great reminder that we live in the real world.

I take a second to fully feel the earth.

And then I look over to Wells.

"So about Murphy..."

He sighs.

"Well-"

"Clarke!"

I turn around to see Jasper running up to me with Monty walking tiredly behind him.

"Saved by the yell."

Wells sighs cooly.

"What's up guys?"

I smile towards them.

"Looks like your going on a walk. Can we come with?"

Jasper peeks back at Monty who finally smiles as if he knows something I don't.

"Sure. The more the merrier."

I suspiciously remark as I can tell something is going on.

I eye Wells.

Too many secrets.

"Can we just go already?"

Wells groans and I raise an eyebrow at him as he walks in front.

I take one more glance at the suspenseful duo before following Wells.

\---------

"Can you believe I didn't kill him for that?"

Jasper asks as he looks at Monty who gives him a guilty smile.

"Hey it's not like you were eating it."

Jasper stops as he squints at Monty in disbelief.

"I was about to when you suddenly took it."

I hear Wells snort to himself.

"You know how much I love chocolate!"

Monty yells in defense and we all start laughing at the outburst.

It takes a few seconds before we calm down.

"Has it already been thirty minutes?"

Wells takes a peek at his watch. Something his dad must have given him when he came back down. I can see that their getting along again.

I'm glad.

I stop as I see a building.

"I guess it has been."

I stare at the reinforced steel structure in front of us. The one we barely escaped with our lives just a few weeks ago.

"Wow..."

Monty has guilt in his tone and I can see Jasper not being able to even look at Mount Weather.

"Guys. I know this is a really bad memory. But we've been walking for so long and... we know there's food in there we didn't gather."

Wells announces and I take a deep breath.

I think I'll be fine.

"I'm good if your good."

Monty turns back to Jasper and Jasper looks down at the ground. He finally pulls a small smile to his lips.

"Ok. Me and Bell definitely couldn't carry everything. Let's just hope the Grounders didn't ransack it."

I nod in his direction.

"The past is the past as they say."

Wells takes the first step towards the small looking structure. With a hidden and bigger story on the inside.

I follow behind him and soon we're walking through the doors that don't take much effort to move on through.

Footsteps echo through the space as we walk down the downwards slope of cement flooring, down to the next floor.

I stop for a moment halfway through as I see bones scattered around the floor like someone kicked them.

I start to hear the screams I have tried so hard to forget.

"Clarke?"

"Hm?"

I snap out of it, looking towards Wells who has put a hand on my shoulder.

He looks at me knowingly and I nod.

"I'm ok."

"Tell me if your not."

He rubs my shoulder before moving forward.

"Does this seem creepy to anyone else?"

I look back to Monty who's hiding behind a Jasper staring off into space.

"It's like someone's been here lately."

I make a guess as I keep walking towards the elevator.

I cautiously look around before pressing the elevator button.

It creepily squeaks as the noise gets louder and louder. Until the elevator dings and the doors open with a shift.

"Yeah tell that to the scaredy pants."

Wells announces.

"Hey I am not scared. Just... extra cautious."

Monty retorts.

"I'm sure it was just Grounders. But I doubt they took everything."

I reassure.

I take one more peek back at the others before walking inside, the small group following close by.

I sense the anxiety in the air as we travel down to the last floor.

Dwelling further down into the beast.

\-------

Finally, after what feels like forever, we make it to our destination and rush out of the elevator as if it's going to eat us.

"Let me just say. I am truly scared of those enclosed death traps now."

After silence the whole ride down, Monty interrupts the emptiness.

"I don't know how the human race could handle those things every single day. I can barely handle it once."

He continues as he follows.

As we inch towards the kitchen, I feel a hand on my shoulder.

I turn my head to see Jasper with a smile on his face.

"Can I talk to you Clarke? Alone?"

He looks around to Wells and Monty before stopping on me again. I see Monty flash him a grin.

"Your going to tell her?"

Monty mouths and Jasper nods with energy.

"...Sure."

I say in almost a whisper.

I'm very confused right now.

"Good luck!"

I can almost hear the support from Monty's mouthing as he gives both thumbs up to Jasper.

"You two go start raiding the food supply."

I make one last order to Monty and Wells. With a nod from both of them, I follow Jasper into a nearby room.

I glance around, seeing cobwebs start to form over the couches of the lounge looking room.

"Jasper you and Monty have been acting-"

I turn towards him and stop in my tracks with wide eyes.

I see Jasper hold up a band of gold with a blueberry sized white diamond on the top of the band.

A wedding ring.


	41. Facing Danger

**CLARKE**

I can't speak as I just stare at the ring.

I take a step back, almost tripping.

"Jasper your a great friend-"

"No no Clarke don't take this the wrong way."

I finally feel more strength to speak.

"How am I not supposed to take this the wrong way Jasper?"

I gesture towards the ring he's holding out.

"Clarke it's for Maya!"

He yells out half-laughing.

"What?"

I ask in surprise as he puts the ring back into his pocket.

"I want to propose to Maya."

He clears up and I put my hand on my heart.

"Oh my god. Thank god."

I whisper under my breath of relief.

"Not that I wouldn't be flattered, but with our respective partners and the fact that I only think of you as a brother..."

"That's exactly why I wanted to tell you."

"But don't you think it's a bit too soon?"

I feel the awkwardness in the air dissipate.

"Maybe... but I can't wait another day to propose. I just can't. With everything going on we might never have another chance like this."

I see the eagerness in his face and voice. I can't help but smile.

"You really love her don't you?"

He looks down as a smile grows on his face.

"Then go for it. Loving someone as much as you love her only comes once in a lifetime."

I don't have time to react as a pair of arms wrap around me.

"I wanted your approval because your like a sister to me. I knew you'd understand."

I feel my chest start to grow warm as I reach my arms around him.

\------

Once we finish our hug, we exit the room and see Monty and Wells with bag fulls of food and supplies on their backs. They smile at us like they were waiting.

"What were you guys doing?"

Wells asks once he sees us and Monty looks like he's about to burst with happiness.

Jasper rolls his eyes playfully as he gestures for Monty to go on.

"JASPER'S GOING TO PROPOSE TO MAYA!"

Monty yells out with no filter and me and Jasper chuckle.

Wells stares at Monty with wide eyes and a slightly open mouth.

His eyes move to Jasper and he lets out a cheery laugh.

"Congrats dude."

He moves towards Jasper and they quickly pat each other on the back before moving away full of smiles.

"I just love love..."

Monty quietly mumbles to himself but everyone hears as we look at him dozing off.

"You can't even find love yourself my boy."

Wells pats Monty on the back, making him snap out of his daze.

"Why does everyone keep pointing that out?"

He asks himself as he turns to go to the elevator.

He stops midway, turning back to us.

"Who wants to go first?"

He flashes a forced awkward smile and we all exchange looks before Wells sighs in disappointment.

"How is it that I'm the only one willing to go? Clarke is usually so smart and logical."

He mumbles as he walks into the open elevator.

"That's exactly why I wasn't the first to go. I'm logical because I make other people go first."

We follow him in.

Once the doors close the silence returns.

"Not to make matters worse but... not all Mountain Men are dead."

Wells brings up what we're all afraid of in this moment.

The boogey men.

Tension fills the air.

"What if they come back here? Their home?

I keep staring forward.

I feel chills start on my arms and neck as if something terribles about to happen.

"We were teenagers when we got captured. Now we're survivors. We'll be able to defeat them.

Monty, who none of us thought would be able to be confident in this kind of situation, tried to reassure us.

"I mean... right?"

I feel his eyes searching for some backing anywhere as his voice starts to dwindle.

Before any of us could answer, not that we would be able to, the elevator doors promptly open as we reach floor one.

I begin to take a step out, halting once I hear footsteps closing in towards us.

I make direct eye contact with each of the guys before dropping onto my knees, crawling slowly and carefully towards a nearby room. Hearing nothing behind me I keep on going anyways as I know their behind me.

I back up against the wall of the room as the voices on the other side begin to rise.

"You think they deserve our pity? They killed our whole facility!"

One of the voices yells out harshly, making a perfect amount of noise for the rest of my group to rush towards the wall I'm at.

"What do we do?"

Monty clenches his jaw as he closes his eyes, breathing heavily from the stress he must be feeling.

"We make it out of here."

I whisper with confidence, even though I don't have quite a clear plan yet.

"Monty I need you to calm down. You're gonna make it out of here. All of us are. There's two of them and four of us."

Monty nods as quickly as he can before taking a deep breath. He opens his eyes to give me a smile of comfort even though he obviously needs the comfort more.

"Ok we're gonna need to make a run for it once they go into the elevator. If it goes sideways and they go into a room instead, we don't stop."

I give them direct orders, looking over to see Monty and Wells the only ones nodding.

Jasper looks down beside me as fear envelopes his face in a pale exterior.

"Jasper. You ok?"

He doesn't react to my voice.

"Jasper!"

I whisper yell, shaking his shoulder to get his attention.

He finally whips his head up in shock.

"Yes...yes I've got it. Sorry."

I can still see he's not fully himself.

I catch eyes with Monty, knowing he's the only one who can get through to Jasper.

Our relationship no matter how close is nothing compared to theirs.

Monty gets the hint and grabs onto Jasper's hand which I hadn't known has been shaking in his lap.

"Jasper."

Jasper doesn't react again as he keeps staring forward into oblivion.

Monty swallows his anxiety before placing his free hand on Jasper's cheek.

"Jasper..."

Monty whispers in a cracked voice, making Jasper finally turn his eyes to his best friend in worry.

"I'm scared too. I might not have as much going on in my life as you do, but I'm still terrified to my bones."

Monty stops for a second, looking down at the white marble ground. He takes in a deep breath.

"You still have to get married and you can't do that if your dead. So please get it together for at least a few more minutes."

Monty glances up at Jasper's eyes as they rush to meet Monty's.

"I won't let anything bad happen to you. Your my brother. I couldn't."

Jasper's eyes start to glisten.

"I'd die for you."

"That's part of the reason why I'm so scared."

Jasper tightens his hold on Monty's hand.

"I can't lose you. I can't lose any of you."

He catches eyes with us.

"You won't. We're all in this together and we'll get out of this together."

Wells states as he smiles.

"These guys will regret messing with us if they try to kill us."

Wells motivates us even more.

"Ok... Let's get this over with then."

Jasper nods, the color of his face slightly returned.

"Time to blow this joint once and for all."

I whisper to myself before counting to 3 with my fingers.

Once my finger reaches three, I rush towards the hallways the guys were walking through and don't take a look back as our footsteps clack against the floor.

I let the guys pass me on purpose.

Suddenly the floor sweeps from under me.

As I fall to the ground, I see an on alert Mountain Man behind me.

In a panic, I peek back at my foot to see it stuck in a looped rope that's attached to something behind one of the walls.

A trap.

"CLARKE!"


	42. Poked

**CLARKE**

I hear Wells yell after me and as the Mountain Man starts walking up to me with an evil grin on his face, I look up to Wells coming back to me.

Jasper and Monty stare by the door in horror, not knowing what to do.

"WELLS GO NOW!"

I angrily warn, making him stop in his tracks halfway towards me.

"We don't leave each other behind!"  
He starts to become angry with determination.

I tug on the rope, but it's no use as it's too strong.

The Mountain Man finally reaches me and grips onto my wrist, pulling me up so I can't try to escape.

"We also don't put our group in danger. GO!"

He tries to come closer.

"TELL BELLAMY! GET HELP! AND TAKE CARE OF THEM IF SOMETHING HAPPEN TO ME. I WON'T SAY IT AGAIN! GO!"

The elevator opens and about five more Mountain Men enter the hallway with guns, ready to fire.

I can see Wells breathing heavily, confused and torn.

"Please Wells!"

I yell out in anguish, making him snap out of it.

I tug against the man behind me, making him pull me into him tighter.

"I can't lose you guys!"

I feel tears prick at my eyes as I plead him to go. He nods once with pain layer all over his face.

"We'll come back! I promise!"

His voice deepens with authority as he runs towards Monty and Jasper.

I feel the man behind me, wrapping my wrists with something to keep them contained.

I watch as the Mountain Men start to shoot at my friends but they make it out just in time.

Before I can yell anything else, a piece of cloth is wrapped around my head to keep me from speaking.

They start to run towards the doors.

"Lower your weapons."

The man from behind me orders to the other five men. I widen my eyes in confusion.

"What?"

One of the guys step forwards.

"They were the reason our people died and you want us-"

A shot rings out and I can't look away as the bullet pierces through the guys skull.

Blood splatters everywhere.

As his body drops, the guys behind me begins to speak again.

He just killed one of his people.

"They had nothing to do with it. Only this one did."

He pulls me up to stand straighter.

"Anyone else want to question me?"

None of the other guys speak up as they lower their guns and try to avoid looking at their former colleague.

What is he going to do with me?

Kill me?

"Now it's time to have some fun."

** JASPER **

Heavily breathing, I stop behind a tree with Monty and Wells beside me.

"What do we do?... What can we do?"

I widen my eyes in terror as I stare down at the ground.

"W-we have to tell the camp. We have to tell Bellamy."

My eyes move up to Wells, not changing.

"WE just lost his girlfriend... TO THE MOUNTAIN MEN! What do you think he'll do to us if he finds out?"

I comb both my hands through my hair as I could just start tearing it out and I wouldn't care.

"Jasper Clarke told us to tell him. Plus he'll know we wouldn't have done it if we didn't have to. But if we just keep freaking out and don't go tell hi then we might not get to Clarke in time."

I can see that Wells is just as freaked out as me, maybe more, but staying surprisingly calm.

"Fine. Your right. Clarke wanted us to."

I try to compose myself even though my brain is on overdrive.

\-------

After telling Bellamy what happened, he doesn't hesitate before smashing his fist into one of the drop ship walls.

I close my eyes for a split second, imagining myself as that wall pretty soon.

Dented.

"I'm so sorry Bell. She wouldn't let us stay and the Mountain Men were gonna shoot us and-"

I can hear myself rambling but I can't stop.

If I keep talking maybe he won't punch me.

Bellamy turns to me wiping the outside of his bloody hand on his pants.

"Jasper. Jasper stop."

He holds out his hands telling me to halt and my voice turns to inaudible noises.

"It's not your fault. If you didn't get here you would have never been able to tell me. So thank you."

I stare into Bellamy's shining eyes and I feel a sense of calm wash over me.

He's not gonna punch me.

"Now we just have to go to Mount Weather and reason our way out of this."

"Do you think that will work? They were about to shoot us if we didn't get out in time. I don't think we can reason."

Wells tries to explain.

"Clarke would be beyond angry at me if I didn't try. If there's a chance we could do this with no one dying then we have to try."

We all look at each other as the room turns silent.

** CLARKE **

I jiggle the metal chair that I'm tied to.

Looking around, I see the same white room I have nightmares about.

Nothing's changed.

The walls are still so white they could envelope around you and no one would be able to find you.

The bed is the only thing in the spacious room as if you could lay on it and just die.

Nothing else would matter because there is nothing else.

This is what emptiness feels like.

"Hello there."

I stare in shock as a figure comes out from the corner.

Cage?

"But your supposed to be dead."

He shrugs.

"That's what I keep hearing. But no. Just got this from your Grounder buddy."

He holds up his arm and I see a stump where his hand is supposed to be.

"The Grounder have really gone soft."

He puts his handless wrist down as he looks off towards a wall away from me.

"...But don't worry I'm not mad at you anymore for what happened."

A smile, almost creepy like, slides onto his face as he takes a step towards me.

That's when I notice something in his hand. A hand that hasn't been chopped off.

He holds out his hand to show me a shiny platter full of colorful fruit and dark brown meat. He sets it on the table next to the bed.

"Breakfast is served. At least I think it's morning. I haven't been out in quite a bit."

His motions are almost stiff like as he stays still with a smile.

"What are you playing at? Last meal before you kill me?"

His smile fades.

He slides his fingers against a smudge on the platter and stares at the metal.

"I could do that... but then that wouldn't be very fun would it?"

My eyes search for some emotion on his face so that I can determine his next move.

...but I see nothing.

"I have something very much planned."

He finally looks up, smile back on his face but still no sign of any emotion.

Of course.

Everything here is planned.

Red.

I see something in the corner of my eye, jumping up as I see it mist towards me.

No. No.

But nothing can stop it.

\--------

I groan, bringing my hand up to my hea-

Wait...

My eyes fling open as my wrists are still tied up in the leather restraints from the white room.

Except this time I'm not in a chair.

I'm on some metal table with something pulling my head down to the coldness of the metal.

I can see metal tables around the room surrounding me. There are vials of random colors sitting in stands across the tables but what really catches my eyes are the various needles above me.

Tools like medical equipment lay on a small round metal plane beside me.

I twist and turn my body, trying to escape my prison bands.

"Don't move. It will just make the feeling worse."

One of the needles moves closer. Just close enough to the side of my neck for me to sense the sharp edge.

"What is this? Why can't you just let me go?"

I try to persuade.

"So you can just come back and kill us all over again. No. I'm good."

"We won't do anything if you just let me go safe and sound to my group. We'll leave you alone."

"You know I want to believe you but then there would be no more fun in it."

He chuckles slightly.

It sends chills down my spine.

"When you were acting strange before you escaped. We started making a serum that would make you more... persuasive to join our group."

I heard the sound of buttons behind me.

"We started testing it on the bone marrow victims and of course there was failure. But then one day it worked. The day you got out. And we thought it would be over. That you would leave us alone and we could keep going as we were. Our leader was an idiot."

More needles come shooting towards me.

"They will not only do what we want. But they will also hurt as hell as a bonus. I had to make it stronger just in case."

The needle closest to me shoots into my neck.

I scream out in agony.

I can feel the pressure of something being administered into my blood stream.

Every molecule in my body pulses with pain. A cold sense of pain. Like it's being iced out.

Everything in my body is freezing.

"One should do the trick. But where's the good in that?"

This time I see the next needle speed up and crash into my chest.

"The funny thing is the last time I pushed this much of the serum into a human. It killed them within seconds. So there's a fifty fifty chance you won't make it. Oh well."

I can barely breathe as the serum pushes into my chest.

I can't speak.

I can't scream.

I can barely think.

I'm just a statue feeling everything given to me.

"If you make it out of here alive. I'll call us even."

The lights in the room begin to spin around my head and blur together.

"That is... if you remember."

My breathing slows to a halt.

I close my eyes.

They feel like weights and I just want to go to sleep.

"Goodbye Clarke."


	43. Lost and Forgotten

** BELLAMY **

I won't let them do anything to Clarke.

I have to go now and no one will stop me.

I don't care if the Mountain Men shoot me on sight, I just want to see her again.

I don't even care if I die, I just need to see her... once.

I had to leave before Wells, Jasper, and Monty could try to stop me. I knew they would. But I can't let them get hurt. I couldn't let them come with me.

In the darkness, I see the building and start for the door.

"Stop."

I ignore the voice on the intercom.

"Stop. Or we shoot. And she dies."

I stop.

"Let her go."

"I'm afraid that's not possible. She killed our entire people. That can't be undone."

"But I did it too. Take me."

I'm yelling at a building.

When did I sink so low.

"No. But if your going to be so stubborn. How about we let her choose."

"Yes! Yes let's do that. If she chooses our group then we leave you alone and you do the same."

"Sounds like a plan. One second. I'll send her out."

I can almost hear his smile in the electronic.

"Oh. And good luck."

I squint my eyes, confused.

There's no doubt she'll choose me.

Our group.

Us.

The doors shoot open and I see a familiar face slowly walk out. But she's in one of their suits.

She looks around at the Earth around me before stopping on my face.

That's when she gives me a look I won't forget.

Like she didn't know me.

She looks scared.

"Clarke."

I start for her, but she takes a step back.

"Why are you wearing that? You can breathe the air."

She shakes her head.

"No. Are you crazy? It will kill me."

What?

"Who are you? Why did you want me?"

"Clarke. It's me. Bellamy."

She narrows her eyebrows in confusion.

"Bellamy? I don't know a Bellamy."

I stare wide eyed.

Something's very wrong.

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER?!"

I yell towards the intercom above the door.

"Cage. CAGE!"

She screams out, trying to open the door.

She's scared of me.

Cage?

How could she-?

"So. Clarke. Do you choose to stay with us or go with Bellamy."

"Stay. I choose to stay."

The door opens and she runs inside, closing the door behind her.

I stare, confused.

"Sorry Bellamy. She's made her choice."

"Cage. What did you do?"

I ask warningly.

"I made her a little more at home. You can leave now."

"Cage."

He doesn't answer.

"CAGE!"

I yell louder as I begin to pound on the door.

I can't lose her.

I slow down my pounding and turn my back to the door before sliding down.

I don't know what to do.

What do I do?

** CLARKE **

Who was that guy?

Why did he seem like he knew me?

I walk down towards the elevator when Cage comes out of nowhere and steps in front of me.

"Your probably wondering who that was."

"Yeah. Actually I am."

He smiles.

"We can't have that problem."

With a swift motion of his hand, he sends something flying towards me.

Before I can even move, a sting is sent throughout my body.

Everything starts to blur and my body quickly falls to the ground.

** BELLAMY **

I woke up pretty soon.

I keep sitting on the white bed, waiting for something to happen.

I should have known they would swarm me if I broke in.

I just have to get to her and snap her out of whatever spell she's been put under.

With Cage involved, it's nothing good.

I click breaks the silence and I raise my head up to the door.

I wait to pounce on whoever comes through.

My fingernails dig into the rough blankets, almost ripping tiny holes in them.

I don't have time to jump up as surprise fills my body.

I see him.

I actually see him.

He's really alive.

"I know. I know. Your all shocked I'm alive when I'm supposed to alive. Turns out the death was just a myth."

He looks away for a quick second, smiling.

He has the audacity to act like this is a joke?

I can't control my body as it moved up in a flash.

The next thing I know I'm leaning over him as he's pushed up against the wall with only my arm in between us.

"Woah woah calm down big boy."

A smirk glides across half of his mouth.

"We wouldn't want Clarke to get hurt because of something stupid you did. Now would we?"

I stare him in his evil eyes, before turning away quickly.

I want to punch his lights but I restrain myself as I turn to face him again.

"What did you do to her?"

I yell at him but he keeps his composure. Like he has something up his sleeve.

"She's fine. For now. But the Clarke you know is gone forever."

I furrow my eyebrows in confusion.

"What are you talking about?"

"I erased her memory. It was a hard serum to conduct but... "

He smiles wides.

"Now she won't remember any of you."

His voice has a click of happiness in it and that just makes me feel like punching him even more.

I know he's not lying. I saw it with my own eyes.

"So what? I'll make her remember. I will never let her stay in a place like this with you."

My eyes turn into a glare.

He starts laughing which throws me off a bit.

I take a step back unconsciously.

"You think I'd be stupid enough to let her come in contact with you? She'll always be with me or in her room."

He walks towards the door again and opens it halfway.

"You'll never see her again."

A grin comes across his face as he goes to leave.

"NO!"

I run towards the door but end up hitting my side into the hard surface.

I grab onto the handle of the door and start jiggling it, hoping it'll budge somehow.

But no luck.

Never see her again?

He can't be serious.

I slide my body down the door, feeling more helpless than I ever have before.

What am I going to do Clarke?

** CLARKE **

I open my eyes, shaking my head to get rid of the giant migraine in my head.

I throw my legs over the side of the bed as I bring my hand up to my head.

Rubbing my forehead, I look up a bit and jump backwards as I see a dark haired guy sitting in a chair in front of me.

My arms hold my body up on the bed behind me as I look around wide eyed.

Why am I in a white room?

Is this a hospital?

I look back to the guy as he stares at me intently as if he's studying me.

His eyes don't seem kind but I could be overthinking it.

"H-hello sir?"

I stutter as I move forward towards him.

"Where am I? Who are you?"

I gesture towards him and he finally breaks the stare and crosses his legs.

He sits in a thoughtful pose.

His eyes drop on mine again.

"Who are you?"

He asks with all seriousness but it seems like the stupidest question.

"I'm-"

I stop for a second."

"My name is..."

I feel my face scrunch up in confusion as my head starts to feel fuzzy.

"Who am I?"

I whisper to myself, trying to wrack my brain.

I quickly dart my eyes up to him again.

"What's going on? Why don't I know my name? Why don't I know anything?!"

A sudden feeling of panic falls over my body as I yell out towards the stranger.

He stands up, taking a step towards me as he puts a hand on my shoulder.

I look up at him in wonder.

"Your name is Clarke Griffin. You work at this facility named Mount Weather but you were injured and lost your memory. I am Cage. I will help you."

He finally smiles and I still feel a bit uneasy but knowing a bit more about myself, I nod.

"There's some clothes for you. Meet me outside when you are ready."

He doesn't wait for an answer as he walks over towards a guard looking person in the corner.

I glance towards the clothes beside me on the edge of the bed.

Taking the first piece of clothing I see a white blank t-shirt. I pick up the second piece and hold it up as the legs fall down. I stare at the blackness of the pants as their almost consuming.

"She can't have any contact with them."

I hear Cage whisper, as I pretend to get ready.

I slide my hand through the rim of the pants, feelings the insides are as rough as the outsides.

"It could ruin the who-"

I see him step towards the guard as to keep his voice low.

"Don't worry. I will not give any of them the chance. Especially Bellamy."

I hear the anger in his voice as he says the name.

Bellamy?

It sounds familiar.

I set down the pants on my thighs as I sit down. Picking up the shirt to start fake inspecting it, I realize I'm being an idiot.

They gave me a place. Why am I listening in on their conversation?

Bellamy Blake.

What?

Who's that?


	44. Rude Awakening

**CAGE**  
With the gruesomely dressed guards behind me in all black, i step into Bellamy's room.

He's curled up under the white rough looking blanket with one of his feet poking out for air.

He doesn't move an inch as I walk closer to him.

I push the sleeping Bellamy's arm, making him open his eyes in shock.

"What are you doing here?"

He jumps up and glares at me with wariness.

Staring at him with intensity, I don't say a word as I gesture out towards my protectors.

They don't hesitate before charging towards him.

Bellamy, half awake, tries to push them off with a shrug as they grab onto his shoulders. The guards hold onto him tighter. I can see the meat on his bone being pushed in.

"It's better not to struggle."

I stand straight, moving my hands...or should I say hand... behind me.

"What do you think your doing? Haven't you done enough?!"

As the guards pick him up, the spit from his yells flies towards me.

I don't flinch.

Nothing will ever be enough.

Not for my people.

** CLARKE **

I stare outside the window out towards a battlefield. I keep my feet on the edge of a metal looking building.

No...

It's too small to be a building.

More like a ship.

Dirty looking civilians clash with even dirtier and more gruesome warriors who have paint under their eyes and across their faces in black.

No one is backing down but more and more of the civilians run behind me.

Who are these people?

Where am I?

I turn around towards the inside of the ship like structure. People run around in a frenzy, some running to safety and others running for supplies to help out the injured who are goraning in fabric beds stood up poorly by tree branches.

I twit back around, my eyes landing on a single brown haired guy who's now the only one fighting the savages. He ducks and turns with grace as he single handedly fights off each of the giants whose only goal is to kill him with their sharpened wooden sticks.

Once he catches eyes with me, I feel a sense of dread.

I have no idea who he is but for some reason he feels familiar.

"CLOSE THE DROPSHIP!"

He yells out towards me but his eyes are fixated on somewhere else. Turning my head, I see a brown haired lady nodding as she goes to pull down a rusted lever on a table next to her.

"No..."

I feel myself whispering.

My heart starts to race.

I whip my head towards the fighting once again, a shadow looming over the entrance.

"NO YOU HAVE TO GET INSIDE!"

His eyes tell me he's already given up as they soften.

He picks up a stick inside the ground with a groan before fending off one of the killers who is also holding a thick stick but with spikes embedded inside the bark.

I watch in horror as he falls to the ground.

The giant door blocks the entrance, making the tiny dusted window inside the middle of the thick metal the only way to see outside. I rush up to look outside and one of the shredded dressed killers goes to swing into the guys head.

A sudden glaze falls over the window.

I go to wipe it off to see if he's survived but nothing becomes clear.

I wipe harder and there's still a steam covering the glass.

I can only guess that...

He's dead.

I shouldn't care this much.

I didn't even know him.

A drop fills the silence.

Another drop.

I let my head fall and see tiny water looking circles on the dirty ground of the ship. I feel something slide down my cheek and go to touch underneath the eye only to see a glossy substance on my finger.

The drops continue and start to become faster making my mind rush with confusion.

Why am I crying?

An image flashes into my mind.

The brown haired stranger with a stick smashed into his head, eyes staring at me as brain pieces slide down his face. Blood everywhere like an explosion occurred.

My breathing quickens as I clasp both my hands onto each side of my head, trying to get the images to stop developing.

Another image...

Another...

NO!

"BELLAMY!"

My body flies up in a flash, my hands holding me up from the bed.

I take a few deep breaths and glance around to see I'm still in the white room I fell asleep in.

Sweat drips down my forehead and onto my cheek.

Bellamy?

That name again.

That dream.

I saw his face and heard his words but now all I see is a blur in the place of his face and a distorted tone in his voice.

Am I going crazy?

I wipe my sleeve across my forehead, smearing off the sweat that's still sliding down my face.

Moving my feet over the edge of the bed, I hold onto the metal lining of the mattress as I adjust my body to being moved after so long.

I look up at the empty room

A sigh escapes my lips as I let my head fall.

Why do I feel so empty?

Just then the door clicks open.

I turn my head up and force a smile as Cage walks in with a skip in his step.

"Your boyfriend is back."

He almost sings.

I let out a tiny forced laugh.

He walks up to me, leaning down to plant a small peck on my cheek.

He explained to me that we were together for two years and were happy until the accident.

I want to believe him after all he has done for me... I just...

It might take time to get used to.

"How was your rest?"

Cheery whistles escape his breath as he speaks.

I rub my eyes, shrugging.

"Good I guess. Just these beds their-"

I pat the bed, nothing bouncing back up.

A scream interrupts, almost making me jump.

My eyes dart to the wall as the yells are coming from the other side.

"Yeah? The bed?"

He stares at me as if he heard nothing just now.

As if I was imagining them.

"Did you... not hear that?"

I decide to bring it up as curiosity gets the best of me. I feel like I need to get to the bottom of it.

"Oh that?"

He points back at the wall with his thumb.

I nod, not taking my eyes off of him.

"That's nothing. Another guy must have injured himself on the job."

His exterior is so calm, I could never guess he had any feelings except happiness.

"What kind of stuff do you do here anyways?"

I can hear the suspicious tone in my voice.

"Just... fix up the place I guess for now."

He suddenly looks away.

"I should go check up on them."

His voice begins to sound rushed.

Heading for the door, he flashes me a smile before disappearing outside.

No click.

I push myself off the bed and slowly walk over to the door, placing my hand on the handle once I reach it.

Please be open...

What would I even do if it were open?

I hesitate, not knowing what to do, but then in a rush of adrenaline and the wish of getting out of this room I pull down the handle.

It stops midway and I feel my heart start to quicken as I keep on trying to rattle it.

How could he have locked it?

Slumping over, I look down at my hands to see their cherry red.

I sigh as I walk up to one of the white walls, placing my back against it.

Sliding down, I knock my head against the wall and bring my legs up to my chest once my bottom hits the floor.

I'm never getting out of here... am I?

"Clarke!"

I hear a quisper yell from the other side of the wall.

That voice...

I think it's the guy from my dreams.

But that's impossible.

Isn't it?

How would he even know my name?


	45. Leaders Intercepted

**CLARKE**

I jump on the bed, my back hitting the mattress with a thump.

Ah… bad idea.

As I stretch out my arms, I look towards the door. Cage came in to say goodnight but he kept telling me how I should hate these people called the hundred. I could tell he heated them and for good reason since they killed our people.

His people. No our people.

He told me how I couldn’t go outside or I would burn up from the radiation but what's the use of living if I can’t go out and see the world?

I close my eyes.

I have the dream about the guy again. The moppy haired mess of a guy. I see his glistening brown eyes staring into mine…

....But then I wake up and remember nothing of what I saw.

**WELLS**

“Monty!”

He stops in his tracks, almost dropping the small logs of wood he’s holding.

He stumbles to find his balance before turning to me.

“What’s wrong? What am I doing wrong?”

His eyes glance down at the wood in a panic, still his worried self.

“No. No. Just by chance have you seen Clarke and Bellamy? Maybe on your way back?”

He’s my last hope.

I haven’t seen them for days.

“Their still not back?”

I can see the confusion and blankness in his eyes and I can tell he knows nothing.  A sigh escapes my lips, almost making me slump over in defeat.

“I’m gonna say something your not gonna like.”

I straighten up, making him stare at me with intensity.

“We have to go back to Mount Weather.”

His eyes glance down to the ground as his adam's apple moves up and down in a gulp.  I can see the fright in his face but he still looks up in determination.

“Then let’s go.”

I’m a bit taken aback as he puts up a front with a strong voice.

“Are you sure Monty? This will definitely be dangerous if we get caught.”

It seems like I’m trying to scare him but I’m just telling the truth.

“Their in there because of us Wells. We need to save them. Their our friends.”

I nod, a small smile creeping up on my face. He’s grown a lot.

“Our family you mean.”

My smile grows higher as Jasper comes up behind Monty and grasps him on the shoulder.

They’ve both grown a lot.

One of Monty’s logs fall to the ground from the movement Jasper made.

We all stare down at it sitting on the dirt floor.

“You did not just…”

Jasper takes a step back as Monty is about to explode.

All the logs fall at once except the one that Monty has gripped in his hand.

Suddenly Monty starts chasing after Jasper with the log, flailing it up in the air like he’s gonna chop Jasper's head open with it.  Jasper runs in circles around me, desperately trying to escape the murderer that Monty has become.

Ok. Maybe they haven’t grown that much.

...but I’ll let them have their fun.

Jasper’s laughs fill the air as he continues running around the camp with Monty, who has a smile plastered on his face, right behind him.

We don’t know what will happen on this journey.

My smile fades.

We don’t even know if we’ll all make it back.

\-------

We’re close to Mount Weather.

The air around me starts to grow thicker, making it as if I can’t breathe.

As if in an instant, we stand in front of the one place that we never wished to come back to.

“Are you guys ready?”

I can hear the trembling in Monty’s voice but he still keeps up a strong stance.

“As ready as I’ll ever be.”

It’s never easy to go into this place.

Not even when we’ve been here quite a few times after the accident.

All the memories.

The screams.

I still have nightmares.

“Ok. Stay together.”

I turn towards them in a warning.

“Like I’m gonna walk off in that place. I don’t want to get murdered.”

Jasper with a fear stricken face grabs hold of Monty’s arm.

“I’ll stay by Mr. Confident here.”

I almost want to laugh as Monty nervously laughs.

Yeah. Confident alright.

\----------

Sneaking in through the front door, I peek around making sure not to attract any unwanted attention.

I wave towards Jasper and Monty behind me to give them the all clear.

They follow behind.

In a few short minutes of tip toeing I hear a couple voices.

“Do you really think I should be a dad right now? Look at this world.”

I peek into a room where two safely dressed guards are standing in front of a metallic table.

Backs faced me.

I spy two guns on a short wooden dresser behind them.

They won’t be able to get them in time if we do this right.

“Well, you can’t stop her from being pregnant now. Just roll with it. Maybe the world will become a better place before the baby comes into your life.”

The blonde guard pats the brown haired guard on the back as he sighs in exhaustion.

“Whoever feels confident right now. Come with me and be my backup.”

Monty and Jasper look at each other, waiting for the other to say something.

“You go Mr. Confident.”

Jasper states in a hushed voice, pushing Monty towards me.

Monty glares for a second towards Jasper before turning back to me.

“I guess me.”

I nod, not looking back at him again as I start towards the two guards who are still facing the wall talking.

The room becomes silent as they stop talking once I reach towards one of the guns.

A creak comes from under my feet.

“Do you hea-”

I cut him off short, knocking the gun into the side of his head.

The blonde guard who stares at me wide eyes goes to reach for something in his pockets but comes up with nothing.

He puts his hands up in surrender.

“W-what do you want?”

As he starts stuttering, I am the gun towards him.

“Where are Clarke and Bellamy?”

“Who?”

His hands fall to his side as he gives me a face of confusion.

He knows nothing.

I bump the butt of the gun into his head.

With a thud, he falls to the ground.

“We good?”

Jasper carefully steps into the room.

“No. We’re not good. If he knows nothing what could they be doing to them. To keep it a secret…”

I press my hand up to my forehead, suddenly feeling powerless.

“I don’t even want to know…”

I hear a sigh escape Monty’s lips.

“We still have to find them. No matter what. I know we don't want to think of this..”

An uncomfortable silence begins as Jasper hesitates.

“...but even if their dead. They would need a proper burial.”

The thought of Clarke being killed in a place like this… I can’t contain my anger as I flip the metal table behind me.

Clattering fills the room as the table falls sideways onto the ground.

“He said if. There’s no guarantee. Now keep quiet or we’ll be caught.”

Monty quiets down his voice, giving me his warning.

“Sorry. Just… I don’t want to imagine that.”

I take a few steps forward, straightening my spine.

“Monty and Jasper get in the suits. I’ll be the captive.”

\----------

Screaming erupts from a room close by.

“That has to be…”

I take one peek at Monty and Jasper behind me before unhooking my hands from the fake rope handcuffs and running towards the noise.

I hear footsteps running close behind.

I quickly open a door marked with the words ‘Control Room’ plastered in the middle. I widen my eyes once I make it inside, seeing through a window device to Bellamy.

A shadow come close to him.

“Hello.”

I feel my face tighten up and my breathing shorten as I see Cage come out from the shadows. I go up closer to the window, aiming my hand to hit the glass like exterior ut two hands stop me on each side of my arms.

“If you do that, you'll blow our cover.”

Monty says with strictness.

I bust out of their hold with a nudge.

“I don’t need a babysitter.”

I stare at the scene and press a yellow button marked microphone.

“Who are you?”

Bellamy looks like he’s coming out of a daze as Cage asks him a simple question.

What is he doing?

Cage knows who Bellamy is.

He was part of the reason why his whole people were wiped out.

“Who am I?”

Bellamy looks genuinely confused as he looks down at his hands.

“No. It can’t be.”

I turn my head towards Jasper and Monty who look like I do right now.

Scared shitless.


	46. A Spin

**BELLAMY**

Now with clothes on and food in front of me, I feel more comfortable.

But I don’t remember who I am or what I was doing before I lost my memory. Which makes me less comfortable.

I peek over at the guy in the brown shoes who’s talking to a guard in the corner.

He was the one who found me yet he can’t tell me anything about my life.

He says I worked for him without asking questions so I’m guessing that’s how he aims for it to be.

Even with their hushed voices, I can hear words here and there which make little sense.

“How’s Clarke?”

The guard brings up.

The guy starts to turn his head to me but not in time to see me staring once I pretend to eat.

Is she someone I’m not supposed to know.

“She’s doing fine I think.

I poke and prod at my eggs, placing a bite in my mouth every few seconds.

“She disappeared a few hours ago but I think she just went back to her room. Haven’t checked yet.”

I glance to see a surprised expression on the guards face.

“Don’t you think you should be looking after her? She was unpredictable and curious before. What makes you think she won’t be now?” The guard warns.

“The hundred might not be a hundred people anymore but they did defeat mostly our whole race.”

My eyebrows crinkle up at the name.

“They outsmarted us once. It had nothing to do with strength. I will not let that happen again.” I can almost see the spit fly at the guard as Cage closes in on her face.

She looks down acheming as she takes a few steps back towards the wall.

“What about Clarke and Bellamy? What are you going to do about them? They're so close by.”

I can feel a smirk rise up on his face.

“I’m gonna have to answer their questions before they become even more curious.”

He turns around.

“Bellamy.”

I almost rattle my whole dish over as he calls out my name in a split second.

A second I wasn’t expecting.

“Y-yes?”

I try to calm my nerves by sitting up straight.

“Meet me outside.”

I nod rushingly as he walks out the door.

\-----

I walk side to side with Cage down the hall that seems to extend with every step further.

My heart pulsates in my chest, almost like it will jump out at any second.

One I won’t be ready for.

He stops in a quick millisecond in front of a door like my own prison. I guess this whole place is one giant prison.

“I have a very special surprise for you. You know how I’ve been keeping your past a secret?”

I nod hesitantly.

He places a hand on the knob.

“Well…”

He opens the door.

The waiting for the surprise that may or not be what I want to see is like torture.

He finally opens it enough for me to walk through and I do exactly that with a bit more caution in my mind.

I instantly stop in my tracks as I feel a wave of safety from one thing I see.

Blonde wavy hair.

**WELLS**

We ended up in the vents to find Clarke and Bell when we couldn’t get through the area without being seen by ten or more Mountain Men.

Their really protecting that one door. 

“Clarke… Bellamy…”

I hear his voice.

The voice that I want to punch in so much.

I gestured behind me towards Monty and Jasper as they came towards the vent, looking down with me.

I saw Clarke staring wide eyed at Bellamy with Cage in the middle of them like he was introducing them.

What sick game is he playing?

Is all he wants is entertainment?

“If he were really avenging his people. Wouldn’t he just kill them?”

I don’t look up as I ask in a whisper.

There’s a moment of silence as we just stare at Cage smiling his ass off.

“Unless he’s planning to have fun with them first.”

I gulp as Jasper’s conclusion.

I will ruin his plans no matter. I will stop this before he goes too far.

....but then Cage said something even I couldn’t predict.

**CLARKE**

“Bellamy and Clarke I know you think you don’t know each other but you do.”

I stare intensely at his face as if seeing him for the first time.

But I know for sure this wasn’t the first time.

“You two…”

I can see the excitement building up in his face but I wish he would just spit it out.

“...are siblings.”

I feel my heart rise into my throat and start to beat millions of times per second.

What?


	47. Memories

**BELLAMY**

As we stand in the room alone trying to avoid each other’s gaze, I feel an uncomfortable wave of emotion wash over me.

This doesn’t feel right.

I don’t think we’re siblings.

We’re different colors. And have different colored hair.

“This doesn’t feel right. Right? First we don’t look anything alike. And two, it just doesn’t feel right.”

She speaks first with a smooth voice I didn’t expect.

I catch her eyes.

“I know. But he says so. And he knows more than we do. Should we just trust him on this?”

A silence like before falls over the room.

She combs her hands through her hair, sighing.

“Everything seems so complicated lately. I don’t know who to trust anymore.”

I nod, feeling exactly the same way.

I look up at the ceiling as if it will give me the answer I needed.

Anything at all?

“TRUST YOUR FEELINGS!”

A yell from the sky makes me do a double take.

Ceiling?

I look to Clarke to see her eyes wide open like mine.

“You heard that too right?”

She looks up at the ceiling where the noise came from.

I hear cracking.

Lines start to form in the smooth rock above us.

In a sudden whiff of air, the ceiling comes crashing down. Vent first.

Grunts and rubble being tossed to the side fill the room with noise as three men as the source.

Three men I’ve never seen before who just appeared from the sky.

...or should I say vents so that I don’t sound so crazy?

Nope. Still crazy.

“You see them too right?”

Clarke doesn’t even look over as she just stares at the guys who are staring back at us.

“I told you you shouldn’t rock the vent!”

A chinese looking man yells at a black haired scrawny man beside him.

The black haired one starts to chuckle as he spits a piece of rock from his mouth.

The chinese sends a glare in the direction of the skinny man and he stops laughing in almost a millisecond.

“Sorry.”

He doesn’t stop glaring.

“Sorry. I SAID SORRY!”

He stops completely with no sign of a smile on his face.

The third man, a buff dark guy, who hasn’t moved since he fell, finally stands up as if he planned this whole thing. Like he was prepared for this thing to go down.

“Hello Clarke and Bellamy.”

I furrow my eyebrows.

“How do you know our names?”

He smiles the first friendly smile I’ve seen since I woke up.

“I know a lot more than just your names. I know your lives. I know you guys.”

Clarke suddenly steps towards the guy. No fear.

“Who are you?”

She asks in such a cold voice, the room seems to grow progressively colder.

“Ah, right. He erased your memories. I’m Wells. This angry puppy is Monty and the weak looking guy is Jasper.”

He doesn’t even seem fazed by Clarke.

As if he’s used to her.

Wow. This guy is fearless.

“I’M NOT WEAK YOU OVERSIZED MUFFIN!”

Jasper yells obviously offended.

Monty holds him back with one hand, not even having to put much strength into it.

I hold back a chuckle.

“I do not like these descriptions. But go on.”

Monty says.

Wait…

Erased memory?

**CLARKE**   
I felt a sense of belonging as I stood in the presence of these three guys I thought I had never met.

My mind started to create black dots circulating around me and soon all those dots blocked my vision as I felt my body drop to a thud. I heard everything around me.

Shuffling.

Yelling.

But one voice stood out above all these noises.

“Clarke! Clarke are you ok?!”

I felt him beside me.

Grabbing my arm as if it would bring me out of this fuzzy purgatory.

Soon, images I had never seen before started to roll around in my head as if I was watching a movie. I saw Bellamy. Monty. Jasper. Wells. Me?

They soon started to feel familiar.

We were happy.

My body moved in joyous laughter I had never felt before. I watched as every one of them were doing the same and then the laughter came in fully around me. I was happy. They were happy.

We were happy.

I heard the wincing of Bellamy as his grip on me disappeared.

“Bellamy?”

A confused voice yelled out.

“What’s happening?”

Worry filled his tone as if not meaning to. Wells was always worried though. Too much for his own good. He didn’t like to show it. But he was.

Wells?

A rush came through my head as if a waterfall that’s been blocked for years had finally broke.

I felt my body move up and down quickly, trying to catch my breath once my eyes pushed open.

“Clarke…”

My eyes that were moving around searching for something stopped on the figure of Wells.

My body soared through the air and the next thing I knew I was holding the guy they called Wells with all my strength.

“Clarke?”

Once realizing what I’d done, I moved away.

I don’t know why I did that.

He just felt so familiar.

“I… I felt like I knew you… but that’s impossible.”

I smile, looking away as if to hide the fact that I might be going crazy.

“Clarke. You do know us.”

My eyes strike to Jasper who has a serious look in his eyes.

Almost scary serious.

“We’re your best friends.”

My eyes narrow in confusion.

I know they can’t be right but I can’t come out with the words to tell them their wrong.

That dream.

What if it was real? What if they weren’t lying?

I feel like I should take the chance.

Like I should believe them.

“How about him?”

I glance at Bellamy holding his head near me, still with his eyes closed.

He has an intense expression on as if having a bad dream.

“Is he also my best friend?”

They take an instant look at him before smiling and nodding.

“A little more than that.”

Monty who had a smirk on his face reveals.

“Brother?”

I take the chance, my heart ready to leap out of my chest and die if he says yes.

“Gross. No.”

I feel relieved as he says that.

So Cage was lying.

“Boyfriend?”

The words slide off my tongue as if they were meant to be.

Monty and Jasper nod, giving each other obvious mental high fives.

My boyfriend.

This means me and Cage aren’t together.

I don’t know why I feel so happy about that.

A pain interrupts my thoughts as more memories fill my head.

Me and Bellamy sitting on a bed cuddles up to each other. In love. I can feel all the love fill my heart as if it was the missing piece. I don’t feel so empty anymore.

“Don’t you think we should get up?”

Bellamy twists to escape my grasp but I pull him back down.

“Come on Clarke. We’re the leaders.”

I shake my head as I smush my head into his chest.

“Don’t you think they can live without us for once day?”

I sound happy, annoyed, but with an uplifted tone in my voice.

“So clingy. I know I’m irresistible but-”

“You don’t want to finish that sentence.”

I hit him in the chest, causing him to laugh.

“I love you Clarke.”

I feel my body turn warm.

“I love you too Bell.”

My voice comes out as clearly just as it starts to fade away.

“You should probably get up before you become stuck to the ground.”

Wells announces as a hand grabs onto my arm. I don’t get up though.

“If I get up. We won’t be together anymore.”

I open my eyes to see him confused.

I look over to Bellamy, still on the ground and crawl over to him.

“Bellamy…”

My voice comes out quiet as I touch his cheek. His lukewarm cheek.

“Bellamy. Wake up.”

I grow closer to his face until I’m just inches away.

“I remember. Now please wake up so I can show you how much I missed you.”


	48. Going Home

**BELLAMY**

The world is like a static Tv as I watch my own body move without me in it.

Wells, Jasper, and Wells sit down in front of me and Clarke as they start talking about their work day. I see myself lean over to Clarke as the three stooges begin to argue like usual.

“I love you Princess.”

I hear so clearly yet I’m so far away.

“I love you too, Rebel Leader.”

I can see her smile as it shines through all the crap I’ve been through. I feel a smile cross against my lips.

The vision starts to fade away as I see my body kiss Clarke’s forehead.

“Bellamy…”

I open my eyes slowly. 

They start to adjust to the light when I see her.

Clarke.

I don’t take another second before grabbing onto her shirt and pulling her down to my lips.

Hollers fill the room but I ignore them as she grabs onto my neck and pulls me closer. Sucking me farther in. Until…

“Ok. Guys as happy as I am right now I don’t want to watch you make out!”

Jasper yells out.

We pull apart slowly, smiles on our faces.

“I take it you remember.”

Her laugh turns into a cheery tone.

I nod.

“Everything.”

She sighs with relief as she pulls me into a hug.

… at least that’s how it was supposed to happen.

I wake up with a shooting up of my body.

“Are you ok dude?”

I look around, a fuzzy feeling filling my head.

I see Wells checking on me as Clarke is on the ground, looking away from everything to the ground.

“Clarke, do you remember?”

My voice echoes through the room as if in a panic.

Please remember.

Her eyes land on me as if she’s seeing a stranger.

“I remember them... but…”

My whole body feels like it’s going to crumble.

“I can’t seem to place you. It’s like those memories are locked and I can’t find the key.”

My jaw clenches as I’m about to hit the stone ground if someone doesn’t yell sike.

“Cage must have done something special to her. He had it out for her the most.”

Jasper announces.

“Yeah. I just thought I could make her remember.”

“...but how?”

The room turns silent.

“KISS HER!”

Monty yells out like he’s trying to give us away.

Jasper punches him in the arm and he whisper apologized.

“Monty, this isn’t like those fantasy books on the Ark.”

Jasper pounces on the idea.

“We have to try…”

I stand up and walk over to her slowly before holding out my hand.

“If your up for the task.”

She stares at me for a while.

A small smile comes across her face.

“When aren’t I?”

I can see she doesn’t believe this will work, but the fact that she wants to try.

She grabs onto my hand and I pull her up to me.

We’re close enough and it feels normal to be like this.

“Just kiss her!”

I can feel all eyes on us and before she has time to stress over the idea, I lean down quickly.

A door knob starts to turn just as our lips touch.

We don’t have time to move away as the touch feels right.

“Oh no… Siblings shouldn’t be doing that.”

I can tell it’s Cage and we all pretty much freeze.

We move apart and Clarke grabs her head, obviously in pain.

“You!”

Cage points at the three scrooges.

“SHIT GUYS WE’VE BEEN SPOTTED COME ON!”

**CLARKE**

Everything starts to come back to me in painful way.

I can barely see straight.

All I know is we have to get out of here.

Wells doesn’t take a second before jumping up into the ceiling hole, hanging onto the edge before pulling himself up. Impressing us. But we don’t have time and my head is killing me.

“GUARDS GET THOSE RATS!”

Wells holds his hand down waiting for the next person to get up to their freedom.

I push Monty and Jasper towards Wells’ hand. Their the easy ones to pull up.

As expected they are quickly raised up, grabbing onto the metal piece of the vent still intact to get into the vent.

Next is Bellamy who isn’t as easy for Wells, but he has no time to think about going up first so I help him a bit.

Once Bellamy is up and safe, Wells looks down towards me.

I raise my arm up, which Wells grabs onto not wasting any time.

I’m halfway up when Cage with the guards finally enter the room. The footsteps march towards me. Wells notices and tries to pull me up faster, but not in enough time as Cage grabs onto my leg.

I kick as hard as I can, but I can see the determination and anger in Cage’s eyes as I know he won’t let me go even if his life depended on it. But what he doesn’t know is that Wells won’t either.

“CLARKE GRAB ON!”

Bellamy pushes himself beside Wells and I grab onto his hand also. I can see the scared looks in their eyes knowing how scared they are to lose me again.

It should be easy to pull me up, but Cage is really trying to rip me apart with how strong he’s pulling down there.

I can see the strength leaving both Wells and Bellamy’s faces who I know are the strongest people in my life physically.

“Your love for this girl is what will make her die in the end!”

Cage yells in aggression, but Bell just tries to ignore it.

“Like you with the love of your people?!”

His grip loosens and I kick him in the face.

I’m released.

I kick myself up with the help of my boys.

**BELLAMY**

“CAPTURE THEM!”

Cage’s voice echoes through the halls once he’s out of eye’s view.

Now we just need to get out of here without getting caught.

\------

One by one we tumble out of the vents onto the grass laid outside.

I gasp for fresh air as I’m the last one out.

“No time for resting. We need to go now.”

“You know how hot it was in there right? I know we need to go but I’m roasting like a marshmallow on fire.”

I glance up at Jasper to see his face super red.

I try not to laugh as he tries to keep leaning against the wall without falling over.

**CLARKE**

I glance back at Bell as he stares at Jasper.

I can’t help but smile.

I have never wanted to stick to him like glue so much before.

He catches my eyes and smiles back.

“So. You remember?”

I know he already knows the answer but he tries to act completely oblivious.

He’s never been too good at acting before, he can’t start becoming a pro now.

All I can do is not, my ability to speak vanquished.

He moves closer to me.

“I mean it was a pretty damn good kiss. So how couldn’t you remember?”

He crosses his arms, a smirk appearing on his face which makes my smile disappear.

“You just had to ruin the moment with your personality, didn’t you?”

He takes a second from his giant ego to playfully punch me on the arm.

“You love it, don’t lie.”

As he stares at me with that huge smile, growing larger by the second, I can’t help but let my walls break down just a bit.

I feel my mouth raise up just a little which makes his eyes shine with happiness.

I look out to the group as we stand up.

“I’m so sorry. I got us into this mess and you had to go through so much pain an-”

If it weren’t for me...

Suddenly, a wind forms towards me and next thing I know Bellamy had his arms wrapped around me.

All the words I was about to say suddenly vanish, my throat tightening.

“Clarke. It doesn’t matter. All that matters now is that we’re together.”

I raise my arms around his waist, resting my head in his chest.

I move away, looking over at the rest of the guys.

“...and you guys. You risked everything for us.

They catch eyes towards each other and give a small uplifting smile for support.

They should be proud of each other.

“Your family. We would never let anything happen to you guys.”

Wells says with such confidence.

A feeling of warmth quickly fills my chest. Like a bubble that couldn’t be popped no matter what anyone said in this moment.

No matter where we are. No matter what we do. We will always have each other. 

Always be a family.

That’s one thing I can be sure of.

“Now let’s go home.”


	49. An Ending

**CLARKE**

We get to the gates and that’s when I stop.

Pain fills my head.

But no memories.

I saw everything.

I try to stop my body and stand still but everything moves so fast.

I tumble to the ground, not being able to stop myself.

Something was wrong.

Very wrong.

**BELLAMY**

I lay Clarke on top of one of the medic beds.

“Wells what’s wrong with her?”

He comes up to her bed and checks her pulse.

“I have no idea. But Bellamy.”

He looks back at me with scared eyes.

“Her pulse is slowly down. Really slowing down.”

“What? What does that mean?”

He shakes his head.

“It must have been from the serum.”

“But I was given the serum also. I feel fine.”

“Yeah but Cage didn’t hate you as much as her. We don’t know how much was given to her.”

My mind starts to race.

“She was having such bad headaches. I just thought…”

“We all thought.”

“So what does this really mean?”

Wells sits down, shifting his hand down to her hand.

“Whatever was in that serum. However much he gave her-”

“Just spit it out!”

“It’s killing her!”

I stand still, shocked down to my core.

“What do we do? We have to do something.”

“Bellamy…”

“What do we do?”

He gives me those eyes full of pity that I do not want.

“There’s nothing we can do. Once she wakes up. If she wakes up. We have to say goodbye.”

His eyes start to glisten as his voice begins to shake.

That’s how I know this is real.

I run out of the tent.

“BELLAMY!”

I don’t listen as tears start to prick at my eyes.

No. No. After all that…

NO!

I wipe at my eyes, charging into my tent.

**WELLS**

“Clarke?”

After a few minutes her hand begins to shake.

Her eyes spark open as if she was just powered on.

I can see already how weak she is.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

She looks away thoughtfully for a moment.

“Clarke…”

She tries to pick herself up, but doesn’t have enough strength and I have to help her back down.

She scoffs.

“That jackass.”

“What?”

“He said I had a fifty fifty chance of dying after all those shots he gave me. That extra one before Bellamy came into the mix must have disrupted the balance.”

I look down.

“So it was the serum.”

I look up, catching her eyes again.

“Yeah. It was the serum. I can even feel myself fading away.”

“I’m so sorry Clarke. If I had gotten there sooner.”

“No. Don’t. This is not your fault.”

I can’t help feel it is, but I don’t burden her with it.

“How’s Bellamy doing?”

I can see that she knows but I answer anyways.

“Worse than anyone in the world.”

She chuckles.

“Sounds about right.”

She tightens her hold around my hand.

“So we should say our goodbyes.”

I nod, tears already pricking at my eyes.

“How’s Murphy?”

I squint my eyes.

“Let’s not talk about that asshole.”

“Wells. I’m dying. Tell me the damn secret.”

I shake my head.

“Fine.”

I achem.

“He freaked out on me when I tried to take care of him in the medic tent. And when he got healthy enough he ran out of camp. I followed him to make sure he got back safe. But he went into the Grounder camp. And joined them.”

She widens her eyes at the big reveal.

“Wow. Shit. Sorry.”

“No. I deserved it. Once an ass always an ass.”

“You didn’t deserve it. I can’t believe it.”

“No. What I can’t believe is that I’m losing my best friend.”

She looks away this time.

“I’m trying to stay strong. But… I can’t believe we won’t be ruling this world till we die of old age.”

She tries to laugh but tears fall down her face, causing mine to also fall.

I wrap my arms around her shoulders in a side hug. Closing my eyes, I feel her hands grab onto my arm.

“I’m gonna miss you like hell.”

“Me too.”

\-------

After minutes of crying, which felt like an eternity I hear the sheet slide open.

I look up, wiping away my tears to see Jasper and Monty.

“Looks like my times up.”

She smiles, trying to keep the tears in.

“I love you Wells.”

“I love you even more Clarke.”

I give her hand a small tug as I leave from the drop ship before I completely break down.

Too late.

I slide down the wall outside as the tears start crawling out of my eyes.

I hate this damn world so much.

My whimpering comes out without me even caring.

**CLARKE**

“Hey guys.”

They bring another chair up as they both sit down.

I can see that their trying to keep it together the best they can.

My eyes are still wet from my talk with Wells.

“I don’t even know what to say. I can’t think of how this is ok.”

Monty comes out with first.

“You don’t deserve this. You deserve better. You deserve to be happy. This isn’t ok.”

His eyes start to glisten as he wipes them away.

Jasper wraps an arm around Monty, who burrows his head in Jasper's shoulder.

“I can’t believe you won’t be there for the wedding.”

Jasper announces.

“She said yes?”

I ask.

He nods, trying to smile.

“Oh my god Jasper. That’s so great. I’ll make sure to clear my schedule so I can be there in spirit.”

He smiles, the tears making their way through.

“Make sure to do so.”

He wipes his nose with his free hand.

“Come here.”

I open my arms as much as I can and they both come over to wrap their arms around my shoulders.

“I love you guys.”

I close my eyes, taking in the moment.


	50. At Last

**WELLS**

I see the duo come out, hugging each other and I realize it’s time.

I go to Bellamy’s tent.

I swift inside.

“It’s time Bell.”

He’s on his bed, his hands shaking. I can see the tear marks under his eyes.

“I can’t do it Wells. I can’t.”

I sit down next to him.

“You need to. Because there won’t be another chance and you’ll end up regretting it. You need to Bell.”

“I just thought with time she would magically get better, but she’s not. Is she?”

I shake my head.

“I’m so sorry Bell.”

He wipes his eyes.

“I’m sorry too.”

**BELLAMY**

As I make it to the medical tent, I feel the slowness of it all.

I can feel my heart breaking as I shift the sheet aside.

It all feels like too much.

Like I’m breaking right here. And the only person who can clean me up is leaving forever.

I see her about midway, laying there as her breaths begin to shorten.

The paleness of her skin, as she grows cold. Yet she still looks as beautiful as she was when I first saw her.

She catches my eyes and that’s when the tears begin.

I sit down, wiping them away.

“Don’t.”

She grabs my wrist, bringing it down as she moves down to my hand and tightens her hold.

Silence envelopes the room, but it’s a comfortable silence.

“I don’t know where to start.”

“Thats a first. The oh so great charmer Bellamy doesn’t know what to say.”

I smile, seeing the girl I love trying to make jokes.

“I’ll start.”

She tightens her hold on me.

“I love you so much. More than I have loved anyone. And I will never forget all the memories you have given me. I will take them with me to the afterlife.”

I look down, tears falling down my cheeks as my cool exterior has broken.

Her voice cracks as tears fall down her own face.

“If we hadn’t become closer, this would never have happened.”

I come out with.

“I don’t regret it. I don’t. So look at me.”

I take a second before doing as she asks.

I can’t look away as our eyes are interlocked.

“I hope you don’t regret falling for me.”

I shake my head.

“Never. I’m so glad I figured out my feelings. If I hadn’t I would have felt an emptiness like never before. I love you so much.”

I bring our interlocked hands up to my mouth as I grow closer.

“I think it’s time.”

I shake my head.

“Please don’t go.”

I close my eyes, unable to keep all my emotions inside.

“I have to Bell. But know. You were my Rebel Prince. And I was your Princess.”

I nod.

“I know.”

Her breathing steadies for a moment.

But then it plummets.

And as she closes her eyes, her whole body just stops with one last breath.

I kiss her hand, breaking down as the tears beat out of my eyes.

“I love you.”

“Goodbye, Princess.”

I place my forehead on our hands as every bone in my body screams in agony.

In a way I can’t.

Because it hurts too much to scream.

My brain has died.

And my heart is gone.

\---------

It’s been a month since that day.

We buried her near the camp ground and now it was time to go back for revenge.

I start for the gate.

“Bellamy. This is crazy. Don’t you think we need to wait.”

Wells tries to stop me, but I shake my head.

“We’ve waited long enough. It’s time to get revenge.”

\--------

We make it to Mount Weather in the knick of time.

I barge into the doors, not caring who’s waiting for me on the other side.

I have my group behind me, at least the ones who were brave enough to come.

We run in like the group we are.

It almost feels as though she’s running with us.

Guards come out of the elevator and everything moves in slow motion as they bring out their guns.

Most of the group dodges out of the way inside rooms and throw spears but I go right for the bull.

I run into the elevator, pulling a gun out of one hand of the guards and pushing it into their forehead, knocking them out cold.

I snap the others neck.

There’s no time for hesitation anymore.

I push the button for the elevator as the group who make it fast enough pile inside.

We make it down, heat rising in our bones.

That’s when I see him.

Cage.

He runs for a supply room.

“GET THE OTHERS! HE’S MINE!”

I barge into the room, as he was trying to lock it.

He cowers into a corner, no sense of anything up his sleeve anymore.

“Run out of plans?”

“Bellamy. You don’t want to do this. Clarke wouldn’t want this.”

There’s no sign of a smile.

Which makes me smirk.

“I don’t have any logic anymore. You killed my logic.”

I take one of my knives and dive it right into his chest.

But then there’s a sort of pain in my own chest.

He drops the gun he’s holding.

I stumble outside of the room, watching as he takes his last breath.

“BELL!”

Wells, Jasper, and Monty rush towards me as fighting around us ensues.

“There’s so much blood.”

Monty almost gags.

“We need to get back to camp.”

Wells lifts me up by throwing my shoulder around him.

Jasper and Monty try to help.

\-------

Once we make it outside, I drop to the ground.

My whole body’s weak.

“Bell. Come on we just need to get some bandages.”

Wells tries to make things better but I shake my head.

“No. I didn’t want to die in that hell hole. But here should do well.”

I look up at the light blue sky with a tinge of orange.

It’s like a painting.

“Bell. Please. I can’t lose you too.”

Wells pleads.

I look over him.

“You have been my rock throughout this. You all have been. And I couldn’t have made it this long without you guys. Which is why you should be the leader now Wells.”

He shakes his head.

“No. That’s your role.”

“Wells. Your so strong. And Clarke would have wanted this for you.”

He stares at me.

“Just take it. Please.”

He hesitates before nodding.

“Ah. I see her. I finally see her.”

As my body grows more limp, I catch the sight of Clarke hovering over behind Wells.

She smiles.

“She’s been waiting for me.”

I take one last breath.

“I have waited for this day for a long time.”

She holds out a hand towards me, and I don’t hesitate to grab it.

I’m pulled out of my own body.

I smile this time, pulling her close to me.

A bright light explodes between us.

“Finally. My Princess.”


	51. Different

**BELLAMY**

Ah. My head feels so terrible.

Am I dead?

Everything is so bright.

I sit up, patting myself down and realize that I am truly alive.

What was all that then?

And why am I on the ground?

“Bellamy are you alright? I have to go.”

I nod, but then look up towards Clarke who’s standing over my body.

She’s wearing the clothes she was in when we destroyed Mount Weather. So that means none of what I saw actually happened. I must have passed out from the stress or something. Everything’s so fuzzy.

“Wait.”

I stand up quickly, hearing what she actually said.

“Where are you going?”

I can see how saddened she is as she looks away, eyes glistening.

“You know I have to leave Bellamy, I can’t go in there. I-I can’t-”

She tries to explain. She finally looks into my eyes.

“After what I did to the Mountain Men, I can’t look at their faces everyday. Remembering what I did to get them here.”

She looks towards our people enjoying themselves in camp.

We’ve been through this before. I have.

She can’t leave.

I have to make her stay.

I don’t know what that dream meant. But I do know that she needs to stay here. So that I can figure it out.

“Are you ok Bellamy?”

I take a second.

“No. No I’m not ok.”

She stares at me, confused.

“I’m not letting you go. I can’t.”

“Bellam-”

“No. All the people in there they love you, and they will always love you no matter what you do. Leaving won’t change anything. Your still going to have that guilt. But we’ll help each other. Like friends do.”

She looks down, trying to dodge what I say.

Not getting away that easily.

I just admitted we’re friends.

I don’t take that kind of reveal easily.

**CLARKE**

Love is weakness. 

I’ve known and tried to get away from it before. But it always ends up finding and trying to suffocate me to believe in it.

Maybe I should finally just believe that love will help me.

That my friends will.

Maybe it’s ok to depend on them.

No.

They shouldn’t have to deal with this. Bellamy shouldn’t have to look at me every day knowing what he did because of me.

Love gets the people I care about hurt.

I care about everyone here, even Bell. He can be an ass and make me regret ever trusting him but I don’t care half the time. Because he’s someone I love to hate.

Without him I would have never survived in this world. Which is why I need to leave. To become stronger. To be less dependent.

Because they deserve more.

My head hurts so much.

“I can’t stay Bellamy. I just can’t. I’m sorry.”

I say and turn around to walk away.

But I’m pulled back by the wrist.

I pull out of his hold as we’re close together.

“I did not go through all of this. Trust you. Believe in you. Just so you could leave. Abandon your group.”

“It’s for the best Bell. I’m just going to pull you guys down. I shouldn’t have to depend on other people to help me deal with my own doing.”

“Our doing.”

“You know what I mean. Your stronger. You can deal with it.”

He shakes his head.

“You think I want to deal with it alone? Even though I don’t want to I depend on you to be my logic. You can’t just leave me here. Alone.”

I stare into his eyes, obviously tortured.

**WELLS**

“Come on.”

I set his heavy limp body onto the bed. He tumbles, obviously not caring if he got hurt. 

He groans, turning on his side from the pain.

“Well maybe you shouldn’t do that.”

I go to get the medical bag on the table next to another bed.

“Maybe… you should shut up and let me die.”

His voice is still rough. I scoff.

“Like I’d give you the satisfaction.”

I come back to his side, helping him onto his back.

I set the bag on the ground, pulling it open to bring out some alcohol.

Pouring it on a rag ripped from old clothing, I lift up his arm with my hand.

“This will hurt.”

He looks over.

“You must be overjoyed. Reason to cause me-”

I don’t let him finish as I begin to dab his rope burns.

He winces, making me smile a little bit.

Biting on his lip, he shuts up slightly closing his eyes shut.

I keep on cleaning his wound.

“This is actually more satisfying than I thought. Shutting you up.”

He groans.

“Y...you’d … have more luck if I was dead.”

I finish up his wrist, setting it down so I can get some bandages.

He lets out a heavy breath like he was holding it.

“But then our numbers would go down. And we can’t afford to lose any more people. Even an unpleasant person like you.”

He scoffs.

I start wrapping his wrist.

“You care too much. That will get you killed.”

“I thought you didn’t care about me.”

“I don’t.”

“Well then don’t tell me how to live my life.”

I rip off the remaining bandage, taping it down before I get the alcohol again for his leg closest to me.

Staring from here I can see that the rope wound it pretty deep. They must have tightened them because he kept kicking them. I thought his arms would be the main problem.

With how many times he’s tried to fight me, I should know.

“Why did you have to get tied down? We weren’t even in trouble at the time.”

I ask, picking the cloth up.

“I thought you didn’t care about me.”

“I don’t.”

“Well then don’t ask so many questions.”

Touche.

**CLARKE**

He grabs my wrist again, peering into my eyes.

“Depending on your friends isn’t being weak. It’s being human.”

He grows closer.

“That’s all we have separating us from the Grounders and the Mountain Men. Our humanity.”

He finally lets go, moving away.

“It’s our strength.”

I want to be able to drown out his words. Not believe them and just keep going on. Forgetting about all the pain I have caused and the pain I feel. But.

I look over at them and see that what he’s saying is the truth.

Our friendship has gotten us out of some tough situations.

We had each other. And that’s why we kept going. There were betrayals. And there were mess ups. But we made up for it all in the end.

I smile.

“So. Are you staying?”

He’s letting his hope get the best of him.

I’ll be ruined for a while.

But as long as I have my group by my side. I think I’ll be able to make it through this.

Running away will do nothing.

“Yeah. I think I will.”

He smiles finally, the anxiety leaving his face.

“Let’s go celebrate then. Cause they must be waiting for us.”

I nod.

**BELLAMY**

We walk into camp together.

It could have went either way and we ended up going in together.

I’m glad.

Couldn’t have been a Rebel Prince without the Princess.

“Bellamy! Catch!”

I turn towards the voice, whipping my hand in the air just in time to catch the bottle Monty has thrown at me.

“You good Monty? Getting tipsy?”

He stares at me for a while. Trying to figure out an answer.

“Is that bad?”

I scoff.

“No. If anyone should it’s you buddy.”

He smiles as I take a swig of the bottle.

I turn the bottle to Clarke, but she pushes it away.

“I think it would be best if one of us was sober. We are still the leaders.”

“Come on Princess. Just one drink. There’s no buzzkills tonight.”

She stares me down.

“Ok. Maybe there are.”

I start to give the bottle back to Monty but she tears it away from me, swallowing a couple seconds of moonshine.

She pulls the bottle away from her lips, wiping her mouth with her sleeve.

“Wow. Good going Clarke.”

Monty talks impressed.

“I could have done that in my sleep.”

She smirks towards me, handing the bottle back to Monty.

“So. What I’m hearing is a competition?”

I raise my eyebrows.

“Competition? I didn’t know the Princess was such a daredevil.”

She pats my chest.

“There’s a lot you don’t know.”

She walks away, looking back once to give me a come on look. I glance around, making my way to the bar with her.

I slow down, seeing Jasper with Maya as they talk to a group of random members.

Looks as if he’s introducing her.

I’m proud of him. Taking a chance.

I look down, catching a glimpse of their hands.

Not intertwined.

A flash from my dream comes back seeing them in love and intertwining hands.

All I see now is Jasper smiling painfully.

Looking like he’s introducing a friend instead of a girlfriend.

And like he’s not enjoying himself.

Maybe…

Maybe I’m just seeing things.

I keep walking.


	52. A New Thought

**CLARKE**

I turn over to my side in the bed, trying to get comfy.

Hmm.

I wonder when I got into bed last night.

Oh no. The headache is starting.

I bring my hand up to my forehead, scrunching up my face,

I shouldn’t have drank more than Bell for a stupid competition. I so won though. And to be honest that makes it all worth it.

“Well that’s sexy.”

I open my eyes surprised.

I widen them when I see Bellamy staring right back at me on the other side of me. In bed.

“I FORFEIT I FORFEIT!”

I yell out, jumping up and out of bed.

“You didn’t forfeit last night.”

He smirks and I glare at him.

“Drinking is so bad. I’m never drinking again. Ever. Again.”

“But I like drunk you. So bad.”

I can see he’s teasing me. But it’s making me so angry.

I look down, seeing that I’m still in my clothing. Wait. Unless I put all my clothes back on before I woke up. Or magically got dressed…

“You just figuring out we didn’t sleep together?”

I sigh.

“Bummed right?”

I shake my head, rolling my eyes.

“Why was I in your bed?”

I cross my arms.

“Well from what I remember you were so drunk that you were passing out over Finn. And so I got you out of there as quick as I could before you did something stupid. Being he’s still with Raven and still in love with you. I didn’t want you making a mistake.”

Finn. Oh my god.

I still haven’t talked to him about his feelings.

“But then why were you also in the bed?”

He looks at me like I’m crazy.

“I wasn’t gonna sleep on the floor.”

He sits up.

Sometimes I think he should be called the princess.

**WELLS**

I yawn.

I had to stay up the whole night patching up Murphy. He got to pass out halfway through it and I didn’t even go through with the party.

Sometimes he doesn’t deserve my pity.

He opens his eyes, staring at me. This causes me to move back.

“Why so creepy?”

I ask.

“I’ve been pretending to sleep for a while. Seeing if your doctor skills would notice.”

“I’m not psychic.”

“Obviously. Are you done?”

“Yeah. If you can get up your free to go.”

I smile. Not a cheery smile. A knowing one.

“No problem. Anything to get away from you.”

I nod, gesturing for him to leave as I move back in my chair. 

Waiting for the show.

He tries to lift himself up by the hands, wincing which causes him to fall back down.

He looks like such an idiot.

Wrapped in bandages. Bandaids over his face like some bad guy. Which he is. So it makes sense.

Even if he does get up. How’s he gonna walk? 

His ankles are still pretty badly damaged.

He shifts to his side, trying to use his wrists to sit up.

No luck.

I try to hold back my laughter.   
“You know. Doctors aren’t supposed to be laughing at their patients.”

“And I thought Murphy’s were supposed to be badass and heal so quick they can get back up and start fighting right away. We were both mistaken.”

He tries again.

“You know what.”

“What?”

He lays down.

“I’m gonna stay here. Because I want to and so that no one else can get treated.”

I look over at the other bed in the corner.

“Mhm. A real villain. Should I be scared?”

“I’m so punching you when I want to get up.”

I stand up.

“Go ahead.”

I start walking to the door.

“... but all I’m hearing are empty threats.”

**CLARKE**

After getting through that nonsense with Bellamy, I leave his tent to go find Finn.

Best to just get this over with.

He’s been trying to talk to me so much over the months that I’ve been ignoring him. We lost what we had left of a friendship and I think he deserves a chance again.

“Finn.”

I call him out as he walks out of his tent.

“Clarke.”

He widens his eyes.

“I didn’t think you would want to talk to me.”

“I think...we should talk.”

He nods.

His eyes tell me that he already know what this is about.

“Me too.”

\---------

We find a seat in the drop ship as everyone upstairs is passed out from the party the night before. People really got hammered. I heard there was even an orgy and I don’t want to know how Bellamy knew that.

“So. How have you been?”

I start off and he smiles.

The smile that says cut the bullshit.

“Come on Clarke. Let’s just get right into it. This is about my feelings right.”

“Finn. I really am flattered. But…”

“Your in love with Bellamy.”

I stare. My whole body locks up.

“What?”

I shake my hand, feeling the stiffness loosen up.

“No. No I just think we wouldn’t be good together. And plus your with Raven. I just don’t want us to lose contact with each other because we never talked about it. This has nothing to do with Bellamy.”

“Ok. I will admit I was still in love with you. And I get what your saying but me and Raven aren’t together anymore.”

“What? What happened I thought you were happy.”

He looks down, saddened.

“Yeah. I thought we could be. But I was living in the past. We needed to be apart and she understood that. I knew deep in her heart she wasn’t over her feelings for Wick either. As I wasn’t over you.”

He sighs.

“It was just hidden feelings all over and it wasn’t working.”

“I’m sorry. That must be tough.”

“Thanks for talking to me Clarke. I think I can get over you now. Just say your not in love with me and I can do it.”

He looks at me, waiting for those words.

“It’s not too harsh?”

“No. Just do it.”

I take in a deep breath.

“I’m not in love with you.”

I feel better when I say it to his face. Knowing that he knows and that I know for sure. That I could never love him like he wants me to.

He smiles.

But I can see inside he’s broken.

His eyes avert slightly from mine. His body shifts away from me. All the signs are showing how bad he feels right now.

But it needed to be said.

I didn’t even know he was going through all this. I feel even worse now.

“But let’s keep being friends.”

“Yeah. Of course.”

He takes a few minutes to adjust, staring at my legs.

“I should get back to watch. My shift is this morning.”

I gesture out, saying he’s free to go.

He goes to leave.

But stops right at the sheet.

“Clarke?”

I look up.

“Yeah?”

“Just so you know. I hated him for a while. But Bellamy is good for you. He went after you when I wouldn’t. He’s brave. I see how happy he makes you and you make a good team.”

“Finn. Nothing’s going on with me and Bellamy. But. Thanks. He would appreciate that.”

His face loosens, almost like he wants to laugh.

“You may not notice it on the surface. But deep down you know what I’m saying is true. It’ll bubble up soon enough.”

I furrow my eyebrows in confusion.

“Finn.”

“Princess.”

I smile, letting it slide.

“You are brave. Just for someone else.”

He stays silent for a second.

“Thank you.”

He looks off thoughtfully.

“I’ll see you around.”

He waves goodbye and leaves.

Me and Bellamy?

I’ve never even thought about it.


	53. A Drunk Morning

**CLARKE**

I walk out of the drop ship after thinking a bit.

Once out, I see Bellamy with a drink in his hand at the bar.

I start on my way over, slowing down. I stare at his movements. The way he brings the cup up to his lips, sipping only a little bit before he takes it back down. Savoring the Moonshine with that content look on his face.

Before I know it, I’m up to him and he’s caught my eyes.

“Drinking already?”

I judge, sitting down next to him on one of the bar stools.

“You're the lightweight. Not me. Didn’t even remember yesterday night.”

He tsks towards me and I roll my eyes.

“So I saw Spacewalker walk out of the drop ship before you. What went on there?”

I notice him put his drink on the bar table, obviously bothered as he stares into his cup.

“Well. Turns out him and Raven broke up.”

He looks up. Surprised.

“Yeah I had the same expression.”

He quickly regains his composure, making sure to look away.

“So. You two gonna give this thing a shot?”

He achems.

I kind of like to see him squirm.

I wait a few moments on purpose.

“No. But we’re gonna stay friends.”

“Leaving me on the edge of my seat. Only to bring me down.”

He acts all disappointed but I can see he’s glad.

The way his had loosens against his glass when it was so tight before.

He’s never been too into Finn.

“He actually said something about you.”

I adjust my sleeve.

He looks up interested.

“Oh he’s talking behind my back now, is he?”

I smirk.

“Actually. He said you were good. Brave.”

I leave out the other parts, knowing he wouldn’t let me hear the end of it.

It could never happen anyways.

“Oh really?”

He gives that over confident smile which makes me scoff.

“I might be able to like him yet.”

“Too bad all he said we lies.”

“Hey. Let me enjoy this.”

I chuckle.

I stare at him again.

He’s too focused on his drink to notice.

Why have I been staring so much?

Just. Now. Everything seems so interesting about him.

I can’t quite pinpoint why.

“Hey...guys.”

Monty appears out of nowhere from behind the bar.

His voice is rough and he seems groggy.

His hair is messed up and flipped upwards. It seems like it’s stuck up there.

It would be hilarious if I still didn’t have a headache and laughing didn’t make me want to puke.

“Uhh. Monty were you sleeping back there?”

I point towards the ground.

“Yes. Very much so. I think I drank a little too much.”

He leans over the bar, like an unprofessional bartender.

“No kidding.”

“You didn’t notice he was down there? I thought it was pretty obvious.”

Bellamy shrugs, bringing the drink back to his lips.

Like this isn’t weird at all.

I hear more groaning from behind me and look back to see Jasper come out of a tent. Wells’ tent.

I raise an eyebrow.

“Jasper?”

He catches our sight like a hawk and widens his eyes.

“Oh my god guys. When did you come in here?”

“Jasper. You came out of a tent. We didn’t come anywhere.”

He stumbles, turning around.

He’s obviously confused as he stares at the tent.

“Woah. Your right.”

I sigh, shaking my head.

I’m friends with these people.

“Jasper can’t handle his moonshine that well.”

Monty states, leaning too much into his hand.

“I wouldn’t have to deal with this, if you didn’t drag me into drinking Monty.”

He tries to come over to us, pointing at Monty.

He can barely find his step and almost falls over each step.

“It is not my fault.”

Monty tries to defend himself. But stops. Leaning over like he’s about to puke.

I watch in disgust, trying to look away.

“Actually. From what I remember. Monty was trying to get Maya to drink so that she would do something stupid as he told me. And Jasper started drinking because she said it would be fun. And she didn’t want to drink alone her first time.”

“Dude.”

Monty looks towards Bellamy, betrayed.

“What?”

He acts like he didn’t do anything wrong.

“You remember last night? Are you magic?”

Jasper reaches Bell, pulling on his shoulder.

Bellamy pulls out a stool, pushing him down to sit.

“You need this right now. You also need to brush your teeth. Your breath is toxic.”

Bell waves his hand in front of his nose.

“I think I got a little drunk off of it.”

I shake my head, not believing him.

“So. Jasper. Why were you in Wells tent?”

Jasper looks barely awake, his eyes flickering.

But my question shoots him right up.

“He said he had something to show me.”

“And?”

“And then he fell asleep. I woke up thinking there was an earthquake but it was just him snoring.”

I nod.

“Yeah. He gets really bad snores when he’s really tired.”

I look off, thinking.

“But. I didn’t see him last night at the party. Are you sure he talked to you last night?”

“No.”

Jasper falls on the bar and I look over to Monty who has also passed out.

Ok then.

I guess we’re done talking to them.

“Very fun night.”

Bellamy states, raising his drink up like a toast.

“By the way did I tell you about the orgy?”

I squint my eyes.

“How could you forget about telling me that?”

“Oh. No. I remembered. I Just wanted to talk about it again.”

“Bellamy. Please. No-”

“So I was walking up into the drop ship-”


	54. Live

**CLARKE**

“Guys. Hello? Anyone?”

I groggily bring my head up.

“Hmm?”

My vision is blurry but I don’t have a headache anymore.

The whole vision thing clears up in about few seconds and focuses on the face of Wells.

He looks at me.

“Oh. Hey. Your up?”

He nods, like no duh.

I look around, seeing everyone else sleeping on the bar. Even Bellamy who has a whole bottle in his hand. 

This guy... 

“Oh. What did you show Jasper in your tent?”

“Jasper?”

He questions, confused.

“Oh. That. No I found him early this morning in front of the drop ship grumbling on about Monty being the devil and I told him I had to show him something so he would follow me.”

I nod, gesturing him to continue.

“I finally got him into my room when he went limp and I passed out. Because I was up all night patching up Murphy.”

“Oh. Murphy.”

I try to smile. Still groggy.

“Don’t do that. He’s been really depressed ever since he got back. I’m just trying to make sure that he doesn’t die. Don’t worry. I remember how much of an ass he is.”

“As long as you remember.”

“It’s just. He’s had such a hard time. But I have to stop having so much hope in him when he just ends up letting me down.”

I hold out my hand.

“Like when he punched you in the face.”

“Or when he made me think he was a good person and ended up-”

“Deserting you for days after you tried to give him another chance.”

“Exactly.”

I can see how done he is. And honestly I don’t blame him. Murphy has been more downs than ups and I don’t even know why Wells insists on keeping him alive.

But then I do. 

He’s too kind.

But I think. If he wants to die. Just let him do it.

I could never tell Wells that though. Too harsh. He would end up giving me a lecture on how everyone deserves saving even if he’s contradicting what he just said.

“Here. Have a drink.”

I grab onto the bottle that Bell is practically cuddling.

I try to pull it up, but he grumbles and pulls it more into his arms.

“Bell-”

“I think he needs it more than me.”

Wells looks at Bellamy and the bottle, a smile coming to his lips.

“They actually look cute together.”

I smile, laughing a few seconds later.

“This is a great little party you have going on by the way.”

He points at everyone in a circle.

“You think?”

I can tell he’s being sarcastic but I just roll with it.

“Hey. Did you hear about the orgy?”

He scrunches up his face.

“Hear about it? I was hearing it while it was happening. Also hearing Murphy complain about not being able to join because I’m a buzzkill.”

I scoff.

“Even Bellamy came in. Trying to listen in but he ended up falling over. Passed out for a while. And then left, forgetting all about it.”

I laugh, imagining that whole scene.

“Can you believe people in our group are becoming romantically involved? Finn even thought me and Bell were ‘in love’.”

He stays silent, looking down for a second.

“I actually can see that.”

“What? Not you too…”

“Hey. I don’t like it. I just can see why he would think that. I’m your best friend. I’m supposed to hate every guy your near.”

He gestures to Bell.

“Even the ones I don’t actually hate.”

I scoff.

“You used to.”

“Used to. Don’t hold that against me.”

He points at me head on.

“Don’t worry. I used to hate him too.”

“Oh. Yeah. Right. You know what?”

“Hm?”

“We should have started a group. His sister would have definitely joined.”

“What happened to her anyways?”

Wells looks off.

“I think she just sneaks out a lot to meet her boyfriend. Spends a lot of time at the Grounder camp. Bell doesn’t even care by this point. Which is surprising because he used to be so protective.”

“Yeah. But she’s super fighty now. And the fact she can sneak into that camp when they hate her so much says a lot.”

He nods.

“Your right. Your right.”

“Clarke.”

I glance over at one of the guards for the gate.

“Yes?”

I stand up, seeing that he has a serious expression on.

Looks like the fun has ended.

“Anya, from the Grounders, is here.”

“What?”

I raise my eyebrow.

“What would she be doing here?”

Wells questions.

“She says she wants to speak with you.”

“Ok. I’ll be there soon.”

He nods, leaving to go tell Anya.

“Should we wake Bellamy?”

I look over towards Bell. He’s still sleeping with a smile on his face. I have no idea what Anya’s here for but I don’t want to ruin that stupid face.

“I’ve got this. The guards have my back.”

I start walking towards the gate.

“Keep my seat warm.”

“Aye aye captain.”

As I get closer to the opening gate, I see her with her Grounder army behind her. The same army that betrayed us at Mount Weather.

I get she was trying to get her people out as we would have done. But did she have to be such a snake about it?

“Anya.”

She nods once to be polite.

“Clarke.”

“So I hear you need to talk to me.”

“Yes. There is some news that you should know for the future.”

“Hello there Anya.”

I turn my head, even though I know it’s Bellamy.

“What are you doing here?”

I whisper, trying to be discreet.

“Did you think I would miss this?”

He pushes me forwards.

“Your being rude.”

I shake my head,

Unbelievable.

“So the news.”

Bellamy beckons for her to continue.

“Lexa, the old princess, has died.”

I widen my eyes.

Woah. I did not expect that.

She seemed so tough.

“Your future bidding will be with me.”

She seems unshaken by the news, almost as if there’s some meaning behind it.

But I can’t say for sure.

“Can we know how she died?”

She stares.

“Just so that the same doesn’t happen to us.”

Bellamy continues.

“She was stabbed. Multiple times. It was an unfortunate accident.”

I squint my eyes.

“Yeah. Sounds like one.”

She doesn’t seem to notice that I’m being sarcastic.

“I will take my leave now. I hope that we can stay civil even after what happened at Mount Weather. I hope you understand.”

I nod, clearly showing I understand.

Even though I don’t want to.

She gestures out towards her guards, and they turn around. Waiting for her to reach the front before following behind her.

We wait a few moments for her to be far enough away.

“Seems fishy doesn’t it?”

I ask, still staring out towards their group.

“As long as she leaves us alone, does it matter who’s in charge?”

Bellamy makes a fair point.

“But if she can cause that. Betrayal. How can we trust her?”

“Easy.”

I look up at him.

“We don’t.”

“...we just live.”


	55. Crippled Asshole

**WELLS**

Trying to whistle, I head back to the drop ship thinking I should check on Murphy.

I swear if he uses something from my medkit to stab himself.

Once I get inside, I stop whistling knowing how much I’m failing.

When did whistling become so hard.

“You done moping ye-”

I stop.

“Oh shit.”

**CLARKE**

We go to sit back down at the bar, Wells nowhere to be found.

“Where did he go? I told him to keep my seat warm.”

Bell grabs his empty bottle, turning it upside down as if some will come out. Nope. Dry.

“Maybe he went to go check on his charity case.”

“Murphy.”

I sigh.

“What is he thinking will happen anyways?”

“Clarke. Don’t ruin his fun. If he thinks there’s hope then let him think so.”

I obviously don’t believe in Murphy at all. None of us do.

Even Bell doesn’t but he also doesn’t care enough. Murphy tried to kill him and yet he doesn’t care.

I wish I could not hold grudges like him.

“He’s just hurt him so much. Physically. I don’t want him to get hurt mentally if and when Murphy betrays the group.”

I tap against the wood of the bar. There’s tiny scratches peeling off.

“He’s wasting all his time on one person. One person that will end up being worth nothing.”

“Hey.”

Bell turns to me, placing his bottle down.

“Murphy hasn’t been that bad in a while. Maybe there is hope yet.”

I scoff, chipping off another piece of wood.

“I’m not betting on it.”

“Well if not. Then Wells will get over it. And we’ll move on.”

I nod.

“Your right. No loss no foul.”

I look up, seeing Wells rush out of the drop ship. He seems like he’s searching for something as he peers around the camp. Then he spots us and heads over.

“Have you guys seen Murphy? Crippled asshole. Should not be walking.”

“He got up?”

Maybe I have yet to be impressed by him.

“Oh yeah. I forgot.”

Bell slams his hand against the bar, getting our attention.

“He was being carried by one of the group members. And then he became too heavy so he was dropped. And started crawling back to his tent. I didn’t care enough to help.”

Wells furrows his eyebrows.

“How did he get somebody to carry him? Everyone hates him.”

“Not the girls.”

I roll my eyes. Bell gives him a knowing guy look.

Wells shakes his head in disbelief.

“Wow. Bribing with his dumbass looks. I’ll be back.”

Wells begins to walk away.

“You go get him!”

Bell roots.

“What are you doing?”

I ask, interested and annoyed. He leans in close to my ear.

“Maybe he’ll kill him and we won’t have to deal with him anymore.”

He whispers.

I shake my head, smiling.

“We can only hope.”

**WELLS**

“Murp-”

I walk into his tent, catching sight of him instantly.

On the floor.

“You dumbass.”

I sigh, whispering under my breath.

He looks like he’s passed out. I probably shouldn’t drag him back. I’ll just end up hurting him more and the point of being his doctor is for him to be able to recover.

Kicking him into the dropship won’t help me with anything.

If I get him to heal quicker, the sooner I can ignore him again and go on with whatever life I have here.

I sigh, annoyed.

But if I can hurt him, no no. Stop it Wells.

I get closer to him on the ground, kneeling down.

Wouldn’t he love to see this right now.

His face is towards my body as he silently sleeps. His eyes are closed tightly, almost like he’s having a nightmare. He’s not speaking or mumbling but his face is tightly wound up in agitation.

I guess even bad guys like him have nightmares.

I wonder what about.

I should check if he has a fever. If he’s even worse off I might need to give him some medicine to help.

Placing the back of my hand to his forehead, I can tell it’s a little warm but mostly cold. I can feel some sweat coming off of his face but it’s not hot. 

I look back to the expression on his face, seeing that it’s slightly loosened.

He looks more relaxed now. 

There are remnants of the anxiety still on his face, but it seems the worst of it has passed.

He seems fine. I should go now anyways.

I start to get up, huffing out of frustration.

This guy is gonna be the death of me with how many problems he had. It’s good that most of his problems I don’t have to deal with but a lot of them I have to heal him for.

Something grabs at my wrist.

I dart my eyes back to him, seeing he still has his eyes shut closed.

“Don’t touch me.”

I widen my eyes.

“Sorry. I was just checking for a fever. Will never happen again I swear.”

I pull my hand out of his grip but his eyes don’t open. His arm just falls back to the ground, not even wincing from his wounds.

Is he still dreaming?

I shake my head off as I keep walking my way out.

Holding onto the sheet of the door, I glance back towards him.

There’s that agitated face again.

What is with this guy?


	56. Dying Life

**BELLAMY**

“Should we have told him we left?”

Clarke keeps walking in towards the woods.

“No. He’s too busy and he doesn’t need to worry about it.”

I see that she’s still bothered by the whole Murphy thing. But it’s his choice and I think we shouldn’t take that choice away from him.

Decisions and hope are all we have down here now.

I don’t think Murphy is capable of changing sometimes. But other times…

It doesn’t seem impossible.

“Plus. We’re just going hunting.”

She holds up her spear. I keep my gun in my back pocket for desperate measures.

“Do you think we’ll find anything this time?”

I kick at some branches, snapping them in half under my feet.

Using the machete Octavia found for me, I slice at the plants that have thick red thorns on them.

“I don’t know. But by this point we should be fine if we don’t. With all that food from Mount Weather I mean.”

She points out.

“Too bad most of what we could carry was freeze dried packets. We could have used most of those cans.”

“Quantity over quality.”

“Yeah. Shit quality.”

She smiles.

Silence take over, making time to take in the sights.

Usually I’m annoyed by the amount of things trying to kill us that I can’t just look around without seeing something threatening. But right now everything feels so much safer.

There is always the risk of giant animals but we’re good with the Grounders by this point and that’s what’s important right now.

I look up at the bright sun desperately trying to seep in through the trees towards us.

It glistens off plants that have just been rained on and creates a rainbowish texture as we pass.

It almost seems like an eternity when we finally hear something.

We stop, looking around us.

And then we see it.

A deer.

It’s eating some plants under its feet peacefully as we stare at it.

It turns slightly to reveal its other head.

The light brown fur on its body shines slightly from the sun. The eyes are wide and brown. It’s the most majestic thing I have seen in a while.

I gesture for Clarke to take aim.

She gets in position, crouching down as she points the arrow up into the sky.

She moves it slightly up, positioning it to shoot the deer right in the head for a painless demise.

“Now.”

I whisper, but then there’s more shuffling.

A spear lodges into the deer's neck.

I look to Clarke, seeing that hers is still in her hand.

The deer falls to the ground, shrieking from the pain. It’s unbearable and gruesome as blood pours out from where the spear got lodged.

Finally, the source of the spear comes out and snaps the deer's neck in a mere few seconds.

“Shit.”

Once I realize who it is, I can’t help but narrate out loud.

They stand up, peering quickly behind them towards us.

We catch eyes.

Their eyes are red with murder.

A reaper.

“Run!”

I grab onto Clarke’s wrist and begin to run the opposite way of the reaper.

“Bell what do we do!”

Clarke yells out as we jump up and over logs and under branches that we don’t have time to cut now.

I don’t answer her as we keep running.

I hear the footsteps of the reaper chasing us with no hesitation of stopping.

After the Mountain Men died I thought that they would die out quickly. Lincoln needed medical attention right away when he got off the red drug. But it seems some are still out there.

And are even more vicious than before as they try to find the drug to keep them alive.

In my distraction of thoughts, I almost trip over a branch.

Clarke catches me, pushing me forwards again to keep running.

We’re close to camp.

I have to make a choice fast.

“Split up. You go towards the camp, I go the other way.”

“Bell!”

“We don’t have time! Go! Warn them!”

She hesitantly does as told, leaving me to run the other way.

I begin running but crash down.

Something lodges into my body.

I heave out heavy breaths, catching a glimpse of the spear stuck in my stomach.

Fuck. Fuck.

He got me.

I hear him coming, grabbing at the ground to find my machete.

I try to look around through the pain. All I grab onto are thick clumps of wet dirt and branches that threaten to pierce into my hands.

I must have dropped it.

It doesn’t take him long to find me as he slows down. His rough breathing giving him away.

He smiles, twitching.

Grabbing onto the spear he shot at me, he viciously tears it out not giving a crap about me.

He climbs on top of me, aiming the spear at me again but this time in the head.

I shut my eyes.

Forgive me Clarke.

I feel the whipping of the air as the spear comes towards my head.

Something crashes near my head.

And splashes onto my face.

I open my eyes, seeing Clarke over me with my machete. Which is dripping blood.

Her face says it all.

She killed someone.

I look over beside me, seeing the headless body. The bone sticking out of the neck as the remaining blood from his body pours out back into the earth.

“Cla-”

I grab at my stomach.

“Bell. Bellamy!”

She yells, crawling down on the ground next to me.

“Bell. Stay with me. I’ll go get some supplies.”

She begins to stand up, but I grab onto her wrist knowing I won’t make it by then.

She stares at me, confused.

Shaking her head, she tries to leave again.

“Clarke.”

I make out through rough breathing.

“No. I did not stay here for you to just die. Again.”

My eyesight begins to blur but I think I see her beginning to tear up.

“I’m… sorry.”

She crumbles down next to me, placing her hands on my stomach.

She’s trying to stop the bleeding.

But she knows I’ve lost too much blood.

“Just… stay…”

I whisper.

Suddenly a cough erupts from my throat and blood comes shooting out of my mouth.

Her breathing becomes muffled as she used her sleeve to clean my mouth.

“I shouldn’t have left you. I shouldn’t have even thought about it.”

I shake my head.

I catch her eyes.

I hate putting her through this again. And for real this time.

I don’t want to leave her.

It makes me remember that dream again. How happy we seemed in a totally different way but we were still happy. As I am now. I’m glad she’s here.

Even if it will be the last time.

Especially if it is.

I can’t say anymore but I can see she sees in my eyes how I feel.

How happy I am.

I close my eyes, feeling something take over me.

Death.

**JASPER**

“Why won’t you talk to me?”

Maya asks, confronting me while I try to rest sitting on my bed.

“Talk about what? I just want to rest.”

I’m clearly annoyed and she’s just trying to get me even more agitated.

“The party. I saw how you were looking at Monty.”

I look up at this comment.

“I thought we talked about this.”

“Yeah. And I believe you when you say you feel nothing. But your friendship is coming in between us. Your always worried about him and it’s ruining things here.”

I stand up.

“So what do you want me to do? Yes I was worried about him. He was drinking a lot and I was worried.”

She stares me in the eyes.

She’s pleading me.

“I want you to choose me.”


	57. Dig Dig Dig

**CLARKE**

He breathes one last time, leaving me.

I let a tear drop, not being able to stop it.

Please let this be a nightmare.

Please.

I lean down towards his face.

Placing my lips on his cheek, I stay there for a few moments.

I move away, my lip quivering.

I can’t move. I don’t want to move. Because once I move, I will have to move on and live my life without him. Without his cheeky comments. Without his annoying smirk. Without his heart.

I can’t.

\-----------

It feels like it’s been hours but I can’t move.

His body has darkened from the light moving away.

His skin has grown cold.

The light is gone.

My light is gone.

I’m all cried out and I have no will but to stare at his dead body. I don’t have enough strength to look away but each time I see his body and realize he’s not waking up I grow weaker.

“Clarke!”

Wells.

I hold up my hand, seeing the dry blood all over it.

He can’t see this.

“Clarke I know you're out here. Monty told me. He finally got his head togeth-”

He stops, probably seeing me. We’re not far from the camp at all but I had no will power to yell for anyone. He was dying and he wanted me to stay. I couldn’t move even if I wanted to.

“Clarke?”

My face wrinkles up, hearing him step closer.

I have no more tears but I want to cry. Bell would want me to stay strong but I want to cry.

“Oh my god.”

He gets on his knees on the other side of Bellamy.

His hand grows close to Bell, but he stops a few inches away sensing how cold he is.

“He’s dead.”

I state through my rough sounding voice.

He doesn’t know how to react.

He just stares for a few seconds, not believing this is happening.

“A reaper. It was a reaper. I couldn’t save him.”

He doesn’t move.

“Wells.”

My voice stutters slightly but enough to tell.

He finally looks up at me, and I can see the shine from his eyes in the moonlight.

I look down, my heart breaking.

He shuffles over.

“It’s my fault. I should have gotten help.”

He pulls me into his chest, wrapping his arms tightly around me.

“No. Clarke. It’s not your fault.”

His voice crackles under the pressure of trying to stay strong.

“But we need to get him back to camp.”

I take a few seconds before nodding.

“I’m going to take you to your tent. And then I’ll bring Bell...Bellamy into camp. I will tell them everything. You just stay in your tent.”

I can tell he’s saddened but he’s staying strong for my benefit.

I want to tell him he can let it all out, but I don’t think I’ll be able to stop crying if he does. Bell always wanted me to be strong and how am I supposed to be strong in front of everyone when I can barely move.

“Ok.”

He stands up, gripping onto the sides of my shoulders as he helps me up.

\----------

We walk through camp, with me looking down.

Wells has and arm around me, trying to keep the attention off of me.

“Hey. Clarke. You ok?”

I hear Monty ask at the bar.

“Monty can you toss some wood in the fire.”

I wipe the moisture from under my nose as Wells gives Monty a task to distract him.

“...ok. Sure.”

I can sense the suspicion in his voice, but he goes to do what he was told.

We get to my tent before I know it.

He sets me inside on the bed.

I sit with my legs over the edge, trying to feel anything other than numb.

But then I think I don’t want to feel.

“I’ll be back. Ok? I have to go get the body. And then dig the grave.”

His voice almost sounds hollow.

I want him to stay, but I know that’s asking for too much.

So I just nod.

**WELLS**

I go back to the body, placing my hands under the legs and under his head before I pick him up.

Every fiber of my being is pulsating and telling me to break.

But I can’t give it the satisfaction.

Clarke needs me to stay strong.

I can’t even look at him as I carry him into camp. His body is slightly lighter than before. Probably from all the blood that was drained out of him. He’s not bleeding anymore, dry blood all over his clothes.

Stained to a deep brown.

I go to the middle of the camp, getting everyone’s attention as they stop what their doing.

There are whispers here and there as they gather around us.

I see Monty stop chucking logs into the fire as he rushes towards the front of the group, stopping in front of us.

“Is he ok?”

I stare at him for a moment before shaking my head.

“Bellamy Blake is…”

Something is caught in my throat as they wait for my announcement.

“He’s dead.”

Everyone’s silent for a while.

But then the whispering starts up again.

And gasps.

Monty gapes in shock, covering his mouth with his hand.

Their all taken by surprise.

Jasper comes out of his tent, everyone seeing a peek of Maya as he opens his tent door.

“Did I hear…?”

He sees the dead body and his eyes soften.

“No…”

“There will be a funeral. Tomorrow. I hope you can all make it.”

Before I can say anything else or anyone can stop me, I go to walk towards a part of the forest where I know there is an empty plot.

On my way out, I grab a shovel near the drop ship.

Keep it together.

I keep walking, not wanting to look back at any of their faces.

Not being able to.

**CLARKE**

I keep staring at the tent wall.

What else do I do?

I don’t even want to think because all I can think about is him.

His face. His stupid face. Even though I know I will never see it again.

“Clarke…”

I look up.

It’s Jasper who comes in. Monty is right behind him.

Oh no.

I need to keep it together.

“Guys. I’m fine. You don’t have to come in here.”

They get on their knees, looking up at me with pity in their eyes.

They shouldn’t be looking like that at their leader.

“We’re so sorry Clarke.”

I look away.

“Wells said the funeral will be tomorrow.”

I try to nod.

“Do you want us to stay?”

Jasper asks, knowingly.

“No.”

I try to speak up.

“You guys should get some rest. I need to get through this alone.”

They glance at each other.

“Well. I think I need some comfort. So can we stay for me?”

Monty looks up pleading.

I can’t speak anymore so I just nod.

“Here. You should get into bed.”

Jasper gestures towards Monty as they both get up. I do as told slowly laying down as if y body is brittle before switching over to my side.

They place my blanket over my shoulder as they sit back down on the ground.

I let a few seconds pass.

“Am I a terrible leader for letting you see me like this?”

They look up from the ground towards me.

“No. It makes you human. And Bellamy would want you to be able to show us how you really feel.”

For once I feel like I can smile towards them.

He would want that.

Before I can stop them, tears slowly fall from my eyes. I close them, letting them pass down my nose and cheek to fall on the bed.

I feel two sets of hands on my own and knowing it’s them comforting me I start to cry more.

I can’t believe he’s gone.

For real this time.

**WELLS**

Dig. Dig. Dig.

That’s all I should be thinking about.

So I did. 

I keep on digging.

I eye his body, growing colder by the second as I dig.

My eyes start to burn, but I keep digging.

Why did you leave so soon Bell?

You were supposed to be my buddy. We were supposed to drink together until we ended up in a coma from all the drinking we would do.

I didn’t even really start drinking more till we became friends. 

I became more of a risk taker because of you. I started doing what I wanted to do no matter what everyone else said.

Which might have been why I kept on pursuing Murphy.

Even though everyone was saying it was hopeless, I had you to cheer me on. Even though I knew you knew it was hopeless too.

You should still be here.

I shouldn’t have to be digging your grave right now.

I don’t want to.

I stop for a second, pulling my sleeve down before I wipe my eyes quickly.

I want you to be here. I want to be able to comfort Clarke because I know she’s hurting. But I don’t want to do bad by you.

You’d want us to move on.

For her to.

Feeling nauseous, I drop the shovel and crouch down. Placing my hands on the dirt, I look down into the halfway done grave.

Your actually gone.

I’m going to be putting you in this grave and your really going to be gone.

I start wiping at my eyes more.

Until I can’t when the tears start to come too fast.

I force myself to get up.

To keep digging.


	58. Funeral

**MURPHY**

I keep hearing people whispering outside.

I had finally made it into bed and I have to hear all these people around me.

Something about Bell but that’s the only thing I can hear. His name.

It’s been hours since I’ve seen Wells from this morning and I should feel good about that. Non of his nagging for me to get better when I don’t even want to try anymore.

I think it would just be best for everyone if I push him away and die.

That’s what they’ve all wanted for a long time now.

Even Wells wants it. He just doesn’t want to admit it. Because he’s too much of a good person.

Complimenting him?

No.

Because being good in this world is a weakness.

The sheet to my room opens.

It could only be one person.

The only person who would ever visit me.

Wells.

I have a whole thing ready about how I want to be left alone but I shut up at the sight of his dirty body. His face has dirt on it also but there are streaks clear that show he’s been crying.

I can see it in his eyes.

How red they are. How much in pain they are.

“Bellamy is dead.”

I stare at him.

I guess I was expecting this. Something so bad must have happened for Bell to be the talk of the camp.

“I don’t care.”

It just comes out, but I can’t take it back.

“I know you supposedly don’t care. But he would have wanted you at the funeral. No matter how much you hated him. Or he hated you.”

I stay silent.

We just stare at each other.

“If you have a heart at all. You’ll come. I’ll even help you.”

There he goes again. Helping people.

When it’s obvious he’s in pain he still tries to help people.

I look away.

“Why did I even try?”

He leaves, the remnant of his sadness leaving with him.

Replaced with anger.

\--------

I stay in bed for the remainder of the night, not being able to leave anyways.

But then when I hear everyone has went to bed. I slowly place my legs over the beds edge.

I wince, the bandages doing nothing against the pain.

I take a deep breath once I’m almost up.

Ok. One. Two.

I trick myself standing up. Pain courses through my veins. 

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Those words repeat in my head every step I make to go outside.

Once I’m out, I look up at the dark sky.

Almost black.

The only lights are from the torches at each end of the camp.

There’s no one outside except me as I make my way over to the bar.

I can’t say I would be doing this for no reason. Although some moonshine does sound good for these wounds.

I sit down at the bar as I make it, grabbing a half filled bottle from the counter and pouring it into a nearby cup.

I guess it’s good my feet hurt worse than my wrists.

I put the bottle down, picking up the cup.

He used to be such an ass. Which made it easy to like him.

I start to remember the times when we used to drink the nights away. Partying until the morning and even some more then. He wasn’t so weak to the princess’s power yet.

We even planned to overthrow her at some point.

How things have changed.

I’m a cripple who has to throw his sorrows into a cup and Bell is dead.

Dead.

That’s never felt like such a terrible word before tonight.

He was at least happy before he died. I can’t say the same will be for me. More like i’ll be happy once I die.

“I release you from my hate.”

I hold up my drink.

“Not that you cared.”

I go to drink a sip but keep it up as I look up at the sky.

“And even though I didn’t want to admit it…”

I take a breath, slightly annoyed.

“...you were a good leader.”

I finally take a sip of the cooling moonshine.

\-------

“What are you doing up?”

I look up, half buzzed as I see Wells.

“Oh. It’s you. I’m just living life.”

I send my hands up, almost dropping my drink.

He comes closer, putting down the shovel as he takes a seat.

He pours himself a drink.

I lift up my drink again towards the sky.

He eyes me weirdly.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m drunk. I won’t be this nice again. Come on.”

He sighs, lifting up his drink.

“To the best goddamn leader we could have hoped for....other than Atom.”

This time he glares.

“Kidding. Kidding. Can’t you take a joke?”

He looks away.

“Not tonight.”

The area grows silent as the crickets chirp.

It almost feels like a comfortable silence as we drink.

No one saying a word.

Which actually says a lot.

\-------

I shuffle around.

Noticing the fabric around me, I open my eyes to see that I’m in bed.

How did I get into bed?

Did he fucking carry me?

Agh.

Should have left me at the bar.

I notice the light shining in through the almost shut door.

Ah. Right.

The funeral.

‘If you have a heart, you’ll go.’

His words echo in my head.

Well good I don’t have a heart.

I shove my head back into my pillow.

**WELLS**

“How did she do last night?”

Jasper and Monty look up at me with an obvious solemn look.

“To be expected. Terrible.”

Monty comes out with.

“Do you think she’ll be fine to go to the funeral?”

They look at each other.

“I’m fine.”

She comes out of the tent, interrupting their thinking.

“I don’t need you guys going soft on me. I need to do this.”

Her clothes are ruffled. Her eyes are slightly puffy from crying all night. But she has a strange determination.

“Are you sure?”

She walks closer.

I just want what’s best for her.

“I’m sure Wells. I need to go.”

I stare into her eyes.

“Ok. Everyone’s waiting.”

\---------

We walk to the site where I spent all night burying Bell’s body.

The area is still wet with fresh soil. 

The whole group is gathered around the former hole which now holds their leader. Former leader.

I search around.

Except one person.

Murphy.

I shake my head.

I should have known he wouldn’t come.

I shouldn’t have had so much hope in him. Even after last night’s personal memorial.

He could get up. This was important and I knew he could get up if he really wanted to. If he had really cared.

But he didn’t.

“Does anyone want to say some words?”

I ask the group as they fidget.

Clarke stands in the front. Monty and Jasper comfort her by placing their hands on her shoulder. Finn stands close to her trying to give support also.

There are people hugging in the crowd.

It’s obvious everyone cared about him. After all he’s done. After how many times he saved everyone.

Jasper comes up.

I give the floor to him.

“Bellamy wasn’t a normal leader. He put people first before himself. He always made sure to put us first. He even put Clarke first before his safety. That was how he died.”

He stops for a moment looking to Clarke as she tries to stay strong.

“It is a tremendous loss. Losing someone this important. And I don’t know how we’ll get through it. But we always end up coming together in the end.”

\--------

“Bellamy used to annoy me with how much he slept with girls and everything about him. Honestly I don’t know how I became friends with him. It kind of just happened.”

I say.

“But I would never take it back. Because that one day I decided to drink. I gained a new best friend that I will never forget. Bellamy will always be with us. Especially when we have a drink in out hands. Or bring a girl to our tent.”

Some people laugh to fill the air. 

Clarke even lets out a sad knowing smile.

\--------

“He will always be in our hearts. He got on my nerves a lot of the time but he was a great leader that tried his best. Alongside Clarke. Who will miss him as much as us. Most likely even more.”

Monty smiles towards his speech.

\--------

It was time for Clarke. 

She slowly made her way up to the front, standing up as straight as she could.

She looks out at everyone.

“Bellamy was my heart. He made everything better when it didn’t seem like it could be made better. Don’t get me wrong he annoyed me half the time and he was a pain in the ass when we first met. But…”

She looks down at the grave.

“He made me stronger in a way I couldn’t believe. It seems like my heart has been torn out and stopped on multiple times. But from the memories he gave me. And my friends.”

She looks at us.

“Who have supported me through this hard time. I think I’ll be ok. Because Bellamy wouldn’t want me to be sad. He wouldn’t want me to mourn him day to day. He would want me to be the leader he knew I could be. And to drink a lot. Because we don’t mourn his loss.”

She smiles, obviously still sad but keeping up a good face.

She was made to be a leader.

“We celebrate his life.”

There are claps throughout the crowd which makes us smile.

But I still can’t help but think about tomorrow.

Or the next day.

We might be able to get through tonight.

But what if we break apart after that?

**MURPHY**

I lean against a faraway tree, watching the funeral.

I hate that I felt like I needed to come.

At least no one will know I’m here.

Except Monty who somehow saw me. Looking at me like he was seeing a ghost. But he didn’t end up telling anyone which I was thankful for.

I can feel the sadness from here.

It makes me remember Atoms funeral. How no one was there. Except Bell. And that’s all who needed to be there.

He made it slightly easier to get through the death of my mentor.

Another reason to miss him.

Clarke hates me with all her guts. But Bell at least tried to see the good in me at times. I guess I ruined that in the end.

Which was the plan.

I’ll end up leaving this world like Atom did.

With no one missing me. With no broken hearts or tears. Just hatred and celebration.

I guess that’s one thing I have to look forward to.

I look down.

**JASPER**

After the funeral, I saw Maya head straight back to our tent.

I didn’t go after her as I tried to be there for Monty but after our talk last night I ended up going back only a few moment later.

“Maya.”

She stops packing for a second. Before stuffing one of her shirts she brought from Mount Weather back into her bag.

“I know I messed up. I didn’t want to let Monty go. We’ve been best friends forever. You have to understand.”

She keeps packing.

“But after losing Bell like that. I can’t lose anymore people. Including you.”

She finally stops.

“I want us to be together.”

She turns around, somewhat surprised by the statement.

“Really?

She asks.

“I’ve never been in a relationship before. But I want to try to make it work.”

She smiles, running up to hug me.

I wrap my arms around her tightly.

She moves away a little bit to peck me on the lips. I don’t move away but I don’t move forward either.

I need to get used to this.

And I need to get used to the fact that me and Monty aren’t going to be as close as we were before. 

But I know he’ll understand.

I just don’t know if I will.

=One Week Later=

**BELLAMY**

There are whispers around me.

It’s hard to sleep.

“Is he ready?”

“He is.”


	59. Decisions

**CLARKE**

I get some wood from the forest, making sure to stay away from the plot of land that he was buried in.

The part of the forest that’s been haunting me for these past few weeks.

Wells keeps telling me I need to get closure. That I need to visit. But he doesn’t know what he’s talking about.

What I need to do is work.

\-------

The council has invited me and Wells to their tent. 

As if their the leaders.

“We were going to tell you when you got back from Mount Weather but then Bellamy died and it didn’t seem appropriate.”

Jaha begins as my mom stands behind him.

Just like on the Ark.

“What are you saying?”

I ask, clear this isn’t some family gathering.

“Your group needs to go. You guys can stay but the rest of those prisoners need to leave or we’re going to kick them out forcefully.”

My eyebrows furrow.

“Force them out? That group is the camp. You can’t just kick them out because you don’t like what their pasts were.”

“We can and we will.”

I can see that he doesn’t feel guilty about this decision he’s made without us. He has the same face he had on the Ark. The one full of power. 

He won’t take our power.

“Dad. This isn’t right. They’ve proven themselves over and over again. They don’t deserve to be kicked out of their own camp.”

Wells tries to probe further but Jaha puts his hand down on the table.

“The decision is final. This is our camp. Not theirs. They will only bring us down and I cannot put my own group at risk.”

I stand back.

“And their our group. We can’t put them at risk.”

My mom stares at me intently, trying to tell me something.

To back down.

I shake my head.

“Bellamy knew it was coming to this. I told him. He decided not to do anything about it so I will. They will be out in the next few days. Or we’ll have to kill them in their sleep.”

I widen my eyes in horror.

Bellamy knew about this?

Kill in sleep?

I leave the tent without another word.

This is getting out of hand. Who do they think they are down here?

“Clarke.”

Wells comes out after me and I turn around.

“What are we going to do Wells? Bellamy knew and he didn’t tell us. Prepare us.”

I feel slight anger towards Bell, even if I don’t want to.

“He might have known but you know Bellamy. He was most likely doing it so you wouldn’t worry. He was probably as stumped as you.”

My anger relieves a little bit.

“But what do we do? Their going to kill them. In their sleep if we don’t figure out something in a few days.”

His eyes soften.

“I don’t know Clarke. I thought I knew him well now. I thought he was better than this.”

I shake my head.

“It’s not your fault Wells.”

I take a few seconds.

“I’m going to go take a walk. Get some ideas if I can.”

He nods.

“I’ll go back in there and try to get him to change his mind.”

I turn around, walking towards the woods.

But stop when I realize I’m going the wrong way.

Towards the haunted forest.

I stare at the darkened plot under the trees.

======

“Clarke you need closure. You need to go see him.”

I try to walk away but Wells grabs onto my wrist.

“You’ve been working yourself to the bone. You need to stop this. You know your only distracting yourself from the inevita-.”

“WELLS!”

I finally yell out.

I’m on the verge of tears.

“I can’t. Please understand that I can’t.”

I pull myself out of his hold and walk away.

======

I push myself to keep walking forwards.

The ultimate test.

The one thing to prove I’m as strong as Bell wanted me to be.

**MURPHY**

I can hear yelling from the tent next to me.

But then I hear the flapping of the main tent’s door and the hard footsteps of someone as they head off somewhere else.

Sounds like someones having issues.

Soon someone’s at my door and he comes in without a knock.

Not that he could knock on a sheet.

“Could be polite. And tell me your coming in.”

He sits down, opening his med kit.

“I cannot deal with you right now Murphy. Just be quiet.”

I look away as he starts to unwrap my arms bandage.

It’s been getting better by each day and I can walk a little better I just choose not to.

This is how it’s been for weeks. Wells being mad at me ever since he thought I didn’t go to the funeral. Coming in. Doing his job and then leaving without coming back ever in the same day.

I guess I put this on myself when I chose not to tell him I went.

This is what I wanted.

No. What I wanted was for him to ignore me all together and let me get infected and die.

So I have to bring out the big guns.

He’s already on the edge so it won't be so hard.

He actually looks angrier than ever before.

“Someone kill your princess?”

“Murphy.”

He warns me, not catching my eyes as he rewraps the arm.

“Well whatever's got you angry. It can’t be as bad as my problem.”

He shakes his head, close to blowing.

“Your problems are nothing compared to mine.”

“Can you ever just not be selfish?!”

He stands up, hovering over my bed like the devil.

“Nope.”

I stay strong to my mission.

He doesn’t take another second before grabbing his supplies and walking out.

“I’m done. I’m just done.”

Mission successful. 

He’ll be leaving me alone now.

I’ll get an infection most likely. Earn a fever. Painfully wither away.

And then finally die.

**MONTY**

“Here. Give him back by tomorrow.”

I hand Mothra’s cage over to Jasper who’s been avoiding contact for weeks now.

All we see each other is with Mothra.

But that was his choice.

=======

It’s been a week since Bellamy has been dead.

It’s been harder than ever. Clarke is ignoring her feelings and working to her core. Jasper is hanging out with Maya more and working on their relationship. Wells is dealing with it the best he can. By drinking.

And I’m serving said drinks.

At least then when he gets drunk I can swap his drinks with water so he doesn’t have a massive hangover the next day.

Working at this bar has made me talk to a lot of people. Gotten me out of my comfort zone. And I know mostly the whole group now. Especially how they are when their drunk.

Jasper sits down at the bar.

“Hey.”

I start cleaning a used cup with my rag.

“Hey. Need something?”

He looks away, obviously ready to talk about us.

“Actually. I need to talk to you.”

I already know what he’s going to say. He needs to be with Maya and our friendship can’t stand in the way of their relationship. I’ve been playing out how the conversation would go for the past few days.

I needed to prepare so that I wouldn’t be totally wrecked.

“I know. We need to distance ourselves. I already know.”

“Monty…”

“Jasper. I know. I get it.”

I don’t look at him.

“Maybe it will be best for both of us. We’ve been by each other's side for so long now. Maybe we can be our own people now.”

I sigh, putting the cup down.

“Yeah. Maybe.”

I try to smile to make it easier for him.

========

“Monty. Are you ok?”

He finally asks. I shake my head.

“No. We lost Bellamy. And then I lost another best friend. I’m not ok. But you don’t have to care about that anymore.”

I make sure he has Mothra steady and I go to walk away.

“I didn’t say we couldn’t be friends anymore. I just said we needed more distance Monty.”

He has a tough stance in his tone.

I turn my head slightly.

“Distance. Yeah. Well distance to her is far away from each other forever. You made the decision to choose her so respect my decision to stay away from you.”

I walk away, not looking at him again.

**CLARKE**

I slowly walk closer to the grave.

There’s withering flowers around the site and then some grass growing over the softish dirt.

My heart begins to ache as I stand before his dead body. At least where his body is laying.

I make my way down to my knees, feeling weaker.

I wanted to be strong. But being here now. Isn’t as easy as I thought it would be.

“Hey Bellamy.”

I whisper, sounding crazy.

I’m talking to a dead person.

But it hurts not having him to talk to anymore.

This is the closest I can get.

“So. I know I haven’t been here a while. Ever really. But I have some updates for you.”

I sniffle, wiping at my nose.

“Jasper is making it work with Maya like you wanted. They seem to be doing well. But Monty and him aren’t really speaking. That brings me to another revelation. Monty has been hunting with us lately.”

I smile almost laughing.

“You probably think that’s crazy. And he’s so skinny. But he’s actually a pro at the spear. Took only a few training sessions before he was throwing that thing right on target. To be honest, I’m glad he got out of his comfort zone. I guess being away from Jasper has made him walk into his own shoes.”

My smile fades, as I touch the dirt.

“But there’s some bad news too. The council is kicking us out.”

I take a deep breath.

“You supposedly knew about that and I was mad at first but I know you were protecting me. And Jaha. Because I would have killed him.”

I chuckle, quickly coming back to my sadness.

“I shouldn’t really say they're kicking us out. More like the other prisoners. But that doesn’t change the fact that it’s wrong. I keep bouncing back and forth between ideas. One side of me it telling me to overthrow Jaha with the risk of Wells hating me. Or…”

I take a flower.

“Or to just leave. With the risk of Wells staying here and never seeing him again. I want to think Wells will stick by my side. But it’s his dad. I can’t ask him to do that.”

Staring at the brownish purple flower, I twirl it in my fingers.

“So which side is you?”

I put the flower down, sighing again.

“It’s hopeless isn’t it? I want to believe everything will turn out ok. But it won’t. I need to do something. Bell I used to have no family down here. When my mom came down she was my biological family. But this group. Everyone here. No matter the personality. Their…”

I look up, finally realizing.

“Their my family. My real family.”

I stand up, dusting off my pants.

“Just as you were.”

I smile.

“I need to go Bell.”


	60. Final Decision

**WELLS**

Monty gives me another drink.

I chug it down within seconds.

“How are you and Jasper?”

He sighs sadly, wiping down the counter. He’s really gotten into the role of bartender. Along with talking to his customers about their problems.

Which could be really weird problems I heard.

There was a book I read on the Ark. A bartender from earth had wrote it. Telling all the stories about his adventures of talking with customers.

But I stopped reading when it got to the point one of the customers had admitted to sleeping with his sister.

“I thought it would be easy to be harsh towards him. Push him towards Maya and away from me. Make their relationship happier.”

I scoff.

“I still think it’s stupid that their relationship will only work if you guys are apart. Is that even a relationship by that point?”

He shrugs.

“It seems to be working though.”

I stare at him as he avoids eye contact and stares at the counter.

“Not for you though.”

He finally catches my eyes, as I have hit the jackpot.

“He was my best friend. I can’t just forget about him. Now all I have to talk to about my problems is you and Mothra. And one of them isn’t human.”

I smirk.

“But you don’t need to be human to be a great listener.”

I hold my drink up for him, before taking a sip.

I achem once I pull my drink down.

“I hear you’ve been doing well on the hunting trips. Must get some anger out on those animals.”

He smiles.

“Yeah. It’s been pretty fun. But I still need to get used to skinning the animal. Just seems so brutal.”

“Gotta have food Monty.”

“Yeah I know.”

“You’ve become stronger though. I’m proud of you. Bellamy would be too.”

He looks up again. It’s the first time I’ve really talked about him since the funeral. We all go to visit regularly. Everyone but Clarke, but it doesn’t make it easier to talk about him.

“You really think so?”

I nod.

“I really do. He was easy to impress.”

Monty laughs.

“Yeah right.”

I smile, happy that he’s finally able to laugh since Bellamy. And then Jasper. It’s been a hard time for him just as much as us.

I don’t know how we get through the day. But we do. Because we have to. Not only for Bellamy but also for ourselves.

“How’s Murphy?”

I place my drink harder down than I should.

“Woah. Woah. Calm down we don’t have a ton of glass cups anymore.” 

“Sorry. Just…”

“Is it really that bad?”

I sigh, knowing he has no idea what kind of question that is. Is it bad? It’s more than bad. It’s so terrible I don’t even know where my morals end or start.

“I don’t want to deal with him anymore.”

I stare into my drink, knowing I was supposed to forget about my struggles when I started chugging this. But it just made me end up with more.

“I know I said I hated him. And I do…”. I look up slightly, as Monty grabs a cup and pours himself a drink. “And I can’t believe I’m saying this. But he was becoming more tolerable because of you. And you just going to give up on him?”

I let the silence absorb us for a few moments. If I say anything right away I’ll just end up blowing. Not only do I have to deal with him. But I have to deal with the council who want nothing to do with any of our real group. No matter how important they are to me.

“You don’t get it Monty. For a while I thought he deserved it. I thought there was at least a tiny shred of hope.” I show how small of a hope with my fingers. “But I just realized time and time again that there was no hope. And how much of an ass he truly was. And that he didn’t deserve me trying.”

I take a breath.

“And no matter how many good things he does, it’s not enough. All the bad things he’s done outweigh the good. And then he just adds more bad onto the pile.”

I feel more weight than I have in a while. Everything is out in the open and I don’t know if I can truly deal with it.

Not only did we lose Bellamy. But I lost my faith. My hope. 

And then our home.

“I stayed to heal him. Because that’s my job as a doctor. Or a training doctor. But now I just want him out of my life. I don’t want him in my life at all anymore.”

I look up again, hoping not to see the sympath in Monty’s eyes. But I do.

“He’s so selfish Monty. So selfish. And my morals fly out of the window when I think about him.”

I catch myself finally.

“Sorry. I just went on a whole monologue there. Didn’t mean to put that all on you.”

“Wells.”

I stare at him.

“That’s my job as the bartender.”

I smile, almost laughing.

“Maybe I was just imagining things. Maybe when I thought he was getting better I was just telling myself things. I mean I haven’t even interacted with him since before Mount Weather. And even then.”

I nod, understanding.

“Your lucky then.”

He smiles.

“I just need time.”

I hold up my drink, ready to say a toast.

Monty hesitantly brings his cup up.

“To a happier future.”

**JASPER**

I stare at Mothra as the light outside begins to dim just as my whole happiness facade does too.

I pluck at the wooden sticks keeping him confined in his home. He seems happier when he’s with both of us. No matter what I try to do he just crawls into a corner when he’s alone with me.

I get how he’s feeling.

With Monty practically ignoring me, I don’t know what to do with myself.

I try to tell myself I'm happy and this is for the better. I even try in my relationship more than I ever have before. But… something is nagging at my insides.

Telling me go for something that I don’t quite understand.

I eye Maya asleep in the bed next to my chair that I’m sitting in.

She’s asleep as if put under a spell.

I want to be happy. Especially since she’s been so ecstatic.

But something’s stopping me.

Maybe it’s the fact that my friendship is falling apart. Maybe it’s the fact that Mothra barely eats anymore. Or maybe it’s the fact that I can’t go farther with Maya than I already have. Which is kissing.

I want to.

Trust me I do.

Every piece of my body does.

But my mind is stopping anything from happening and I can’t override it.

I want to give her everything.

But how can that work… when I can’t even give her my heart fully?

And how can I give her my heart fully…

...when I don’t even understand why I can’t give it to her?

I look back to Mothra.

“Tell me what to do.”

**MONTY**

Once I’m on my own, I start to stare up at the sky.

Wells had to leave since Clarke needed to talk to him urgently. And I don’t know what’s been going on but I know it’s something big.

And then the problem between me and Jasper has escalated to the point of me running away as soon I see him anywhere near me. Something feels off about him lately but he said he wanted this.

So I shouldn’t have to worry about him anymore.

Then why do I want to so badly?

I start to rub my hands into my eyes.

Everything’s been so damn complicated lately.

**CLARKE**

Wells looks away, guilty.

“He said he wouldn’t budge. No matter what I said. And I thought he had changed I really did.”

I grab onto his arm, comforting him.

“It’s not your fault. But we need to go.”

“What?”

He catches my eyes, widening his with surprise.

“We need to go. With or without you because either way we’re done here. And fighting won’t get us out of this. Our group shouldn’t have to die to make a point to the council.”

He stares for a long moment, but then smiles.

“Your really stepping into the leader role.”

I’m a bit taken aback. No matter what I was already the leader. I just needed some imagination pep talk from my dead co leader to get me to stand up again.

And him not being here is a terrible feeling. But I can’t stay in my pity bubble forever. And I won’t let my group die because I’m sad.

“I’m in.”

Through my distraction of thoughts, I don’t have time to prepare for what I’m hearing.

“Are you sure? He’s your family.”

“No. Your my family. Everyone here is my family. Well everyone except Murphy.”

I see that even if he doesn’t want to talk about it, he’s going through a tough time with Murphy. And I really don’t want anything to do with Murphy but I can’t just get rid of him.

“More like that uncle that you hate for no damn reason.”

“Oh there’s a reason for him.”

“But as I was saying. This group has been there for me through everything and I’m not just going to abandon them. Or you.”

I smile, finally feeling for once that we’re gonna make it through this.

Because I have my brother by my side. 

“Then we need to tell everyone and fast.”

\---------

We quickly spread the word for a meeting, making sure to keep the council away and to only have our people.

Once their gathered, I stare at each of their faces and finally see how small we’ve become. When we were merged with the Arks people it was hard to see. But now I do.

And I will protect them at all costs to make sure we don’t lose any more people.

Bellamy would want that. And I want that. 

I haven’t gathered everyone since Bellamy and I think everyone is surprised I even gathered them again.

“You may think this is your home. We were fooled in thinking it was. But something has happened. The council has informed us…” I hesitate for a second, seeing their faces become worried. “It doesn’t matter what the council told us. What matters is we need to go for us. This place has too many memories and we need to separate from the Ark.”

Speeches were always better from Bellamy. So I have to take a page out of his book.

“We were once our own people. Then we got roped into becoming something we weren’t. Servants to the councils order. We need to become our people again and find somewhere that we can be free.”

Whispers start to gather around the group. Monty stays to the end of the crowd, glancing over at Jasper who has his arm around Maya and is smiling as he speaks to her.

“We need to be us again.”

Monty looks over at me this time and smiles.

“So who’s with me?!”

It’s silent for a while.

But then.

“I am!” 

Monty shoots his hand up. Jasper does almost in unison and they finally catch each others eyes. There’s some awkwardness but somehow also some relief.

Maya does for Jasper.

And then the arms start shooting up more and more. 

I glance to my side, almost bringing my hand up for a high five. I stop short when I remember that Bellamy isn’t there to congratulate me.

My chest tightens as I pull my hand down.

Wells runs into my view, smiling to his hearts content.

I smile for him, but I still feel empty inside. Because something is missing. And I can never get it back.

I look out at my family. 

But I have them.

And that’s all I need.


	61. A Journey to Mystery

**JASPER**

The group starts to dissipate when Clarke tells us when we’re leaving and at what time. In a day or two and we need to gather as many supplies as we can. Food. Water. Wood for a fire.

Anything and everything because she has no idea how long we will be on the road.

“I’ll see you back at the tent.”

Maya glance back at me intently, but doesn’t push as she continues on.

I turn around to see Monty walking towards me. He shifts off to the side when he sees me in the way and I decide to sign him a few words.

From when we learned sign language together.

Please remember.

I sign that I want to talk. He stares for a moment and then sighs.

He signs back fine.

I head towards the drop ship.

\--------

I decide to go up to the top of the ship, with him slowly following behind me.

Once we’re up to the floor, the silence finally ensues. He stares at me, not knowing what to say. Waiting for me to speak up.

“I hate this.” I finally speak up. “Having you hate me, It’s killing me.”

“I don’t hate you.”

He catches my eyes.

“But you hate what I decided.”

He looks back down at my statement.

“I do too.”

“Then why did you decide it?”

His voice is full of confusion. Maybe even a little bit of resentment. I don’t even know the answer to the question fully. But I do know that it’s not as simple as it should be. 

I don’t speak up so he does.

“I’m only staying away so that you can be happy with her. But.” He stops for a moment, taking a deep breath. It seems slightly shaky. “It’s harder than anything not to run up to you everyday and tell you about my day. To hug you. To ask you about yours. But I don’t because then I’ll look stupid. Because that’s not what you want.”

“No.”

I grab onto his wrist, catching his attention and sending his eyes up towards me.

“I do want that Monty. I do. More than anything.”. I catch how his eyes are full of hope. But then flicker to hopeless. “ But I feel like I’m stuck in a corner. I have a girlfriend who wants me to be full committed to her. And not to my friendship with you. And then I have you.”

I keep going.

“Wanting me to be happy so you think you have to push me away. And the even suckier thing is nobody wants to know what I want.”

“Because you never made it clear.”

I stand up straighter, moving slightly closer.

“Well I will now. I want you.”

He widens his eyes slightly.

“I want to be able to talk to you without hiding.”. I send one of my arms shooting up to gesture around the empty room. “I want Mothra to be able to have both of his parents. I want to be able to love Maya with all my heart. I want to be how it was before.”

Monty shakes his head.

“It’s more complicated than that.”

“Yeah… just-”

“Jasper I can’t do this.”

He breaks out of my grip and moves further away.

“I just can’t. I thought I could possibly be your friend as you were with her. And I even thought about hiding our friendship just so this could happen. But I’ve learned I don’t deserve that.” He stares intently into my eyes. “You don’t either.”

“I don’t want this to end.”

“But you also don’t want your relationship with Maya to end. So I need to make a decision for both of us so that you don’t have to. Because this is breaking me apart.”. He walks a bit closer. “The hope needs to be snuffed out because this is hurting me more than anything.”

He tries not to look into my eyes.

“So goodbye Jasper.”

He wraps his arms around my neck, tightening for a few moments. I don’t want to let go of this chance and so I reciprocate by sending my arms around his waist.

I close my eyes, trying to get his whole being permanently etched into my mind. How skinny yet muscular his body is. How he smells so much of soap. Even after he hasn’t bathed in days. How I can wrap my arms fully around his body.

I don’t want to let go.

But he slithers out of my hold.

“Bye.”

He sends me one last mournful look as he can barely get any words out and leaves. I stand still, not believing that this could be happening.

How could this be happening?

Why did I let this happen?

I feel weak in my legs, causing me to fall into one of the chairs. 

I remember when we were here last. When we landed here long ago and I was still best friends with Monty. When we thought we would never separate and finally we could be together forever down here. 

I miss those times.

Something slides down my cheek as I slouch forward.

I don’t want to live without my best friend.

**WELLS**

I lost the bet. 

I enter Murphy’s tent having lost the game between me and Clarke on who would tell him about us leaving. I know she wants nothing to do with him, but I really don’t want to see him right now.

But I also haven’t told her about my problem with him.

I just know about her problem with him and I don’t want to burden her with it.

It’s nothing compared to what she’s going through right now.

As soon as I enter, his eyes dart to mine. It’s growing dark and you can never be too careful as to who will enter your tent.

“What are you doing here?”

He almost groans.

“I just came to tell you that we’re leaving in a day or two. The council is kicking us out and we’re gather supplies.”

He squints his eyes.

“Why should I care?”

“...Because your going.”

I say matter of factly.

“No I’m not.”

He almost seems too sure of himself.

I can barely believe that he’s fighting me on living or dying.

Oh wait. Yes I can.

“Murphy. I know things have been hard and even I blew up at you. But you can’t stay here anymore. You’ll die. Or get kicked out and die.”

“I know. That’s exactly what I’m going to do and you can’t stop me.”

I walk closer to his bed.

“You would leave your group because your too damn stubborn to realize your not the strong dictator you were before?”

“They stopped being my group when they hung me.”

“Which was a mistake.”

“That’s your opinion.”

I shake my head.

“Do you think Atom would want this for you?”

I don’t even know why I’m trying with him. But I just can’t stop trying.

“Atom would want me to kill everyone here. And not that it’s any of your business but I know he may not like it. Atom dying was the sign I needed to give up.”

I stare at him, his eyes centered on mine as he doesn’t give up. He wants this. I can see that well. And I can’t believe I’m willing to let him have it.

But… 

“Fine. Leave the group. Do what you want Murphy.”

I leave the tent, finally done with all his crap.

Finally free.

\------

The next day I start to walk through the camp, over towards the woods. I catch sight of our group members sneaking food for their backpacks and some other supplies as they prepare for tomorrow.

Our deadline.

My eyes suddenly stop on a tent. Murphy’s tent. When I saw him yesterday, he looked like he had started sweating. Which meant the infection from not changing his bandage was starting to set in. 

I shake my head, moving on as I don’t have to care about that selfish ass anymore.

If he wants to doom himself he can do just that.

\-------

I start kicking every branch that’s in my way as I wander the outskirts of the forest.

I stop as I see a familiar log on a patch of grass that seems to be growing greener by the second as it glimmers in the sunlight.

Why do I know this log?

I hear slight noises and listen further. I can tell it’s chirping.

I start walking closer to the noise and then faster as I realize what it is. 

I halt when I see the handmade birds nest on the lowest tree branch. A smile rises to my lips as I catch the sight of the bird that seems to have grown a bit since the last time I saw it.

“You must be hungry. I bet no ones fed you in a whi-”

I look inside the nest to see the bird chipping at pieces of meat. A brownish meat that has been cut up by someone with a knife. The same meat that we had last night.

“But how-?”

I look off to camp not so far away and then back at the bird as it finally notices me and jumps happily. I move my finger to pet him slightly as I let the confusion get the best of me.

Did he? But he couldn’t have. 

But if he did.

Especially with such a fever coming on.

No. No he couldn’t have.

The bird must have snatched it up.

I see that the splint has been removed and lays to the side of the bird and yet it stays here. As if this is it’s home. As if something is keeping him here.

Or someone.

I stare at the meat, still letting my mind roam to outrageous thoughts.

I catch sight of something from below me and crouch down to move closer towards it. There’s something stuck in one of the trees thorns. I inch my hand closer, tearing the tiny piece of brown from the thorn and bring it closer to my face.

Bandage.

It’s a bandage.

**CLARKE**

“Clarke.”

I can tell from the authority in the voice who it is. Or maybe I could tell from the terrible smell of fire she has burning off her. From hell.

“Yes? Mother. Or should I even call you that?”

I keep on packing my useless items. A shirt here and there. I eye the bag that contains Bellamy’s items. The items that Wells cleared out of his tent for me.

I haven’t had the heart to even touch it.

“I know what you're planning.”

“And what would that be?”

She grabs my arm, stopping me from further packing.

“I see everyone racing to grab items. And how they're barely doing their jobs anymore. I see how you're packing and so is Wells. You can’t leave. We let you stay.”

I pull her hand off of me, turning around to face her finally.

I have been waiting for the day to stand up to her.

“I don’t care if you let me stay. You didn’t let my family stay and that’s why we’re leaving. And nothing will stop us. Because as long as we’re together we can get through anything.”

“Is that what you think? You’d be dead without these walls.”

She has a cocky grin on her face, like she’s invincible.

I scoff, straightening up.

“No. That would be you. We are the ones who will make it out of this.”

I zip up my bag and throw it onto my bed.

“This is stupid. Just stay. We were just getting along.”

“No. That was your imagination. I thought maybe I could let you have another chance. But I was stupid to think that. You're still just Jaha’s lapdog.”

I take her moment of silence to leave the tent.

**WELLS**

I pour the drink this time as Monty sits on the other side with a broken heart face. I can see that all his light has dimmed and he’s not doing so well anymore.

He was fine before his talk with Jasper. At least as fine as he could be in this solution. NOw he's the wreck.

I push the drink further to him.

“I’m sorry about Jasper. But I think you did the right thing. Now you can try to move on.”

Monty tries to smile, but it just comes out even more sad.

“Let’s not talk about Jasper. I see your face. What’s going on with Murphy?”

I widen my eyes in surprise slightly.

“How did-”

“It’s written all over your face. You get that weird hopeless look when it’s about Murphy.”

I sigh, slouching over the counter.

“I found out something. Something about Murphy.”

“That’s never good.”

“No. But the surprising thing is this time it was good. It was really good. But I’m being sent for a total whorl right now. Should I try with Murphy or just give up?”

Monty clicks his fingers against his drink for a second, thinking before looking up.

“Well you did say once that he wanted to die. Maybe that’s what’s motivating him to be harder than usual.”

I look off towards the forest, completely confused.

“I had forgotten about that. Maybe that’s why he didn’t even bother going to Bellamy’s funeral. Because he knew I would kill him if he hadn’t.”

Well that would make sense. But then I would have had to care about him enough. Which I don’t at all.

“But he was at the funeral.”

I look at Monty again, waiting for him to continue.

“I thought you would know. I didn’t know it was a secret. He was creeping in the forest but he was there.”

My eyes wander down the the oak counter.

“I did not know that.”

“I have to go pack. But before I go.”

I look up again.

Monty has a smile on his face.

“Not that I’m saying it’s a good thing. But I think you do care about Murphy in some way. And you keep saying you don’t at all and you just want to keep him alive for the camp and because your a doctor but we both know that’s bullcrap.”

I try to insert myself in to object but he holds a hand up.

“You need to listen. You do care about people a lot. But if you really hated Murphy you wouldn’t have been talking about him for a month of moonshine.” He almost seems to laugh. “But don’t worry. I won’t tell anyone. And if it makes you feel better than keep telling yourself you hate his guts. But I just thought you should know my side of things.”

He gets up, patting down his seat.

“I think you could honestly have a fine friendship. You two would balance each other out and maybe you could make Murphy less of an asshole. But then again maybe I’m just seeing things.”

He keeps on walking, sending a wave.

I stand, bewildered.

I don’t care about Murphy. What?

That’s too crazy to even think about. He’s not worth my time. I just need to keep him alive because that’s my job as the carer of the group.

That’s all.

Monty is just seeing things.


	62. The Journal

**CLARKE**

I sit in my tent, staring at the backpack that holds Bellamy’s things at the opposite side of me. I’ve been doing this the whole month. I thought if I just kept it there I would forget about it.

But it almost seems to be haunting me.

Just like that damn forest did.

The only thing that got me through that was conquering it.

I stand up, walking over to the backpack as it whispers for me to pick it up. So I do. As my fingers grab onto it’s cold arms it’s as if I am seeing it for the first time. For what it is.

A way into my past with Bellamy.

I pick it up and bring it over to the bed, slowly unzipping it.

The first thing I pull out is a shirt. But not just a shirt. His shirt.

I bring it up to my face, closing my eyes as I take in the smell. The smell I have longed for a long time now. The smell that I thought I would never be able to smell again.

It smells like the earth.

But a pure form of the earth.

Bellamy was never pure in the way he acted. But he was pure in the reasons for how he acted. He hurt people to protect the people he loved. He stood up for what was right. And he was there when you needed him in a way no one else could be.

He was like the grandfather of this group being that he was older than us. Or maybe a brother? 

But for some reason he never seemed older. Which is a compliment.

Because once he got comfortable he would let out his youthful glow and it was a sight. One of the best.

And I know I will never see it again but I have my memories to remember it.

I hug the shirt close to my chest.

I always thought death was remembering them by the way they died. That’s why I always remembered my father by the fact he was floated and I could never get past that fact.

But with Bellamy I’ve realized that it’s more than that. It’s about remembering them for all the good they were. And to keep remembering them that way because they would want it no other way.

So I won’t be sad Bell is gone. I’ll be happy that I got to know him at all.

I place the dark shirt down, smiling as I reach back into the bag.

I furrow my eyebrows as I grab onto a medium sized object and lift it out of the bag. I stare at the book looking object that’s worn and brownish. Looks like leather. I pull the string up from the top to open it.

The first page reveals it’s not a book. But a journal.

Where did he get this?

I sit myself down, involuntarily and see that the next page is filled with writing.

Well it would be rude if he was alive. But since he can’t stop me.

‘ **My sister was taken away a while ago. I’ve been through all the sadness and guilt and now I’m just mad. I thought maybe if I wrote everything down I would be able to get over it. I found this in the museum area of old relics from earth and I thought why not take it for a while. Not like their using it…** ’

Intrigued, I keep on reading.

**MURPHY**

Everything blurs in my sight. My mind is filled with fuzziness and it’s like when we were on the Ark and they tried to get tv’s working. Bzzzz Bzzz for hours.

I don’t think it will be much longer.

The infection has spread fast and my body is heating up like it’s on fire. I don’t even have enough strength to touch my head but I can tell that it’s sweating because the sweat keeps running down into my mouth.

I don’t want to open my eyes anymore so I close them.

Maybe if I just drift off to sleep, I’ll fade away and won’t have to go through this pain anymore.

I can barely swallow anymore and I haven’t eaten for a whole day.

Or drank any water.

Wells was my source of those things but now that he’s done with me I can finally die.

I guess I’ll be seeing Bellamy sooner than I thought. I’ve never liked him that much but what the hell. Atom and me can prank him down in hell right?

I twitch for a moment, springing my body up and then back down.

My stomach is tightening and growing smaller by the second. My mouth is dry as a desert. And I can’t feel my leg with the wound anymore.

Things start to appear darker. 

Spots are blinking in my eyelids.

I’m truly dying.

I start to drift off.

...But then I hear the sliding of the sheet.

Oh no.

**WELLS**

I’m almost surprised as I see his whole body sweaty like he was just put under a waterfall. 

He does not look good at all.

This is my damn fault.

I grow closer, placing my medical bag down as he moves his head towards me and opens his eyes.

“Damn you. Just let me die.”

His voice is so raspy it sounds like he hasn’t talked in years. I zip open my bag, placing the back of my hand on his forehead. It’s steaming. I almost can’t touch it for long.

Fuck. It’s spreading fast.

“You know. I’ve realized something.”

He groans, trying to move away from me but I push his leg down. I begin to tear off the bandage that has grown wet and is beginning to mold slightly.

“I’ve realized I’m an idiot.”

I see a smirk from him as I almost gape from his wound.

There is yellow pus surrounding it. And black veins are starting to spread outwards around his leg.

It’s swollen quite a bit.

“Finally realized?”

He seems to be able to get out the words a bit more.

I grab my knife from my pocket as it’s my only choice. He’s going to die if I don’t get to the center of this. But there is also the risk of him bleeding out.

Fuck.

Screw it.

“Yeah. Because I should have remembered to do the opposite of what you say.”

I try to keep his mind off it.

He scoffs a little bit, but seems to be zoning out.

“Murphy. Murphy. Don’t make me slap you. Stay with me.”

He swallows.

“Like I’d let you have the last fight.”

“That’s a good boy.”

“Shut up.”

I start to push the knife at the edge of the wound that’s infected. 

“Ok. This is gonna hurt a lot. Like a whole lot. More than the arrow I’m guessing.”

He doesn’t answer back. I use my other hand to open his eye, seeing that his eyes are starting to roll to the back of his head.

I slightly slap his cheek. He doesn’t respond for a few seconds but then slaps at my wrist.

I let out a breath.

“Ok. Here.”

I roll up my sleeves, pulling out a wad of bandage from the kit. I then place it in his mouth. He tries to spit it out but I push it in there.

“Bite that when it hurts.”

I center my knife again, taking a few deep breaths as I try to calm myself.

I’ve never done this type of procedure before but if I don’t Murphy is going to die. And if Murphy dies I’m going to be blaming myself forever for this.

So let’s not think about dying.

“I know you want to die Murphy. But if you die because of this wound I won’t be able to forgive myself. So just don’t die right now. You can want to die later.”

I focus on the wound, starting to slice around it. Blood begins to gush out slowly and so I keep cutting around the flesh. I place a shirt using it for towel under his leg.

I finish cutting around it but now it’s time for the gross part.

Murphy bites down onto the bandage, showing how truly in pain he is.

I start to cut under the scrap of skin I’ve just cut. I slice it under like the meat that we cut in camp. It’s just like skinning animals. We’ve done this before Wells.

Except this is now flesh.

But I’ve grown accustomed to blood. I need to do this.

The blood quickens for some off reason and just as I pull off the yellow scrap of skin. I throw it to the side of the towel, quickly grabbing another shirt to stuff onto the wound to stop the bleeding as much as I can.

But it doesn’t help so I just grab the alcohol and start to pour it over the wound.

He almost screams out, the bandage muffling it.

“Almost done.”

I grab more bandage from the bag and start to wrap it around the bloody wound. It keeps on bleeding but I can’t do anything to help it so I keep on wrapping until it’s barely noticeable. 

I finally finish, noticing how fast my heart is beating.

“There. All done. Now you can hit me.”

I hear no objections or lets gos.

I look to Murphy, seeing the bandage has fallen out of his mouth and he’s passed out.

“Murphy?”

I close in on his face, listening to see if he’s breathing.

Which he is but it’s very shallow.

Only if we had the tools we needed.

At least he won’t be yelling at me any time soon.

I grab his scrap of skin from the bed and wrap it into the towel to throw away later. Or bury.

I look at the sight of where his leg lays. Seeing that the blood had set into the bed and it’s now partly maroon. His wound looks cleaned and professionally done but his bed looks like there was a massacre.

I feel guilty I even let it come to this.

Not because it’s Murphy.

But because I was supposed to be his doctor. And no matter my feelings I was supposed to keep trying to heal him. Even if he didn’t want me to.

Because that’s my job.

My one job.

I can’t ever let anything like this happen again.

**CLARKE**

I lay on my back, holding the journal up to keep reading.

‘ **I did it. I got on the dropship down to earth. To be with my sister. But now there’s another problem. There’s this woman who won’t stop annoying the hell out of me. Clarke Griffin. The princess. My feelings for her are pretty clear. I hate her guts. Every damn thing on the Ark was given to her and I won’t let her steal my spotlight down here. If the Ark figures out I’m down here. If they come down here. I’ll be killed. And I won’t be able to protect my sister anymore. So even if I have to kill her. She’s going to get out of my way.** ’

Wow. So the feeling was mutual.

But it does show how much he clearly loves his sister. Even if it also shows that he wanted to kill me.

I can’t help but keep on going as I sit myself up and place the journal in my lap.

**JASPER**

This morning has been hell and I don’t care about the repercussions anymore.

He won’t even look at me anymore and this is killing me more than before.

He hasn’t even tried to pick up Mothra no matter how much I can see that he misses him. 

I march into my tent, catching eyes with Maya as she stands up.

“Hello sweetie.”

She walks up to me but I move away as she tries to kiss me.

“Maya. I need to talk to you.”

I’ve made the wrong decision.

“That doesn’t sound good.”

I stand up straight, showing no weakness.

“I need Monty.”

Her eyes become almost like an owls.

“What?”

“That’s not what I meant. I mean it’s hurting me that I can’t see Monty anymore. And I need you to make a choice. Because I have made plenty.”

She stares intently.

“You either need to be able to see me with Monty and let us continue our friendship. Or. We need to break up. Because I can’t live without him in my life.”

She keeps staring. 

And then sighs, almost smiling. A sweet smile.

“I’m surprised you made it this far.” She grabs onto my arm, moving her hand up to my cheek. “Jasper I don’t want you to be unhappy. And I’m sorry I caused this rift between you guys. I just wanted to feel chosen. But if we take this slowly. And I get to know Monty more. I think we can make this work.”

I finally feel like I’m able to breathe as I let out a tiny laugh.

“You don’t know how happy that makes me. Thank you.”

I wrap my arms around her, removing them quickly so that I can go to leave.

It almost feels like a dream.

“I have to go tell Monty.”

**MONTY**

I can feel his tent behind me. It sounds stupid but I’m always aware when he’s in there and it doesn’t help when my bar is right next to it.

I can’t take it.

I put the cup I was cleaning down and start for the forest.

They can live without me pouring their drinks for a day. I just need to get out of here and away from Jasper.

“Monty!”

My whole body comes to a halt as I realize it’s his voice.

I thought we had a deal. We couldn’t come in contact. So why?

I hear his footsteps run closer almost as if he’s excited. No I know he’s excited. I can feel his energy from a mile away. I just had hoped that my Jasper senses would have disappeared.

I turn around once he reaches me.

“I talked to Maya. She’s letting us be friends.”

I can see the giant smile on his face, but I can’t reciprocate.

“Letting us? Do you know how stupid that sounds.”

“B-bu-”

“Jasper. She still has such a hold over you that it was either she let you be friends with me or we just never talked again. I need some air.”

“Monty-”

“Away from you. I need to be away from you Jasper.”

I slide his hand, that he decided to put on me, off and keep walking into the forest.

I know he’s hurting. And I’m hurting just as much as him but he still doesn’t understand how much this has complicated.

I’m not just going to be an afterthought. Because I used to be his priority. And I know that’s too much to ask for since he deserves to be happy and to have a girlfriend but I just can’t.

After being friends for so long I can’t imagine drifting away to nothing.

\-------

“Monty you go after that deer. I’ll stay on course.”

Finn gives me a head nod and then starts to run the way we were. I keep on my own path and crouch below a tree that stands in the darkness.

Finn used to be annoying as hell to me but for some reason ever since he and Clarke made up, he’s been more civilized. He’s also a really good hunter to hunt with.

Stays on the mission at hand.

He was one of the ones that trained me and I kind of look up to him. But not to much. He’s still spacewalker Finn.

I keep my spear down in my hand, as I land my eyes on the two headed deer that is eating it’s lunch. I’ve learned to let it eat as much as it can so that when we catch it it’s fattened up.

I still hate that we have to kill animals, but I know I have to. And even though the animals run, they know we have to too.

It’s big eyes stay open as it chomps on the grass under its feet. Go time.

I pull the spear up, aiming it up towards the sky and then lowering it ever so slightly.

I throw it in a heap of air.

A few seconds later, the deer falls to the ground having been stabbed straight in the head. I cheer a bit in my head before running towards our dinner. 

I hear footsteps behind me and pull the spear out of the deer's head with a grunt, aiming it to be my weapon. I turn around and see Finn’s big eyes as he holds his hands up.

I lower the weapon.

“Lost the boar. But I see you got the deer. Good job.”

He holds up his hand for a high five.

I don’t hesitate before I reciprocate and we slap our hands together.

“Your scary with a spear. I trained you well.”

I roll my eyes.

“Don’t go getting a big head Finn. Help me with this.”

I throw down the spear to come get later as I grab under the deer's neck.

“Too late for that.”

He laughs as he gets on the other side of the body and lifts up.

“Remember to save half of the meat for our trip tomorrow.”

I make sure he remembers as we start to carry the limp body back to camp.

“Yeah. No worries. But aren’t you a bit worried about not having a camp for once?” He begins to put off an uneasy energy. “I mean we have us. But we also had Bellamy before. I believe in Clarke but we have no idea where we’re going.”

I smile towards him to ease him a bit.

“We don’t need to know where we’re going. This is right. And we just need to have faith that we’re gonna get to where we need to go.”

“Right. Faith. I completely forgot about what that was.”

“Well now’s the time to remember.”

He tries to smile this time.

**CLARKE**

It’s been fun reading this. Seeing how his mind has worked over the years even before I knew him. He was so unmotivated to do anything about his sister before but he became a man and finally did something when he was older.

And I kind of respect him for that.

But now I’m reaching the end and it’s making me scared. Because we’re reaching the last entry he made before he died.

His last thoughts on paper.

I finally turn the page, to the last entry.

‘ **So I’m going to stop writing now. When I started I was just so lost and trying to find my way with my feelings and such. But now I think I’ve found a home. Not just in the camp but also in Clarke. My home ended up being a person. Isn’t that crazy? She is such a good leader. Not that I would ever tell her but I don’t think I could live without her by my side. I don’t even want to imagine a life without her in my world. She has become one of my best friends and my home. A home is a place where you can say your thoughts without being judged. Where you can feel safe. Where you don’t have to be scared to be yourself. And I’ve found that. I’m not lost anymore. So. Goodbye.** ’

I stare at that one word as if it should bring me ease. But all I feel is lonely.

Because this was the last thing I had of him and now it’s finished. 

I know he said he couldn’t live without me. But he doesn’t have to. I have to live without him. And I can’t.

But I have to anyways.

“How am I supposed to do that?”

I hug the book to my chest, tightening my hold on it as I imagine it’s him. I close my eyes, trying to stop from anything leaving my heated eyes.

Goodbye Bellamy.


	63. Right

**MURPHY**

I feel weak.

Like my blood was sucked out into the vacuum of space. Now all I have is a lifeless limp body in the place where my strong body once stood. I’m just a shell of the man I was before.

Trying to move my body, I come up short and a hand stops me.

I open my eyes to see Wells there sitting next to my bed. He has that same worried face on when I told him I wanted to die. The look that shows he cares too much about his patients.

I guess he does look a bit guilty too. Being that he left me to die.

But that’s what I wanted.

“You lost a lot of blood. You shouldn’t move much yet.”

He gets up, moving his hand under my head to push my head up to be a bit more level. He pushes a glass to my lips, but I try to move my head away. He budges it back into the same spot.

I hate feeling weak.

I am really thirsty. Ugh.

I take a few sips as he leans it towards my mouth more.

It fills my throat with a metallic taste but hits all the grooves and goes down smoothly. My throat feels better once I take a few more sips. He pulls it away and sets it next to my head.

“I only stayed to make sure you were alive. But since you are I can leave now.”

He zips up his medical bag as I move my leg with the wound on it slightly. It hurts like a motherfucker but I can finally feel it now I guess.

An infection would have been the worst way to die.

“...And Murphy.”

I look towards him hesitating to leave.

“As long as I have anything to do with it. I won’t let you die.”

I furrow my eyes in confusion.

Why should he care?

It’s none of his business.

He takes not even a second after saying that to leave, leaving me confused.

Why should I care why he cares?

I don’t.

**WELLS**

Once I leave Murphy’s tent I widen my eyes, seeing Monty standing there.

He’s smiling like a smartass.

“I didn’t. It was nothing.”

I try to walk away.

“Sure buddy. I’ll see you later at the bar.”

He has a tone in his voice which says he doesn’t think it was nothing. But it was nothing. I know it was nothing. I just can’t let him die. Because of my conscious. 

Even if he’s an asshole I can’t just let him die.

That’s all.

That’s it.

I need to stay away from that bar.

**MONTY**

I smirk to myself, seeing Wells walk away with annoyance in his step.

This whole thing is actually kind of fun to watch. Wells not wanting to admit that he could be friends with Murphy is quite a sight to see. He usually doesn’t care what others think.

But then again. Wells may just be lying to himself about this whole mess.

Which makes sense.

Since it’s Murphy we’re talking about here.

No one knows anything about him and no one wants to find out.

Well I mean. Except…

“Monty.”

I stop at his voice just like I had before. 

Why can’t I just keep walking dammit?

I turn around, almost unwillingly as I see his excitement as toned down and he just has a small warming smile on his face.

“Can we talk? Please?”

I keep my eyes on him, trying to see if he’s really determined to make this happen.

He is.

I guess we did need to talk.

“Lead the way.”

**RAVEN**

Everyone everywhere is scavenging quickly for the trip tomorrow while I try to get as many of my tools I can into my bag. It’s going to be heavy as hell but this is stuff I need to do my job.

To be honest I’m ready to get out of this place. It was the last place I was together with Finn and I just need a change of scenery.

But I think I’m happier not being with him.

I’m not stupid. I knew something was going on when he kept staring at Clarke halfway across the room. But it’s been a month.

And I’ve never been better.

I throw the bag back down on the bed and run out of the tent.

I need to make sure Wells is getting the medical supplies all together.

I pause when I catch my eyes on dirty blonde hair. It flies in the wind as the guy who holds it on his head is working to fix some item on a wooden bench. I find myself wandering closer.

I’d recognize that hair anywhere.

“Wick?”

The guy turns around in a quick turn, almost tripping over himself.

“Raven?”

He smiles and I can’t help but run into him as I wrap my arms around him.

“Oh my god. I didn’t even know you were down here. I thought-”

“Yeah turns out there was no room left in heaven and I was stuck here.”

I laugh, moving away.

“So where have you been? I haven’t seen you one bit.”

I squish my lips together.

“Well. I usually stay in my tent. You know. Work work work.”

“Right. Same old Raven.”

He moves closer, making the air between us stop short.

“So I know it’s late now. But how about tomorrow we get to catching up? Unless you and Finn-”

“Nope. Me and Finn are not together anymore.”

“Oh.”

He seems almost happy about that.

“And I would love to catch up.”

He widens his smile, showing his teeth. But then my eyes roam to Wells coming out of the drop ship with a full backpack as he heads to his own tent.

“But. We’re leaving.”

“What?”

I shake my head, remembering.

“Yeah. Our group is being kicked out so we’re leaving. I’m sorry. If we could stay I would but their my group.”

He takes a second before nodding his head.

“Of course. I get it.”

I look down for a second. 

I wish I could stay.

“I should go. But it was great seeing you.”

He smiles.

“You too.”

I start to walk off, once again leaving him behind.

Just like on the Ark.

We were such great partners when we worked together on the Ark and I really liked him. The only thing stopping me was Finn and now the only thing stopping me from going for my chance is the fact that we’re leaving.

It just seems like the time is never right for us.

I glance back for a second, seeing him look down at his metal object before looking back up and smiling a sad smile that would make angels weep.

I hate the council.

**JASPER**

I lead us to the top of the drop ship. The exact same place we had our last talk. I make sure to sit in the spot I sat when we landed on this new earth.

He stares at me, unamused.

“Seriously?”

“Just humor me.”

He sighs, sitting next to me.

I turn my body in the chair to face him, but he doesn’t do the same and keep staring forward.

“Monty. No words can explain how sorry I am.”. He looks over at me slightly intrigued. “Sorry that I was selfish. Sorry that I was never up front about what I wanted to any of you. Sorry that I’ve been a bad friend.”

He looks down at his hands.

“And I’m sorry I put this all on you just after Bellamy’s funeral. That must have been hard for you.”

“It was.”

His face scrunches up and I can finally see outright how stupid I was.

I should have never done this to him.

“But I need you to know,”. I place my hand on his wrist, making him look over at me. “I didn’t make Maya choose between letting me stay friends with you or staying away from you. I made her choose between letting me stay friends with you or having us break up.”

He completely turns to me, in surprise.

“Why would you do that?”

I take a swallow and look down at my hand on his wrist before looking back up at him.

“Because you weren’t something I was willing to give up.”

His eyes widen for a second and then he smiles.

The smile I hadn’t seen for a whole month and I had been missing for what felt like forever.

He quickly wrapped his arms around my neck and I smothered my face into his neck as I hugged him back.

I just wish it didn’t take me this long to figure it out.

I move away a few moments later.

“Ok. Now I need to hear about everything. You joined the hunting group?!”

He almost laughs as he nods.

“Crazy right?”

“Uh yeah!”

It felt easy to get back into our old rhythm. Almost as if we hadn’t been separated for a month. The only thing is we had.

And I felt bad. 

But as long as I had him by my side still I was going to be making it up to him.

**WELLS**

I watch as the light from the sun comes up over the hill, signaling that it was time to leave. If we didn’t now we would be overstaying our welcome and wander into dangerous territory. Knowing full well how the council works, it was time to go.

I make my way to Clarkes tent, bowing my head under the door of the frame as I walk in. I look down at the bed to see her holding a book as she sits up, almost as if she’s frozen. I can tell from the dark circles under her eyes that she hasn’t slept a wink.

I can’t blame her.

Sitting down next to her on the creaky bed, I place my hand on her shoulder.

“How are you doing?”

She opens her mouth, staring full straight ahead before licking her dry lips and closing it. She looks down at the ground, giving me her answer.

I guess in all fairness, I haven’t been too focused on her through this time and more on me. But she didn’t want anyone to bother her so I thought. I should have realized, knowing Clarke, that there was more to the story.

“What is that?” I point to the book, almost touching it. She pulls it away from her chest. I can now see the plain leather journal fully. “Ah. Bellamy’s journal. I thought you would want to see that.” She moves her eyes to me this time, showing the redness coursing through the veins away from her pupils.

She wipes at her eyes, trying to play it off as being tired.

“Is everyone ready?”

There’s a specific tone in her voice, showing how ready she isn’t. But she’s Clarke. And she’s going to pretend to be ok for the survival of her people.

“Their waiting outside.”

She nods her head once, clasping her hands to the edge of the bed as she pushes herself up. She wipes at her eyes again, taking a deep breath in as she gets ready to walk out and lead her group.

“Clarke.”

She doesn’t look at me for a second. But then turns her head with a smile.

“Bellamy would be proud of you. And he would have wanted to see the person you’ve become. Even if it was without him.”

It’s as if by those words and the sound of his name that she unravels. Moving her hand away from the exit, her feet shuffle back as if scared of what is waiting for her.

“I miss him so damn much.” Her head lowers, hands coming up to cover up her face. A darkness begins to loom over her, taking away what confidence she had brewing up left. “I don’t want to lead without him Wells. I can’t.” I make my way up at the cracking of her voice, finding my way to her in the dark.

My hands slide onto her shoulders, making her look up at me as I tighten my hold.

“Clarke. There is no one else that could do this. But you can. You already have.” I try to comfort her, her eyes piercing into my soul like a spear. “It’s going to be hard. There’s no doubt about that. But you have me. Jasper. Monty. You have your family to help you through it. And we will.” Her eyebrows furrow for a second, not wanting to believe that what I’m saying is true. Because then she’ll have to move on without Bell.

But then that same darkness that was here only moments ago begins to clear. And she begins to straighten up with that confidence that was draining out of her before.

“Thank you. I was losing myself there.”

She huffs out a breath, stabilizing.

“That’s what best friends are for. To knock some sense into you.”

She stares at me for a moment, her smile dropping as she wraps her arms around my neck. She pulls me in closer, causing me to grab hold of her at the risk of falling.

“But I’m not the only one who lost him. I’m sorry.”

And once again I feel the striking of a sharp object to my hardened exterior. Because I had been trying and succeeding in staying strong for everyone. Not once breaking down.

Which I wasn’t going to do now. But I knew that I could if I wanted.

Because if Clarke, the strongest girl I had ever known, could I would for sure be able do it too.

“Now let’s blow this joint.”

\-----------

I push myself into Murphy’s tent for the last time, ready to leave this place and put it behind us. We don’t know where we’ll end up but it will be way more accepting than here. And it will be our home.

“Time to go Murphy.”

He opens his eyes, as if from fake sleeping to stare at me. His eyes glaze over, showing how weak he is. And here I thought he could withstand anything.

“What?”

He tries to act dumbfounded. As if he didn’t know that we were leaving today. I had given him hours to prepare and he still didn’t choose to take it. I know he’s been on bedrest lately but his limited stuff is still all over the room.

“You know what. Why aren’t you packed?”

I catch my eyes on a backpack near under his bed. Like it’s meant to be hidden and I sigh calmly as I rip it out from under him. Did he really think that would work?

He pulls himself to sit up, showing that he’s able to move. He’s also not sweating or wincing or anything so I can conclude that my emergency amputation of the infection had worked.

“Because I’m not going.”

I choose to ignore his stubbornness, grabbing onto clothes here and there and stuffing it into the empty bag. I grab his knife from the side table to move it into my back pocket so that he can’t try to hurt himself while I’m not looking.

“Hey idiot. Will you listen to me? I’m not going.”

Zipping his bag closed, I catch sight of one more item. On the ground, surrounded by his dirty blanket that has grown a dirty red. I go to pick it up thinking it’s another clothes item, but I stop myself when I realize what I’m seeing.

A tannish bra that has obviously been here recently.

Who would have slept with him in this condition?

I glance up at him, crossing his arms and looking off to avoid eye contact to see that he is looking like he did before. Probably used his stupid tricks on an innocent girl in here.

Who am I kidding? No one’s innocent down here.

I decide not to touch it and instead start to grab for him. He tries to fight back, obviously feeling fine in his arms as he pushes and swats at me.

I guess the fun of him being lifeless is long gone.

“Murphy you can’t walk on your own, I need to help you walk.”

I grasp onto his wrist, tightening my hold so that he can’t get out of it so easily. He tries but he can’t as I begin to pull him up. Once he’s falling over the edge I decide not to let him fall and instead switch my arms to be under his arms.

But during the switch he decides to fight back, and ends up falling with a thump onto the ground.

“Woah Murphy.”

I go to pick him up, but he swats at me again.

I don’t like this Murphy. I don’t like any Murphy by that point but fighting Murphy is definitely the hardest to control.

He’s holding onto his leg, obviously hurting.

As I move down closer, he swats at me but I swat at him back, grabbing hold of his arm to pull him back up towards me. He winces, halfway up to me.

“I want to live. I want to live.”

The rushing of his voice causes me to stop halfway. I can see that he’s trying to trick me or distract me but I grab hold of him around the waist to hold him up.

“Ok. You will.”

He pounds on my back.

“You said you would do the opposite of what I wanted. I want to live.”

I scoff, pulling him. He seems to be able to walk on his non injured leg as he lifts his injured leg up and hops slightly.

“I said I don’t do what you want. Not what you say.”

He groans, gritting his teeth as if angry with me. But when hasn’t he been. It’s been a fight fest between both of us ever since we got down here. And I’m not trying to change anything but it would be great if he would just stop struggling.

“Plus I would go back on my word of not letting you die.”

“I hope you die.”

He whispers under his breath, angered.

“Aww. Thanks. I hope you live to the point it hurts more to live than to die. I’ll make sure of it.”

**CLARKE**

Wells comes out of Murphy’s tent with the narcissistic ass around his shoulders. He gives me the head nod, signaling that it was time to finally leave.

“It’s time. I hope everyone has said goodbye to who they needed to.” I said, everyone turning their eyes to me. “I know you guys may be worried since we have no idea where we’re heading. But I think we’ll be fine as long as we stay together. This is what Bellamy would have wanted.” Some smile, some look down and I see just how much it still affects people.

It affects me just as much.

“I know I haven’t made it easy. I’ve been running around trying to fill in the hole that Bellamy left but I do hope that you accept me as your one and only leader. Because I will stop at nothing to make sure we all make it through this.”

Jasper smiles weakly, holding his arm up through the silence.

“Our one and only princess.”

Monty follows in suit, Wells using his free hand to sprint his arm up quickly. Everyone else raises their arm up slowly in almost a rhythm as they yell out.

“Our one and only princess!”

Wells glares towards Murphy, who decides to look away and pretend that he’s not even listening. I shake my head, scoffing knowing full well that he won’t chime in. And I’m fine with that.

I’m just happy that the rest of my group is there for me.

I feel stronger for once since Bellamy’s death. Not a fake strong that I had to make up to keep going but a strength that actually makes it easier to move on. All I needed was to realize what was in front of me all this time.

My family keeping me up.

I glance over at where Bellamy lays in the forest, saying my last goodbye as I turn around to lead my group.

“So I see you decided.”

Jaha stands at the front of the councils tent, looking out at us. My mom is right behind him just as she always has been.

“We’re leaving. Just keep it civil.”

He nods, choking down words I see he wants to say.

“I wish it could have turned out better son.”

Wells tries to ignore his gaze but then stands up straight heeding him full on.

“Then you should have tried harder instead of being the weak man you pretend not to be.”

There’s almost a fight between their eyes as they stare. It’s almost uneasy to watch as neither of them will back down but then Jaha smiles, surprising most of us.

“I’m proud of the man you have become. I hope you find what you're looking for out there.”

Wells stares wide eyed for a few moments. He then nods, not letting even a smile escape his lips. He glances over at me once again signaling me and I take one last shot at my mom before walking forward.

Into the unknown.

**ANYA**

“Send them for supplies. We need to gather more of the knives in the facility.”

One of my men stands center, listening to my orders. He nods but doesn’t move as he should be.

“Is there something you need to say?”

He takes this chance to speak.

“I know he’s useful. But are we sure he’s ready? That he won’t just run?”

He stares straight forward, standing up in his stiff posture.

“If I say he’s ready. Then he’s ready. He’s been over prepared for a month under your training and if your as good as I think then he should be fine.”

He nods, not aiming his eyes at me once. 

“Now go.”

He doesn’t take another moment before turning around, keeping his posture straight as he leaves the tent.

As long as those people don’t get in our way.


	64. Fate or Pressure

**WELLS**

We’ve been walking almost in what seems like circles for the past half of a day. I know we didn’t know where we were going, but I had more hope that we would get somewhere that we could set up camp.

These trees used to be so beautiful before but now I just want to cut them down with how many times I’ve seen the same bristly tall one. And with how many times it’s kept poking at me as we passed it.

Plus Murphy is making my arm tired.

I look towards the front, seeing Clarke still straight postured and set on a path as she was when we started. I admire how much she can keep going.

“Tired?” Murphy doesn’t look at me as he starts up. “You know you can just leave me at one of these trees and never come back right?” I shake my head, jumping up a bit to readjust him on my shoulders.

“Never been better.”

Murphy does his usual groan, beginning to walk a bit better. And then he shuffles his shoulders. “You know I won’t make this easy on you.” He tries to escape from my grip, but I tightened him further in.

“When have you ever?”

He looks over at me, a little too close for comfort. “If you wanted to be close to me, should have just asked.” He smirks. I roll my eyes, knowing what he’s trying to do. 

Not letting you go.

“Need some help?”

Monty zooms in front of us away from Jasper, causing us to slow our, already slow pace, down. I shake my head, putting on a smile. “I can handle the pet. But thanks.” He smirks at my answer, causing me to completely stop.

“Please stop. Stop smirking.” I say, obviously uncomfortable. “It’s not a good look for you.” He doesn’t stop though. Because he’s trying to get under my skin. Because of what he said.

**You care about Murphy in some way.**

I shake my head slightly, remembering.

“Fine. Guess what.” He comes to the side of me, a skip in his step.

“So annoying…” 

Murphy puts his two cents in. I squeeze his arm in a pinch. 

“What?” I respond, listening as Murphy shuffles my arm off.

“Me and Jasper made up.” He quickly makes out like it’s gossip. I smile. 

“That’s so great Monty. I’m so happy for you.” Murphy peeks his head to Monty. Too interested for my taste.

“Oh. You and weaker you giving this thing a shot?” 

I hit him in the arm slightly, making sure that it’s one of the spots that still hurts. He almost whimpers, biting his lip.

“What?”

“Don’t listen to him, he’s an idiot.”

“Or just a realist…” Murphy chimes in. “You and your boy toy are practically in love by this point.” Murphy shoots a look at Jasper and Maya and then back to Monty. I can see Monty slightly look at Jasper.

“It’s not like that.” Monty makes sure to deny it. Which he should. Murphy is not a person to take seriously with love. But then again he has always been honest.

“Oh it isn’t? My bad.” He uses his stronger arm to lay on his chest in a my bad pose. “Cause those glances you shoot each other throughout the day aren’t so obvious…” Once he brings out his condescending face, I decide I’ve had enough and kick him in the leg.

“What the fuck dude?!”

“Oh did that hurt? Then shut up.”

Murphy glares. And then looks away.

“I didn’t want to talk to you anyways.”

“Good.”

“Good.”

I turn to apologize to Monty but see him staring off behind us. 

To Jasper. 

\------

We stop once we make it to Mount Weather. The building that took us away from our home. No. The people that worked there that took us away from our home. Their not there anymore and if we’re right about that. Then it’s just a place.

A place with some bad memories.

I hear a grumble come from beside me. I slowly glance beside me to Murphy, who is looking away. I raise my eyebrow for a second, but adjust my face.

“Are you hungry, Murphy?”

He doesn’t answer and keeps his face away from mine.

I’m gonna say that’s a yes. 

“Clarke.”

She’s still staring at the place she practically massacred innocent people in. But she takes a moment to look back at me. I can see the fear on her face. She didn’t want to do it. I know that just as everyone else here does.

But before. She had Bellamy that understood. Now he’s gone and everything’s just become harder.

“We need food. But if you want to keep walking-”

I eye Mount Weather.

“No. Here’s fine. We couldn’t gather all the supplies from before and we can rest here for a little while.” She turns fully to all of us. “If that’s alright with everyone?” People look to each other, nodding and so anxiously pleading for rest.

Clarke sets her sights on Jasper and Monty. And Maya. Who had been walking together. She waits for their answer.

Jasper looks to Maya who puts on a smile.

“If your with me.”

Maya responds just before Jasper wraps an arm around her and pulls her in closer. Monty glances at them but then stares at Clarke.

“As long as there are no ghosts.”

Clarke scoffs, Monty smiling.

It seems that we can truly get over what happened at Mount Weather. But then again, acting and actually being ok with it are two different things. 

Even I’m still terrified of what lays in front of us. We never buried the bodies. It was always on the list but after everything, we couldn’t get around to it.

Clarke nods towards me.

I start to help Murphy towards the building. But when he glances at the building he doesn’t seem to see a haven like the rest of the group. His foot skids to a halt as everyone keeps on moving in, weapons out just in case.

“Are you ok?”

For a second I had completely forgotten about the scars, literal scars, Murphy had gotten from this place. Maybe his silence wasn’t just to get on my nerves. But I’ve never known Murphy to be scared of anything.

He seems to catch himself, loosening his foot.

“Yeah. Yeah. I’m good.”

The paleness of his face seems to point towards another answer. But he doesn’t try to show it. I stand there for a moment.

“I said I’m fine. Let’s go.”

He reassures but I keep where I am.

“I’ll let Clarke search the place first. Make sure no one’s inside.”

Murphy looks at me with suspicion in his face. But doesn’t ask any questions and just stands with me.

In silence.

\--------

As soon as Clarke gives us the A ok, we walk into Mount Weather. To be honest, standing out there with Murphy in silence wasn’t even torture. There was just shuffling and a calming silence.

Makes me realize that he can be quiet just to be quiet.

I make my way with Murphy to the cafeteria and it doesn’t take long after we take the elevator down. He’s still silent but I feel an uneasy feeling coming from him. I decide to ignore it as I set him down on one of the seats.

He hasn't fought me for a while.

Clarke signals me by the cafeteria entrance, waving me to come over. “I’ll be right back.” I tell Murphy, who seems to be ignoring me yet again. Or at least it seems that way.

What’s new?

I rush over to Clarke, jogging.

“What’s wrong? Did you see someone?” I ask, a little worried.

“No. No. But that’s what's weird. No one is here. Not even the bodies. I’ve checked everywhere.”

“So what does that mean?”

She takes a deep breath, looking around before answering. She keeps her voice low.

“Someone must have been here before us. So we have to keep our guard up.”

I glance over at Murphy, who’s staring at the wall, for a second.

“Are we going to tell anyone?”

“We don’t know anything yet. We should just let everyone relax and then leave as soon as we can.”

“Where Clarke?”

She seems to stop altogether, taking in the question I’ve been trying to keep out of my mind. I didn’t want to doubt her. Our group. But we’ve been walking for almost the whole day and…

“It’s gonna get dark soon. We need to think about survival.”

She keeps her eyes away from me for a moment.

I know what she thinks about this place. I get it. But we can’t just run around all day, especially in the dark. 

“Clarke!”

We’re interrupted altogether as Jasper runs down the hall towards us. He stops right before hitting Clarke as he keeps a smile on his face. It’s good to see his smile again. He was worrying me for a moment there.

“Hey so I have a proposition,” He says, both of us waiting. “What if we stayed here? In Mount Weather instead of walking in hope for somewhere else?” Clarke begins to open her mouth but he keeps going.

“And I know you must be worried about how everyone feels about this place but Maya says she would be fine with it. Monty even wasn’t opposed. And we’ve been here before. We know it’s safe. And with us here we can make it even safer.”

Clarke looks back at me, her eyes quivering slightly with the decision. I place my eyes on Jasper.

“Maybe we shouldn’t stay here Jasper. We don’t know what could come here.”

“But I know we can make this place safe. A home. If we at least try.”

Jasper doesn’t seem to be giving it up as he leans over with desperation, the pleading in his eyes. And I don’t blame him.

Actual walls. Blank walls but walls nonetheless that we can decorate. Food. And even if we run out, we can hunt. Water. Clean water that runs through pipes. And the electricity. Don’t even get me started on that.

All signs point to a home. If we try.

The bad memories could just become that. Memories. We don’t have to make them come back to us. Because that’s all in the past.

“Look I know it’s a lot. Especially after what we went through here. But we should at least put it to a vote. Everyone should have a voice in this.”

I shrug towards Clarke suggesting it’s a good idea. She sighs.

“Ok. We’ll take a vote. Your becoming quite hard to say no to Jasper.”

She smiles, obviously proud of him even though she’s against the idea.

“Ok. Great. I’ll talk around and we’ll meet up in an hour or so.”

He runs off. Happiness spraying off of him.

“Now what do we do?”

She turns around, anxious as she brought a hand up to her head.

“Clarke. We need a place to stay. We have nowhere else to go. This does seem like the best option.”

“But what if those people come back?”

“And what if they don't?” I move closer, keeping it between us. “I think we can protect ourselves. We’ve made it through every other fight. We just need to stick together.” I move away. “But in the end you are the leader.”

She shuts her eyes for a moment. And then nods.

“Yeah. Your right. I just need to think.” She takes a deep breath, looking behind me. “You should go feed the beast.” She points towards Murphy before walking off. I stare towards her walking away and only go back into the cafeteria when she’s gone.

I feel like this is the right move.

Like it’s fate.


	65. A Familiar Face

**MONTY**

“So you’ll really be fine if we stay here, right?”

Jasper starts questioning me as we walk down the hallway of bedrooms, slow as we can. I glance at the walls.

“It’s just a place right. It can’t do anything to me.”

I can feel the energy radiating off of Jasper and I know this is what he wants. And honestly he deserves to have one place he feels safe in. I may have been held hostage here and gotten punched but nothing can stop me from making sure Jasper is happy.

Because he’s the reason I’ve been happy.

“Right. So we should pick bedrooms.”

I stop. And then turn towards him finally being able to bring a smile to my face, causing Jasper to be surprised.

“Yes. Good idea. But we should get the best room before people realize we’re staying here. Don’t want to get some musty room.”

“About the room Monty.” Jasper scratches the back of his neck, averting his eyes. “I was thinking maybe because we’re always together. That I could actually get a room with Maya.” He says slowly and cautiously.

It takes me by surprise for a moment.

“Yeah. Right. Of course.” He finally catches eyes with me. “You are dating after all.” I say, nervously laughing but not being able to stop it from coming out. He slightly smiles, strained.

“But…” I continue, catching his attention. “I’m not losing this bedroom game. So you better watch out.” I say, causing him to smile for real.

No matter how I’m feeling over this, we shouldn’t avert from the actual problem. If we don’t get to stay together, then we’re in battle.

“Oh you aren’t?” Jasper slowly starts walking backwards. I stare at him suspiciously. “Well then you better run.” He finishes before sending him full speed down the hall.

“Hey not fair!”

**CLARKE**

I start to walk through the prison section of the building, taking the full time to think without anyone bothering me. I know they won’t come up here. Being placed in these rooms and being knocked out over and over again was not a good experience.

But then again, maybe that was just me.

I know for sure Murphy won’t be coming up here though. No matter how tough he tries to act, after hearing about what happened to him and seeing those scars I know it must have ruined him a little bit.

It should make me sympathize but I’ve kind of been shutting those emotions down ever since. Well. You know. It’s better not to think about it. Plus I shouldn’t have to sympathize. Murphy doesn’t want me to just as he wants no one else to. We’re also not friends so I don’t have to feel bad about it.

What I should be thinking about is this whole Mount Weather move. 

Usually I would have my own opinion and Bellamy would have his. And then one of us would bring the other around to their perspective.

But now. I have no idea what to do.

The vote is good. It places all of the blame off of me. But then what if it’s fifty fifty?

I just wish I wasn’t having to do this whole leader thing alone. Because it is not fun. It makes me wonder why Bellamy wanted me out of the way in the beginning.

Would he have been better at this than me?

**WELLS**

I come back from the storage room, setting a pile of cans onto the table in front of Murphy. He eyes me for a moment, eyeing the can and then back to me. I set the can opener down next.

“Your hungry, aren’t you?”

He avoids my gaze again, shaking his head.

“I’m really not.”

I sit down in the seat, memories coming back of this place. How I had waited for him to come from his room day after day. And never realizing that it may not have been his choice to come. Or what he wanted.

I know in this moment that he’s not just being stubborn. He is being stubborn. But he’s telling the truth. The way his hand is grasped to his arm, tightening. His eyes are glazing over in and out like he’s thinking too much.

And I can see the pain. That he went through. That he had to endure.

“I also don’t get good feelings being here. It’s just a thing we have to endure to survive.” He keeps his lips closed. “No one is here. Not even the bodies. No one can hurt you.” He scoffs, finally opening his mouth.

“You’ll never be able to understand so stop trying to.”

And with that, he averts his eyes again.

“Murphy. All I’m saying is to eat.” I push one of the cans of peaches towards him, exhausted by this point. “Because dying by starvation is not the way to go out.” He stays still for a moment, only a few seconds later unhooking his hand from his arm.

He doesn’t catch my eyes but he grabs one of the cans. He picks up the can opener and then starts to open the top all while ignoring me. But suddenly as he gets it open with a pop he looks up at me, annoyed.

“Don’t be a stalker. I can eat alone.”

I raise an eyebrow.

“You promise your gonna eat?”

He squints his eyes, holding up the can.

“Why else would I open it?”

I relax my face, slightly done with his tone.

“You could just throw it out. Promise your gonna eat if I leave you alone.”

“What are we ten?”

He sets the can down to make a point, but I keep staring at him. He sighs. Knowing I won’t leave until he says those magic words, he proceeds to speak.

“I promise.”

He huffs out quietly, obviously tired of me.

I put on a smile, getting up from my seat to leave.

“And even you won’t break a promise.”

**MURPHY**

As he turns the corner, I set the can down back onto the table. I glance around the room, seeing this room for the first time. Only tables lay inside the bare room with a door leading to the storage room.

I wasn’t missing much.

I stare at the bright peaches inside the metal can, an overwhelming amount of nausea coming to my stomach and up my throat. It’s not that they look gross or anything, it’s just this place. I want to eat but I can’t.

Remembering those knives. The torture I had to go through because I wouldn’t let them control me. And because the only other choice I had was to come down here with a group that no longer felt like mine.

They never really did.

Especially after the betrayal.

I imagine how it must have been without me, everyone laughing. Filling the seats and the room erupting into laughter as they were happy. Because I wasn’t there. Because they were a family without me.

And I would just be better off dead.

But no matter what is supposed to be right. Wells will still be in the way. And no matter what I do. Annoy him. Anger him. Defy him. He won’t just leave me alone.

Makes me miss the times he never even bothered to talk to me when we first crashed down here. But I guess no matter how long I wish for those days, it will amount to nothing. So I just have to move forward.

Move forward? I don’t even think I can. Every being of my body is just wishing to be away from this world. I thought I could handle it but being the bad guy isn’t really an option for me if I can barely walk.

I’ll just have to build up my strength and then give it everything I’ve got.

But what do I give if I’ve got nothing?

Grabbing onto the can again, feeling the grooves of the outside, I think about just throwing it on the ground. Crushing it into a million pieces and acting like I ate even though I know Wells won’t believe it.

**Even you won’t break a promise.**

But wouldn’t I?

What does he gain from not letting me die? The satisfaction of having his little project come out as a success. I’m not something he can just pull around. I’m not a doll. I hear what they say about me in camp. After all there were no thick walls keeping me from hearing.

How everyone knows I’m just going to disappoint Wells. That I’m going to turn him into a bad guy because of my influence. That I’m useless and he shouldn’t even be trying. That I’m just a project to him. Oh and the banger of him getting satisfaction and feeling good if I stay alive.

They might as well have been betting on my life.

I brought everyone to this bad image of me and I don’t regret it. I just wish I could show them how right they were. Maybe then Wells won’t be in my way anymore.

My eyes move to the cement floor, yearning for something to be smashed against it. I smirk to myself. I lift up my arm and tip the can over, letting the peaches slowly drop onto the ground.

Splich. Splotch. Splash.

Until everything is out of the can and on the ground. Too bad no one is here to see this. I move my good leg over the seat and start to crush the peaches under my shoes. Pretending that their people and the squishes are their brains being smashed in.

No one can change me.

I’m John fucking Murphy.

**WELLS**

I catch sight of a bird flapping its wings in the sky to keep afloat. It stops flapping for a moment, and just glides into the trees. A smile comes up on my face, thinking about the bird me and Murphy helped before.

Maybe I should bring him to see him soon. That would be nice.

I squat down and make myself comfortable as I stare into the trees to relax. I’ve been helping Murphy so much that my arms feel like their dying slightly. And holding those cans did not help.

I hear distant footsteps in the trees. The crunching of the leaves under their feet grows louder which causes me to look up. Is that…?

Grounders.

But why would they be coming here? Maybe for supplies. That would explain why all the bodies were gone and some cans were dropped on the floor when I got Murphy some food. I should call Clarke.

“Clarke!”

I yell, not knowing if she can hear me. Because I’m outside and she’s not. I should probably go get her physically. I start to move inside, but once glance back towards the Grounders causes me to stop.

There’s Anya at the front like usual. And her usual grounders behind her and at the sides but. There’s a familiar face right next to her. My heart tightens.

I know that face.

Bellamy?


	66. Back from the Dead

**CLARKE**

Wells pulls me by the wrist, ignoring my questions about what he’s doing or where he’s taking me. What is going on? I didn’t have any time to prepare myself before he came in with that startled look on his face and grabbed me.

He finally loosens his hold once we’re outside. It takes me a moment to adjust my eyes to the blaring sun but as soon as they do, I’m left with my eyes straight on the Grounder leader. I stare at Anya, who’s standing a few feet away waiting, and start to move forwards with slight hesitation in my step.

I’m guessing she didn’t know we set up shop here for the time being as she seems to have a peeved atmosphere around her. As I move closer to her and her group, a face catches my eyes, and my movement halts.

What I’m left staring at is a face I have tried long to forget, a face covered in traditional Grounder face paint. I want to glance down to see if he has the same clothes as the rest of them have, but I know he does. I can’t stop staring at his neutral face that doesn’t seem to notice me in the slightest.

What is this? This can’t be him… I saw him die right in my arms. He doesn’t even seem to recognize me like we didn’t go through years of survival side by side like we didn’t have the connection we did.

Everything seems to warp, and soon my hand is being grabbed onto. I know that it’s Well’s hand but I can’t seem to look at him or move forward. All I can and want to see Bellamy. After imagining him deteriorating under the ground, again and again, all I want to see is his in shape face. I don’t want to imagine bugs eating him from the outside in, I don’t want to see his bones coming out from under his ripening skin, not anymore.

But he can’t be real. I have to be dreaming. Or maybe I’m just going crazy finally after a waiting period.

Anya steps forward, not pulling my attention away from Bell. “I know you must be confused, Clarke. But I have an explanation.” 

I want to yell at her, tell her that there better be an explanation for why my supposed to be dead co-leader is standing in front of me with a blank look on his face. But all I can do is stare. I can’t even speak as I try to pry my eyes off of him. I can’t function and no words seem to come to mind. 

I glance up at him again seeing no light in his eyes, just obedience. Like the rest of her seemingly soulless group.

This can’t be Bell, he’s not even looking at me. Our Bell would look at me, our Bell would say something, he would hug us and say how much he missed us. This isn’t our Bell.

“Clarke.”

I shoot my eyes toward Anya. 

“You need to explain right now.”

\----

My nerves are on alert but I lead them to the cafeteria, taking every few seconds to look at them from the corner of my eye. Wells seems to be keeping a good eye on them, an interesting amount of motivation in his step, but we can never be too careful with the Grounders. 

Nothing seems to be able to explain how the Grounders could bring Bellamy back, not unless they figured out how to resurrect the dead.

I saw the light be pulled out his body, the way his limbs dropped, and I remember the realization that he would never move again. That same realization repeats in my head on a loop ever since that night.

I was just starting to accept that he was gone, that I would have to go through this alone, and now...somehow he’s here? This has to be some cruel trick from the universe. To get me to let my guard down, it has to be.

I gesture for them to sit down, Anya being the only one to as she makes the rest of them stand. Even the so-called Bellamy. I sit on the other side of her, looking to Wells, who seems confused.

He looks over at a table in the corner where some peaches lay on the ground, exactly where he left Murphy. But he’s not there. I want to be sympathetic towards how disappointed he must be, but right now I have to limit how much emotion I feel or show.

I can only deal with so much right now, and I did tell him Murphy was trouble. Old co-leader coming back from the dead sort of trumps rebellious member. I grabbed his wrist that was danging at his side for a split second, him turning his attention to me. “Wells. I need you.”

He finally focuses and then nods as he comes over to sit down. His professional mode is activated but his eyes say it all. The sadness, the grief, the confusion, I can see it all.

“You were talking about an explanation?”

I don’t take a moment to give myself a deep breath as I move my eyes up to Anya who is straight seated and watching me intently. “We had been watching you for some time after we came to tell you about the news. We saw Bellamy die.” I glance up at Bell who didn’t flinch. “We dug him up, used some medicine we had in the works. We saved him.” Saved him? Look at him. “But we didn’t have the time to bargain him before we realized he had no memory of who he was before.” She clearly states, no hint of apology in her voice.

She wanted to bargain for him. Like meat? Like he was nothing? No, she knew that he was everything to us. She knew just how to pull our strings because she knew that we cared too much about each other. 

“No memory? So he has no idea who we are?” I ask, already knowing the answer from the way he just stares at a far wall. If I made one wrong move right now, tried to hurt Anya, would he just destroy me like it was nothing?

Bell, or should I say, Bellamy, finally glances down, showing that what I thought was true. My heart begins to crumble slowly. The hurting doesn’t seem to cease but I keep my eyes forward and my attention focused. Not only did I lose him the first time, but I lost him to have him here again only to lose him a second time.

“Clarke. I need to talk to you...alone, if that’s alright.”

I stare at her for a moment, trying to find an ounce of emotion and coming up with nothing. I get up, breathing slowly through my nose but wanting to start hyperventilating with how much emotion is traveling through my body.

“You sure you’re ok?” Wells asks the ounce of emotion I was trying to find in Anya clear in his eyes. 

I shake my head honestly. “No, but I need to know, and we’ll be in sight if anything happens.”

He nods, still looking worried but letting me go willingly. I walk with Anya to the corner of the room where no one should be able to hear what we talk about.

“Look.” She starts quickly. “He knows nothing. We were going to use him as leverage for keeping your group safe, but he didn’t even know his name. And so we trained him, making him a Grounder, and he caught on very quickly.” I stare at her. Bell was always good at hunting and taking care of himself. “If you let him remain on our side, we will make sure he stays safe.”

“And if I don’t?”

“You can try to take him. But that means that I can take the treaty away.”

“You would do that? All to get your grips on Bellamy?”

“These are hard times, we need all the help we can get. I don’t want to have to send him to fight his previous group during an unexpected war you caused.”

“His group. His family. You would take him away just to have more manpower?” My voice starts to crack but I pull myself back. 

I want so badly to get the real Bell back, but she does have him under her obedience, there’s no way to know if we could even get him on our side. 

I have to think like a leader as Bell would. I look to those brown eyes, trying to find just one piece of advice. But all that stares back at me is emptiness.

“I know this will be very hard. But if you let this happen, then I can protect your group also. I’ll even have Bellamy be the one to protect your group if you want to see him more, at least for a certain amount of time.”

I feel the stress begin to pound on my head. Having a man that’s not even truly Bellamy protect our group? Wouldn’t that just be torture?

“How much time?”

Anya seems to be pleased about the question, which makes me instantly regret it. “He will need to eventually come back to our group permanently. But he can stay here for about a month so that your group can get settled into your new base.”

A month… so there is a time limit on our time together. I should have expected that, but the reality of it still clenches my heart.

“I need to talk to Wells about this.”

“Of course. Take your time.”

She begins to walk away, and I take a moment before signaling Wells to come over. He does as commanded and makes his way to me in no time. I almost can’t keep it together, but I pull in all my strength.

“Are you alright? You were making a bunch of emotional eye movements over here.” I sigh for a second. He usually tells me this, how he can see my emotion through my eyes but how no one else can so it’s okay. Just best friend intellection he usually states.

“She wants to keep him as part of her group. But if we allow it, she’ll let Bellamy come over to protect our group until we’re settled in. If we don’t, she’ll send him after us.”

Wells widens his eyes for a second, solemnly looking down. He takes a moment to stay silent as I can see his eyes moving quickly with thought. He might have disliked Bellamy for a long ass time, but they had become close in the last few months.

“It’s your choice, Clarke. It’s the choice of letting him go… or…”

“I know. I know. I just don’t think I can lose him again Wells. Even if it’s not fully him. It’s still him.” He stares at me with those dark eyes and I can’t help but look away. “I must sound crazy…”

He shakes his head, making sure I know he doesn’t think I’m crazy.

He brings his hands to my shoulders, rubbing them to calm me down. He knows how much pain I went through losing him, hell he went through the same pain. Losing a friend you love with all your being, especially through the hard times isn’t someone you can just forget.

“So keep him here, if you just need a little more time. Let him protect us while he still can. We’ll figure it out as we go along, as long as this is what you want.”

I stare into his eyes. “I think it is.” I finally reveal, looking over at the man of the hour.

There’s a deep pain that erupts from my chest as I see him only as a shell of the man that he was before, but somehow there’s more. Somehow I can’t help thinking that maybe there’s a way he can be saved.

We made our way back over to the Grounders, after making sure the decision was final with both of us, stopping in front of them to stare them down for a few moments. We told her we would agree to the circumstances as long as only Bellamy would be the one protecting the group. While at the moment he wasn’t the Bell we remembered, he was still the only one I could possibly trust out of her group. 

There was a slight stare from Bellamy, but other than that, he showed no sign that he had a brain of his own. Anya said she was glad we could work this out, signed up a document she had brought, and left. Bellamy had to go with them for a while, but Anya assured us he would be back as soon as he had been updated on his mission.

It hurt to watch him leave, knowing full well that he had no idea who we were, and I could tell Wells felt the same pain, his eyes not moving from the ground for a while. 

When they were gone, we were left alone with no idea what to do next.

Left alone, knowing that the leader we once knew was gone.

Now it was time to tell the rest of the group.


	67. Informing

As the Grounders were leaving someone in our group had seen them and started yelling around that Bellamy rose up from the dead. The disbelief and confusion that came from this caused me to have to bring everyone in for the meeting sooner than expected. Wells gathered everyone up as I stood in front of the fire that separated me from everyone else.

I had to be the one to tell them all about what had happened in a clear and knowing voice. But I had barely begun to contemplate how this could have happened, even after being told in detail.

How could someone I cared about so much just come back? And with no memory whatsoever of his group or me? 

How could anyone above us allow this to happen? Was there anyone even above? Or were we just all alone down here?

As soon as everyone was in my view, Wells nodded and came over to stand by me, his supposed leader. There was no time to hesitate as everyone in front of me was still whispering and talking, trying to figure out what in the hell was going on.

I saw Jasper and Monty in the front, not knowing if what was being told was true or not, but knowing that I was keeping something from them. They stood in the group quietly, unlike the rest of the group, knowing full well that talking would just cause more distraction.

“QUIET DOWN!” Wells finally announced, all eyes turning to me as I was suddenly in the hot seat. I never seemed to realize, until now, that Wells really had seemed to harden a bit, his voice is more strict. And while he always gives me those eyes full of hope, I know full well that he doesn’t give those same eyes to the rest of them.

I didn’t sweat or widen my eyes, knowing that would be a dead giveaway to how I didn’t know what I was going to say. I had to make sure that they would take it in the best way possible, in a way that didn’t freak them out more than they already were.

“There have been some interesting things that have happened today. One in particular you all seem to be talking about.” I start off, looking around the group to their seemingly closer faces. “...and before I say what the truth is, I need to tell you all that whatever happens, it will not change what this group is all about. Family.” 

People begin looking at each other as I am obviously building myself up but also slumping over what to say in my head. “Family is what’s important and that’s why I’ve made the decision I did. Because I thought that it would be best for all of us. Even if he’s different.” 

“Different? What do you mean different?” One person yells out from the crowd.

“Is he a part of the grounders?” Another person asks.

“How is he even alive?!” Once again a voice booms from the people.

“QUIET!” Wells yells again, his agitated side showing even as he wasn’t mad but just annoyed that no one was listening. He knew how hard this was for me, and their never-ending questions before I finished weren’t helping anything.

“Yes. Bellamy is alive.” The amount of widened eyes in the crowd was astonishing. “But he is not the same Bellamy, no matter how much he seems to be. He has lost his memory and now is a part of the Grounders.” There were some gasps that went with how everyone in the whole camp was feeling, most people though seemed to stay quiet and zone out.

“So does that mean that he is officially banned from here?” Monty clear and cut asks, being the only one to ask without any harsh tones. He looks worried, especially with how close we all were to Bellamy, but he also doesn’t seem to know quite how he feels either.

“Not quite. He’s actually going to be protecting us from now on. “ I said with wariness but with a sort of strength that kept them from bursting at me right away. There were still ‘What’s’ that circled around the group.

There was silence for a while, someone gaining the guts to speak up. “How could you let a Grounder protect us? Your own group. The people you say to call family?” One dark-haired girl said with disgust. 

“He may be a part of the Grounders, but he had no other choice. We may be able to bring him back to our side if we just show him how we were as a family again.” I said with hope, knowing almost instantly that it was a mistake.

“Let him rot with the rest of the Grounders. He’s bound to kill us in our sleep the first chance he gets, they’re probably informing him right now.” She said, continuing her reign of discomfort with the idea. “If he’s a Grounder, he’s a traitor.” A few others seem to agree with her, making my throat tighten.

“Aren’t you listening? He lost his memory. Maybe get your ears checked.” A boy with dirt blonde hair yells from the back. I know I shouldn’t be rooting for anyone, but I can’t help but notice how my throat loosens up at the sound of his protests.

“I can’t feel safe knowing he’s going to be watching us.”

“It’s still Bellamy, memory, or not. He wouldn’t hurt us.”

Now things seem to be getting worse as I see them inching closer and closer to each other, the boy now only a few steps away from her. There’s anger in their eyes, and everyone just seems to be watching and waiting for them to start fighting.

“Okay I think we shoul-” I try to interfere, but then another shout comes across from the two.

“He’s just another traitor… probably even faked his death to join the Grounders without us killing him first.” She comes at him with, the boy now tightening his fists at his side. It’s scary to see how many people have been affected by Bellamy and how many would kick him out in an instant at the first bad turn.

“He wouldn’t do that!” And then everything seems to quicken as if in an instant. The girl taking his rough tone as a sign for a fight punches him first square in the jaw, sending him stumbling a bit. He gets back up on his feet pretty quickly and grabs onto her shoulders, pushing her onto the ground with a loud thud.

Rooting seems to catch on, but it’s hard to hear they’re rooting for and all I can do is yell for them to stop as I make my way through the crowd, Wells on my heels. I don't make it in time quickly enough before the girl is tumbling along with the boy across the dirt ground, each taking punches at each other.

My yells are drowned out and so without thinking, I go to grab the girl, thinking to yank her up but something goes wrong as she’s in the middle of making a punch. My cheek moves inwards and I can’t feel or hear anything for a moment as I stumble backward for a moment.

Everything stops, even the cheering, and all that’s left is silence and the occasional gasp as my hearing begins to come back. Wells grabs onto the two, pushing them apart, but they are already stopped seeing the damage they have done.

“Clarke,” Wells says, the worry clear in his voice. 

I take a deep breath, closing my eyes in the process to keep my emotions under control. My cheek still hurts, and I can feel the blood dripping out from my nose but I don’t make a move to clear it, I just embrace the pain.

I straighten my back, my throat opening up to let out a clear and loud voice. “If you have a problem with this arrangement, then you can leave.” My eyes open to the girl who is wide-eyed, staring at me. “No one is asking you to stay if you feel unsafe. But know, whatever decision you choose to make, what’s out there will end up being worse than what’s in here.” I say. “And if this new Bellamy does step out of line then I will personally take care of it.” I keep my eyes in the same position for a few more seconds to get the message across before turning around and walking away from the meeting.

“Your leader knows what she’s doing and if she says this is for the best, then this is for the best. It would be wise to listen to her or leave.” Wells backs me up, but I can’t help but feel my hands sweat as I keep walking towards the doors in front of me.

Do I know what’s for the best anymore?


End file.
